Lost 6 month old kitten to FIP

MojoTuxedo

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I had to put my 6 month old kitten to sleep because of FIP. He stopped eating, had jaundice, fluid in his abdomen that eventually spilled everywhere else under his skin, he was vomiting, and couldn't even walk or lift up his head.
I feel really bad because I can't feel emotions like normal people and I stopped feeling sad about it after two days. I know I miss him but I can't feel anything about him anymore.
I also have clinical depression and severe anxiety so most of the time I am either really panicked and worried or feeling nothing (emotionally numb).
 

Mamanyt1953

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Sweetie...we all process emotions differently. You know you miss him. That's all that matters. Don't compare yourself to others. Within your OWN ability to process and handle emotion, your loss is no less than anyone else's. You loved him while he was here, you did your best for him, you miss him now. He knows that.

Rest you gentle, Tiny Friend, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.
 
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MojoTuxedo

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Thanks everyone for the kind words. Right now I kind of accepted Mojo’s passing and that we couldn’t have done much more.
I just wish I could be a normal person with no problems. 😢
Probably the only good thing that came from my problems is that I don’t have to go to regular school so I have a lot more time to take care of pets.
We got Mojo’s ashes and paw prints today. The ashes came in a mahogany box inside a small bag that says “When we meet again, at the rainbow bridge.”

Also I went to another adoption center, it’s called Second Chance and takes in cats that aren’t adopted from other places after a long time and stuff like that. There were 2 three year old brothers, Benny and Willie who I really liked. Willie looks a little like Mojo 🙂 and both are really nice. Also there was a kitten named Mindy and when I came in the room and petted her she rolled onto her back lol. And there was a kitten named Pickles who kept jumping on me and playing with my hoody strings:D. I usually wear dark colored clothes so there was so much cat hair showing on me after I played with the cats😂
Playing with cats makes me feel less anxious and sad so I ask my mom to go to a cat adoption center almost every day lol.
 
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di and bob

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Yes, helping other cats by being there and letting them know they are not abandoned helps with your own grief. Giving a little of yourself and feeling their gratitude helps to fill the void left by your own little one's passing. Don't feel bad about not 'feeling' anything. It is your heart's way of protecting itself. You loved that little boy and he loved you back. You were there for him when he needed comforting and he accepted it gratefully. You gave him 6 months of love and care and that is what is important, you were there for his whole life, no matter how long that was. You are connected now by the love that binds your souls together. "Death cannot take that which never dies". He will be forever as close as your thoughts and prayers......
You know that sweet little one would never want you to be sad, he loved life so very much and wants the same for you. To honor his sweet memory by passing on the legacy of love he left you, will allow it to grow and spread, will let him live on through you now. So never be afraid to open your heart again. It is the greatest honor ever known to be loved and remembered and to allow that love to pass on. I hope your precious memories of happier times will bring you comfort in the coming years, he will be at peace knowing you will reminisce about him and what he brought to your life.
My heart goes out to you. I know how much he will be missed and the emptiness it brings to your home because I have stood in your shoes. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers......RIP baby Mojo. You will be dearly missed, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 

les26

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I am sorry for your loss of your little friend, sometimes it seems so unfair that some only live a short time while others live long lives, but it is just like people who live to all different ages. But you did the best that you could with what you had, and your kitty is fine now, no more pain, just fine, and yes you will meet again at the "Bridge".

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I am sorry for your loss, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless......:alright::grouphug2::rbheart:
 
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MojoTuxedo

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Since Mojo's passing, I have almost no interest in doing anything but being around cats is pretty much the only thing I have interest in. And my parents don't really understand me so my mom doesn't want to take me to cat shelters that often. She takes me there usually at most once a week. Also I have a slight allergy to dog fur so I have to wear a mask if I go to a shelter that doesn't airtight doors between the dog and cat places. But if the place has good ventilation I'm fine.
 
