March 18, 2017

Discussion in 'Crossing the Bridge' started by wt1964, Sep 13, 2017 at 5:19 PM.

  1. wt1964

    wt1964 TCS Member Kitten

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    May 2, 2013
    My friends, I have been laboring to share with you the loss of my Lucy kitty. Every time I try to write of our experience, I get weepy and begin to break down. Today is six months since I had to let her go, and it hasn't gotten much easier.

    I had my Lucy for nearly 20 years. She was the light at the center of my universe. In the last 5 years we fought the ravages of hyperthyroidism and renal failure. In the end, after much research and deliberation, I knew I wanted to spare my little girl the agony of "dying of natural causes", as a renal failure death could be horrible. I prayed to God that she would be able to give me a sign before she began to suffer. She did, and I had to make a terrible decision. I made arrangements for a vet to come to my apartment to assist with her final moments (trips to the vet were always miserable for her). Our last hours together were happy and peaceful. I took her for one last walk outside and as a final treat, she gobbled down a pile of her favorite deli turkey. Then she went to sleep in my arms as I tearfully sang to her as she drifted away. It was as perfect an ending as I could have hoped to make it for her. For me, it was the worst day of my life. I actually felt her heart stop as I held her. The second worst day came a few days later when I got her ashes back. I made the mistake of opening the little urn to look at her ashes. That was too much, and I broke down and sobbed, to the point of having chest pains.

    I wish I could share her life story here with you all, my friends, but it is difficult enough to write what I have. Allow me please to leave you with a letter that I wrote to her today, as well as a few photos and finally, a memorial video I put together.

    Thank you for your indulgence, my dear friends. My heart goes out to all of you who grieve for your babies...

    Dear Lucy,

    It just doesn't seem possible that you have been gone six months. Sometimes, it seems like it was just yesterday that I lost you. But it was six very long months ago.

    I am grateful to God for letting me find you and for allowing me to keep you and care for you and love you. And in return, you loved me unconditionally for nearly twenty years, and I could not have asked for more than that. But, after so very many years together, I find that my grief runs deep.

    Daddy is sad every day, since you went away. Some days I laugh and some days I weep...and some days I laugh and some days I weep.

    I will never forget what you meant to me, and I will love you until I die...and I hope & pray that someday we will be together again, forever. Until then, I will miss you more than I can ever express, my Lucy baby.

    Love,
    Daddy.



    19th Anniv.b.jpg 0912172135a.jpg 18527568_10209062872668893_4052049782976431965_n.jpg IMG_2230.JPG 0505171709.jpg
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2017 at 7:17 PM
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  2. betsygee

    betsygee Don't believe everything you think. Staff Member Moderator

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    Mar 17, 2013
    Central California USA
    Your post brought tears to my eyes. What a heartfelt, loving tribute. I'm so very sorry for your loss and your pain. Lucy was so lucky to have someone who loved her as much as you obviously did, and it sounds like you got plenty of love in return.

    Thank you for sharing with us. RIP, little Lucy. :rbheart:
     
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  3. AdrianaV

    AdrianaV TCS Member Kitten

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    Aug 10, 2017
    Brazil
    I'm so sorry for your loss, we know your pain here, you're not alone, Lucy is so beautiful, she had a great time here with you, such a good care taker, she always knew she was and feels loved now, I hope time brings some peace to our broken hearts until we can be with our loved furry ones again. Wishing you blessings.
     
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  4. Antonio65

    Antonio65 TCS Member Alpha Cat

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    Feb 27, 2017
    Orbassano - Italy
    These few lines say all about you and your beautiful Lucy.
    Your tribute has made me cry, this was true love from the first to the last day of your journey.
    Lucy was the light at the center of your universe, but you were the sun in her world, you were complete together and I think nobody could have been happier than you both together.
    Your words for Lucy touched my heart, I'm so glad to have read your and her story, even if it made me feel sad.

    I'm at work now, I haven't watched the video because I'm already crying and I wouldn't want to weep before all other people who could never understand.
    But I'll watch it tonight, at home, where I will be free to dry my tears.

    RIP Lucy, you have known the real love!
     
