My Beautiful Baby Winter (jan 1st 2003 - Aug 13 2019)

cuthawolf

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I'm still trying to figure out how I'm supposed to move forward when such a huge part of my life is gone forever.

I've been very lucky in life, and only seldom lost a relative I cared for. Losing Winter was a pain I was totally unprepared for. Logically I knew I was going to hurt, but in the end I had forgotten something could hurt so, so much. It feels like I've woken to a World that is fundamentally Wrong, and will never be Right again now that she can't be in it.

But we're a strange species, us humans. Winter's passing has left a deep, nasty scar on my heart. But if you peeled that scar open you'd find almost 16 years of love, laughter and some of the best times in my life. I live with Chronic Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Winter helped make my life better in every way. She walked with me through some of the most difficult periods of my life, sometimes it's probably more accurate to say she carried me through them. I have a hard time imaging life without her.

I wouldn't trade away one second of my life with Winter to dull this pain, and I would do it all again if asked.

I love you Winter, with all my heart. I hope that you always know that, through your whole life, and wherever you are now. I love you. I miss you.
 
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cuthawolf

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This is my favorite picture of Winter, during Healthier times. She was always so fiesty, my wee beasticus. She'd purr and rub and bite my fingers, and she knew I couldn't resist to pat and stroke her when she lay like this. Winter Best.jpg
 

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Sleep easy Winter, you left your paw prints all over your human's heart, and that person will have sweet memories of you forever. Though you lived in this old world for so many years, you didn't stay here near long enough.

cuthawolf, I am so sorry for your loss. Sometimes it's is difficult for me to see how loosing someone so small can hurt so big, but I know from years and years of experience of living with cats that it does.

Winter is now with the Angles, but she will always be as close to you as your thoughts and dreams...you were truly blessed to have her for so many years.
 

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I am sorry that you lost your little friend, and yes the pain is at times unbearable to know that they are gone and it is final. 16 years is a good life although no amount of time is ever enough. She is fine now it is you who understandably are hurting.

Did you ever look into Holy Basil for stress and anxiety and Ignatia Amara for acute trauma? They are natural things that can help you deal with the loss, they don't mask it they help your body adapt to the stress.

I am sorry for your loss, she is beautiful.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, Lord Bless you.....:alright: :grouphug2: :rbheart:
 

di and bob

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What a precious baby who left such a mark on your soul......
You have experienced something that few humans do, the complete and beautiful love between a cat and who she chose to give her heart to. Your soul mate. You do understand that having her in your life was more precious than any treasure, that although it hurts so very much to not have her in your life anymore, what your soul gained from her sharing your life' journey for a while is priceless. To never have met her at all would have been unthinkable.
She will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers. Her love is a part of you, a part that is spiritual, so eternal."Death cannot take that which never dies" and that is your love for each other. Just as you would want for her if you were teh first to go, so she wants for you. To take her legacy of love and join it with others, to allow it to grow in the sunshine of smiles and happiness in life. Not drown in the tears of sadness.
Only time helps to heal a broken heart. May your memories of happier times bring you comfort, may your memories be with you until the end of time. She was one in a million, as unique as a snowflake, and her life seems just as fleeting. But what she left in your heart will withstand the ravages of time, and she will always be near because her new journey will always parallel your own. Take care of yourself, please know you are not alone in your grief. Although only you can feel the pain the pain of her passing because what you shared was between the two of you and no one else, we have stood in your shoes, and can empathize what you are going through. Time is the only thing that helps, one day at a time......RIP beautiful Winter. You will be so dearly missed, you will have a secure place in a loving heart for eternity. May the good lord bless and keep you, until you meet again.
 

BluenIsaacBoys

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I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend and companion, Winter. Please know that there are so many of us here that know just how sad and empty you feel right now. I lost my best buddy, Blue, just a month ago and can relate to pretty much everything you are saying. It helps to read and post on this forum as there are so many people here who truly "get it."

