missy sudden behavior change: no longer eating breakfast, just hides

[louisstools]

You've got to find a way, you really do. Being upset only makes things worse for you - and Missy. What does the behaviorist advise you to do?

She advises rehoming the cat or putting her to sleep, and has for months because in her experience eating issues like this take multiple years to resolve -- IF they resolve -- and she didn't think I had the patience left. She also wasn't sure if this was something Missy could change without a radical environmental change. I'm not an expert but based on what I see daily with the cat I'm confident she would not eat in a different environment and along with other reasons I don't think rehoming her is a viable option. Rehoming her would also not give me any relief as she would no longer be under my care and I'd worry about her health and safety.

We've put this off for many months because of the diabetes. She was making progress -- not much but a little bit -- up until December of last year. Then she hit a wall and come February of this year the diabetes arrived and that threw us into a whirl. The diabetes is now managed but we never recovered to where we were with the eating and frankly the cat took a few steps backwards. I'm giving her 4x the appetite stimulant and putting a few more hours a day into getting calories into her than I was a year ago. Even between last October and this one, she is a completely different cat and not in a good way...only negative.

 

[silent meowlook]

Can you post a picture of her?

 

[louisstools]

 

[louisstools]

that was taken almost 3 years ago. She looks a little older now.

 

[FeebysOwner]

She advises rehoming the cat or putting her to sleep... I'm not an expert but based on what I see daily with the cat I'm confident she would not eat in a different environment and along with other reasons I don't think rehoming her is a viable option. Rehoming her would also not give me any relief as she would no longer be under my care and I'd worry about her health and safety.

I am a bit appalled at the behaviorist's advice. To suggest putting a cat down might be a resolution is unconscionable, IMO. Perhaps, she offered that because you demonstrated a resistance to the idea of giving Missy up? I very much appreciate your concern for Missy's health and safety, but to think of ending her life in order to save yourself from worry about her is equally astounding/shocking to me.

I don't like the idea of any cat being rehomed at such an age and having been with one caretaker all their life, but I am also more than troubled by the alternative - which is no alternative for Missy at all.

Forgive me for my reaction...I need to think more about this, as I am just stunned right now.

Missy is a very pretty girl. That breaks my heart even more.

 

[louisstools]

I am a bit appalled at the behaviorist's advice. To suggest putting a cat down might be a resolution is unconscionable, IMO. Perhaps, she offered that because you demonstrated a resistance to the idea of giving Missy up? I very much appreciate your concern for Missy's health and safety, but to think of ending her life in order to save yourself from worry about her is equally astounding/shocking to me.

I don't like the idea of any cat being rehomed at such an age and having been with one caretaker all their life, but I am also more than troubled by the alternative - which is no alternative for Missy at all.

Forgive me for my reaction...I need to think more about this, as I am just stunned right now.

Missy is a very pretty girl. That breaks my heart even more.

I understand. I'm trying to give Missy every chance to improve and get some relief. I also have to consider my health and life which has not been the best due to the cat. But if she won't cooperate then I don't have many options and none of them are good. I'm still hoping for a miracle. Believe me, I don't want either of those outcomes.

 

[FeebysOwner]

You know it isn't a matter of her not cooperating. Cats aren't wired like that. If anything, she thinks she is doing the best she can to survive. They don't think like we do. They operate from instinct, not 'logic'.

 

[Jabzilla]

I also agree with Silent Meowlook about using a feeding tube. I've read through this entire thread and a feeding tube sounds like it would make life easier for both of you. Missy can get her meds, any nausea can be addressed, and any other issues requiring oral medication can be given. And she can be fed full, hydrating meals twice a day without having to actually eat anything via her mouth. No more trying to get her to eat every hour, no more running and hiding. Missy can be petted nicely while you syringe food into her stomach via the tube. One of my friends in college had a cat who ended up with a feeding tube due to having fatty liver and using it was very easy. A feeding tube truly sounds like a win win solution for the both of you. Missy will get food and meds, and you will have a life again. No need to put her to sleep or give her away.

