Long distance relationship

[arie85]

Originally Posted by lunasmom

You can convince yourself that its just your situation and that everything will be kisses and roses when you get there in 10 days, but I really think that things have changed on her end.

You're right, things have changed, but you saw how quickly she changes her mind... the issue won't be changing it again - the issue is now - I WANT TO BE WITH HER AND I CANNNNT

 

[rosiemac]

Ok, so let's think ahead of what might/could happen when you go over to see her, because your obviously uptight about the way she's being with you?.

So, what if when you go she sits you down and tells you face to face that all she want's is to be good friends?. Will you accept that and respect her wishes?.

You've just said yourself how she changes her mind on what she want's with you, that in my book is called playing mind games

Originally Posted by arie85

I DONT CARE if she doesn't know what she wants now

So are you quite happy to put your life on hold until she knows what she wants?

 

[dragoriana]

Arie, if you do not care what she does or doesn't want, why have you come to us for help? We have given you tonnes of advice, and just about everyone has said it from experience and good common sense.

You have just said now you realise you cannot be with her. Have the talk with her sooner or later to get the air cleared before you dig yourself a hole of depression. And if she says what you fear, do not hide away from everyone. We will be here if you want us to give you a shoulder or an ear. These things happen to alot of people, we've all been through cr*p.

 

[okuda]

Originally Posted by arie85

I'm sorry but I simply refuse to accept what you're saying...



Maybe I should repeat it again more clearly...

I agree she's young and she doesn't know what she wants

BUT

What's the problem for me to be there with her?

I DONT CARE if she doesn't know what she wants now

I DONT CARE if she wants to be with her friends now and want to have a good time with them

All I want is to be WITH HER - she can go be with her friends, I just want to know I'm together with her

I can give her a lot of trust and I don't mind what she's doing out there, I just want to BE WITH HER

Darn... you dont know, you simply dont know where I've been in the last 3 years, that's why you can't understand me, I just really can't explain this because it's personal...

Please just read those lines:

Right now we are friends because we're not with each other, there was not enough time to build a strong love between us

When I'll be there things CAN change, for sure!!!

I'm just suffering from waiting until the end of next week, you don't know why I'm waiting and I don't blame you, but this sucks! I wish I could go and be with her already and make the whole thing STOPS

I hate the situation I'm in!!

Then why start this thread if you refuse to accept what EVERYONE is saying. Because each and every person on this thread has giving you the exact same advice?

Read what you have just wrote ...All you are caring about is what YOU want....

 

[arie85]

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

So, what if when you go she sits you down and tells you face to face that all she want's is to be good friends?. Will you accept that and respect her wishes?.

She could say that, but I will be there with her and I will change the way she thinks. I cannot do it from here or over the phone, I must be with her physically.

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

You've just said yourself how she changes her mind on what she want's with you, that in my book is called playing mind games

So are you quite happy to put your life on hold until she knows what she wants?

Yeah, what's so wrong with that?

 

[rosiemac]

Originally Posted by arie85

She could say that, but I will be there with her and I will change the way she thinks. I cannot do it from here or over the phone, I must be with her physically.

How?

If theres something that can't be done, it's to try and change someones feelings.

Originally Posted by arie85

Yeah, what's so wrong with that?

I truly can't believe that someone would put their life on hold for someone who may only want a friendship and nothing more

 

[arie85]

Originally Posted by Dragoriana

Arie, if you do not care what she does or doesn't want, why have you come to us for help? We have given you tonnes of advice, and just about everyone has said it from experience and good common sense.

You have just said now you realise you cannot be with her. Have the talk with her sooner or later to get the air cleared before you dig yourself a hole of depression. And if she says what you fear, do not hide away from everyone. We will be here if you want us to give you a shoulder or an ear. These things happen to alot of people, we've all been through cr*p.

I need your help with what I'm going through now... with my "waiting" or "time spending" for the end of next week... It's driving me nuts. I know she's not the same-way anxious to see me at the end of next week but I do wanna tell her that I want her (not her mom or anyone else) to be the one to pick me up from the airport, otherwise I will go and land in California or whatever I wanna be... I'm waiting for next week like a prisoner who's waiting in his last week in prison to get released (and in some sort of way I've been through something similar)

You keep talking on what she said and it's indeed an important point but I'm kinda sorry for bringing this up. After conclusion I think what's more important is to pass the coming days...

And yes, I know, go hang out with your friends, do something else, call her once a day, not 3 times - I read all your tips, I just can't implement them, dunno why, it's tough for me, especially when what's required here is a "temporary hold" not to pass on or move on - what I need to do now is to pass 9 days (yesterday it was 10) waiting for her... this isn't the same as moving on... this is a wait, please try to understand me

 

[dragoriana]

Originally Posted by arie85

She could say that, but I will be there with her and I will change the way she thinks. I cannot do it from here or over the phone, I must be with her physically.

