Meela's dad died suddenly and I am so heart-broken

meelasmom

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I struggled with the death of Meela almost 3 years ago, and now I am struggling with Meeka's death (her dad)

It all happened so sudden. He has been a very healthy cat with no health issues. I was out hanging Christmas lights for a few hours yesterday afternoon. When I came in, I puttered around the house for a few minutes and then sat down with a cup of coffee. I heard a cough/gag from one of my cats. Sometimes Abby does that and throws up her food. Not sure why. The second time I heard it, I went to check to see what was going on. It wasn't Abby, it was Meeka. I looked for a pile of whatever I thought he was throwing up. There was nothing. I looked at him and there was white string of foamy-like drool coming out of the side his mouth and his tongue was out. He acted like he was choking because he was wheezing. I went to get him a drink but he had jumped from his food table down the floor. He was trying to get to his ottoman when he sleeps. I followed him in and noticed his tongue was blue/purple. He tried to jump up on the ottoman, but was unsteady on his feet. I helped him up where he laid down and started gagging again.

I panicked and screamed. My son and his girlfriend came running. Macy is in nursing school and she attempted to do the Heimlich maneuver. I then called my daughter who came running over. She was a CNA, so she also tried. It appeared that he wasn't fighting us any longer. They tried to feel to see if anything was lodged in his throat. There was nothing. We then started CPR, but he was gone. There were no fluids that came out or blood anywhere. This all happened within just a couple minutes.

I just slumped down crying because I couldn't believe what just happened, we all did. I don't know how or why he died. All I knew was that he was gone. My heart is so broken right now. He started out as my daughter's cat, but ended up being mine. I have loved him since he came to our home. I have yet to go tell my daughter because she lives by herself with her almost 2 year old son. My husband wouldn't let me call her because he didn't think it was fair to tell her over the phone, so now I have to go to her house and tell her in person. I am doing that after work today and am dreading it so much.

I know he is with Meela now and any of his other "kids" that passed on and that's a comfort, but I miss him so much. He came into my bedroom almost every morning and woke me up. He was first to the dinner plate and first to use the litter box when there was fresh litter, even if he had just used it. When I called any other cats name, he came running. I miss his chirp, his meow, the noise he made when he slept and the way he put his head against my forehead, purring giving me love. Not know what just happened is killing me. I don't know that he choked, as I tried researching things to find a reason, any reason to explain his sudden death. It also kills me that I was outside for 3 hours before he died. What if I had been inside? Would I have noticed something wrong? Could I have saved him?

He was with me all day Saturday and I had told him just how much I loved him and knew there was no where int he world he should be but with me. I did notice that his breath smelled horrible and I joked about using a tic-tac. I know how much he loved me and I know he knew how much I loved him, but the fact that he's gone is just killing me. He was there and then he was gone in the blink of an eye.

I read about heart worms, respiratory illness and other things, like a heart-attack. He was a big cat, on the heavy side, but I wouldn't have called him overweight, which is another explanation for death. He was a pure inside cat who didn't do a lot but sleep, eat and play. His kids (Tink and Ivy) know something is wrong. Tink is overly loving and there in my lap, loving me. Ivy acts a little sad, but it's Tinky who acts much differently.

Please, please, please pray for Meeka and me. I am just beside myself with grief today. I just don't know what to do or how to handle this. Please, no rainbow bridge poems, I'm trying to stop crying. I didn't sleep much last night at all.
 

will2002

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Losing one of fur babies any way, any time is a difficult experience to live through, however losing one the way you just lost Meeka will rip your heart out, and stop your world from turning. I have been where you are right now at least three times in my lifetime, and there is nothing that will ease the sorrow and grief but the passing of time. Do not beat yourself up wondering if there was something, anything at all, you could have done to change Meeka's appointment with his destiny. I seriously doubt that there was!... It's all just part of the cycle of life.

I am very sorry that Meeka left this old world so suddenly. I know that "sorry" doesn't help all that much at this time, but it's all I have, and it is from the heart.
 
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meelasmom

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Thank you will2002. I am just at a loss for words and for what happened. I am still in shock and so deeply sad. It was so unexpected. He was only about 5 years old. Over a year ago, I thought the best thing for him was to go to the shelter because he was always fighting with other cats outside and wouldn't stay in the house. He was getting beat up badly. He was going down a dangerous path.

I took him to the shelter and attempted to say goodbye with hopes that he would get adopted and have a good life, with a lifestyle change. The lady who tried to take him from my arms scared the crap out of him, literally. She was a brute of a woman who handled him very roughly. He looked at me like "why are you doing this"? I cried so much all the way home I threw up. I was sick with guilt doing that to him. I called her office immediately (it was a Saturday at closing time) and left her a message that I made a mistake and to call me when they reopened which would have been Tuesday. She called me and I told her I made a mistake and I begged her to let me take him back. She agreed, but said he would have to be fixed before he left and because he drew blood from me, he had to be in quarantine. I agreed. I kept in touch with her and went out a week later. She told me quarantine wasn't up, but he looked sad, but reassured me that I could still get him back.

