"Little boy" resident cat not adjusting well to newest cat.

Jodieluv

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Hi all, I have 3 well adjusted, bonded cats, the younger 2, I rescued from my job as kittens, at close to the same time, so they are like brother/sister, the younger male was VERY feral when I caught him , and came from a feral colony I ended up finding in a rarely used equipment barn at my job site, he is an odd little cat, he is a nervous personality, loves to play, sensitive, sometimes he seems to be aggressive/dominate towards other cats ( my 2, and neighborhood cats ) and then other times extremely fearful, and timid.

I have a very small trailer, but on a 300 acre ranch, and about 3/4 of a mile away from closest road, my 3 spend a lot of time inside, moreso in extreme weather, but are free to go out, the younger former feral I referred to above, often spends most of his time out, but due to lack of indoor space I had limited myself to no more than 3 cats.

I continued feeding the feral colony at work, most were totally wild, but there was a male that over almost a years time of feeding, socializing, became very tame, my former boss hated cats, and would shoot them if he had chance, had told me not to feed them, threatened to lock barn up where they were living so I could not care for them, and I was planning on quitting so did not want to leave this male out there, so a while before I quit , I started trying to find home, and a woman said she would take him as barn cat ( I am in a very rural area, and it is VERY hard to find a good inside home, or even barn cat home ) I took him to be neutered, and then to new home, new home was 30 miles from my job, after 3 weeks when I went into barn in morning to feed ferals he was there, he had come 30 miles back over unknown territory, so I took him home to see how he would do, I kind of thought maybe he came back to my job site since it was "home" to him, and that he may try to go back from my place, but he did not try, this was around last November, he became very playful, and did not do bad with 2 of my 3, but my younger male was terrified, and new male started fixating on him, and I saw some play attempts from new male towards resident male , but resident cat would be terrified, and then it seemed that the new male started to be less play , and more aggression, stalking, and even attacking, things were definitely getting worse, and I thought maybe all the hormones were not out of new male yet, I was scared to rehome him, unless I personally knew the person, and that they would care for him well, and keep him confined until he got used to them, or he may try to return again, I even pleaded with cat loving relatives that live hundreds of miles away offering to drive him to them, and none wanted him, so I took him back to my worksite, until I could figure out what to do, and still be able to feed, and check on him, I quit job a couple months later , and could not leave him, so brought him home again, I set up giant kennel to introduce to mine again, and new cat seemed less dominate acting, and very playful still, and seemed to do well with my 2 of my 3, but the younger male was terrified of him ( not sure if he remembered him, there was about 2 months in between first meeting, and 2nd time he came home ) new cat came home 2nd time in early February, so over 2 months ago, he is doing really well with 2 of my 3 cats, but younger male I have been talking about still is acting terrified, and is actually getting worse, disappearing, refusing to eat near new male, panicking if new male gets close, new place I have seen trying to start play, but that makes my younger male even more petrified, and some of the "play" is seeming very targeted, and borderline aggressive, new cat has charged him a few times, that seems very aggressive, versus play.

I am at a loss, I put new cat in the giant kennel at night so my other 3, especially the younger male that seems to be the target can at least get some peace to rest, eat, etc without fear , I let new male out from early morning, to evening, including when i am at work, I want to give it more time, but again , things seem to be getting worse, I thought about totally seperating them again, but that only upset new male, and younger male would not even try to meet him, or interact with him, there is no way I could, or would take him back to my former work, and leave him, but finding someone I could trust to take him is going to be really hard, sorry this is a novel, but lots of background, and a kinda different situation, I had someone suggest bringing them into my place, and blocking the cat door so my younger male has to face my new one without running away, which if he continues to take off, I am afraid nothing will improve, but if i do this forced interaction I know it will freak him out so bad, ( of course if i did this I would be right there to moniter them, and break them up if fight breaks out, has anyone done the forced being together meeting ? Please , no rude/nasty/snarky comments, I will not respond to them, wanting thoughts/advice....thank you if you readcthis far ...
 

danteshuman

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Thank you for taking the cats in!

A trailer is small for 4 cats. I would suggest expanding their territory. This can include lots of shelves for them go havd a kitty highway around your trailer or maybe you could build them a shed? That way the cats have more indoor space.

For your fearful Napoleon cat and somewhat of a bully cat I would suggest a few things. One can you put the bully on prozac? (Trust me if I had known about kitty prozac Dante would have been in it when he was younger!) Two can you try to play with them together (two wand toys), treats just the two of them & wet food as close as the timid ones can take. Three you might want to make it safe from attacks if the timid guy is near you. Dante knew if he jumped on his brother to nip him between the shoulders he got yelled at and clapped at. It didn’t stop all of it but it greatly
 
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Jodieluv

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Thank you for taking the cats in!