It sounds like you two were caregivers for one another and made each other's lives so much brighter. You will never really lose her, for she is always a part of you and will help you stay strong. Take care and God bless.
 

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I'm very sorry to read about Winter. As others have said, many of us sadly are all too familiar with the grief you're going through. It's especially hard when it's so new. As time goes on, the memory of the love and laughter you mentioned will help fill the hole you feel now.

RIP, little Winter. :rbheart:
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Winter, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

Kahlil Gibran said, "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." As deep as your sorrow is now, someday there will be joy in equal measure. And perhaps, when the time is right, Winter will guide another little soul to bring that joy to you.
 
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cuthawolf

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Rest you gentle, Winter, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

Kahlil Gibran said, "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." As deep as your sorrow is now, someday there will be joy in equal measure. And perhaps, when the time is right, Winter will guide another little soul to bring that joy to you.
Thank you, that's a lovely quote.
 
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cuthawolf

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Tomorrow I'll bury Winter in my parents back yard. They intend to die in their house so I can go sit and talk with her whenever I want. We're going to plant a rose bush over her, and eventually a tree nearby as well. Went to get a nice box today, and I'm pretty happy with it. My favorite old sweater will be her shroud. 20190816_180821.jpg 20190816_180829.jpg 20190816_180848.jpg
 

neely

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I love you Winter, with all my heart. I hope that you always know that, through your whole life, and wherever you are now.
She definitely knew how much you loved her and treasured your relationship with her. :catlove: Each and every cat is unique but as humans we bond with them and carry that special love in our hearts forever. In time Winter's memories will replace your sadness and those memories will last endlessly. :hugs:

I think planting a rose bush over her remains is a fitting and heartfelt thought. RIP sweet angel. :angel:
 

Maria Bayote

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I am very sorry for your loss. You have given her 16 beautiful years. That was all that mattered to her.

Rest in eternal peace, Winter. You were deeply loved and always will be.
 
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cuthawolf

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We buried her today, and a little weight has been lifted. Knowing where she is, knowing I can go talk to her, these things have helped a little with the pain. I still hurt, but I feel much better than I did when her little body left with the vet. We planted a Rose Bush over her while the Crows and Ravens watched, and Mother Nature very thoughtfully waited for us to be done before the rain started. I still miss her terribly, and I'm still pretty weepy, but I feel like now she's been given a proper send-off.
 

les26

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We buried her today, and a little weight has been lifted. Knowing where she is, knowing I can go talk to her, these things have helped a little with the pain. I still hurt, but I feel much better than I did when her little body left with the vet. We planted a Rose Bush over her while the Crows and Ravens watched, and Mother Nature very thoughtfully waited for us to be done before the rain started. I still miss her terribly, and I'm still pretty weepy, but I feel like now she's been given a proper send-off.
This beautiful.....where's my box of tissues? :( :bawling2: :rbheart:
 

catsknowme

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We buried her today, and a little weight has been lifted. Knowing where she is, knowing I can go talk to her, these things have helped a little with the pain. I still hurt, but I feel much better than I did when her little body left with the vet. We planted a Rose Bush over her while the Crows and Ravens watched, and Mother Nature very thoughtfully waited for us to be done before the rain started. I still miss her terribly, and I'm still pretty weepy, but I feel like now she's been given a proper send-off.
What a moving and blessed send-off that Winter had! Even ravens were present - the Ancient Ones believed that ravens were the messengers for the ancestors to communicate with us. You gave her 16 years of joyful living - a good long run. It is good to know that your parents intend to remain on their land and your heart can always have its home there :grouphug:
 
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cuthawolf

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It hurts a lot still. Nights like tonight it hurts so deeply it feels like I'm dying. Like there's this great wound that runs all the way through me, and all I've been doing is papering over it, not really healing. I know it's been almost no time at all, not quite three months. I'm rambling. It just hurts tonight. I miss her so much.
 
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