Leaving Cats Alone Overnight

[Ash16]

I have been spending the night at my boyfriends house most nights, meaning my 2 cats (5 yrs old and 18 yrs old) go without seeing me for most of the day every weekday. I get home from work around 6 and am usually home and hanging out with them until around 8 or 9 at least, and then I won’t see them again until the next day when I get home from work. On weekends I spend pretty much all day with them both days and most weeks I’ll sleep at my house 1-3 nights out of the week. Is this enough time? Should I reduce the amount of time I’m spending at my boyfriends house?

Another factor is that one of my 2 cats (the 5 yr old) stays in my guest bedroom room while I’m away. The room has a window and food and a litter box and tons of toys, but I feel especially bad for her. Her and the older cat don’t get along and that’s been a really difficult process. Ive had the younger one about 6 months and they are finally at least tolerating each other while I’m there, but I still don’t feel comfortable leaving them alone together. It has been really difficult and so much harder than I would’ve ever imagined, but I think my older cat was just so used to it just being me and her all the time and she really doesn’t like all of these changes.

Anyway, what are your thoughts? Do I need to spend more time with them?

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
Bless you for thinking of their welfare!
Here's my thought. What if you spend a little more time with them every other week or so, depending on how you'd want to apply things here;

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

 

[FeebysOwner]

Does your boyfriend get along with the cats? If so, is there any reason why he can't spend a few nights at your place?

 

[Ash16]

My boyfriend just got a kitten about a month ago and he won’t leave that kitten for anything lol. He spends pretty much all of his free time there with her. And he has a much bigger bed than me, so it’s just more comfortable being over there. If it weren’t for the kitten I think I could get him to spend some nights at my house, but that would be totally out of the question for him right now, at least until she gets a little older maybe.

 

[Furballsmom]

That's fine, he needs time with his fur baby, and you, bless your heart, need some time for your babies too so that you can get them comfortable within their house.

Then you can start to work on scent swapping between the two feline households, but it would be good if your crew was more at ease first.

Try some music, there an app called Relax My Cat, and also there's MusicForCats . Com

 

[recurringecho]

As long as they’re not showing signs of any behavioral problems while you’re away or when you return, I wouldn’t worry about it. If you’re more comfortable with it, do you have a friend or relative that can drop in on them maybe once a week?

Providing some kind of ambient sound might help. You can do music like Furball said, or something else. I find my cats like looking at a bird screen saver and running water.

 

[FeebysOwner]

And, if the cats are accustomed to having TV on while you are there, you can get a timer and set your TV to come on for a while when you are gone.

 

[Bird]

Given the situation, and your regular frequent absences, I say, yes, you need to spend more time with your cats. My particular view on this is that your cats should be more of a priority, just as your boyfriend is making his kitten his priority. I'm not suggesting never spending the night away, but I would try to reduce the number of full night absences. Your cats want your company and they want interaction with you. Even just sleeping with you can be comforting to your cats.

 

[Furballsmom]

Ive had the younger one about 6 months and they are finally at least tolerating each other while I’m there, but I still don’t feel comfortable leaving them alone together.

By the way, do you have a way to set up a camera to see what is going on when you're gone?

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS.

Have you just recently started spending more nights at your boyfriend's place? Or is this something you've been doing a long time, and that your cats are used to.

If it's new, I'd maybe try to spend a bit more time with them, especially since they don't get along so well. Maybe if you can work on the re-introductions, they'll become best buds, and won't have to be separated when you're out of the house. The articles Furballsmom mentioned should have some tips for you.

 

[neely]

Given the situation, and your regular frequent absences, I say, yes, you need to spend more time with your cats. My particular view on this is that your cats should be more of a priority, just as your boyfriend is making his kitten his priority. I'm not suggesting never spending the night away, but I would try to reduce the number of full night absences. Your cats want your company and they want interaction with you. Even just sleeping with you can be comforting to your cats.

I tend to agree with the above member especially since you mentioned the younger cat isolates herself in your guest bedroom when you're away. Because your other cat is 18 years old she is in the senior years of her life. Therefore, I would be concerned about the additional stress your absence has on her. You said it was just her and you until 6 mos. ago and she really doesn't like all the changes. Personally this would worry me.

Since your boyfriend is attached to his new kitten I'm sure he would understand the situation with your cats. Perhaps the two of you could work out an amiable schedule that would give you both quality time with each of your cats/kitten. Best of luck! I hope you can find a solution that will work for the cats and you.