Lost my beloved Calico

Jovie’s Mom

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Last week I lost my beautiful cat Jovie due to complications from a liver disease (she developed severe and sudden respiratory problems in combination with Fatty Liver Disease). She was only about 5 years old.
I think my grief is magnified by the sudden and traumatic nature of her death. Seeing her in the hospital each day as her condition worsened broke my heart. But I still had hope until the very end, when the doctor told me she had a collapsed lung and would probably pass within a day. It was a very hard decision, but with the advice from the vet, I chose to let her go peacefully through euthanasia. I knew that the liver condition was serious but I had hope in the treatment. Based on the information I had, I expected her to survive. After she passed, I asked the vet to help me understand what had happened. She said it was likely Jovie had a bowel disease, possibly IBS, which caused her to stop eating. Then the liver disease prompted inflammation throughout her entire system, and eventually her respiratory system. This gave me a little comfort because I was dealing with extreme guilt knowing that she had Fatty Liver disease, which is caused by not eating. She was an overweight cat and I was always looking for ways to help her lose weight, so when she stopped eating I let it go for over a week and didn’t think it would cause much harm. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for that.

She was my baby. I adopted her from the shelter 4 years ago and knew immediately that she was loving and smart. We bonded very quickly because she slept with me in my room each night. From then on she was my cat, always sticking by my side and looking for me. Sometimes she would just stare at me, probably curious about what I would do next. It was the cutest thing. She was a “people cat” and always wanted to be with people. She never liked to be in a room alone. She was so smart, confident, and sociable. She would start purring immediately when being petted. She had long fluffy fur and was so soft. She was also an exceptionally large cat, which I loved because it made her unique. Every normal sized cat looked tiny to me after getting her. She also had a habit of licking people’s hands and faces, one of her little quirks. Her and I often exchanged “slow blinks” letting each other know that we loved each other. Every morning when she noticed I was awake she would walk from the foot of the bed where she was sleeping and sit on top of me, waiting for love and cuddles.

I miss everything about her. The way she felt and even the way she smelled. I haven’t been able to move or get rid of any of her stuff yet. Or clean. It’s too hard to accept that she’s gone and to let her go. I have dreams every night about her, that she’s somehow still here and survived. It’s really hard dealing with this loss. It just feels so wrong because she should have had more time. More life together with me to enjoy. I try to have hope that she’s in a better place and that I’ll see her again, but honestly this trauma has caused me to question my faith and whether there is an afterlife. I’ve spent a lot of time in the last few days researching near death experiences and philosophies on life. I’ve always believed in God but I don’t know why he would create such a beautiful and pure creature only to have it die in such a painful and premature way. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I know that as humans we simply don’t have the answers yet. I just know that I loved my cat Jovie and now she’s gone. :(
 

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will2002

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In my almost 67 years on this old planet I have lost kittens and cats of all ages, and for every reason there is I suppose. It NEVER gets any less difficult to process ones thoughts, when one of these events occur. Loosing a sweet, playful, and happy five year old girl so suddenly is especially tough, and I am so sorry for your loss.

It's my belief that your Jovie belongs with the Angles now. She is resting easy and happily walks, runs, and plays with them now, waiting for you to join her there when your time is at hand. I believe she knows you had her best interest in your heart with every decision that you made for her, so don't beat yourself up wondering if you could have done something differently of better. It serves no purpose what so ever, other than to make you feel bad.

You may not think so just now, but there will be happy days again. It takes time, and for some of us, it takes a lot of time! Everyone deals with this kind of loss in different ways. I'm sure you will find your way. God be with you, for now and always.
 

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We just lost our baby boy Cashew on October 21. He was only 4.5. He had what ultimately was found to be lymphoma. Like you, the guilt overwhelms me at times, although I know we did the best we could with the information we had. We saw so many specialists, so many tests, procedures, we did everything until there was nothing left to do.

Cashew was adopted along with Walnut, his litter-mate. They brought so much joy to us and each other. As time has passed, my grief has changed from just losing Cashew himself, to losing the idea of Walnut and Cashew as a pair.