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  5. di and bob

    di and bob TCS Member Top Cat

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    Dec 12, 2012
    Nebraska, USA
    What a beautiful,lasting memory you have in that video! Words definitely cannot convey what my heart is feeling right now, I want to express my condolences, but words seem so inadequate. The way she kissed you, and rode your shoulder is so endearing it made me cry. You could feel the love between the two of you, and it is something beautiful to behold.
    I want you to remember, she would NEVER want you to be so sad because of her, she loves you too much. she is one of the most important, and beautiful parts of of your past now, but she wants only sunshine and happiness in your future, just as you would want for her if you were the first to go. 6 months is not long at all in the cycle of grief, time will soften the edges, but it is something only you can work through, and sometimes it takes a long time. I remember driving down the road, and starting to cry because I would see a cat that looked like my Chrissy, and even 5 years later the thought of her brings a knot to my stomach. Because we have experienced something that few do, the total love of another.
    Lucy was your soulmate. You are forever joined by a bond so strong that not even death can break it. Use it and your precious memories to comfort yourself. Try to keep busy, don't dwell on your grief. She would like nothing more than for you to find another little love to share what she gave to you, to do good in her name. Like a father with several children, each one is unique and loved in their own way. Never the same, but loved nonetheless. It brings a distraction to the grief, and lets us look forward into the future instead of backwards into something we can never change.
    Rejoice in knowing her, in sharing your life's journey for a little while, her new path will always follow yours until the day it crosses a gain. You will be blessed for giving that sweet girl such a wonderful life, so full and happy. May God grant you peace in your heart, because that is where she surely dwells, forever and ever.
    Take care of yourself and keep in touch. We all need a friend that understands our pain, it helps to mend that broken heart. I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. RIP dear Lucy, you were so very loved in this world, you will be welcomed and loved into the next. May you find your perfect spot in the sunlight, may you bring your kisses in the night to bring peace to a shattered soul. May the light from the new star in the nighttime sky shine down on the one who so desperately misses you, to bring light and warmth once more to a heart that is eternally joined with yours . Goodnight, sleep tight, little Princess!
     
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  6. les26

    les26 Sylvester's daddy Alpha Cat

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    Nov 19, 2015
    Emmaus, Pennsylvania
    Truly a love story, so beautiful and heartfelt....I understand how you feel about her, I held Simon and Sebastian as they died and to feel the life drain out of them takes some life out of us, we die a bit with them, but they had great lives here on Earth and are just fine now, happy and healthy, it is us who are hurting but we must go on, life moves on and we will see them again someday.

    I feel the way you feel about her towards Sylvester, whom you see pictured who looks like a combination of the two boys mentioned; he is about 5 but lived sometimes outside at his former house so I worry about his immune system but give him vitamins and fish oil everyday, but the bond he and I have is so strong that when it is his time to go I will be destroyed, hopefully that day is years off yet but I know how you feel about her because of how I feel about him.

    Such a beautiful story, and a peaceful ending for a sweet cat...truly a love story. :rbheart: :hugs:
     
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  7. Mamanyt1953

    Mamanyt1953 Rules my home with an iron paw Staff Member Forum Helper

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    Oct 16, 2015
    Havelock, North Carolina
    Rest you gentle, Lucy, dream you deep. You walk in your Daddy's heart forever.
     
  8. zed xyzed

    zed xyzed TCS Member Top Cat

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    Nov 10, 2015
    Toronto Canada
    I am so sorry you lost your dear friend. Your letter to her brought me to tears. RIP Lucy
     
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  9. Antonio65

    Antonio65 TCS Member Alpha Cat

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    348
    Feb 27, 2017
    Orbassano - Italy
    @wt1964,
    I have watched your video and it's fantastic!
    It bursts with love.
    Your bond was truly strong, the kind that we seldom see.
    A warm kiss to Lucy from me!
     
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  10. wt1964

    wt1964 TCS Member Kitten

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    May 2, 2013
    Thank you, my friends for your love and support. Reading your comments have brought many tears to my eyes. I am heartened to know that my memorial to my little girl moved you. To know my Lucy was to know me, and vice versa.

    Lucy and I had many wonderful times and adventures together. I am hoping to do a children's book about her.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2017 at 1:21 PM
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