- Joined
- May 30, 2018
- Messages
- 41
- Purraise
- 104
Hi everyone,
I know there have been so many threads like this, so apologies for adding one more.... I'm in need of advice/reassurance(??) about a cat introduction in progress. I think it may be going better than I feel it is, but I may be freaking out due to my lack of tolerance for watching conflict in others (long story of family issues, etc.!).
I have had an elderly rescue cat, Lucy, for four years. She is estimated to be about 19 now. On May 18 I took in another rescue kitty, Padma (either 1 year old or 3 years old, depending on whether I believe the foster mom or the shelter paperwork...). I think part of my anguish is that I feel I have betrayed Lucy by adding stress for her. Padma had been rescued outside after miscarrying kittens, and already had one "failed adoption" with a person who gave her up in less than a week because she "wasn't adjusting fast enough". She is a very sweet kitty, not aggressive with Lucy, but wanting to be friends. Lucy just wants to be left the &&%)&! alone.
I have a comparatively large apartment, so there is space for both cats to be separated. I've been following a sort of Jackson Galaxy-esque introduction plan. We had the baby gates down for a few days and are at the "eat play love" stage, but after some conflict last weekend we are back to Padma being out when I can supervise, and the cats being separated at night (with Lucy having peace and quiet in the living room, dining room, and kitchen to eat as she pleases, and Padma in the back part of the apartment where she can sleep with me). They can both nap in the living room during the day without much conflict, but Padma gets curious when Lucy gets up and ambles into the kitchen, and runs to follow her. (Lucy eats a little bit at a time, so her "mealtime" is spread out over the whole day...) They will both eat in the kitchen together, and I've been feeding them treats together (Churu). But I worry about conflict if I am not there to intervene.
On Saturday night, they had a fight (Padma was too close to Lucy, not doing anything specific, but too close to her space), and, though nobody was bitten or scratched, Lucy behaved really strangely afterwards -- sort of air-boxing even after I had separated them. At first it seemed as if she had hurt her paw, but she was walking on it fine afterwards and went back to the kitchen to snack. But I was terrified. I took Lucy to the vet on Monday, and he has prescribed Tramadol because he thinks she is in a lot of pain from arthritis. I'm hoping that will help her feel better and also help their relationship.
This morning when I let Padma out, Lucy was chasing her a little and I actually called the foster mom and some friends who are thinking about adopting cats to explore other options for Padma. But I think some of my reaction may be my lack of tolerance for conflict. I have patience with scared kitties (it took Lucy a month to let me touch her after I adopted her), but I am finding that watching others in conflict is just agonizing, and I don't want my own issues to make me back off from an introduction that will eventually work. (We are going for tolerance to the degree that I can safely leave them together, not friendship!) I've felt myself getting really panicky and shaky and I've completely lost my appetite.
I should add a few other things -- I have Feliway diffusers plugged in, and I am going to be more deliberate about playing very actively with Padma to tire her out. She is accepting that Lucy won't be a playmate, but she does need one, even if it's a human.
When I was talking with our vet and asking for advice about the introduction, he said "no good deed goes unpunished", but I feel that I have done a "good deed" by taking in Padma, and Lucy is the one being punished. Which means that my "good deed" was... an awful thing.
Any thoughts are welcome.
Thank you all!
(tagging
cat nap
and
hybriseris
since we had talked a little about Padma & Lucy in an earlier thread!)
I know there have been so many threads like this, so apologies for adding one more.... I'm in need of advice/reassurance(??) about a cat introduction in progress. I think it may be going better than I feel it is, but I may be freaking out due to my lack of tolerance for watching conflict in others (long story of family issues, etc.!).
I have had an elderly rescue cat, Lucy, for four years. She is estimated to be about 19 now. On May 18 I took in another rescue kitty, Padma (either 1 year old or 3 years old, depending on whether I believe the foster mom or the shelter paperwork...). I think part of my anguish is that I feel I have betrayed Lucy by adding stress for her. Padma had been rescued outside after miscarrying kittens, and already had one "failed adoption" with a person who gave her up in less than a week because she "wasn't adjusting fast enough". She is a very sweet kitty, not aggressive with Lucy, but wanting to be friends. Lucy just wants to be left the &&%)&! alone.
I have a comparatively large apartment, so there is space for both cats to be separated. I've been following a sort of Jackson Galaxy-esque introduction plan. We had the baby gates down for a few days and are at the "eat play love" stage, but after some conflict last weekend we are back to Padma being out when I can supervise, and the cats being separated at night (with Lucy having peace and quiet in the living room, dining room, and kitchen to eat as she pleases, and Padma in the back part of the apartment where she can sleep with me). They can both nap in the living room during the day without much conflict, but Padma gets curious when Lucy gets up and ambles into the kitchen, and runs to follow her. (Lucy eats a little bit at a time, so her "mealtime" is spread out over the whole day...) They will both eat in the kitchen together, and I've been feeding them treats together (Churu). But I worry about conflict if I am not there to intervene.
On Saturday night, they had a fight (Padma was too close to Lucy, not doing anything specific, but too close to her space), and, though nobody was bitten or scratched, Lucy behaved really strangely afterwards -- sort of air-boxing even after I had separated them. At first it seemed as if she had hurt her paw, but she was walking on it fine afterwards and went back to the kitchen to snack. But I was terrified. I took Lucy to the vet on Monday, and he has prescribed Tramadol because he thinks she is in a lot of pain from arthritis. I'm hoping that will help her feel better and also help their relationship.
This morning when I let Padma out, Lucy was chasing her a little and I actually called the foster mom and some friends who are thinking about adopting cats to explore other options for Padma. But I think some of my reaction may be my lack of tolerance for conflict. I have patience with scared kitties (it took Lucy a month to let me touch her after I adopted her), but I am finding that watching others in conflict is just agonizing, and I don't want my own issues to make me back off from an introduction that will eventually work. (We are going for tolerance to the degree that I can safely leave them together, not friendship!) I've felt myself getting really panicky and shaky and I've completely lost my appetite.
I should add a few other things -- I have Feliway diffusers plugged in, and I am going to be more deliberate about playing very actively with Padma to tire her out. She is accepting that Lucy won't be a playmate, but she does need one, even if it's a human.
When I was talking with our vet and asking for advice about the introduction, he said "no good deed goes unpunished", but I feel that I have done a "good deed" by taking in Padma, and Lucy is the one being punished. Which means that my "good deed" was... an awful thing.
Any thoughts are welcome.
Thank you all!
(tagging
cat nap
and
hybriseris
since we had talked a little about Padma & Lucy in an earlier thread!)
, but keep an eye on her - I'm a little surprised your vet is giving this to such an old cat.
.
