- Nov 5, 2018
- Reaction score
Thank you for the kind words. She really was so so beautiful. I miss her pretty lil face every min of every day. I miss her gorgeous kind eyes looking up at me and her sweet lil meows..I can't tell you how sorry I am, Your Rosie was a beautiful girl, I hope you find comfort in knowing that you made the call based on her not suffering you sacrificed your everything to make sure she didn't suffer; and that is the most selfless act one could ever make. Rosie knew you loved her, your bond with her will be with you forever, nothing will ever break it and nothing will ever take away the beautiful memories of your sweet girl.
It's been a struggle dealing with how I lost her. I try to convince myself that she had to have been very sick (all the signs and symptoms were there, it's evident in pictures from the last year if i allow myself to look close enough, even in the blood work she was anemic, had a very very high wbc, low atl, signs of extreme inflammation, possibly pancreatitis, she tested postive for coronavirus- so many vets told me they suspected she had wet fip, and a few said cancer) so maybe this was the most humane thing to do but I still feel terrible that I allowed it to happen because it was something i never ever thought i would have to do.., something i never wanted to do. Something I always believed should not be our choice. I was not even strong enough to give the vet the "ok" to euthanize that night... my mom was with me and was the one who did that. But i feel horrible for not trying to stop it. I cried and cried and told my mom i felt like i wanted her to be with me till the very end, but i also didn't want her to suffer, i wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do. She assured me that it was and I stood there frozen and before i knew it my baby was gone forever.
Of course I knew my baby was getting older(she was 17) I knew she would not live forever, but in those 17 years that i had her i never really let myself ever truly think about not having her in my life. I always hoped if the time came, she would go peacefully at home surrounded by all those who love her. And I hoped she would be a lil older (at least 20) but never would have I ever thought she would suddenly develop fluid in her abdomen in a matter of few days, become very weak, start losing her balance, have trouble urinating/passing a bowel movement... only to take her to the ER to have them tell my beautiful kitty is dying and there is nothing they can do to help her.