Lulu and Finn - four or five weeks later

Lulu&Finn

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Finn is about 4 lbs and about 14 weeks. Lulu is a year and about 10 lbs. They are still separated at night because of rough play where Finn is screeching. I can’t stand to think that she’s hurting him. Lulu is an anxious Cat and I suspect she has hyperesethia. I worry that her anxiety is making her more aggressive toward him. But that could be in my head. She’s part tortie and full of attitude.

The good news is she hates when he cries at the door. She comes running and talking to him. They eat side by side. Share litter boxes, she has cleaned him once or twice. They will sleep in the same room during the day. But almost all their interactions are that rough play. They bite, roll around, bunny kick. He squeals and if I’m there I make them stop. If he manages to get away from her he hides. Only to come charging back out for more. He is the starter of the trouble more than 50% of the time. I know that’s a good sign. He also doesn’t appear to have any injuries.

Do you think I’m being too sensitive? He’s so little. It stresses me out. I’d love to not have to put him in my son’s room. I’m afraid she’s going to hurt him.
 

susanm9006

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These two sound like they are friends and playmates. If she was really hurting him he wouldn’t be coming back for more. There is no need to separate them no matter how loud it gets because they are just playing. If you get too nervous with the noise you can try distracting them with a wand or similar toy until you can wean yourself from interfering. It is probably very confusing to them when you separate them while they are having a good time and during this playtime they are building their relationship. You want him to have respect for her before he becomes bigger and stronger than her or you may have issues when he becomes an adult.

I also think you should let them be together at night because they are friends and the separation stresses them both.
 

Furballsmom

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Hi!
I'm borrowing this from A ArtNJ , although I realize your boy is a little older;
"Kittens are protected by biological hard wiring - an adult cat will never have an intent to actually injure a true young kitten. So it goes a few different ways -- ideally, the adult cat will pin the kitten and make it squeal a tad, teaching it boundaries and manners. That turns out to be really helpful."

With this in mind, plus the fact that he keeps coming back for more, I'm thinking you may want to leave them together :)
 
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Lulu&Finn

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So you don’t think he will aggravate her to the point of her hurting him? Ugh. I can’t stand the thought of her having him pinned down.
 

ArtNJ

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If he wanted to hurt her, he already would have. Have you heard of an 8 year old boy doing actual damage to a 5 year old boy via head noogies? It doesn't happen. Its the same thing. Head noogies aren't nice play, and your big cat is not playing all that nicely, true, but the little cat is still loving having a playmate. Absent some change in relationship or some sort of accident (mostly a scratch from a stray nail) they wont hurt each other.
 

ArtNJ

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As far as being pinned down, getting what human wrestlers call "full mount" and biting the neck is a normal thing that cats practice in play. In the wild that move is to kill prey, but in play its normal. Generally, its hard for them to pull off when the cats are of equal size, but you see it more when there is a size mismatch. If his weight is really locking her in and making her uncomfortable, she'll squeal, squirm out and run away, but his pinning her is not any kind of real problem.

Your struggling with this is normal because from the posts we get, it seems that one year is literally the high point for over-enthusiastic play. (Well, maybe 1-2). He is big, and he is seriously overly-enthusiastic. So she squeals sometimes and disengages. But she still wants to play later, meaning she isn't afraid or stressed. So all is well and I wouldn't worry so much about separating them.
 

Mamanyt1953

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Try to remember that ALL cat "play" is practice for the hunt, and it does get loud. She is not fearful of him at all, and that tells you everything you want to know. Do think of kids on a playground...for all the screaming and squealing, it is rare for a true injury to happen.
 
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