Kitten Viciously Attacks Me...

Evie's Mommy

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I'm at my wits end with my kitten.
We got her when she was 6 weeks old, she is now 4 months old and a terror.

But here is the thing, she only attacks me! Never attacks my boyfriend, is sweet as pie to him.
I'm the one that takes care of her, feeds her, scoops her litter, gives her medicine when she was sick.. I do everything and I get no love, just hard bites and torn up arms.

I play with her a lot. I try to distract her with toys but it only works for a little while, then she's back to attacking me. I could be sitting doing nothing on the couch and she will come up and bite me.

No discipline seems to be working. Spray bottle, saying NO! hissing. In my frustration I smacked her and she still does not let up.

Does anyone have any advice? I don't want to give up on her but I am slowly losing my patience.
 

talkingpeanut

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Do not ever hit your cat. It will not help and it is cruel. Never ever.

You need to be consistent. She did not learn how to play from litter mates or mom. She needs more play time that is approproate. What kinds of toys and wands do you use with her? She needs several vigorous play sessions every day.

If she goes after you when she is playing, give her a toy that is around her size that she can wrestle and kick. Think a stuffed animal.

When she goes after you when you're not in a play session, make a hurt sound like a kitten would and walk away. Do this every single time.

She should be spayed now. That might help.
 

PushPurrCatPaws

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I'm at my wits end with my kitten.
We got her when she was 6 weeks old, she is now 4 months old and a terror.

But here is the thing, she only attacks me! Never attacks my boyfriend, is sweet as pie to him.
I'm the one that takes care of her, feeds her, scoops her litter, gives her medicine when she was sick.. I do everything and I get no love, just hard bites and torn up arms.

I play with her a lot. I try to distract her with toys but it only works for a little while, then she's back to attacking me. I could be sitting doing nothing on the couch and she will come up and bite me.

...

Does anyone have any advice? I don't want to give up on her but I am slowly losing my patience.
I have some advice. Enlist your boyfriend into SHARING the care-taking with your kitten! What is happening is that she has learned that you are the only one from which she can have her needs or wants met.

I have discovered that this applies especially to mealtimes. My husband and I agreed at the outset before getting a new kitten that we would split the care-taking duties, and share things more equally. During the infrequent times that we aren't able to do this, when I find that I am the one doing EVERYTHING for days on end & Milly knows it, Milly will come find me to submit her "complaints" to me when she wants something. The husband gets a free pass. (LOL! What a lucky duck!)

So I recommend having your boyfriend take over at least half or one third of the mealtimes and other care-taking duties (litter box duties, and giving any meds, too -- if he feels confident with that).

Once your kitten realizes that, on a daily level, she can also get food at mealtimes from HIM, and not just from YOU, some of that pressure will eventually ease off of you and you might indeed find that she won't bite you quite as much. (You'll be under less stress and pressure, too, which will help the household as well!)

Speaking of mealtimes, it is usually a hungry kitten (in my experience) that resorts to nipping and biting at hands and feet when you are just innocently sitting on the couch in the other room. May I ask how many calories per day, and/or how often you are feeding your growing kitten? Do you have a regular schedule for the feed times, something the kitten can rely upon? Because kittens need a LOT of good food during their first year or two of life, and they also develop patterns and habits and rely upon a regular schedule.

Good luck, and keep us posted!
 

duncanmac

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I have experience with ONE kitten regarding the biting issues. We got him at 12 weeks and he had no littermates to learn manners from, so it was up to my wife and I. We roughly split duties. He was a bundle of energy, so we would play with him A LOT before and after work. Maybe 3-4-5 sessions at 20 to 30 minutes. Biting and toe-chasing we finally figured out was a signal to play with him and tire him out (after a brief time-out to break the cause and effect chain - just walk away for 5 minutes)

As the kitten gets more comfortable with you, he will start biting you. Why? Because you are now a "friend" he is playing with. Duncan, the kitten, used to bite and nip at me a lot, the wife almost none, but as she started playing with him more and feeding him more, she became a friend and therefore a target of play aggression. Kind of backwards right?

Before we got a second cat to work off Duncan's energy, we tried a few things (our big problem was night-time biting): 1) A play-feed-sleep schedule as close to the same time every night as possible. 2) If Duncan was still active and biting before 11 p.m. or so, we played with him to tire him out; 3) Absolutely no playing in the bedroom (he would bring in toys and entertain himself, that was fine, but we would not play with him in the bedroom); 4) If Duncan was still active and biting after 1 a.m. or so, after setting him on the floor a couple of times, we locked him out of the bedroom, sometimes for 20 minutes or so, sometimes all night.

Ultimately, we got a second cat to burn off Duncan's excess energy. It took a good 6 weeks to get them together and another 6 weeks to get them friendly with each other. Maybe 6 weeks of just working with Duncan would have solved the problem, but I've got two great cats now, so I'm not complaining
 

sarah430

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As the kitten gets more comfortable with you, he will start biting you. Why? Because you are now a "friend" he is playing with. Duncan, the kitten, used to bite and nip at me a lot, the wife almost none, but as she started playing with him more and feeding him more, she became a friend and therefore a target of play aggression. Kind of backwards right?
This has been my experience. I adopted from a rescue litter siblings Link (male) and Navi (girl) at 6 months old. (They're now ~ 10 months). I'm not sure of their exact history but it was clear they either had been removed from their mama too early or hadn't had a lot of human contact early on, or both. They were extremely scared of us when I got them, but not aggressive except for the odd hiss here and there. Link was especially scared and hid his head down and shook when he was in the carrier and also couldn't hold his bowls the few times we had to catch him (vet visit, etc.). I felt so bad for him! But once he warmed up to us he started to bite and swat. He nips at my ankles and will swat at me after I've pet him (he loves belly pets). We are still working on it and he's getting better but I definitely feel like his behavior came about because he now feels comfortable in his surroundings and with us. Giving him a lot of positive attention before he bites/swats and keeping him well fed seems to be working for us. But I'm also following to get more suggestions....
 
