Lost our old man, Spock

[stephanie junca]

We lost our cat Spock this past Friday. We had been trying to get a straight answer from our vet for the past year and a half to what was going on with him, but they were not helpful. Someone on this site suggested searching for a cat-focused clinic which I did find a really great one. They saw him last week and found that he had stage 3 CKD, IBD that had most likely turned into lymphoma judging by the thickness of his intestines in the xrays, pancreatitis, and advanced heart disease as well as arthiritis in his joints. Why my previous vet did not alert me to any of the issues that would come in bloodwork is beyond me! When I asked them for Spock's records to give to the cat clinic I saw the results and wish I would have asked to see them at that time instead of just trusting them to tell me if there were any abnormalities.

The cat clinic was honest with me that at his age of estimated 15 he would not have a good quality of life. The sub-q fluid treatments for CKD would affect his heart as well as the steroids treatments for IBD. He had gone from 12 lbs four years ago to 7 lbs last week. His last few days, he barely ate and was mostly just laying around looking miserable. It was clear that he didn't deserve to suffer like this, so we let him go.

I sent an email to the former vet office informing them of Spock's passing and all of the things that they should have brought to my attention. Maybe it was not necessary to send them that email but as we process grief like this I know anger is one of those phases. I also let them know that I would not be returning back to them with my other cat. She deserves better as did Spock.

Now my Luna is left coping with the loss of her brother. She seems ok so far though more vocal than usual. I sometimes feel as though she is almost asking me "where is Spock?" I let her smell me after we let him go and also showed her his empty cat carrier. I am not sure she understood of course.

My question is should we be thinking of getting her a buddy again?

We have 2 dogs also but they tend to mostly ignore her. Maybe it's too early and I am just trying to fill a void. I know when I lost a previous cat, it took me 3 months before I was able to adopt again which were these two, Spock and Luna.

Any words of wisdom is appreciated!

Here was the last pic I took of them together and of Spock.

 

[Furballsmom]

Now my Luna is left coping with the loss of her brother. She seems ok so far though more vocal than usual. I sometimes feel as though she is almost asking me "where is Spock?" I let her smell me after we let him go and also showed her his empty cat carrier.

Bless you for that on her behalf. Try some Cat Music, and a purr toy or heartbeat toy, even if they didn't sleep together that much. These things will help get her through the transition a little more easily

I can't answer about a new cat. It could be wonderful and it could backfire for Luna.

 

[Leroy17]

We lost our cat Spock this past Friday. We had been trying to get a straight answer from our vet for the past year and a half to what was going on with him, but they were not helpful. Someone on this site suggested searching for a cat-focused clinic which I did find a really great one. They saw him last week and found that he had stage 3 CKD, IBD that had most likely turned into lymphoma judging by the thickness of his intestines in the xrays, pancreatitis, and advanced heart disease as well as arthiritis in his joints. Why my previous vet did not alert me to any of the issues that would come in bloodwork is beyond me! When I asked them for Spock's records to give to the cat clinic I saw the results and wish I would have asked to see them at that time instead of just trusting them to tell me if there were any abnormalities.

The cat clinic was honest with me that at his age of estimated 15 he would not have a good quality of life. The sub-q fluid treatments for CKD would affect his heart as well as the steroids treatments for IBD. He had gone from 12 lbs four years ago to 7 lbs last week. His last few days, he barely ate and was mostly just laying around looking miserable. It was clear that he didn't deserve to suffer like this, so we let him go.

I sent an email to the former vet office informing them of Spock's passing and all of the things that they should have brought to my attention. Maybe it was not necessary to send them that email but as we process grief like this I know anger is one of those phases. I also let them know that I would not be returning back to them with my other cat. She deserves better as did Spock.

Now my Luna is left coping with the loss of her brother. She seems ok so far though more vocal than usual. I sometimes feel as though she is almost asking me "where is Spock?" I let her smell me after we let him go and also showed her his empty cat carrier. I am not sure she understood of course.

My question is should we be thinking of getting her a buddy again?

