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- Nov 16, 2019
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Last week I lost my beautiful cat Jovie due to complications from a liver disease (she developed severe and sudden respiratory problems in combination with Fatty Liver Disease). She was only about 5 years old.
I think my grief is magnified by the sudden and traumatic nature of her death. Seeing her in the hospital each day as her condition worsened broke my heart. But I still had hope until the very end, when the doctor told me she had a collapsed lung and would probably pass within a day. It was a very hard decision, but with the advice from the vet, I chose to let her go peacefully through euthanasia. I knew that the liver condition was serious but I had hope in the treatment. Based on the information I had, I expected her to survive. After she passed, I asked the vet to help me understand what had happened. She said it was likely Jovie had a bowel disease, possibly IBS, which caused her to stop eating. Then the liver disease prompted inflammation throughout her entire system, and eventually her respiratory system. This gave me a little comfort because I was dealing with extreme guilt knowing that she had Fatty Liver disease, which is caused by not eating. She was an overweight cat and I was always looking for ways to help her lose weight, so when she stopped eating I let it go for over a week and didn’t think it would cause much harm. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for that.
She was my baby. I adopted her from the shelter 4 years ago and knew immediately that she was loving and smart. We bonded very quickly because she slept with me in my room each night. From then on she was my cat, always sticking by my side and looking for me. Sometimes she would just stare at me, probably curious about what I would do next. It was the cutest thing. She was a “people cat” and always wanted to be with people. She never liked to be in a room alone. She was so smart, confident, and sociable. She would start purring immediately when being petted. She had long fluffy fur and was so soft. She was also an exceptionally large cat, which I loved because it made her unique. Every normal sized cat looked tiny to me after getting her. She also had a habit of licking people’s hands and faces, one of her little quirks. Her and I often exchanged “slow blinks” letting each other know that we loved each other. Every morning when she noticed I was awake she would walk from the foot of the bed where she was sleeping and sit on top of me, waiting for love and cuddles.
I miss everything about her. The way she felt and even the way she smelled. I haven’t been able to move or get rid of any of her stuff yet. Or clean. It’s too hard to accept that she’s gone and to let her go. I have dreams every night about her, that she’s somehow still here and survived. It’s really hard dealing with this loss. It just feels so wrong because she should have had more time. More life together with me to enjoy. I try to have hope that she’s in a better place and that I’ll see her again, but honestly this trauma has caused me to question my faith and whether there is an afterlife. I’ve spent a lot of time in the last few days researching near death experiences and philosophies on life. I’ve always believed in God but I don’t know why he would create such a beautiful and pure creature only to have it die in such a painful and premature way. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I know that as humans we simply don’t have the answers yet. I just know that I loved my cat Jovie and now she’s gone.![Frown :( :(](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
I think my grief is magnified by the sudden and traumatic nature of her death. Seeing her in the hospital each day as her condition worsened broke my heart. But I still had hope until the very end, when the doctor told me she had a collapsed lung and would probably pass within a day. It was a very hard decision, but with the advice from the vet, I chose to let her go peacefully through euthanasia. I knew that the liver condition was serious but I had hope in the treatment. Based on the information I had, I expected her to survive. After she passed, I asked the vet to help me understand what had happened. She said it was likely Jovie had a bowel disease, possibly IBS, which caused her to stop eating. Then the liver disease prompted inflammation throughout her entire system, and eventually her respiratory system. This gave me a little comfort because I was dealing with extreme guilt knowing that she had Fatty Liver disease, which is caused by not eating. She was an overweight cat and I was always looking for ways to help her lose weight, so when she stopped eating I let it go for over a week and didn’t think it would cause much harm. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for that.
She was my baby. I adopted her from the shelter 4 years ago and knew immediately that she was loving and smart. We bonded very quickly because she slept with me in my room each night. From then on she was my cat, always sticking by my side and looking for me. Sometimes she would just stare at me, probably curious about what I would do next. It was the cutest thing. She was a “people cat” and always wanted to be with people. She never liked to be in a room alone. She was so smart, confident, and sociable. She would start purring immediately when being petted. She had long fluffy fur and was so soft. She was also an exceptionally large cat, which I loved because it made her unique. Every normal sized cat looked tiny to me after getting her. She also had a habit of licking people’s hands and faces, one of her little quirks. Her and I often exchanged “slow blinks” letting each other know that we loved each other. Every morning when she noticed I was awake she would walk from the foot of the bed where she was sleeping and sit on top of me, waiting for love and cuddles.
I miss everything about her. The way she felt and even the way she smelled. I haven’t been able to move or get rid of any of her stuff yet. Or clean. It’s too hard to accept that she’s gone and to let her go. I have dreams every night about her, that she’s somehow still here and survived. It’s really hard dealing with this loss. It just feels so wrong because she should have had more time. More life together with me to enjoy. I try to have hope that she’s in a better place and that I’ll see her again, but honestly this trauma has caused me to question my faith and whether there is an afterlife. I’ve spent a lot of time in the last few days researching near death experiences and philosophies on life. I’ve always believed in God but I don’t know why he would create such a beautiful and pure creature only to have it die in such a painful and premature way. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I know that as humans we simply don’t have the answers yet. I just know that I loved my cat Jovie and now she’s gone.
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