 

[silent meowlook]

She is a beautiful cat. Do you have a recent picture?

 

[Kflowers]

Have you told the vet you cannot continue as your are? Have you told the vet it takes hours every day to get any food in her? Have you told the vet this, not some whim, is the reason you want a feeding tube? If the vet still says no, demand a detailed answer of why they are refusing the feeding tube and refuse to leave the office until they give it to you. Refusing to give the feeding tube is like cutting off your cat's options and telling you, you aren't that important.

What would they do if you couldn't spend the time feeding her? What would they do if you worked away from home?

 

[FeralHearts]

Have you told the vet you cannot continue as your are? Have you told the vet it takes hours every day to get any food in her? Have you told the vet this, not some whim, is the reason you want a feeding tube? If the vet still says no, demand a detailed answer of why they are refusing the feeding tube and refuse to leave the office until they give it to you. Refusing to give the feeding tube is like cutting off your cat's options and telling you, you aren't that important.

This above.

L louisstools I haven't finished your whole thread yet. I have read through some of it. Hopefully I will be able to finish getting all the details today. Firstly wow. You've been through a lot - you and Missy. I get that already just from the pieces I've read. I wish I had an answer for you. I'm so sorry you and Missy are going through this.

I lost one of mine, Braveheart, a week ago today. I started out having to hand feed her and we eventually put a PEG tube in her stomach. It made things much easier. That being said, my girl was dying (this was palliative care) and I was doing this to give her as much time as I could. 7 -10 medications, feeding, getting up in the middle of the night twice, sometimes more, as some needed to be with food, some hours after meds etc.

Although we only did this for a couple of months, I'd have done it for three years if that would have given her more time and she would have been comfortable. That being said....

... If I'd had to have done it for three years, I can't say I wouldn't feel how you do - because it is exhausting. Everything in your life has to be timed and simple tasks like going to get groceries had to become a finely timed science. Leaving work late would throw things off and even if it was only 30 minutes - it threw things out of whack more than people realize. I get it. XOXOXOXO

I say this as although we only were able to do this for a couple of months, I can related to how exhausted to must feel. I work away from home. I'm still recovering. It was hard. It's hard on our bodies to do this. I would come home, feed her and the other cats (who have various issues), feed myself, and then go nap for a couple of hours. The naps helped - a lot.

As scary as that PEG tube was, and believe you me it was, it did make things easier in terms of getting food into her. That was one less worry, though the PEG tube did add another, but you do get used to that quicker than you think.

Last year I lost her sister, Mia. She was not a candidate for surgery and had feeding her was the only option when she stopped eating. It was messy, extremely time consuming and I was always worried about how much food I got into her. I tried syringe feeding as well as rolling peices of food into small balls and tucking it into the side of her mouth. She was also terminal but I know we would have done better if a tube could have been placed.

S silent meowlook is correct. Having experienced two cats that stopped eating.. you can create a food aversion. For Mia, I had one food I hand fed her, and chose differenent ones to give her to try to eat on her own. Sometimes that worked, sometimes it didn't.

I truly feel for the spot that you are in and I commend you for doing it for this long. That's dedication and love - and I know first hand the toll it takes and the commitment it takes to keep going - especially as long as you have.

Don't give up just yet though. As they say -when you are closest to success if when you feel like giving up.

I'm going to finish reading through your thread and see if I can add anything useful for you.

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[southbound]

She is a pretty girl. Doe she look much thinner today than in the 3 yo picture? I had a 15 year old boy who lost half his body weight due to an infection and was told by one vet to just put him down. He was the same cat only half the size. Still affectionate still ate but needed an operation to rid himself of the infection. One vet said to put him down immediately right then and there in the office. We found another vet who even at his advanced age was willing to do the operation. He never regained the weight but lasted another 4 years. Same loving cat till the end.
I feel for ya I'm sure she feels your frustration the decision is up to you.

