Lump Biopsied & I Need to Be Talked Off the Proverbial Ledge

iPappy

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"So, someone please ease my anxiety (because I create worst case scenarios like magicians pull bunnies out of hats), and tell me Coco will be okay waiting 5 extra days for the surgery. The mass hasn’t grown and he still as full of vim, vigor, and mischief-making as he ever was)"

I think you eased it on your own. :) Consider what's happened. He has to wait 5 extra days, not even a week, for an excellent surgeon that you can afford and has a great reputation. As you stated, the mass hasn't grown. He's still full of it, making mischief and ripping around like no one told him he has a health scare. Unless the surgeon fairy fell on your house and managed to do it for free, I'd say this sounds like a pretty sweet deal, and a huge gift. Take the 5 days and make sure he's as well fed as he will tolerate and as strong and happy as possible before his surgery, and he should do great!! As scary as this is, I'm glad there's such a great solution for him, you, and your finances. :heartshape:
 
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deathvalleyqueen

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Another Update:
The surgery that was scheduled for today didn’t happen. The surgeon wanted to get a CT scan before going in. He’s going to send the scan out to the radiologist. However, on initial review, he said it looked like the mass may have spread into the nasal cavity, which doesn’t sound good at all. He wants to hear back from the radiologist before he would discuss this any further.

I was so looking forward to the surgery today, so that the mass could be removed and we could move on to the next steps in the process. And, now, it sounds like it’s worse than initially thought. I haven’t cried in about a week and now I’m just absolutely devastated. This seems so unlikely to be something that can be treated with surgical intervention.

I haven’t slept well in over a month. My anxiety has skyrocketed. I just don’t know how much more I can handle.
 

fionasmom

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I know that this is devastating for you, as you had prepared for the surgery and were focused on that happening today. The surgeon is doing the right thing to get all the info that he might need, so try to wait for the report. Nasal tumors can be treated in various ways, so hang in there until you have some information to work with.
 
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deathvalleyqueen

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I know that this is devastating for you, as you had prepared for the surgery and were focused on that happening today. The surgeon is doing the right thing to get all the info that he might need, so try to wait for the report. Nasal tumors can be treated in various ways, so hang in there until you have some information to work with.
I just feel like I’ve failed. The time it took get the biopsy scheduled and the first surgical consult scheduled and then today’s consult/scan scheduled. 6 weeks in total. So much time. I tried as hard as I could to get him in places faster. But maybe I could have been more forceful, maybe if I hadn’t waited these past five days to see this new surgeon, maybe if I had paid the $6,800 last week Coco would be fine now. Maybe + maybe + maybe = failure. That in the end, it’ll be me who killed him and not the cancer.
 

fionasmom

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Absolutely not. Cancer diagnoses, or the evaluation of masses which may not be cancer, take a certain amount of time, including in humans. Initial appointment, diagnostics scheduled, results given, strategy planned are all conducted over a period of weeks to months. No one goes from lump to surgery to chemo/etc within the same week. Five days is nothing to a cancerous growth, if that is what this is. It does not move that quickly by any means.
 

iPappy

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I just feel like I’ve failed. The time it took get the biopsy scheduled and the first surgical consult scheduled and then today’s consult/scan scheduled. 6 weeks in total. So much time. I tried as hard as I could to get him in places faster. But maybe I could have been more forceful, maybe if I hadn’t waited these past five days to see this new surgeon, maybe if I had paid the $6,800 last week Coco would be fine now. Maybe + maybe + maybe = failure. That in the end, it’ll be me who killed him and not the cancer.
I told my vet when I had to have Willie euthanized very suddenly that I "feel like a traitor every time I have to do this". I do feel like that in the moment, but the bigger picture is that I would feel like a bigger traitor for not taking action....or just not caring. YOU care. You're trying! The two cats I've lost this year both had cancer and were so quiet about it and showed only symptoms of slow, normal aging.
How is Coco acting? Is he eating, playing, acting himself?
 
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deathvalleyqueen

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I told my vet when I had to have Willie euthanized very suddenly that I "feel like a traitor every time I have to do this". I do feel like that in the moment, but the bigger picture is that I would feel like a bigger traitor for not taking action....or just not caring. YOU care. You're trying! The two cats I've lost this year both had cancer and were so quiet about it and showed only symptoms of slow, normal aging.
How is Coco acting? Is he eating, playing, acting himself?
It’s the caring that’s difficult, really feeling the weight of having Coco’s life in my hands. I’ve cared for someone dying of cancer, but they had agency, could tell me how they were feeling, make decisions about their treatment. Here, it’s all on me. And, hearing that it may have spread—after feeling like today was the day we were in a place where we could, if not come ahead, at least be still contenders in this race—it now feels like we’re running a race against a competitor with a 10-mile lead.

Coco has never been a high energy cat; a very independent soul. His favorite activities have always been eating and sleeping—I mean, after coming from the vet today, he finished his bowl of food in like 3 minutes—and that’s still the case. He doesn’t seem different to me. So, I’m trying to hang on to that. But all I’m thinking about what the CT scan today could mean for his treatment and it shakes me to my center.
 

FeebysOwner

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We, as cat parents, always have our cat's life in our hands. It isn't until they are truly ill that the magnitude of this responsibility hits. Feeby, like Coco is not a very high energy cat and for the most part independent (unless she chooses not to be) - her favorite activities are also eating and sleeping, and she loves to 'feast' after a return from the vet (consolation feeding, IMO). She has definitely been diagnosed with lymphoma but shows very little signs in that regard.

I go with her cues, as they are best thing I have. Go with your cues with Coco, and do what we all do - evaluate the 'technical' stuff as it comes in.
EDIT: I won't assume I 'caused' Feeby's lymphoma, nor should you assume that what has happened with Coco is your 'fault' either.
 
