Krista's Care

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tarasgirl06

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Poor Elvis and Baby Su.

I’m doing poorly this week. Just going through the motions at the desk. Taking longer lunch breaks. I “worked” from the taproom the other day. It was mostly just drinking a beer outside, socially distanced, and waiting out a power breaker trip at the office. I’m going through the motions. But my head isn’t in the game. I’m so relieved to be working from home at this time as my desk can get as soggy as it needs to be. I’m mostly reading pages on grief and loss and looking through pictures and videos thinking what I want to add to her Instagram.

I bargain with myself about when I can open my first beer. That used to be around 6:30 after I fed Krista and signed off of work for the night. It was a pandemic treat to help delineate between work and home. I’m still signing off at 6 but that first beer was 3 pm yesterday. I’m not too worried. Beer is a self-limiting problem with me. I’m a lightweight so 1 is good. 2 can be a mistake that comes with a headache, and I’m often done before 2. If I pursued a third, the lesson continues into the next day. I might be one who drinks a beer to soften the edges. But I’ll never be one who drinks his grief away. I’ve been having a beer at 3 and one at 7. That gets me sleepy by 9 or 10. Eventually the beer gut will pull on my back and I’ll commit to moderation again when the course becomes too painful to continue. But I’m barely a week out from my loss. I am allowing some grief-stricken indulgence behavior for now.

I’d like to get back to running again next week. I had an okay run on Monday before the air caught fire.

I need to learn healthier ways to deal with stress, especially pandemic loneliness, and to take off the cat weight—the stress weight I added while Krista was losing her weight. I am making this a precondition before getting the next cat(s.). Especially if I get more than one. I don’t have a frame that can wear double the cat weight.

I plan to spend some time at the tap room with my journal this weekend. I want to come up with some things I haven’t been doing because of caregiver duties. I need to use this between-cats time responsibly. Care for the caregiver.
Thanks. Yeah, I can at least understand and know what happened. They don't, and they can't, and it will forever be a mystery to them until they are reunited with her, too. I feel so bad for them and really shattered for Elvis. He was so devoted to her.
Well, it's good that you don't have alcoholic tendencies! A *tiny* bit of cat weight could be overlooked, even kept if it's not a problem. It was an exchange, after all. ;) And all things in due time. Yes, it's only been a week. "Only" :sigh: We are allowed our time to grieve, and if anyone else doesn't get it, I won't post here my comment. I'm sure you'll know it, pretty much. And agree.
Yeah, the soggy desk. I sit far enough from the keyboard that it's just my lap that gets soggy. I have to watch the phone, though. Even though it's said to be water-resistant, right? A good choice, the SE.
My roomie golfed the other day and from what she was describing, I think she had heatstroke. She said she was sick all day. She said she wasn't going today, then changed her mind. It's a little cooler down here -- forecast to top out at only 97! But you can chew on the air. I don't want to cramp her style, because she can't go to the gym and so golf is about the only exercise she gets these days. Plus, she's a sports fan (MLB and golf, with tennis thrown in for good measure.) but I hope she won't be impacted negatively by the crappy air quality. The air gets worse every day, not better, here.
Journaling! I've sort of let that fall by the wayside for quite awhile. It seems I was just writing about tragedy and loss after tragedy and loss, and then COVID-19 happened...and it started sounding like a dirge. I'm just sort of recording my own most important losses and others that are impactful to me right now. It's like, it's important to me and I need to get it said on paper. But it would be good to start including some good thoughts in there, too, and/or even some good occurrences, if they happen.
 

daftcat75

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I don't know if this is feasible for you, but after weeks of not wanting to move after my kitten passed away I was encouraged to volunteer at a cat shelter. It helped me immensely. Sometimes when we lose our cats we need the consolation of other cats, rather than humans.

Also, what a beautiful thing that Krista brought so much light into your life that you are finding solace in thinking about adopting more cats in the future.
I definitely agree with both of these.

My fear with volunteering at the animal shelter is that I will bring a cat home sooner than maybe I should. But I was lamenting--to no-one in particular since my apartment lost its ears--that there should be a cat rental service. To me, walking a dog is like a dog rental service except they pay you cash for poop disposal. I'd feed a cat and scoop a box to spend some time with someone else's cat(s) It's not like they're coming out to the taprooms. But I think the cat-sitting opportunities are probably weak right now with travel down and quarantining up. And I'm still not sure I trust other people's homes during this pandemic yet. Even if fostering wasn't forbidden in my lease, I don't think I'd trust myself with fosters either. They'd all be "fails." They would all have to stay with me. 😹

Cats are just too dang cool to not allow myself the privilege of another companion. There's an orange male, possibly stray, that comes and goes recently around the mailboxes. He's too nice to be a feral and he's in excellent shape. I like interacting with him when I see him. He's good for a few scritches before he wanders off.