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Evie's Mommy

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She should be spayed now. That might help.
Our vet won't spay until she's 5 months old so we have 1 more month to go..

May I ask how many calories per day, and/or how often you are feeding your growing kitten?
Hopefully BF will start scooping the litter, he agreed to go some feedings.
She eats one 3oz can of wet food (half in the morning and the other half at supper) and maybe 1/4 cup of dry per day. Is that enough for her? She weighs about 4.5lbs

I got a laser pointer today and tired her out with it. She only bit my ankle once and has left me alone since.
 
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Evie's Mommy

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Yes, she stays in our appartement.

I think I pinpointed the source of her aggression. She bites and scratches me the most in the mornings.
We sleep with the bedroom door closed, BF is allergic to cats so we run the air purifier in there while we sleep.
Evie will start meowing around 5:30am, I get up and feed her, go back to bed, with the door open this time.
This is when she attacks me.

But, if I go and lay back down on the couch, she does not attack me at all.

I don't know why she only bites and attacks me in the bed. Could it be she thinks its "her territory"?

How do I shift her "territory" to something else?
 
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Evie's Mommy

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I agree with the above posters. Punishment does not go well with cats.

Here are some good articles for you to read that will help you handle the situations :-

The Dos And Don'ts Of Cat Behavior Modification
5 Reasons To Never Spray Water On Your Cat
Cats And Discipline Don't Mix
So basically all I can do is distract her with toys until she "grows out of it?"
That's all I've been doing all week with not much success. My arms are so shredded, I look like a drug user...
 

susanm9006

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Yes, she stays in our appartement.

I think I pinpointed the source of her aggression. She bites and scratches me the most in the mornings.
We sleep with the bedroom door closed, BF is allergic to cats so we run the air purifier in there while we sleep.
Evie will start meowing around 5:30am, I get up and feed her, go back to bed, with the door open this time.
This is when she attacks me.

But, if I go and lay back down on the couch, she does not attack me at all.

I don't know why she only bites and attacks me in the bed. Could it be she thinks its "her territory"?

How do I shift her "territory" to something else?

If her attack time is just post breakfast after you open your bedroom to her, just start leaving it shut until you are ready to leave the room.
 
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Evie's Mommy

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I can't leave it shut, then she meows and gets more angry.
She attacks at any time of day. I could play with her for hours and she still has enough energy to bite me.
 

susanm9006

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When you give in to her meows then you are helping create a pattern that you do not want. Ignore her, even if it means you can't get back to sleep until she quits scratching and meowing.
 
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Evie's Mommy

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I'll give it a try, thanks
 

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So basically all I can do is distract her with toys until she "grows out of it?"
That's all I've been doing all week with not much success. My arms are so shredded, I look like a drug user...
Yes, distract her attention and look out for her body language. If you think she is gonna attack you, move away from her. She could be in a prone position ready to pounce or have her ears backwards and when you see this, tell her in a stern voice and say 'NO'.

Leave some of her toys around so that you can grab them fast to distract her. Once she goes for her toy, quickly move away.
 

duncanmac

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So basically all I can do is distract her with toys until she "grows out of it?"
That's all I've been doing all week with not much success. My arms are so shredded, I look like a drug user...
It's not just distracting her with toys - you have to break the chain first. It cannot be bite --> play; it needs to be bite --> ignore --> play. You have to physically separate yourself from her for just a couple of minutes - I used to either walk away and turn my back on the cat and not say a word to him or put him outside the bedroom with a closed door. Then they don't make the association of biting to play, but biting to no attention instead.

And yes, it will take time. We walked around in slippers and long pants for a couple of months until Duncan calmed down.
 

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I have the exact same problem with my cat. I am aware of when not to touch her. Especially if I am sitting on the couch and she is above me. When she wants to eat or play she bites me. If you punish her she will punish you back! So please do not do that! My bedroom is her territory so if I touch her while she's resting she gets mad. She will only play when she wants to play. Queen of my apartment!
20170418_070141-COLLAGE.jpg
Wonder why my cats don't get along?
 
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Evie's Mommy

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Your cat is soo cute! Maybe its a sassy calico thing haha.

It's not just distracting her with toys - you have to break the chain first. It cannot be bite --> play; it needs to be bite --> ignore --> play. You have to physically separate yourself from her for just a couple of minutes - I used to either walk away and turn my back on the cat and not say a word to him or put him outside the bedroom with a closed door. Then they don't make the association of biting to play, but biting to no attention instead.

And yes, it will take time. We walked around in slippers and long pants for a couple of months until Duncan calmed down.
I started doing exactly that yesterday and will stick with it. When she bites, I just go in the bedroom with the door closed for a few minutes. Here's hoping it will teach her.
 
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