We have 2 dogs also but they tend to mostly ignore her. Maybe it's too early and I am just trying to fill a void. I know when I lost a previous cat, it took me 3 months before I was able to adopt again which were these two, Spock and Luna.

Any words of wisdom is appreciated!

Here was the last pic I took of them together and of Spock.

I am so sorry about your baby!
Boy, that makes me mad about the incompetence of the vet. We have had many stupid dxs or missed dxs in our 40 year cat history. Good for you pointing out to them all the screw ups. You likely will save some other person such heartache.
Wish I had some wisdom to pass along. ((Hugs))

 

[Kflowers]

I've found that cats do intense grieving for 40 days then it starts to ease back slowly. just make certain she's eating and drinking. Go out of your way to pick her up and hold her, don't wait for her to come to you.

Be aware that the old vet owes you Luna's records, all of them, copies of every single page, not just a list of her vaccinations. They are yours. You may have to actually go to their office to get them. If they don't send them to your house, so you can inspect them, go to their office and wait for them to be copied. They may charge a fee. All things considered, I would go through her files and be sure that every year you've taken her to them is accounted for.

 

[Margot Lane]

OK in this case, I have zero compassion for this particular vet. They should have seen this, or mentioned it, and I am just furious. Do NOT however, blame yourself for any inadequacies your vet has…honestly if were me I might even post a review somewhere about this person…it might save another IBD kitty. What a sweet face…I am so glad you have Luna by your side to love & to help ease grief.
I have only ever been a one kitty person, so cannot advise you of a new kitty for Luna. But love that you are so good about “being there“ for her: it shows what a great cat owner you are!

 

[Margot Lane]

PS: I wonder if it is possible to do a “test run” of a lil kitty, to find out how she might react, possibly from someone who is sponsoring a kitty? It might be too soon, as well.

 

[stephanie junca]

Thank you for your comments! I have been going through periods of anger the past few days because of all the missed opportunities with making Spock feel better. The previous diagnosis was just that he was old and had dementia. Very infuriating. But, Yes, I will be sure to get everything they have on my cat Luna. They did send me everything from Spock's records previously where I saw notes in the bloodwork pointing out issues but then writing a diagnosis of old age behavior. What?! It truly makes no sense! We also take our dogs there and I am currently researching other vets to switch them to. One of my dog's has epilepsy and I have to take him to a specialist for his care. Probably should have been a red flag there that this vet is not good at diagnostics. My husband keeps reminding me that unfortunately this is all in hindsight and that we can't go backwards only forwards.

 

[Kflowers]

Not every vet school is as good as the best. Not every student pays attention. We got one stunning diagnose once ... Anything that begins with old dogs or old cats, or old anything has this whatever happen should be viewed with suspicion. For one thing old animals don't get anemic for no reason other than age. THERE IS A REASON.

Spock is free from pain. You are protecting your other animals. Even if you can't go back in time, your anger is a valid emotion and deserves respect. Sit with it, work it out, forgive yourself for believing the vet, forgive yourself for not knowing more vet medicine. With Spock's records you might consult a lawyer. Medical things are very difficult to prove, even human hospitals work hard to keep things and actions to themselves. Lawyer is a hard path. Keep his records, make copies and put in a safe place in case you want to do something later. Remember it's almost impossible to prove who said what or didn't say what.

Know that Spock would never hold it against you to have believed the vet and he was happy in your care and in love and still is.

 

[Maria Bayote]

I am very sorry for your loss.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Spock, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Know this, because Spock knows this...you did the very best you knew for him at the time. Now, you are moving to make the remaining furbabies in your care safer. More than this, you cannot do. No guilt, only a sad, sad lesson learned. Ask. Question, always question. And we so rarely learn this until we are slapped in the face (and the heart) with it. But there is no blame to yourself.

Spock lived, breathed and had his being wrapped in your love, and wrapped in your love, he took his first step through the Gate between This Adventure and our Next Great Adventure. Now, from his home in That Place Where All Things Are Known, he sends his love, translated and purified into Love, back to walk beside you down through all your days. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.

