Making A Lap Cat

bluebirdy

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Hello Everyone,

I have no illusions that my request is more for my (and my son's benefit) than for our cats. We have two lovely sibling kittens that are 9 months old that we really wish were willing to sit in our laps and relax. We have fostered them since they were nine weeks old (initially with four others in their litter though those kittens were all adopted within a month). I was told that they were kept with their mom in a room without tons of human interation for the first nine weeks.

They are very happy cats that enjoy our company. When I sleep at night one enjoys curling up by my head and the other sleeps on a blanket beside my bed. When I'm in the house they enjoy walking over and meowing for a quick chin rub. They like to sit below my chair (it's an Ikea Poang) when I'm relaxing in the evening or beside my son on the couch for a short while. They enjoy playing and we use interactive toys daily.

Neither cat likes to rest in our laps for cuddles, or even sit beside us for a long while whether we pat them or not. I've had dogs before and I miss that cuddling time. They are most cuddly when I wake up in the morning and will lie ontop of me for a half hour before puttering off for their day. If I pet them too much they'll nudge themselves beneath the blanket and lie against me for the rest of the time.

Is there any way to encourage them to cuddle more during the day, or help them to develop some lap cat tendencies?
 

Millie Cat

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My cat likes to play with my feet but will cry if I try to hold her or force her on my lap.
 

orange&white

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I would just enjoy that morning wake-up snuggle time.

My senior cat will crawl into my lap as long as I don't pet him. My kitten only likes to cuddle for a little while in bed. I just let them be who they are. In the past, I have only had one total "lap cat" who would never get off me, and one who would position herself on my chest if I stretched out to watch TV.
 

1CatOverTheLine

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Time and patience remove all the invisible barriers. My final two feral cats have been with me for 22 months in their own house. Both happily sit on the sofa next to me, but have never tried to break the space barrier until about two weeks ago. Black Friday put one paw on my leg one evening, and the next night, both paws, while having her head petted. In ten days' time, she's become The Cat With No Sense Of Personal Space, and will now sit on my lap, put her front paws on my shoulders, and rub her head on my forehead, cheeks, chin, nose and eyes, bunting and cheek marking with absolute abandon, and will even grudgingly consent to being picked up.

It's a long road, and worth every step when that magical switch is suddenly thrown.

.
 

littlecatt

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I agree, time and patience is key, though some cats may just not be lap cats or be occasional lap cats. My two cats that I had growing up just never enjoy sitting on laps. One would so rarely curl up on a lap that it always warranted sending a picture to the family group chat. Each cat has their own way of showing affection and it sounds like yours love you very much! Nine months is also pretty young. They're like tweens at that stage and often have better things to be doing than snuggling. I've heard from people that cats get less affectionate as they get older, but I've found that my cat (adopted at 7 mo, now 18 mo) has gotten more relaxed and snuggly with age. I can't sit down without him wanting on my lap or my shoulder.

So I'd say just be patient and let them associate being on your lap with good things! Attention and treats are always great incentives. However they may just not be lap cats, which makes those morning snuggles all the more gratifying.
 
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bluebirdy

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Thanks to everyone for their feedback. I've been working with my son on using treats to encorage our kitties to walk across his lap and sit briefly.
 

elliesvictim

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9 months is pretty young. Still a kitten and has teen years to come. These are very active uncooperative periods. Be patient. When it's cold they'll come to you. It's probably about a year till they start to fully settle down. It'll happen if you let it. Laps are warm and if you impose it on them they'll probably never fully enjoy it. But if you insist treating it the best avenue but I wouldn't try to push it just yet.
 

lifewith3cats

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It's been my experience, and I have read this, that if you get your kitten REALLY young as in so young they need to be fed with a syringe, that then bonds them to you more strongly. Of my 3 cats, the only cat that is a lap cat is the one I got at 4 weeks and syringe fed her for a couple weeks. The other 2 cats we have, ages 3 and 2, will lay next to me and follow me everywhere, but they will lay on my lap only rarely. I know people on here will have stories of how they adopted older cats and they were lap cats. Nothing is ever 100% with anything.

You can't make a cat into a lap cat. It just doesn't work that way. Cats have their own minds, and they have a right to have control over their own bodies. I wouldn't dream of trying to get my other 2 cats to lay on me or my children. My kids respect that our 3 cats all have different personalities and that's just the way it is. Sure, it would be nice if all cats were lap cats, but having grown up all my life with cats, lap cats are few and far between.
 

danteshuman

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I turned my hyper cat and my super cuddly cats into lap cats. How? I have a 10 minute rule of thumb. If they got on my laps when they were young, I gave them 10-15 minutes minimum. Which is why my cats come running when I get under a blanket because that equals an hour. Also my hyper cat I lured onto my lap with toys (my legs under a thick comforter) and played with him on my lap so he would learn my lap = good things. One of my cats is not big on petting (the hyper one), so if he starts to get irritated I stop petting him and let him be on my lap .... he now is a total lap cat. It just takes time and patience :)
 

margd

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View attachment 185696 Success. See cat, see lap, see moving mess.
Hurray! :clap2: How did you do it? Assuming that you had any input whatsoever and that your kitty didn't just decide it was time.

I adopted Polly when she was 7 years old and she was sweet and affectionate but never sat in my lap. When I was sitting in my chair, she always sat beside me, under the coffee table. After a few months, she started to sit on the ottoman at my feet. Then she started to take sudden walks to the kitchen, walking over me on her way there. Next, while kitchen bound, she would perch for a second or two on the back of the chair. Then came the day where she stood on my lap for awhile, apparently needing to rest before undertaking the rest of the arduous trek to the kitchen. And finally, one day she curled up on my lap and went to sleep. It was wonderfully entertaining watching this process as she gradually built up the courage and trust to go where she really had wanted to be the entire time.:zzzcat:
 

danteshuman

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I have MS so I keep the house cold. Maybe being available as a warm squishy heater helped? Really though that 15 minute rule rewards them for cuddling. Feel free to bribe your cat with treats you hand feed slowly or toys to bribe/lure your cat onto your lap :)
 

Yenta

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BlueMoon, the stray I adopted and had for 18 years, adored my daughter. She would sit on her lap, sleep with her, be carried by her. I was allowed to feed her, clean her litter box and bathe her for fleas. She could not tolerate my presence for much of anything else. My daughter, however, grew up, and about 5 years ago, it seemed like BlueMoon had feline dementia. She sometimes got lost. She also forgot that she didn't like people and became aggressively friendly. I would wake at 2 am with the cat on my chest peering into my face purring loudly. She was a lap cat until she had to be put down due to cancer. We will see what the new kittens that we recently adopted end up doing. So far they sleep together, but will sometimes curl up next to either myself or my fiance. We will see.
 
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bluebirdy

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Hurray! :clap2: How did you do it? Assuming that you had any input whatsoever and that your kitty didn't just decide it was time.
We played some games on my lap and my sons laps. We used treats to encourage them to explore our laps and bodies. We could put it on our lap, then a shoulder, then a knee etc. etc, so they explored and crawled.

Lillie has crawled into my lap for the morning the last few days. Though it's also possible that it can be related to moving, and them feeling less secure and wanting to be closer for comfort.
 
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