Meowing Mystery

cml2015

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Hello,
I have a brother and sister from a cat rescue, 4 years old, The male is always with me. CoCo the little sister was only close to my husband, perhaps because her brother owned me. Now after having a number of tests and procedures in July, she ignores husband and now wants me. The dynamics between the two have changed also. He bullied her before but now not so much.
Anyway The male sleeps next to me at night. She now wants "something" I can not figure out. She will meow and meow , jump on the bed, head butt me, but then leaves. She wakes my husband who is not happy. I do not know what the meowing is about. She uses this same meow when playing with toys and when I pet her.....any ideas appreciated. Thanks
 

Jem

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If it's the same meow for playing and petting, I think she just wants your attention.
Is hubby upset that he's not her person anymore? Are you wanting to try and encourage that relationship again?
Did she used to sleep with you/hubby at night and now stays awake during the night instead?
What tests and procedures have been done?
 

fionasmom

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I would also like to know a little more about the situation. Jamie used to be very bonded to my husband until he held him down twice for me to apply Revolution. The cat was not hurt or roughly held in any way but afterwards would walk by my husband and stop and do the big Dracula hiss. We figured out that what Jamie perceives is that my husband is the bad guy for holding him, does not perceive anything with the quick drop of Revolution, but hears me say something like "it is okay now, baby" so figures that I rescued him from my husband.
 
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cml2015

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Thank you so much Jem and Fionasmom for answering so quickly. Cats are a wonder. I have had my sister and brother for 4 years.
In July my little girl had a cyst on her rectum . She had anal glands expressed and X-ray . A week later she had her biopsy, ultrasound, and blood test. With Covid I could not go in with her I felt terrible leaving her alone and I think it was very traumatic for her. When I picked her up later that day from her procedures she was still under the influence of Ketamine.. She should not have been released as she was in a bad way, glassy eyed , hypersensitive to noise and was running around the house. Finally I caught up with her on the bed and she was hyperventilating and panting. She never seemed to want me so I was very careful and kept stroking her telling her" it's ok". Slept with her in a separate room from her brother, who was hissing at her. Kept her brother away from her for a day or so and then reintroduced them.
The day she had her anal glands expressed she felt so much better. Did not know they were so bad, but going back for the procedure's changed the dynamics. She never goes into my husbands office, which she had been a fixture, headbutting his feet and sitting on his lap.
Now she is much more with me and doesn't run from her brother like before. He owned me I guess and she kept away. the Alpha thing...Now she doesn't give a hoot what he thinks, stays with me and no more husband. He is very hurt.
She now wants to be in bed with me but meows continuously while headbutting me, but never sleeps next to me. Only her brother does.
I believe she may have bonded with me when she was traumatized and I comforted her and stayed with her. She is her own women now, LOL!
I thought the meowing was for attention but when I pet her and try to cuddle she just walks away.
Do you think the trauma of what she went through flipped her switch , LOL?
Thank you for listening . Sorry so long
 

Furballsmom

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Can your hubs start giving her the meals, treats, water and additionally clean the litterboxes - if he's not doing all this already.

Can you try cat music for her, and also try a heartbeat toy?
 
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cml2015

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Can your hubs start giving her the meals, treats, water and additionally clean the litterboxes - if he's not doing all this already.

Can you try cat music for her, and also try a heartbeat toy?
My Husband?? He takes the easy way out. Watches Stock market and CoCo just came into visit him . Stayed away from me . Guess her brother claimed me and she went to my husband. I had been doing everything for them and she went to Him for 4 years, until her Vet procedures. He is NOT the handy type . He won't do the work because he never had to before when she came to him.
Maybe she just finally appreciates what I do for her.
 

Jem

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Perhaps, and I say this with love....but perhaps she used to seek out your husband because he is the safe, calm...and boring companion. When she was feeling unwell and probably in pain, or had general malaise, due to her anal glans and cysts, she wasn't much for excitement, so he was her safe space. Now that she's feeling better, she may also be standing up for herself now which is why she's not being subject to her brothers bullying...she's finally told him where to shove it!
I think her seeking you out in the middle of the night could also be due to feeling better. Cats are nocturnal by nature so she might just be a little more feisty and playful, when cats usually are. All of mine go into play mode around 2-3 am, and then seek us out between 5 and 7 (we get up around 7, but they sometimes want to be fed early) This can be helped though by ignoring her nighttime antics, but it can take time.
 
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cml2015

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I would also like to know a little more about the situation. Jamie used to be very bonded to my husband until he held him down twice for me to apply Revolution. The cat was not hurt or roughly held in any way but afterwards would walk by my husband and stop and do the big Dracula hiss. We figured out that what Jamie perceives is that my husband is the bad guy for holding him, does not perceive anything with the quick drop of Revolution, but hears me say something like "it is okay now, baby" so figures that I rescued him from my husband.
Hi fionasmom,
I did reply to you, but as a post for Jem and Fionasmom.
Perhaps, and I say this with love....but perhaps she used to seek out your husband because he is the safe, calm...and boring companion. When she was feeling unwell and probably in pain, or had general malaise, due to her anal glans and cysts, she wasn't much for excitement, so he was her safe space. Now that she's feeling better, she may also be standing up for herself now which is why she's not being subject to her brothers bullying...she's finally told him where to shove it!
I think her seeking you out in the middle of the night could also be due to feeling better. Cats are nocturnal by nature so she might just be a little more feisty and playful, when cats usually are. All of mine go into play mode around 2-3 am, and then seek us out between 5 and 7 (we get up around 7, but they sometimes want to be fed early) This can be helped though by ignoring her nighttime antics, but it can take time.

Perhaps, and I say this with love....but perhaps she used to seek out your husband because he is the safe, calm...and boring companion. When she was feeling unwell and probably in pain, or had general malaise, due to her anal glans and cysts, she wasn't much for excitement, so he was her safe space. Now that she's feeling better, she may also be standing up for herself now which is why she's not being subject to her brothers bullying...she's finally told him where to shove it!
I think her seeking you out in the middle of the night could also be due to feeling better. Cats are nocturnal by nature so she might just be a little more feisty and playful, when cats usually are. All of mine go into play mode around 2-3 am, and then seek us out between 5 and 7 (we get up around 7, but they sometimes want to be fed early) This can be helped though by ignoring her nighttime antics, but it can take time.
Hi Jem,

You know you might be right. I know the change came after her Recent Vet visits. Although I feel terrible that she was in pain for 4 years, just thought she let her brother have me and she took my husband.
Now that I think of it he used to go after her when he found me petting her. She ran from me because she was not up to fighting with him.
How could I have been so insensitive to her pain and actions because of it!! Very Sad indeed.
 

Jem

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Now that I think of it he used to go after her when he found me petting her. She ran from me because she was not up to fighting with him.
How could I have been so insensitive to her pain and actions because of it!! Very Sad indeed.
Now don't go and start feeling bad!!!! There is no blame.... Cats are notorious for being able to mask and hide their discomforts. And I'm not saying that that is the ONLY reason for how she was before, just that it could be part of why the sudden change in behavior.
You've done good by her and helped her, that is what's important, and she will have many more wonderful years with you and your husband caring for her the way you have. :hugs:
 

fionasmom

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I agree with Jem Jem about what the transition might have been. Cats know when we are helping them, even if they don't show it. My IBD cat Chelsea who was always difficult to handle, enough to where it affected her earlier treatment, is much more agreeable to her pills as I think that she senses something got better once we "do that with the towel and pill shooter." You can't blame yourself. Cats can be almost impossible to read and are not up for any investigation of their bodies most of the time.
 
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