I can tell you I don't cry all day, everyday anymore. In fact most of our days are once again moving along and happy, living our new life with just Walnut (whom we also love so dearly). But every-night I do get that wave of grief, reminding me that Cashew is gone. Gone. Our sweet little guy, that we only had the chance to love for about 4 years. I don't know how to express in this post how much I loved him, but I did.

It's not fair and it sucks. It's tragic to lose a cat/pet at such a young age. We've lost pets that we've loved tremendously before, but they lived to a nice old age.
Cashew's death has affected more than any of the others. I don't think I will ever really stop grieving completely, but rather grieve less as time goes by. And learn to live with it.

We will get through this, I promise.
 
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Jovie’s Mom

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In my almost 67 years on this old planet I have lost kittens and cats of all ages, and for every reason there is I suppose. It NEVER gets any less difficult to process ones thoughts, when one of these events occur. Loosing a sweet, playful, and happy five year old girl so suddenly is especially tough, and I am so sorry for your loss.

It's my belief that your Jovie belongs with the Angles now. She is resting easy and happily walks, runs, and plays with them now, waiting for you to join her there when your time is at hand. I believe she knows you had her best interest in your heart with every decision that you made for her, so don't beat yourself up wondering if you could have done something differently of better. It serves no purpose what so ever, other than to make you feel bad.

You may not think so just now, but there will be happy days again. It takes time, and for some of us, it takes a lot of time! Everyone deals with this kind of loss in different ways. I'm sure you will find your way. God be with you, for now and always.
Thank you so much. Your words give me hope ❤
 
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Jovie’s Mom

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We just lost our baby boy Cashew on October 21. He was only 4.5. He had what ultimately was found to be lymphoma. Like you, the guilt overwhelms me at times, although I know we did the best we could with the information we had. We saw so many specialists, so many tests, procedures, we did everything until there was nothing left to do.

Cashew was adopted along with Walnut, his litter-mate. They brought so much joy to us and each other. As time has passed, my grief has changed from just losing Cashew himself, to losing the idea of Walnut and Cashew as a pair.

I can tell you I don't cry all day, everyday anymore. In fact most of our days are once again moving along and happy, living our new life with just Walnut (whom we also love so dearly). But every-night I do get that wave of grief, reminding me that Cashew is gone. Gone. Our sweet little guy, that we only had the chance to love for about 4 years. I don't know how to express in this post how much I loved him, but I did.

It's not fair and it sucks. It's tragic to lose a cat/pet at such a young age. We've lost pets that we've loved tremendously before, but they lived to a nice old age.
Cashew's death has affected more than any of the others. I don't think I will ever really stop grieving completely, but rather grieve less as time goes by. And learn to live with it.

We will get through this, I promise.
Thank you. I am so sorry for your loss of a young pet as well. I know it wouldn’t make the pain any less if she were older and it was her time, but at least it would make it easier to accept. Sending hugs.
 

Maria Bayote

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What a beautiful cat Jovie was.

I am so sincerely sorry for her passing. May your happy memories together bring you even a bit of consolation in this time of grief. You gave her the best years of her life, which she eternally carries in her heart.

Until you meet again.
 

Tik cat's mum

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Jovie was so beautiful. I can see she was truly loved. It's hard to lose them young I know my boy Tik was 2 years old when we had to make the decision to send him over the bridge. At time's it was so hard It felt like I couldn't breath. But the pain does ease with time I try to remember all the funny things he did. I too believe in the afterlife and that we'll meet again and yes like you I felt angry it's allowed it's part of grieving. Please give it time the pain will ease RIP sweet Jovie. :alright:
 