A trailer is small for 4 cats. I would suggest expanding their territory. This can include lots of shelves for them go havd a kitty highway around your trailer or maybe you could build them a shed? That way the cats have more indoor space.

For your fearful Napoleon cat and somewhat of a bully cat I would suggest a few things. One can you put the bully on prozac? (Trust me if I had known about kitty prozac Dante would have been in it when he was younger!) Two can you try to play with them together (two wand toys), treats just the two of them & wet food as close as the timid ones can take. Three you might want to make it safe from attacks if the timid guy is near you. Dante knew if he jumped on his brother to nip him between the shoulders he got yelled at and clapped at. It didn’t stop all of it but it greatly
Hi !! Thanks for reply, yes my place is definitely too small, for even 3, that is why I took this one to the barn home I found 30 miles away, never dreaming he would, or could make the journey back, it made my heart sick because I also took a half grown son from this males last litter , and had him neutered and took to same place, they were bonded, so I thought it would make it easier for them, and I do not know what became of his son, the people would not reply when I asked if I could come to check on him, so I just went, they were not home, or did not come to door, so I went out to barn where their introduction kennels were, and no cat food anywhere in sight, the bowl for food/water they said they kept full was empty , and shoved in a corner, around where I live, it is disgusting how most ppl view, and treat cats, I am fortunate where I am that it is pretty private, and way off road, 300 acres, on a creek, so they go in, and out , there is no way with the size of my place that they could be confined, I have been doing the interactive play with the 2 of them, and we go on daily walks, and I try to have them all go, and the newest that is bully does get put in at night to his "room" that way my timid boy never feels he must stay out , especially during night when more danger out, I am going to keep trying, I do not have Prozac, but am seriously thinking about talking to my vet about this, I do have several "natural" calming chews, and liquid, and I have been giving the bully cat some of that, I think it is helping some, if I have to rehome him it will be scary, because I just do not know any "cat people" that will take care of them, or in his case keep him in long enough that he feels comfortable, and will not try to return, if he made it 30 miles, he may try further, the bully cat is really bold, ( probably from being tom cat, and living as a feral ) and also really playful, so sometimes I really cannot tell if it is "aggressive play" or real aggression, I know my timid boy sees it as aggression most of the time.

I had a few others I rehomed from same colony, ones that tamed enough to be at least barn cats, since often that is best case scenario in my area, and only one seemed to end up with good people that made a pet out of it, and cared for it well, I took a grown female, super sweet to people but awful with other cats, ( I tried her here at home with mine for over 4 months, and it was terrible ) to a good friend, that has beautiful farm, well cared for animals, and one of her farm employees quit , and moved out one night, and stole this cat, so I was heart sick, the employee was just a young girl, so I thought god knows where Jasmine is, but fortunately a month, or so later, the young girl found me through Facebook, and said her parents had come from Vermont to come get her, and she took Jasmine back to Vermont, 16 hours away....but I was a bit relieved she was okay, it is crazy....
 

danteshuman

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A real cat fight had blood, yowling & flying fur.

It sounds like your bully is doing what Dante used to do. He would jump on Salem & nip him between the shoulder blades. It was the equivalent of giving him a noogie or a “playful” punch in the arm that gave the victim a dead arm. 🤦🏻‍♀️ It was like a brother bullying a brother. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Now what I learned was Dante attacked his brother when bored or when Salem got in ‘his’ spot. What helped me was giving him outside time with bird feeders hung high. It was like Ritalin for my wee terrorist of doom. 😉

In your case because rehoming him is on your mind; you might want to skip the calming products and go straight to prozac for a limited introduction year. (Then see if you can wean him off it.)
 
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Jodieluv

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A real cat fight had blood, yowling & flying fur.

It sounds like your bully is doing what Dante used to do. He would jump on Salem & nip him between the shoulder blades. It was the equivalent of giving him a noogie or a “playful” punch in the arm that gave the victim a dead arm. 🤦🏻‍♀️ It was like a brother bullying a brother. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Now what I learned was Dante attacked his brother when bored or when Salem got in ‘his’ spot. What helped me was giving him outside time with bird feeders hung high. It was like Ritalin for my wee terrorist of doom. 😉

