Male cat pinning new kitten...help!

DaniCat

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Hello!

I’m a newcomer and new cat owner and I could use some advice and reassurance.

Zion is our 1 year old beloved Balinese boy. He is still intact (not neutered). Long story short, we got him in the heart of covid. Our first vet retired just as we were about to schedule his neuter, second vet was a psychopath and we cancelled, and then I fell ill. After a two month waitlist we are currently ten days away from Zion’s neuter date with our new vet. Please, no judgment!

Two weeks ago we got a new kitten. We did not intend on getting another cat and definitely not so soon, but a sweet little 12 week old Balinese girl became available and on a whim we said yes! And so here we are with a 1 year old intact male and a now 14 week old unfixed female kitten named Luna.

We consulted with the vet and he assured us it would be okay but to keep them separate and watch for mounting behavior. We are doing just this. BUT it’s not so easy because we live in a small house and Zion is obsessed with little Luna. It’s all he can think about! He meows outside her door constantly and so we started allowing short supervised visits.

At first it seemed like they were okay. Luna our kitten is a doll! She tries to be super affectionate with him when they first greet each other. Zion seems okay with it for a minute but then quickly starts obsessively sniffing her privates. She gets a little annoyed at this and gets feisty and wants to play. He then pins her with his mouth. She usually never flinches and continues playing right away as soon we break it up. She attacks him, pounces and gets him to chase her. They chase each other around like crazy. One minute she is the aggressor and he retreats and the next second it switches. At first it seemed like they were having fun and we thought they were being playful, but then we noticed that they both seemed stressed out and Zion was becoming more aggressive. His eyes get big and he begins to stalk her. The other day he got her by the neck and started to drag her across the floor and wouldn’t let go. She let out a little cry. He has never drawn blood and she always goes right back to playing but it’s terrifying to see. That same day he once again pinned her with his mouth by the neck l and it seemed as if he was going to try and mount her. We decided this was getting out of hand and to keep them completely separate.

We plan to keep them separate until Zion goes for his neuter in 10 days (and for several weeks after while he recovers). This seems like an eternity though! They continue to talk through the door and he begs for her. We give him so much attention and try to play with him as much as possible but he has no interest! Everything pales in comparison to Luna and he seems so sad and jealous when we go into her room to give her some attention.

I have to note that neither cat has ever hissed or growled at one another. I pray they will love each other in time. I feel that he wants to love her but his hormones and instincts are raging and taking over. And I can’t help but feel SO badly for putting both these cats in this position. It was irresponsible of me. I want the best for both of them and I pray that I did not mess everything up by not having him neutered.

Please tell me that there is still hope! I’m hoping that things will change once Zion is neutered but I am reading all this scary stuff online about how male cats that are neutered after 1-2 years of age can remain aggressive their whole lives even after surgery.

Thank you so much in advance! I’m new here. Any guidance, advice, success stories are much appreciated! This is quite stressful right now and I want to do right by these animals.
 

Mamanyt1953

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Hang in there. You're doing fine. I'd let them have minimal time together when you can closely supervise it. And do schedule her for a spay as soon after his neuter as possible! No sense in tormenting him with a queen in heat if you don't have to! Even without his...erm...bits, he'll very likely know he's male and SHE is in heat, and willing. That said, three weeks out from the neuter, he'll be, as they say, shooting blanks, so no danger of kittens.

Fair warning...I had a pair of spayed/neutered cats a few decades back that were the Romance of the Century. The fact that the pertinent body parts were no longer there made no difference to them at all. Thankfully, they only once embarrassed me in front of company.

I have a sneaking suspicion that these guys are going to get along just fine, once the hormones are taken out of the mix. Such shennanigans as mine performed are rare.

And don't beat yourself up over the delay. COVID has turned everyone's life on its ear, one way or another! You are doing the best you can under very trying circumstances.
 

ArtNJ

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I don't see any major issues here. One year olds are known for being stupid over enthusiastic. Pinning a kitten and biting the neck are a part of play. Its actually fairly common that if a smaller or less active player has had enough but doesn't feel like running, they might be play bitten! The kitten would run and hide if it was really a problem, not come right back.

I don't love the dragging by the scruff. I've not personally seen this one (apart from one forum user's video) and only read about it happening a few times. That said, it won't actually hurt the kitten, momma cats pick up kittens this way, but when a 1 year old does it, its like, hrn, I think I want my toy kitten over here! Its a bit too much! But with your kitten's age, and the way she is acting, she isn't bothered, is already enjoying playing with him, and its just not a big deal to her. So it doesn't need to be a big deal to you. They will grow into a more normal looking play shortly.
 
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DaniCat

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Hang in there. You're doing fine. I'd let them have minimal time together when you can closely supervise it. And do schedule her for a spay as soon after his neuter as possible! No sense in tormenting him with a queen in heat if you don't have to! Even without his...erm...bits, he'll very likely know he's male and SHE is in heat, and willing. That said, three weeks out from the neuter, he'll be, as they say, shooting blanks, so no danger of kittens.

Fair warning...I had a pair of spayed/neutered cats a few decades back that were the Romance of the Century. The fact that the pertinent body parts were no longer there made no difference to them at all. Thankfully, they only once embarrassed me in front of company.

I have a sneaking suspicion that these guys are going to get along just fine, once the hormones are taken out of the mix. Such shennanigans as mine performed are rare.

And don't beat yourself up over the delay. COVID has turned everyone's life on its ear, one way or another! You are doing the best you can under very trying circumstances.
Thanks so much for the reply and reassurance!
 
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DaniCat

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I don't see any major issues here. One year olds are known for being stupid over enthusiastic. Pinning a kitten and biting the neck are a part of play. Its actually fairly common that if a smaller or less active player has had enough but doesn't feel like running, they might be play bitten! The kitten would run and hide if it was really a problem, not come right back.

I don't love the dragging by the scruff. I've not personally seen this one (apart from one forum user's video) and only read about it happening a few times. That said, it won't actually hurt the kitten, momma cats pick up kittens this way, but when a 1 year old does it, its like, hrn, I think I want my toy kitten over here! Its a bit too much! But with your kitten's age, and the way she is acting, she isn't bothered, is already enjoying playing with him, and its just not a big deal to her. So it doesn't need to be a big deal to you. They will grow into a more normal looking play shortly.
Thank you for the feedback! I’ll keep you posted.
 
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