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iPappy

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I agree with you about caring for a human vs. a pet. A human can understand what a treatment will be like, or understand that in a few days they may feel ill, or they'll experience GI stuff. Pets can't. I hate that.
If he's eating and acting normal....this is very good. No one told him about his diagnosis! The vet may have some changes to make to his protocol, but if the changes are tailored to what they potentially found out today, this is a GOOD thing. It sounds like your vet is not a "one size fits all" type. Plus one for them!
Feeby's Mom you mentioned not assuming we "caused" it. That's the first place my mind went to when I learned what was wrong with my dog. Living in rural Ohio, every year we get round up sprayed on every inch of farm land, and I just happen to live with farmland right at my back door and right along side my back yard. I was ready to do battle. But then again, I realize lymphoma (in dogs, and I guess cats probably aren't too different) has a genetic link. Certain breeds of dogs are predisposed to lymphoma, so I guess certain lines of cats could be, too. The knowledge of what caused it won't help us.
Hugs to you both :)
 
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deathvalleyqueen

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Can we please catch a break, please?

In my last post, I mentioned that the surgeon was waiting for the radiologist report before discussing the surgery. That was a week ago. After not hearing from the surgeon, I called the office today. The front desk let me know that the surgeon only received the report last night because something malfunctioned with the reporting system. However, the surgeon would get back to me today. It’s now 7 PM, so that clearly didn’t happen.

Any time I think things are going our way, we are met with obstacles. At this point, I despair of the surgery even happening. It’s been 28 days exactly since Coco’s diagnosis (6 weeks since it appeared) and we are nowhere, with that mass still festering in my baby’s head. I’m considering going back to BluePearl and just handing over the $6,800 because I don’t know how much more of this I can handle.

I thought being connected with this surgeon was a blessing, a great surgeon at an excellent price point. However, in the end, it seems like there are no blessings; just false hopes in a cunning disguise, being peddled by charlatans dressed as shepherds.
 
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deathvalleyqueen

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I heard back from the surgeon and the prognosis is so very bad. The mass on his head is breaking down bone in his skull and is heading towards his brain. He doesn’t recommend surgery because the mass will grow back quickly. He recommended I keep the appointment with the radiation oncologist we have on the 31st just to hear what he has to say. However, overall, the prognosis is that there won’t be a lot of time before the tumor reaches his brain. Weeks, months; he cannot say.

This is obviously not the outcome I wanted. I am weeping as I write this.

He is still eating and lounging, and now I need to figure out when to put him to sleep before he gets a seizure (which, the surgeon, will be the sign that the tumor has broken through the bone). If anybody has any words of wisdom to offer in that regard (or in any regard), I would be most appreciative.

I am just devastated that I can’t save my baby.
 

Furballsmom

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Gads I'm so incredibly sorry to read this. In honesty, I was fearful that this was what you'd hear.

However, on the other hand his emotional state sounds awesome. He doesn't know what is going on in his head. He doesn't understand your sorrow, bless his heart. If you can, (this is something I'm constantly telling myself, over and over) try and hang on to the emotions, for his sake.

I'm not particularly knowledgeable about this so from my perspective, I'm not clear what benefit you'd gain from meeting with the oncologist.

I'm hoping and praying for the both of you that there's some slight something you are able to detect in his demeanor, before a seizure occurs, where you'll know that he's basically telling you it's ok (and that you are able to get an appointment in a timely fashion --rather than having to wait for an opening in a schedule, for him).
 

fionasmom

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I am so sorry to read this. As of a few days ago he was eating and seemed to have quality of life. If he is still stable it might be a good idea to meet with the rad onc who might be able to give you more information on a time frame or possible treatment although I am going to agree that this sounds grim. The seizure part is difficult to determine and the doctors will hopefully be able to advise you on how to make that decision. As was stated, in some cases of possible seizures caused by another condition which is worsening there may be symptoms to watch for.
 

Jaxson’s momma

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I took my 9-year-old cat Coco yesterday morning to the vet to have a cyst on his head drained/removed. However, it turned out not to be a cyst but a mass. They took a section of it to biopsy and culture, and I’ll know the results by the end of next week.

I am so scared for him and have been crying on and off since because I’m already fearing the worst. I don’t know how I’ll handle waiting the week for the results.

All his other tests - blood work, ECG, and chest x-ray were normal, and an initial cytology said the mass was consistent with an inflammatory lesion - so I wasn’t expecting this.

I don’t want to lose him. He’s just the most fun, energetic cat, and has been my anchor through some really tough times in my life.

I’ve started reading all of these posts and stories all over the internet about people having cats diagnosed with cancer and 100% losing my shit imaging this happening to my baby Coco. He’s just sweet baby and I can’t imagine being without him. I know I should stop reading and Googling, that trying to read the tea leaves of what the lump could via internet posts is, I know, a fruitless endeavor and has only gotten me worked up and crying.

I’ve had all rolling around in my head and, I guess, I just want to stop crying and get all these words out in a place that may understand.
 

Jaxson’s momma

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To give an update, my baby Coco has a soft tissue sarcoma. He’ll need to get surgery and, if they aren’t able to get clean margins, chemotherapy. We’re trying to get him in with a surgical oncologist within the next two weeks. I’m absolutely devastated.

I never prayed harder in my life for something not to come to pass and here we are. It seems no one in my life is answering their phones, so I’m sitting in my house weeping. You all were so supportive when I posted originally, so right now this is the only place I can vent since no one else in my life is around right now.
I am so sorry😢Try to stay positive because cats are very intuitive. Cocoa needs you to stay strong. I’m praying for you
 
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