My friends, I have been laboring to share with you the loss of my Lucy kitty. Every time I try to write of our experience, I get weepy and begin to break down. Today is six months since I had to let her go, and it hasn't gotten much easier. I had my Lucy for nearly 20 years. She was the light at the center of my universe. In the last 5 years we fought the ravages of hyperthyroidism and renal failure. In the end, after much research and deliberation, I knew I wanted to spare my little girl the agony of "dying of natural causes", as a renal failure death could be horrible. I prayed to God that she would be able to give me a sign before she began to suffer. She did, and I had to make a terrible decision. I made arrangements for a vet to come to my apartment to assist with her final moments (trips to the vet were always miserable for her). Our last hours together were happy and peaceful. I took her for one last walk outside and as a final treat, she gobbled down a pile of her favorite deli turkey. Then she went to sleep in my arms as I tearfully sang to her as she drifted away. It was as perfect an ending as I could have hoped to make it for her. For me, it was the worst day of my life. I actually felt her heart stop as I held her. The second worst day came a few days later when I got her ashes back. I made the mistake of opening the little urn to look at her ashes. That was too much, and I broke down and sobbed, to the point of having chest pains. I wish I could share her life story here with you all, my friends, but it is difficult enough to write what I have. Allow me please to leave you with a letter that I wrote to her today, as well as a few photos and finally, a memorial video I put together. Thank you for your indulgence, my dear friends. My heart goes out to all of you who grieve for your babies... Dear Lucy, It just doesn't seem possible that you have been gone six months. Sometimes, it seems like it was just yesterday that I lost you. But it was six very long months ago. I am grateful to God for letting me find you and for allowing me to keep you and care for you and love you. And in return, you loved me unconditionally for nearly twenty years, and I could not have asked for more than that. But, after so very many years together, I find that my grief runs deep. Daddy is sad every day, since you went away. Some days I laugh and some days I weep...and some days I laugh and some days I weep. I will never forget what you meant to me, and I will love you until I die...and I hope & pray that someday we will be together again, forever. Until then, I will miss you more than I can ever express, my Lucy baby. Love, Daddy.