 

[louisstools]

Have you told the vet you cannot continue as your are? Have you told the vet it takes hours every day to get any food in her? Have you told the vet this, not some whim, is the reason you want a feeding tube? If the vet still says no, demand a detailed answer of why they are refusing the feeding tube and refuse to leave the office until they give it to you. Refusing to give the feeding tube is like cutting off your cat's options and telling you, you aren't that important.

What would they do if you couldn't spend the time feeding her? What would they do if you worked away from home?

that knows the struggle. She knows it’s hours a day and that I’m barely able to keep my job and then I’m not getting nearly enough sleep because I have to stay up to try and get extra meals under the cat.

 

[louisstools]

She is a pretty girl. Doe she look much thinner today than in the 3 yo picture? I had a 15 year old boy who lost half his body weight due to an infection and was told by one vet to just put him down. He was the same cat only half the size. Still affectionate still ate but needed an operation to rid himself of the infection. One vet said to put him down immediately right then and there in the office. We found another vet who even at his advanced age was willing to do the operation. He never regained the weight but lasted another 4 years. Same loving cat till the end.
I feel for ya I'm sure she feels your frustration the decision is up to you.

because I drug her up so much and I spend pretty much every waking moment trying to get kibble into her her weight hasn’t dropped much at all. But I have to stay hyper vigilant or it just crashes and when I say crash is like 3/4 of a pound a week.

 

[southbound]

I don't know. Sometimes a fresh pair of eyes can help. I would find another vet.

 

[FeralHearts]

I've gone through and read everything and just wow. What an amazing job you've been doing. *tips hat*

The only thing I can add - and it might be totally wrong and useless - is adding Gabapentin. It's worth asking your very about a small dose of that and see if it helps.

My logic for the ask is that with all the weirdness, and the poop and pee issues, not to mention all the stress you've both been under for so long... I wonder if this might be helpful in a variety of ways.

If she is experiencing any discomfort, it can help. It can also help with the stress levels as well.

----

 

[lisahe]

Missy's a beautiful cat! I know the choices you need to make are extremely difficult to make but I sincerely hope you'll be able to find an option that doesn't involve putting Missy to sleep. I also know it's extraordinarily tiring to care for cats with chronic health problems. That said, aids like feeding tubes can help us by getting food, medications, and (as J Jabzilla mentions) fluids into them: they can be a temporary bridge to improved health. I think the feeding tube idea is particularly good because of Missy's constipation. (You know I think constipation is at least part of what's at the root of Missy's appetite problems... And I'll add, based on our cat's example, that just because a cat seems to be pooping regularly doesn't mean the cat isn't experiencing the effects of constipation on the body. Adding more water into a cat's diet can make a huge difference.) I'm sure your vet (or another vet, for a second opinion?) could give you advice on using the feeding tube with food and something to ease the constipation. If you can start to chip away at the constipation, that could well help bring back her appetite, which could well help improve her overall health.

I know Missy is very difficult to care for but finding methods -- like the feeding tube -- for both feeding her and treating her ailments could ease things for both of you. In the end, this comes down to the fact that Missy needs food, medicines, and fluids, and you need to find ways to make it a little simpler to get those things into her. I hope you'll find, with the help of your vet, a way to do that so both you and Missy can feel more at ease with each other again.

 

[Kflowers]

IF you've told your vet you are at the end of your rope and might even lose your job over this, and she does nothing to help when she could -- the feeding tube why is she refusing to do that? What is her reason to refuse that means more than your job and being able to pay for kitty and yourself? -- It is time to consider getting a vet who will actually try to work with you.

 

[silent meowlook]

Yes. She probably doesn’t know how to place one and I have no idea why she wouldn’t refer you to somebody who can.

 

[FeebysOwner]

There are a couple of you who are questioning the vet's motives/abilities about a feeding tube, but it is something that none of us even know has ever been discussed with the vet. The subject came up solely from a post that made by someone other than the OP. I am not saying that the OP shouldn't consider it, but they have not indicated any such conversation has occurred at this point.