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I know how hard it is to lose those precious little ones way too early, it never gets any easier, and it never will. But time goes on and we have to go on with it, never forgetting our grief but learning to live with it. Adjusting our lives to not having them in it, eventually filling that hole in our lives in time by realizing that life will forever go forward and although there is a time for grieving, there is also many wonders and joys yet to be revealed and experienced. Cats live minute by minute, they enjoy life to the fullest, they are stoic and give out their love freely and wholly when they finally accept another into their heart. I wish we all could be like them. As we would would want for them if we were the first to go, so they want for us. That is love. Not to forever be paralyzed with grief, and living in a hell of our own making, but to go forward in life and fill that emptiness with more love, because they taught us how wonderful a love like that can be. That is their gift to us, the legacy they leave us when they go.....
You loved that pracious girl enough to come tell us about her. To share your pain so we can hopefully take some of it away and make your burden lighter by acknowledging that pain and crying with you for your loss. No one in the whole world will know exactly what you shared with that sweet girl, it is unique to you and her, it is yours alone. But we have loved and lost too, our own unique loves and we can empathize with you at this time., because we have lost too. We are here to tell you that although it never goes away, time will soften the edges and make it more bearable to live with. The bond you have with Jovie can never be broken, she will forever be as close as your thoughts and prayers. "Death cannot take that which never dies" because love is spiritual, thus eternal. You will have feelings of guilt and profound sadness, because that is what grief brings. Just don't let it take over your life. Just as Jovie lived, simply and with enjoyment, giving as much as she was taking in, so she wants for you. Each and every day will bring a miniscule amount of lessening of your pain, time is one of the only things that helps with grief. To help you enter back into the world of the living, to know with certainty that although the pain is unbearable right now, having known and shared your life with that sweet girl is one of the most treasured things in your life. To have never met her at all would have been unthinkable.
My thoughst and prayers are with you both. I pray your precious memories of happier times will eventually bring you comfort instead of tears. Take care of yourself, your sweet girl is safe and at peace because she has your love. She lives on through you now, because she is a part of your very soul, take care of yourself....RIP beautiful Jovie. You will be dearly missed, you will forever share a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again...
 

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I am sorry for your loss, she was a real sweetheart and it hurts so badly that you too feel as if you will die and really don't care if you do, but that is the grief that has ahold of you and it will play many mental and physical games until you work your way through it, and unfortunately there is no way to speed it up, you just have to endure the pain and it slowly will dissipate and you will start to feel better but it does take a long time.

I was told about Holy Basil years ago when Sebastian passed away and it does help, it lets you deal with the stress better, you know it is still there but you can handle it with a clearer mind.

I am so sorry that you lost your little girl, you did all that you could but sometimes these bad things just happen, they just do......but I know that she is fine now just fine, happy and healthy again, and when you see her one day down the line they will be tears of joy not sadness and it will be wonderful again.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless.......:alright: :grouphug2::rbheart:
 
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Jovie’s Mom

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I know how hard it is to lose those precious little ones way too early, it never gets any easier, and it never will. But time goes on and we have to go on with it, never forgetting our grief but learning to live with it. Adjusting our lives to not having them in it, eventually filling that hole in our lives in time by realizing that life will forever go forward and although there is a time for grieving, there is also many wonders and joys yet to be revealed and experienced. Cats live minute by minute, they enjoy life to the fullest, they are stoic and give out their love freely and wholly when they finally accept another into their heart. I wish we all could be like them. As we would would want for them if we were the first to go, so they want for us. That is love. Not to forever be paralyzed with grief, and living in a hell of our own making, but to go forward in life and fill that emptiness with more love, because they taught us how wonderful a love like that can be. That is their gift to us, the legacy they leave us when they go.....
You loved that pracious girl enough to come tell us about her. To share your pain so we can hopefully take some of it away and make your burden lighter by acknowledging that pain and crying with you for your loss. No one in the whole world will know exactly what you shared with that sweet girl, it is unique to you and her, it is yours alone. But we have loved and lost too, our own unique loves and we can empathize with you at this time., because we have lost too. We are here to tell you that although it never goes away, time will soften the edges and make it more bearable to live with. The bond you have with Jovie can never be broken, she will forever be as close as your thoughts and prayers. "Death cannot take that which never dies" because love is spiritual, thus eternal. You will have feelings of guilt and profound sadness, because that is what grief brings. Just don't let it take over your life. Just as Jovie lived, simply and with enjoyment, giving as much as she was taking in, so she wants for you. Each and every day will bring a miniscule amount of lessening of your pain, time is one of the only things that helps with grief. To help you enter back into the world of the living, to know with certainty that although the pain is unbearable right now, having known and shared your life with that sweet girl is one of the most treasured things in your life. To have never met her at all would have been unthinkable.
My thoughst and prayers are with you both. I pray your precious memories of happier times will eventually bring you comfort instead of tears. Take care of yourself, your sweet girl is safe and at peace because she has your love. She lives on through you now, because she is a part of your very soul, take care of yourself....RIP beautiful Jovie. You will be dearly missed, you will forever share a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again...
Thank you so much for your thoughtful words. I agree that I wish I could be more like cats in that they live for the moment - it’s so true! Jovie had hard times in her life but she always bounced back until the very end when it was too much for her. I will always admire her strength.
 