There is a law in Wicca that we must follow in regards do spell working, and that is 'you cannot alter the human will'

The human will is nature. Whatever someone decides, is what will be. And that is commin sense as well. Saying that you will change the way she thinks, is very controlling, and so, so very WRONG. The way you are speaking, it sounds very unhealthy, and that she may be in a bit of trouble if she actually considers staying with you or considers leaving. Because you seem to have a bit of a clinginess issue.

I'm sorry.

 

[arie85]

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

How?

If theres something that can't be done, it's to try and change someones feelings.

I truly can't believe that someone would put their life on hold for someone who may only want a friendship and nothing more

I L-O-V-E HER

 

[dragoriana]

Originally Posted by arie85

I need your help with what I'm going through now... with my "waiting" or "time spending" for the end of next week... It's driving me nuts. I know she's not the same-way anxious to see me at the end of next week but I do wanna tell her that I want her (not her mom or anyone else) to be the one to pick me up from the airport, otherwise I will go and land in California or whatever I wanna be... I'm waiting for next week like a prisoner who's waiting in his last week in prison to get released (and in some sort of way I've been through something similar)

You keep talking on what she said and it's indeed an important point but I'm kinda sorry for bringing this up. After conclusion I think what's more important is to pass the coming days...

And yes, I know, go hang out with your friends, do something else, call her once a day, not 3 times - I read all your tips, I just can't implement them, dunno why, it's tough for me, especially when what's required here is a "temporary hold" not to pass on or move on - what I need to do now is to pass 9 days (yesterday it was 10) waiting for her... this isn't the same as moving on... this is a wait, please try to understand me

Now seeing this new post, you also seem very confused. You seem desperate for her to love you. One minute you seem angry and are determined to get her to love you, and the next you seem like you have already realised it might be doomed.

You need to spend this waiting time for yourself, do not fret too much over this issue and just let the day come. Busy yourself with chores, work, family, anything other than the thought of her. Otherwise you will kill yourself with stress.

 

[arie85]

Originally Posted by Dragoriana

There is a law in Wicca that we must follow in regards do spell working, and that is 'you cannot alter the human will'

The human will is nature. Whatever someone decides, is what will be. And that is commin sense as well. Saying that you will change the way she thinks, is very controlling, and so, so very WRONG. The way you are speaking, it sounds very unhealthy, and that she may be in a bit of trouble if she actually considers staying with you or considers leaving. Because you seem to have a bit of a clinginess issue.

I'm sorry.

Why are you all viewing those issues darkly?

Usually I'm the one who's being pessimistic about things but not about that - why are you acting so?

 

[arie85]

Originally Posted by Dragoriana

Otherwise you will kill yourself with stress.

I cannot dump this stress, I'm full of it right now, it's so hard

I'm trying, trying to do something but I can't

I have mood for nothing, simply nothing

I don't have a mood to see a move, don't have a mood to go out, don't have a mood to surf the Intrent, hardly have a mood to work on my website

I even thought about using a sports-betting websites to be interested in some Sports games and not her, but none of this is working! nothing attracts me, nothing but her, omg I'm full of obsession I can feel it

 

[okuda]

Nothing is getting thou here. Everyone has been nice and offered such good and kind advice. He is just gonna hear what he wants to and discard the rest. Total waste of time answering.

 

[dragoriana]

Originally Posted by arie85

I L-O-V-E HER

Let me give you an interesting little story. Man meets girl. Girl falls in love with man (girl 19 man 32) girl spends about 3 years chasing after man when they are only friends, he knows damn well how she feels, he also scr*ws around behind her back with 2 women one of whom claimed to be a good friend, almost like a sister. The other one the same age as girl who was only coming interstate to stay over while she met friends...and ended up doing it on the couch because he couldn't keep it in his pants!! Man claims there is nothing wrong with having sex with a friend. Mind you man had his way with an extremely ugly overweight woman who was getting advice from girl about a lovely man she met and she had no idea it was her friend! Man admits he thought for a split second about having it off with girl, but didnt want to ruin friendship, and admits he has commitment issues and doesn't want to hurt girl. Girl has breakdown, girl wants to kill herself, girl meets extremely lovely man only 2 years older, girl cuts dumb man from life, girl gets engaged to nice man and lives happily ever after.

Do NOT C-L-I-N-G.

The end.

 

[rosiemac]

I think weve all given good advice, and we just seem to be going around in circles, so i'll close this thread now.

Good luck though Arie