In your case because rehoming him is on your mind; you might want to skip the calming products and go straight to prozac for a limited introduction year. (Then see if you can wean him off it.)
Hi, sorry for delayed response, things have been crazy for me ( aside from cats ) it is funny , I had a folding lawn chair in my yard, that both my bully, and timid little man were each "claiming" as their own, so that was put away, I have also been giving the bully some natural calming meds to try and help, I have not been to vet yet to get prescription, the bully does excellent with my older sr male, but continues to stalk, and ambush my younger 2 constantly, especially the timid young male I am most concerned about, it seems to be "play" but I am not sure, instead of intervening in the "stalk" a few times to see what would happen, the bully would stalk/charge, but NOT attack, his charge always ends in jump that comes very close to my younger male, but my younger male takes it seriously , and will hiss/growl , and usually slink off quietly, out of my immediate yard area, and often the bully will then scratch something close, or rub, my resident 3 are still my first priority, which includes my younger male, so I am still thinking rehoming for the bully may be necessary, although it will definitely be hard ....
 

danteshuman

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The stalk and jumping nearby is an annoyance not bullying. Your little cat’s response of growling & hissing is telling the bully to leave them alone. All normal. I would tell him no or distract him when he is stalking your little guy.

Please consider the prozac before rehoming! If you return the cat to the pound they will most likely kill him! It would be his third strike!

If you are deadest on rehoming him can you find him a home that has experience dealing with bully cats?
 
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Jodieluv

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The stalk and jumping nearby is an annoyance not bullying. Your little cat’s response of growling & hissing is telling the bully to leave them alone. All normal. I would tell him no or distract him when he is stalking your little guy.

Please consider the prozac before rehoming! If you return the cat to the pound they will most likely kill him! It would be his third strike!

If you are deadest on rehoming him can you find him a home that has experience dealing with bully cats?

Hello, thanks again for reply, the bully was actually never at a shelter, he was in a seldom used equipment barn at my job, along with some other ferals, and "dumped" cats, it is a 400 acre landfill site, so they can scavenge, and hunt some, but my boss hates cats, and given the chance will "dispose" of them, and told me to quit caring for them, etc which of course I still did, but had to be sneaky.
My "baby boy" was an EXTREMELY feral tiny kitten that I caught , and tamed from out there, and his "sister" was another kitten that was clinging to the underside of an old mobile home that was brought in to be demolished, so these 2 have only known me, and are very bonded to me , and scared to death of anyone they do not know,, so there is no way to rehome anyone but the bully, he is a bold personality, and is not scared of much.

I definitely need to try Prozac, or something , are there any non prescription things that work well ? I have been giving a few kinds of calming liquid, and chews that pet stores carry but they do not seem to do a lot, as a side note the 1st attempt to bring him home was about a month after neutering, after he had come back the 30 miles to my jobsite, and he did the stalking/charging, but did actually attack a couple of times, that is when I took him back to my work since I knew he would stay there, and not try to take off, and then a couple months later during a nasty cold snap is when i brought him back to my place, so he could at least be inside until weather broke, that was around 1st part of February, or end of January, I think he may attack , but my baby boy always runs, and leaves the yard area, and then the bully will station himself on what looks like "look out/guard duty" , tonight I had to grab something at home, and go back to front of property to work a horse ( I am on 300 acre ranch ) and as usual , my baby boy was not around, and the bully was inside, looking out window at something, and softly growling, so I look out the direction he is looking, and my baby boy is sitting at edge of tree line , ( along edge of my yard ) facing my place, like he was afraid to approach, I immediately put the bully in his room, and left to go up front , when I came back my baby boy was so relaxed, and actually came up immediately to greet me like he always does, but has NOT been doing with bully around, and loose, I am to start networking with the few cat loving friends, and family I have, some live quite far away, but I would take him to them, just advertising on Facebook groups, etc scare the crap out of me, there was a woman that lived only about 30 miles from me that had her house raided by FBI , she had like 7 Facebook alias, and was taking cats and filming herself torturing, and killing them, and had a following on some kind of social media site, it took them a while to trace her whereabouts, but they finally got her, and then I have had ppl say what great homes a cat will have with them, and then find out they have majorly neglected them, it is so hard..
 

danteshuman

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The calming products never worked on my bully. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Calming products work on something cats. The key word being some.

Rehoming him might work but it would need to be a home that knows how to deal with his issues. It takes a looooooooonnnng time to find the right home for special cases. Whereas prozac would be working by then. My hyper punk was the hyper-eat cat I have ever known. If he had been human he would have been diagnosed with a severe case of ADD! We give people medication for brain imbalances. 🤷🏻‍♀️ On a side note my old man grieved the loss of my punk Dante for a year! So a friendship can occur between your bully & your little boy. At least your bully is stopping a few feet from him. My punk used to jump on his brother & nipped him between the shoulder blades! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ He used to jump on the little old lady and pull out the fur on one side of her back thigh. It is hard when your cat is the a-hole!
 
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