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MojoTuxedo

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I don’t go to regular school so I don’t know if there is one. But my mom might volunteer at a cat and dog adoption place and children above 12 (which I am) can also come.
 

tarasgirl06

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Since Mojo's passing, I have almost no interest in doing anything but being around cats is pretty much the only thing I have interest in. And my parents don't really understand me so my mom doesn't want to take me to cat shelters that often. She takes me there usually at most once a week. Also I have a slight allergy to dog fur so I have to wear a mask if I go to a shelter that doesn't airtight doors between the dog and cat places. But if the place has good ventilation I'm fine.
:redheartpump:
10325_1225350800374_1427132454_30681171_1792713_s.jpg
Fly free, whole, healthy, and forever Loved, little angel Mojo! Watch over your beloved(s) here on earth until you are reunited in due time. Rest now, beloved.:redheartpump:
Over the years, our family has lost a beloved cat to dry-form FIP at almost 16, and a beloved kitten to wet-form FIP contracted most likely from the vax after she had been completely healthy, at just under 3 months. I have lived with cats all my life, and though I have always had lots of human relationships, I love cats most of all because their love and loyalty are unconditional. So I empathize so much.
IMHO, the very best tribute we can pay our loved ones who have gone on ahead is to share the love in our hearts, and the safe haven we can provide, with other(s) in need. Whether that takes the form of adoption, fostering, working in a shelter/humane society/sanctuary/rescue, and/or advocating online, it helps others and it also helps us.
Because I believe I have Asperger's and because I've always been taken wrong by people in terms of how I show emotion, I empathize on that level as well, and I would offer the thought that there is NO "normal". We're each of us unique. There is no "right" way of processing emotions. Your post conveys to me that you love(d) little Mojo very much. We just aren't in control of everything and things happen that seem absolutely unfair and wrong, all the time. We believe that the most blameless, innocent, sweet and loving of beings should never have ANY bad things happen to them. The work I do every day online advocating for cats brings it brutally home to me that that is not the case in this life on earth. But the love they have for us, and we for them, goes on forever. It doesn't stop because we can no longer see, touch, and hear them. We can share it with others. THEY want us to, I am sure of that. Good on you for wanting to do this!
 
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MojoTuxedo

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:redheartpump:
View attachment 304083Fly free, whole, healthy, and forever Loved, little angel Mojo! Watch over your beloved(s) here on earth until you are reunited in due time. Rest now, beloved.:redheartpump:
Over the years, our family has lost a beloved cat to dry-form FIP at almost 16, and a beloved kitten to wet-form FIP contracted most likely from the vax after she had been completely healthy, at just under 3 months. I have lived with cats all my life, and though I have always had lots of human relationships, I love cats most of all because their love and loyalty are unconditional. So I empathize so much.
IMHO, the very best tribute we can pay our loved ones who have gone on ahead is to share the love in our hearts, and the safe haven we can provide, with other(s) in need. Whether that takes the form of adoption, fostering, working in a shelter/humane society/sanctuary/rescue, and/or advocating online, it helps others and it also helps us.
Because I believe I have Asperger's and because I've always been taken wrong by people in terms of how I show emotion, I empathize on that level as well, and I would offer the thought that there is NO "normal". We're each of us unique. There is no "right" way of processing emotions. Your post conveys to me that you love(d) little Mojo very much. We just aren't in control of everything and things happen that seem absolutely unfair and wrong, all the time. We believe that the most blameless, innocent, sweet and loving of beings should never have ANY bad things happen to them. The work I do every day online advocating for cats brings it brutally home to me that that is not the case in this life on earth. But the love they have for us, and we for them, goes on forever. It doesn't stop because we can no longer see, touch, and hear them. We can share it with others. THEY want us to, I am sure of that. Good on you for wanting to do this!
Thanks. I don’t really know how to say much more than that because I’m not very good with words :ohwell:
 

tarasgirl06

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Thanks. I don’t really know how to say much more than that because I’m not very good with words :ohwell:
You've said all the ones that matter so far, which is that you love(d) Mojo, did your very best for him, and want to continue helping cats. *And cats understand without words.*
 

christfawk

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I am so sorry you and your precious kitten had to endure such a terrible disease.

Everyone experiences grief differently, there is no shame in whatever way you feel now or in the future. Whatever you have to do to keep going after such tragedy is what is right for you.

If paying with kittens is what you need to fill your heart with love, might I suggest becoming a foster home? Fostering kittens is an excellent legacy to leave in the wake of the death of your kitten. You would be able to give a chance for new life to many small souls! I used to rehibailotate feral kittens and it's such a rewarding experience to help them on their path to their forever home. I'd certainly ask the shelter about it.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss, please feel no guilt in the way you grieve.
 
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MojoTuxedo

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I thought about fostering kittens but I don’t think my mom would let us so maybe I could when I’m older. Also there aren’t that many feral cats around my area compared to other places. About 30% in the shelters were feral, 50% transferred from another shelter, and 20% were adopted before but returned or surrendered.
And we got a cat yesterday so I can play with this cat now.
 
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