Letting Go Of My Crazy Old Man

[Sylvia Grace]

Back in December my 14 year old cat, Heisenberg, was diagnosed with lymphoma. We've tried everything - chemo, steroids, antibiotics, the whole nine yards. But we were only kicking the can down the road, and now that road has come to an end. Our vet is coming on Friday morning to help him cross the rainbow bridge.

Heisenberg has been in my family since he was one year old, when I was in second grade. He was a rescue. His old owner had kept him in her bedroom since he didn't like the dog, and when she had to move out of state he wanted nothing to do with it. He ran up a tree and refused to come down until after his owner had to leave. My parents heard that her roommate was going to take him to the shelter, and they stepped in and brought him to live with us.

I'm heartbroken. Heisenberg has been in my world for over half my life, and I can't imagine my house without him. He was a central figure in my childhood and has seen me through a ton of physical and mental pain. I wish I could just hug him close and never let go, keep him safe with me forever. I'm not ready to say goodbye!

 

[Furballsmom]

Love on him, then love on him some more.
I'm so very very sorry to hear this, he sounds like an absolutely incredible cat. I'm so glad your parents and you were there for him and that you wrapped your souls around his.
He will be safe, and he will be with you, as you walk your path of life.
My heart is folded around all of you.

 

[les26]

I am so sorry that you will have to part with your friend, but it is the last most heartfelt act of kindness that you can give him, I hope it is peaceful for you all, but yes it just rips your heart out and you feel as if you too will die and don't care if you do, but you did a wonderful thing by taking him in years ago, I am sorry that his Earthly life must come to an end.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I pray it goes smoothly for you all Friday, he knows that you are trying to help him, Lord Bless you all.....

 

[Sylvia Grace]

I just wish I knew for a fact that I'll see him again someday. It's so much easier to say "see you later" than it is to say "goodbye". This cat means so much to me, I can't bear the thought of never holding him or hearing his meow again.

 

[Furballsmom]

I prefer to think that we will see our buddies again

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I know it. To the depths of my being, everything I have seen and observed says that love does not die, it goes on, it abides. But parting with the physical being is so very, very hard. Lighting a candle for you both, for peace and comfort.

 

[Sylvia Grace]

I've always struggled with faith in an afterlife. I want to believe that there is one, but this voice in the back of my mind always brings up the lack of evidence either way. It makes grieving very difficult.

 

[Sylvia Grace]

He's had a very good day so far today! Every time Heisenberg has bright eyes and energy to jump around I question mom's decision to help him over the bridge. He's still very much there and aware of his surroundings, and he's so stoic it's impossible to tell how he's really feeling except for his energy level.

 

[di and bob]

It's very, very hard to believe in something that cannot be proven. But I have witnessed evil so pronounced there HAS to be an opposite. For every action in existence there is a opposite and opposing reaction. Love is another reality that cannot be held or proven in a physical sense, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It just is. Just like faith. When you love someone and care for them as deeply as you do your Heisenberg, there is no end, the love is embedded in your soul and it is eternal.The 'essence' that makes up who Heisenberg is will always surround you, will always be a part of your life's journey. He shared that journey for a little while and will soon follow another path. But this path will forever parallel your own until the day your own path once more crosses his.The bond you have developed over the years can never be taken from you. Use it and your precious memories to bring your broken heart comfort.
There is no way to prepare yourself for what comes, time is the only thing that mends a broken heart.Try to celebrate what that little boy brought into your life, what he shared with you,to have never net him at all would have been tragic. Do not dwell on the end, it brings nothing but heartache, and this is not what he would want for someone he loves so much.
My heart goes out to you, i'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. Give that sweet boy a kiss for me, and just love him as long as you can. You will always be held in his heart, and he will always have a place in yours......

 

[betsygee]

I'm so very sorry. So many of us know how heartbreaking it is to make that decision and it's normal to question whether it's the right thing to let them go. Remember that it's the biggest act of love to help them through that last step of the journey. You may want to check out some of the links in this thread to help you get through this.

You and your family and little Heisenberg are in my thoughts.

 

[Antonio65]

I'm very sorry for your Heisenberg
He's been part of your life, it is natural that you wouldn't let him go. You're not ready, we're never ready. I wasn't ready either, even if I had been waiting for that terrible moment for three months.
Just look him in his eyes, and ask him if he wants to go. His look will tell you when.
I'll be thinking of you on Friday, and be sending you prayers and a kiss to Heisenberg.
Hugs!

 

[Sylvia Grace]

Thank you everyone, that is exactly what I needed to hear!

Today was Heisenberg's last day, and I had a migraine! I'm going to spend the night next to him, but I lost precious time with my baby that I can never get back!

 

[Antonio65]

Thank you everyone, that is exactly what I needed to hear!

Today was Heisenberg's last day, and I had a migraine! I'm going to spend the night next to him, but I lost precious time with my baby that I can never get back!

We lose precious time with our babies every time we are busy with our daily routine, work, school...
Just make the most of what you still have with him, he'll be grateful even for your last hours with him.
My heart is close to you and Heisenberg!

 

[Sylvia Grace]

We're going to have Heisenberg cremated and get his ashes back, but I need some ideas on how to honor his memory. What have you all done?

 

[di and bob]

I have a framed favorite picture of both my little loves right by my bed. I say goodnight to them every night. There is a little glass cat that holds their fur right below. I also have some little statues around the yard and at their gravesites, my favorite is a little angel cat and a tiny cat wind chime that says "Everytime the wind blows I am reminded of you".

 

[Antonio65]

I just have their ashes in small urns, and that's all, nothing else.
I don't think I'll be able to stand on a daily basis something that reminds me of them and awakening the pain every time.

 

[epona]

I think whatever seems right to you will work. The main thing is they are still in your heart. No other memorial is necessary, unless you think of something that is really fitting.

 

[Sylvia Grace]

Has anybody considered or bought a custom stuffed animal of your kitty? I'm thinking about it, but they're expensive so I'd like suggestions on who to go to.

 

[Antonio65]

Has anybody considered or bought a custom stuffed animal of your kitty? I'm thinking about it, but they're expensive so I'd like suggestions on who to go to.

Do you mean to have a toy of a cat similar to your departed cat made to custom?
Well no! I think it'd be scary!

 

[Sylvia Grace]

Do you mean to have a toy of a cat similar to your departed cat made to custom?
Well no! I think it'd be scary!

That's what I was meaning, yes. I can definitely understand the idea being rather creepy. I tend to have a bit of a macabre mindset, so yeah...