 

[stephanie junca]

Thanks again everyone for your comments ...

I got my other cat's records yesterday morning and read through it with a fine-tooth comb. Luckily nothing that I didn't already know was in there. She was being seen by a different vet in that practice while Spock was being seen by I guess the most available vet at that practice since I kept going in with him on short notice. I can see now why he was the most available vet there :|...

I had a weird thing happen last night though I am still not sure if I imagined it or not. At night we walk our dogs around our neighborhood before bedtime. And, Spock would always go to sit in our bay window to watch for us. Then we would essentially tuck our dogs in when we got back with Spock coming to sit in my lap. We would always do this in the dark with just a hall light on to make the pets more sleepy... these are our kids so yes we treat them like that haha... So, last night we went through our usual routine and I was sitting next to my dog with him falling asleep. Like I said Spock would usually sit in my lap while my dog was falling asleep next to me. Well, all of the sudden a white little thing flew in my face over and over. It made absolutely no sound and I swatted at it thinking it was a bug at first. It flew by my face again and then disappeared. Then all of the sudden my dog sat up and stared at my husband like he had something on his face. He kept sniffing at him really hard and was just fixated on him. It was really bizarre. My husband said maybe that was Spock?

I have experienced white orbs before, so I am not a stranger to this phenomenon. But, I also feel like I am a skeptic and not sure what I saw now. I would like to believe that is Spock letting me know he is with us in spirit. I was finally able to sleep better last night after that too. Just thought I would share.

 

[di and bob]

I believe it was Spock letting you know he was OK. When my own Chrissy sent us that sideways shooting star when we asked how she was it was all-consuming and all believable. then time goes by and the doubts set in. But I will not let them take away from me that feeling of joy and proof she was alright......
Do not doubt. To have faith means you believe in something you cannot see. Love is one of those things. It is like the wind, you cannot see it except for what it does to other things, but you know it exists, it is there. Spock's soul is still tied to your own and always will be. His 'essence' will always surround you. He is at peace because of your love, he will always hold it dear.
Do not dwell on his end and all that cannot be changed. It is fruitless. Instead, dwell on what he shared with you, what he brought into your life, it means so much more.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Give that little girl a kiss from me, and let her help you through your grief. it takes a long time to heal a broken heart. Bless you, for loving that sweet boy so much.......RIP precious Spock. You will be dearly missed, you will always have a secure spot in loving hearts. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Oh, I'd bet it was Spock, just telling you that he is FINE now. What a lovely gift to you that was!

 

[strider rose]

sorry for your loss hun

 

[Purr-fect]

My question is should we be thinking of getting her a buddy again?

We have 2 dogs also but they tend to mostly ignore her. Maybe it's too early and I am just trying to fill a void. I know when I lost a previous cat, it took me 3 months before I was able to adopt again which were these two, Spock and Luna.

Any words of wisdom is appreciated!

Here was the last pic I took of them together and of Spock.

If Spock and Luna were close, consider getting a short term foster cat. If it works out well with Luna, then try and keep the foster cat or adopt a permanent cat of similar age and sex.

 

[stephanie junca]

If Spock and Luna were close, consider getting a short term foster cat. If it works out well with Luna, then try and keep the foster cat or adopt a permanent cat of similar age and sex.

Thanks for your response. They had a typical brother/sister relationship. Before Spock got really sick, they would play and wrestle every morning and then nap in a sunny spot near each other for a few hours. But, then there were times when they would actually fight especially when Luna wanted her space and Spock wanted attention from her. Luna has always been more independent while Spock was your typical lap cat who would force his way onto your lap whether you were ready for him or not hah. We have been thinking she might be ok as a single cat as I play with her multiple times throughout the day now with some visits to our cat grass patch in our back deck.

 

[Purr-fect]

If she and the dogs are coping, I would leave well enough alone.

Also see how you are managing. You might feel as I did, that I had to fill the empty hole in me when our little motu passed away, or you might need time. I think you will know what is right for you and your family, as time unfolds.

You have my condolences. Its a terrible thing to loose a beloved pet.