I have had Gus since he was days old. He was the runt of his litter and wasn't expected to survive cause he was so sickly. I was determined to save him though and he went everywhere with me. Over the next few months he outgrew his two sisters and became the Alpha male of the family. He and I were inseparable. He was more dog than cat. Everyone in the house loved him because he was so friendly and outgoing and curious about everything yet skittish at the same time when it came to sounds like motorcycles or big rigs from outside. We would take him to the cottage where we would take him for walks on his leash. Chasing the chipmunks was his favourite pastime while we were there. Without warning two weeks ago I came down to find him staring off and just looking uncomfortable. I knew something was wrong. I took him to the vet immediately. Nothing physically showed but blood tests showed a low red blood cell count so they sent his bloodwork for a pancreas test. Next day it came back positive. We treated him as required and started to adjust his diet accordingly. They recommended an ultrasound in case a mass was creating a blockage of some form which is why the pancreas attack occcurred so suddenly. I agreed. Three days later I received word he had a significant mass between his large and small intestine and the lymph nodes were swollen. Chemo was a option or just wait it out for anywhere between weeks and months. It was obvious he was already in pain. He wasn't interacting with me or his siblings like normal, he wasn't eating much and he was sleeping more than he should be for a 9 year old cat. My husband and I made the difficult decision not to allow him to be in pain or have the quality of life he should be having. Going to the clinic stresses him out immensely, so we found a Dr who would come to our home. It was quick and nearly painless and he died in my arms. Getting over this though has been the hardes thing I have ever dealt with. Gus was involved in every aspect of my life and I was his. I feel so lost and empty without him. The grief I feel is overwhelming. I'm fine and then I just lose it and breakdown crying. I'm even on sedatives to try to help me to no avail/change. My doctor pulled me out of work. Due to the meds I can't drive. My whole world has been turned upside down. He was so young.