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Jovie’s Mom

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I am sorry for your loss, she was a real sweetheart and it hurts so badly that you too feel as if you will die and really don't care if you do, but that is the grief that has ahold of you and it will play many mental and physical games until you work your way through it, and unfortunately there is no way to speed it up, you just have to endure the pain and it slowly will dissipate and you will start to feel better but it does take a long time.

I was told about Holy Basil years ago when Sebastian passed away and it does help, it lets you deal with the stress better, you know it is still there but you can handle it with a clearer mind.

I am so sorry that you lost your little girl, you did all that you could but sometimes these bad things just happen, they just do......but I know that she is fine now just fine, happy and healthy again, and when you see her one day down the line they will be tears of joy not sadness and it will be wonderful again.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless.......:alright: :grouphug2::rbheart:
Thank you so much. What is Holy Basil? I haven’t heard of it.
 

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Rest you gentle, Jovie, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Ah, Sweetie...gone too soon. But where there is love, an eternity together would not be long enough. This is what I know, to the depths of my being, though, it is that love does not die, it only changes form and continues on, still Love. And Love abides. Always and forever, Love abides. The very best part of Jovie, her love for you, is now translated and purified into Love. And it abides. Pay attention to those dreams. Jovie is reaching out to tell you that she is fine, that her Love for you is with you always, and that you will see her again.
 

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Thank you so much. What is Holy Basil? I haven’t heard of it.
It's an herb and it is called an "adaptogen" which means that it helps balance you. It is available at health food stores but make sure it is Holy basil not just regular basil. It also helps strengthen the immune system.
 
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Jovie’s Mom

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Thank you again everyone for your compassion and understanding. Tonight is especially hard for me. I’ve just barely started going through her stuff and I’m already in tears. Feelings of guilt are strong and I’m not sure how to overcome that. I’ve been trying to push those thoughts out of my mind but I can’t help thinking that all of this could have been avoided if I had been more vigilant with her health and took her in earlier when I noticed she had stopped eating. I know that none of it matters now but I so wish that I could go back in time. I wish I didn’t have to learn this lesson, this mistake that cost my baby’s life. I’d give so much to have her back. The only consolation is that I’m holding on to hope that she’s happier now in heaven :(
 

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Please don't blame yourself you was doing everything you could to help your Jovie. I too felt guilty when I let my boy cross over but we have to remember we did it out of love. I'm sure they knew that and they are no longer suffering. They are playing with the angels now.:alright:
 

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I miss everything about her. The way she felt and even the way she smelled. I haven’t been able to move or get rid of any of her stuff yet. Or clean. It’s too hard to accept that she’s gone and to let her go. I have dreams every night about her, that she’s somehow still here and survived. It’s really hard dealing with this loss. It just feels so wrong because she should have had more time. More life together with me to enjoy. I try to have hope that she’s in a better place and that I’ll see her again, but honestly this trauma has caused me to question my faith and whether there is an afterlife. I’ve spent a lot of time in the last few days researching near death experiences and philosophies on life. I’ve always believed in God but I don’t know why he would create such a beautiful and pure creature only to have it die in such a painful and premature way. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I know that as humans we simply don’t have the answers yet. I just know that I loved my cat Jovie and now she’s gone. :(
I took our eldest cat to the vet clinic yesterday for what I was sure was a returning infection, which got sorted out just fine last time. I assured her everything was going to be fine and we'd be back home in a few hours. It turned out her thyroid was very ill instead. I buried her with my own hands less than 20 hours ago.

Right now it feels like there's a gaping big hole in my chest. I understand your feelings. Take it one hour and one day at a time. Try to spend time with family and friends. It looks like you did everything you could. It just wasn't meant to be.
 
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