As I was driving away, she called me and told me if I promised to keep him a quarantine at my home, I could take him that day. I was crying I was so happy. She loaded him up and he hid in the back of the kennel. I put my hands on the front metal part, talking to him. Finally, I said "squeak A Meek" (His nickname) and he came to the front of the kennel and sniffed me and then started rubbing on my fingers. He knew it was me who was saving him and bringing him home. I was overjoyed and kept telling him I loved him and was sorry for putting him through what I did.

Because he was fixed and because of the time away, he became a new cat. He didn't try to go outside and if he did, he ran out and then sat there as if he forgot what he was doing. He put weight back on and his fur grew out again. He was just perfect. Before getting fixed, he was known to spray in the house. He didn't do that ever again.

I just miss him so much and am in complete shock.
 
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meelasmom

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Oh, no, how sad. It's so hard when it's unexpected like that, and there's no good explanation. I'm very sorry for your loss. You and your family have my deepest condolences.:hugs:
Thank you so much. Betsygee
 

les26

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Sadly these things just happen, they just do.....but neither of you have any regrets, you loved him and he you, he had a wonderful life with you and the family but for some reason had to move on to the next life, and one day you will meet again and it will be tears of joy not sadness.

He lives forever in your heart, and remember their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven, so he is fine now, just fine......

God Bless....... :alright: :grouphug2: :rbheart:
 

solomonar

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I am very sorry for your loss. You are a very nice person, to care cats so much!
Tears and tuna for Meeka the Cat!
+++
Returning to practical aspects (whatever difficult may be) :
- difficult to spot the cause, I agree; but checking for poisonous plants around does not harm anyway (keep in mind that cats have different vulnerability profile than humans, so look for official lists)
- same as above for the kitchen (Chocolate? Grapes? Etc.)
- schedule a prevention screening plan at a trusted vet (it might be expensive, but is anyway cheaper than any treatment)- prevention in feline medicine is rather rare
- set a routine to self-check health status aka look closer at the gums and eyes, touch various parts of the body looking for cat reaction
- reach out, make more friends and discuss more (small talk is OK) to increase your psychological resilience
 

di and bob

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I know the 'why' doesn't change the outcome, but all his symptoms could also point to a heart problem. It sounds like you did everything you could, try not to beat yourself up over something that won't change. Please know I can share the horror and emptiness you are feeling, no matter why it comes, the death of someone you love always shatters your world immensly. When so unexpectedly, and with one so young, even more so. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
One day the hole in your heart will heal, but it takes a long time, one day at a time......don't hesitate to come here to share your feelings, you have a legion of those who can empathize with you, sometimes talking about it is that first step that needs to be taken. As you well know, you never get over it, you learn to live through it. Take care......RIP precious Meeka. You will never be forgotten, you will have a secure place in loving hearts for eternity. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 
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meelasmom

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Sadly these things just happen, they just do.....but neither of you have any regrets, you loved him and he you, he had a wonderful life with you and the family but for some reason had to move on to the next life, and one day you will meet again and it will be tears of joy not sadness.

He lives forever in your heart, and remember their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven, so he is fine now, just fine......

God Bless....... :alright: :grouphug2: :rbheart:
thank you les26. I appreciate it.
 
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meelasmom

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I know the 'why' doesn't change the outcome, but all his symptoms could also point to a heart problem. It sounds like you did everything you could, try not to beat yourself up over something that won't change. Please know I can share the horror and emptiness you are feeling, no matter why it comes, the death of someone you love always shatters your world immensly. When so unexpectedly, and with one so young, even more so. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
One day the hole in your heart will heal, but it takes a long time, one day at a time......don't hesitate to come here to share your feelings, you have a legion of those who can empathize with you, sometimes talking about it is that first step that needs to be taken. As you well know, you never get over it, you learn to live through it. Take care......RIP precious Meeka. You will never be forgotten, you will have a secure place in loving hearts for eternity. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
Thank you so much Di & Bob. This is so painful. I just miss him so very much. My only regret is not being able to save him.
 

CatLover49

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I struggled with the death of Meela almost 3 years ago, and now I am struggling with Meeka's death (her dad)

It all happened so sudden. He has been a very healthy cat with no health issues. I was out hanging Christmas lights for a few hours yesterday afternoon. When I came in, I puttered around the house for a few minutes and then sat down with a cup of coffee. I heard a cough/gag from one of my cats. Sometimes Abby does that and throws up her food. Not sure why. The second time I heard it, I went to check to see what was going on. It wasn't Abby, it was Meeka. I looked for a pile of whatever I thought he was throwing up. There was nothing. I looked at him and there was white string of foamy-like drool coming out of the side his mouth and his tongue was out. He acted like he was choking because he was wheezing. I went to get him a drink but he had jumped from his food table down the floor. He was trying to get to his ottoman when he sleeps. I followed him in and noticed his tongue was blue/purple. He tried to jump up on the ottoman, but was unsteady on his feet. I helped him up where he laid down and started gagging again.

