Letters to our Cats

[vampiric_conure]

This is where we post what we wish our cats could understand. Me first!


'Dear Puddles. As the new overload of the apartment, I know that you feel you may lay anywhere you wish. But if you decide to lay behind me while I am prepping bird food, you have no right to complain and yowl if I should accidentally stomp on you.

Love, your staff.'

 

[DeesCats]

Dear Long Legs and Colly,

I understand that I have the best lap in the house for taking long naps together on the recliner and that you sometimes enjoy grooming each other but please stop it escalating into a wrestling match with throat holds and bunny kicking each other and me. You both have sharp claws despite keeping your nails trimmed and I don't enjoy it.

Love you both, Dee.

 

[Margot Lane]

Lookit, you don’t HAVE to suffer, you don’t have to be stoic. Just tell me where it hurts. Also, PLEASE tell me what you’d really like for dinner so I don’t have to buy like 3,000 different types of cat food. Thanks.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

Dear Daisy,

You have three scratching posts with multiple surfaces. I've even replaced the rope on them. My chest of drawers with the fabric cover is not a scratching post. Neither is the bit of laminate peeling from my bedside drawer. Also, please don't try to dig holes in me at bedtime. Believe it or not, it hurts.

 

[FeralHearts]

Dear Charlie,

When you give me headbutts and love I think it's fantastic... and while I realize that face piercings are very fashionable these days I really, really do not want an eyebrow piercing, or a nose ring; pretty as they can be. So, if you could please stop trying to make me your fashion statement - that would be awesome.

Love, your humble attendant.


Dear Charlie, Braveheart, and White Label,

Please tell me what you need to keep you healthy so we can stop going to the Doctor every month. Also, if you could tell me what you want to eat, that would be great cause this whole "I'll eat this today, but not tomorrow" and "I'll eat this on "Thursdays but not Tuesdays or Fridays" thing is a bit much lately.

BTW I love you guys very, very much.

Love, your devoted maidservant.

 

[IzzysfureverMom]

Dearest Izzy,
Daddy and I are thinking of getting a parrot. We think this may save our voices. The parrot could say Izzy NOOO!. izzy don't, Izzy stop, Izzy down. That"s bad Izzy.
Maybe the parrot could turn on the bathroom light after you turn it off.
You are the smartest, most athletic, and mischievous cat we have ever had ( daddy just said CRAZY , the word is crazy)
Remember the time I caught you in mid air before you on landed on the hot stove? Or your first Christmas when you ran from the kitchen into the living room and jumped ( or should I say flew) to the top of the 7 ft tree that started swaying like crazy? Kinda of amazing you have not made a trip to the ER ( knock on wood)
Lots and lots of fun times. Everyday is an adventure and possible SURPRISE!
We love you much!!!!
Mommy and Daddy

 

[Tik cat's mum]

Dear Patches, thankyou for being so patient with your younger brother's. And for suckles on my shoulder so I have wet Patches just to remind me you was here first.

Dear Bandit, please stop stealing anything that is on the coffee table, it's not a game because your faster than me. Just because I laughed doesn't mean your off the hook.

Dear Lucky, mama love's your head bumps and purrs but please can you not try to wrestle me when I stroke you just one to many times. Your so soft and furry I can't resist. Your brother's have learned to put up with me doing it just ask them. They'll tell you it's worth the effort.

 

[game misconduct]

mine would be more like what most parents tell their toddlers" finish you dinner" no dessert(treats) until after you eat your dinner

 

[Cat McCannon]

My Dear Lady Silver Belle The Destroyer

Yes, I know you can manipulate gravity at will. It is evident every time you wake me by landing on my chest with the force of a full grown Bengal Tiger.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

My Dear Lady Silver Belle The Destroyer

Yes, I know you can manipulate gravity at will. It is evident every time you wake me by landing on my chest with the force of a full grown Bengal Tiger.

Not to mention their ability to focus 10000000 metric tons into one foot when they're standing on your most vulnerable bits.

 

[vampiric_conure]

Dear Puddles,

Please don't lick my gouache (paint). It's expensive and turns you funny colors on the inside.

Love, your humble underling.

 

[IzzysfureverMom]

Dear Puddles,

Please don't lick my gouache (paint). It's expensive and turns you funny colors on the inside.

Love, your humble underling.

Just be aware that while gouache is considered less toxic then other mediums, you still need to watch for anything with cadmium, lead ( flake white), vermilion, anything with zinc, especially if you use other mediums. The list of toxic colors ( and materials )is extensive.I was fortunate to have a dedicated space, but that is not always possible.Just to be on the safe side maybe keep palette etc sealed in a container away from Puddles.

 

[vampiric_conure]

Just be aware that while gouache is considered less toxic then other mediums, you still need to watch for anything with cadmium, lead ( flake white), vermilion, anything with zinc, especially if you use other mediums. The list of toxic colors ( and materials )is extensive.I was fortunate to have a dedicated space, but that is not always possible.Just to be on the safe side maybe keep palette etc sealed in a container away from Puddles.

I use student grade paint for my practice work. Otherwise, my paints are stored in a critter-proof container Thanks for the reminder, tho!

 

[IzzysfureverMom]

I use student grade paint for my practice work. Otherwise, my paints are stored in a critter-proof container Thanks for the reminder, tho!

I figured you probably did..... because well cats like to get into stuff

 

[vampiric_conure]

I figured you probably did..... because well cats like to get into stuff

That they do! She also likes to park herself in front of the paint palette when I'm working. It makes things awkward.

 

[SueLinda]

This is where we post what we wish our cats could understand. Me first!


'Dear Puddles. As the new overload of the apartment, I know that you feel you may lay anywhere you wish. But if you decide to lay behind me while I am prepping bird food, you have no right to complain and yowl if I should accidentally stomp on you.

Love, your staff.'

Dear Rhett Butler and Penguin,
I, your lowly servant, humbly promise to respond to every beck and call of the two lords of the manor. However, I must convey to you both that lightly coating the floor with litter and decorating the hall with water from your bowls might result in me taking a message.....

 

[IzzysfureverMom]

That they do! She also likes to park herself in front of the paint palette when I'm working. It makes things awkward.

vampiric_conure Oh I am sure she does that.You know what's yours is hers and whats her is still hers.

 

[Furballsmom]

Dear Buddy aka Captain-Jack, please know that just because you are quite simply the most charming creature on the planet Does. Not. Mean. that you get to go outside at the drop of a hat/momentary inattention of one of your human housemates/because you like the challenge.

 

[mani]

Dear Sundar,
My yoga students do love it when you lie next to them during meditation. However they are less keen when you decide to noisily wash your nether-regions.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

Does he also do Cat Yoga?