My cat and my ex

[Danielsan196952]

Ok, so last January me and my ex broke up and she moved 1.5 hrs away. She left our cat. Now we both adopted the cat, but when we were together, the cat preferred my ex. Well after we broke up my cat was confused and looking everywhere for her. The after a few days started coming to me for comfort. Well we bonded. About 2 months after we broke up my ex asked if she could visit the pets. I reluctantly said yes. The cat was hesitant at first but eventually let my ex pet her. Then a day after she left she was doing the same thing as before, looking all over for her and started acting out. Well 6 months passed. And our dog got sick so I had to make the decision to put her down. My ex wanted to say goodbye to her and also comfort our son. So I let her come over. After she visited with the dog for a bit she asked where the cat was. I said I'll go find her. Well the cat wasn't having it, and kept hiding from her. After about 15 minutes she let my ex pet her, although I could see she was not happy and kept looking at me with a wtf look on her face. Well after my ex left my cat is doing the same thing, and acting depressed. I told my ex before she left she could see her once in awhile, but after dealing with her the last day or so with her acting up. I've made the decision to not let my ex come see her. And I told her as much today, and she's trying to make me feel like I'm the ahole, and that I'm misinterpreting the cats emotions. She's the one who left and has not been in her life whatsoever, and now wants to selfishly traumatize my cat every few weeks, I just don't know what to think. And I'll say it again. When we were together my ex was everything to my cat, and now she's gone. Please help.

 

[neely]

Welcome to TCS! Personally it sounds like your ex is confusing the cat and being selfish, i.e. thinking of herself. If she was thinking of the cat she would not have willingly left her in the first place when the two of you broke up. IMHO, I can understand if she wants a cat in her life but it might be best for her to consider adopting a new cat. Since the shelters are always looking for potential adopters to give a cat their forever home this might be the best solution for everyone. Best of luck! Please keep us posted on your decision.

 

[Tik cat's mum]

Breakups are difficult, but I don't think you are being unreasonable. As you said your ex has only seen the cat twice in 6 months and one of those times she was saying goodbye and comforting your son. Of course your cat is confused by this. And yes your ex will miss the cat, did she have the option to take her with her. If she did then she can't expect you to allow her to come and go when it pleases her.

 

[game misconduct]

Ok, so last January me and my ex broke up and she moved 1.5 hrs away. She left our cat. Now we both adopted the cat, but when we were together, the cat preferred my ex. Well after we broke up my cat was confused and looking everywhere for her. The after a few days started coming to me for comfort. Well we bonded. About 2 months after we broke up my ex asked if she could visit the pets. I reluctantly said yes. The cat was hesitant at first but eventually let my ex pet her. Then a day after she left she was doing the same thing as before, looking all over for her and started acting out. Well 6 months passed. And our dog got sick so I had to make the decision to put her down. My ex wanted to say goodbye to her and also comfort our son. So I let her come over. After she visited with the dog for a bit she asked where the cat was. I said I'll go find her. Well the cat wasn't having it, and kept hiding from her. After about 15 minutes she let my ex pet her, although I could see she was not happy and kept looking at me with a *** look on her face. Well after my ex left my cat is doing the same thing, and acting depressed. I told my ex before she left she could see her once in awhile, but after dealing with her the last day or so with her acting up. I've made the decision to not let my ex come see her. And I told her as much today, and she's trying to make me feel like I'm the ahole, and that I'm misinterpreting the cats emotions. She's the one who left and has not been in her life whatsoever, and now wants to selfishly traumatize my cat every few weeks, I just don't know what to think. And I'll say it again. When we were together my ex was everything to my cat, and now she's gone. Please help.

do what you feel is best for the cat and your kid man