I panicked and screamed. My son and his girlfriend came running. Macy is in nursing school and she attempted to do the Heimlich maneuver. I then called my daughter who came running over. She was a CNA, so she also tried. It appeared that he wasn't fighting us any longer. They tried to feel to see if anything was lodged in his throat. There was nothing. We then started CPR, but he was gone. There were no fluids that came out or blood anywhere. This all happened within just a couple minutes.

I just slumped down crying because I couldn't believe what just happened, we all did. I don't know how or why he died. All I knew was that he was gone. My heart is so broken right now. He started out as my daughter's cat, but ended up being mine. I have loved him since he came to our home. I have yet to go tell my daughter because she lives by herself with her almost 2 year old son. My husband wouldn't let me call her because he didn't think it was fair to tell her over the phone, so now I have to go to her house and tell her in person. I am doing that after work today and am dreading it so much.

I know he is with Meela now and any of his other "kids" that passed on and that's a comfort, but I miss him so much. He came into my bedroom almost every morning and woke me up. He was first to the dinner plate and first to use the litter box when there was fresh litter, even if he had just used it. When I called any other cats name, he came running. I miss his chirp, his meow, the noise he made when he slept and the way he put his head against my forehead, purring giving me love. Not know what just happened is killing me. I don't know that he choked, as I tried researching things to find a reason, any reason to explain his sudden death. It also kills me that I was outside for 3 hours before he died. What if I had been inside? Would I have noticed something wrong? Could I have saved him?

He was with me all day Saturday and I had told him just how much I loved him and knew there was no where int he world he should be but with me. I did notice that his breath smelled horrible and I joked about using a tic-tac. I know how much he loved me and I know he knew how much I loved him, but the fact that he's gone is just killing me. He was there and then he was gone in the blink of an eye.

I read about heart worms, respiratory illness and other things, like a heart-attack. He was a big cat, on the heavy side, but I wouldn't have called him overweight, which is another explanation for death. He was a pure inside cat who didn't do a lot but sleep, eat and play. His kids (Tink and Ivy) know something is wrong. Tink is overly loving and there in my lap, loving me. Ivy acts a little sad, but it's Tinky who acts much differently.

Please, please, please pray for Meeka and me. I am just beside myself with grief today. I just don't know what to do or how to handle this. Please, no rainbow bridge poems, I'm trying to stop crying. I didn't sleep much last night at all.
Im so very sorry for your loss:alright::redheartpump::grouphug2:RIP SWEET MEEKA..PRECIOUS KITTY:petcat::catrub:😥
 

CatLover49

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Thank you CatLover49. He is with is daughter, Meela, now, but I will never see him again. It hurts so much.
I know it hurts so bad..Hes with his daughter NOW ...in Cat Heaven....I have an 11yr old cat named Snowball..n I worry ALOT cause hes older...I know its gonna be heartbreaking for me when he crosses the bridge..So I can just imagine ure pain...Take it one day at a time...Ive heard the pain never goes away....but it does ease up... :alright: :redheartpump::grouphug2:
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Meeka, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

I am so, so sorry. Although I know how desperately you miss his physical presence, his love for you, now translated and purified into Love, remains with you always, for Love abides, always, forever, Love abides. I do not pretend to understand the mechanics of this, but I know, to the depths of my being that those we love are BOTH with us always, sharing our joys and sorrows with us, comforting us, AND they are in a place of health and well-being and joy, with those other who have gone before. I live this reality. But...OH, we miss their warm bodies near us! My heart with yours.
 

Antonio65

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M meelasmom , what an awful experience you had to go through! I'm so terribly sorry, it sounds like a nightmare, but it is the reality.
I think he swallowed something and wasn't able to spit it out. I think this is waht scares all cat owners, the possibility that one of our cats picks up something in their mouth while we don't see.

Meeka is now with Meela, for sure, and they are looking down on you and thanking you for giving them so much love, much more than they could even imagine.

Please, accept my virtual hug from across the ocean.
RIP Meeka, you have never been alone, and you never will.
 
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meelasmom

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M meelasmom , what an awful experience you had to go through! I'm so terribly sorry, it sounds like a nightmare, but it is the reality.
I think he swallowed something and wasn't able to spit it out. I think this is waht scares all cat owners, the possibility that one of our cats picks up something in their mouth while we don't see.

Meeka is now with Meela, for sure, and they are looking down on you and thanking you for giving them so much love, much more than they could even imagine.

Please, accept my virtual hug from across the ocean.
RIP Meeka, you have never been alone, and you never will.
Actually Antonio, I have looked into it and there is a pulmonary heart condition that Turkish Angora's seem to have which can end in sudden death. All the signs actually are pointing towards it being something completely out of our control. I just miss him terribly and didn't expect to lose him, ever.
 
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