But I'm not in any rush to take on the awesome responsibility of another feline life. I have to take responsibility for my own for a moment or two here.
 

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I definitely agree with both of these.

My fear with volunteering at the animal shelter is that I will bring a cat home sooner than maybe I should. But I was lamenting--to no-one in particular since my apartment lost its ears--that there should be a cat rental service. To me, walking a dog is like a dog rental service except they pay you cash for poop disposal. I'd feed a cat and scoop a box to spend some time with someone else's cat(s) It's not like they're coming out to the taprooms. But I think the cat-sitting opportunities are probably weak right now with travel down and quarantining up. And I'm still not sure I trust other people's homes during this pandemic yet. Even if fostering wasn't forbidden in my lease, I don't think I'd trust myself with fosters either. They'd all be "fails." They would all have to stay with me. 😹

Cats are just too dang cool to not allow myself the privilege of another companion. There's an orange male, possibly stray, that comes and goes recently around the mailboxes. He's too nice to be a feral and he's in excellent shape. I like interacting with him when I see him. He's good for a few scritches before he wanders off.

But I'm not in any rush to take on the awesome responsibility of another feline life. I have to take responsibility for my own for a moment or two here.
Great thoughts. A friend in BC, the one who adopted the white cat we got admitted to Best Friends, had a career as a cat-sitter for a few years, full time, which she enjoyed. I'd have the same problem as you would, though, I'm pretty sure. I'd have that problem with the orange, as well, though I certainly understand your current need/requirement. *Hoping that the orange stays safe, well, and well cared for. Sounds like he's with someone who lets him roam. Grrrr, but that's another whole subject.*
 

daftcat75

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Great thoughts. A friend in BC, the one who adopted the white cat we got admitted to Best Friends, had a career as a cat-sitter for a few years, full time, which she enjoyed. I'd have the same problem as you would, though, I'm pretty sure. I'd have that problem with the orange, as well, though I certainly understand your current need/requirement. *Hoping that the orange stays safe, well, and well cared for. Sounds like he's with someone who lets him roam. Grrrr, but that's another whole subject.*
I don't know Garfield/Jim ("James, a garfield"), I don't know his name or his story. To be honest, I thought he was already captured by the city. I saw animal control parked here last week and he went missing until a couple days ago. I was just thinking about that and he appeared out of nowhere to greet me for some scritches. But I also haven't seen him since. He could have a very large territory. And I'm just not interested in getting caught up in another cat's affairs right now. He seems to be doing alright for himself whatever his situation.

I know my own bias was for a woman cat sitter. I suspect that's common. I don't need the gigs or the money. I'm already employed. I just need access to someone else's cats--cats that I cannot take home no matter how much I think I may be ready.

When I know I am ready, I will reach out to the shelter or friends who foster.
 

tarasgirl06

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I don't know Garfield/Jim ("James, a garfield"), I don't know his name or his story. To be honest, I thought he was already captured by the city. I saw animal control parked here last week and he went missing until a couple days ago. I was just thinking about that and he appeared out of nowhere to greet me for some scritches. But I also haven't seen him since. He could have a very large territory. And I'm just not interested in getting caught up in another cat's affairs right now. He seems to be doing alright for himself whatever his situation.

I know my own bias was for a woman cat sitter. I suspect that's common. I don't need the gigs or the money. I'm already employed. I just need access to someone else's cats--cats that I cannot take home no matter how much I think I may be ready.

When I know I am ready, I will reach out to the shelter or friends who foster.
Excellent. Every shelter I know of is asking for fosters.
 

daftcat75

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It’s come time to close this thread.

I appreciate that the moderators let it run longer than they normally would. But she’s no longer in my care and keeping this thread running is not caring for her. Or myself. It’s keeping me stuck.

For everyone who has commented and provided advice and support through the lifetime of this thread, thank you so much! I cannot begin to tell you what your support has meant to me. 👍

Those who want to continue with me and her into her next journey, remembrance and tribute, please join us here:

Remembering Krista
 
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