Kitten Just Won't Leave Older Cat Alone...she's Not Happy

[Ragnar0k22]

Thank god I found this website. Where was this when I got my other cat 9 years ago? Sorry if this is long.

Anyway, I adopted a kitten from a shelter about a month ago and he is now 5 months old. I was super excited at first mostly because he was going to be my ESA since my older cat, who's 11, probably wouldn't be too into leaving my parents house with me once I transfer to uni. I did a bunch of research on introducing him to the older cat, as when we got a dog we were clueless on pet introductions which ended up being a full on war between the two pets for about 2 years before they were able to co-exist peacefully.

The first two weeks went by and although there was some hissing, growling, and swiping from the older cat, they seemed to be able to co-exist in the same room as long as they weren't near each other. They also have no problem sharing food dishes or their litter-boxes, and they both follow me around the house. So I thought 'great everything is going well'.

Okay, well, maybe not so well. The biggest problem I'm facing now is that the kitten just doesn't seem to get that the older cat just wants to be left alone. The older cat will swipe and hiss when she gets annoyed, but he's clueless to it and will keep coming back for more. They both chose me as their "human" so they both want to be in the same room as me, which is fine until the kitten decides it's playtime. I'll play with him to distract him from her but I guess my older cat is just too interesting to him.

He'll follow her around, chase her, try to play with her (sometimes while she's in the litter-box), mess with her tail, all of which ends with her growling/hitting at him while throwing a couple punches. Sometimes there's claw, but most of the time there isn't. I'll separate the two if he's bothering her too much to give her a break. Sometimes the older cat will throw a couple swipes at him with a growl out of no where if she walks by him and he has the audacity to look at her royal highness. When I'm not home one of them is behind closed doors. The kitten and the dog got along just fine once they were introduced to each other.

Is this normal for cats? With the dog it seemed once the older cat swiped her nose that was enough for the dog to get the message and leave the cat alone. But with the kitten, he just doesn't seem to get it. It's at the point now where my older cat isn't nearly as affectionate as she used to be and I'll admit it, I totally missed it. She hasn't growled at me personally, but she did once when she thought my hand was him. She ended up rubbing her cheek against my hand in apology.

Is there anything I can be doing to help? They're not full on fighting (kitten never swipes back or growls) but I'm worried it may escalate. I have a few Feliway multi-cat plugged in but I'm not sure if they're working for them (although there hasn't been any spraying since I got them. It wasn't common before we got the kitten for me to come home only to find out the older cat left me a "gift" on my bed).

Sorry about the length but any help would be useful! They don't need to be best-friends. I just want my older cat to feel less stressed over worrying about some toddler deciding to mess with her. Thanks!

 

[ArtNJ]

An absolute common situation. Many, maybe most, kittens are little jerks about playing and ignoring an older cats cues. Many older less active cats don't like it, and many that haven't been around kittens don't know how to handle it. So they get stressed, they hiss, growl, swat and run away. It would be quite rare for this to escalate, 99% of the time the cats just muddle along gradually improving, maybe not ever becoming friends but ever so slowly getting closer to toleration. There are some strategies that folks may recommend to you, but quite honestly I don't think they especially work, not for this specific situation. I think you need to let them be, and quickly, so they improve on their own. Quickly because the kitten is getting bigger, and will be viewed more and more as an adult as time passes. The best time to let them struggle through this is NOW. Separations and limited interaction does not really work -- any separation just makes the kitten more eager, and the older cat never gets to see the kitten in chill mode. Maybe you give the older cat a break and some love behind closed doors once in a while, but don't overdo it.

While I am pessimistic about most strategies actually helping, you could try feliway multicat diffusers or other over-the-counter calming products, which could help the big cat roll with it a bit. Probably these things don't help, they aren't going to make the kitten not play or the older cat like getting jumped on, but they don't hurt anything. You can make sure there are enough litter boxes & separate food bowls. You can give them treats at the same time to try and make positive interactions. You can try playing with them together...it can be quite tricky, but they might be able to take turns, or you can perhaps use *two* laser pointers, two wand toys, etc. You can add "vertical space" which makes the older cat more comfortable by having a space that feels defensible to hang out -- Jackson Galaxy uses this approach on his show "My Cat from Hell" all the time with great effect. For the budget minded non-carpenter, that is generally a big cat tree or two, and I don't know you'll get Jackson Galaxy kind of results, but again it can't hurt.

 

[recurringecho]

Awww~ Reminds me of how Augustine was with Multo when he was a kitten. Augustine was always the clingy one, wanting to play and stick with Multo and going as far as "suckling" on the poor guy. Multo was not amused, haha!

But anyways, as ArtNJ said, I wouldn't recommend separating them unless there's blood and/or full on yowling and screaming. This is a learning time for the young guy, and it's good that he's getting socialized and learning manners now. They just have to figure things out themselves. It's better for him to learn what is "too far" now than not knowing and pushing your older cat off the edge when he's older and possibly considered a real threat, possibly escalating things into a real cat fight. Don't worry if there's claw when the older cat's annoyed; cat fur is really good protection and if the kitten's going back for more, then he's fine. Probably doesn't even feel it, haha!

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. I pretty much agree with all of the above. But, one of the reasons you might be finding your older cat less affectionate with you is because she is the one being relegated to an isolated area during the day, correct? I am guessing before the kitten came into the picture your older one had free reign? It's not like she is mad at you, but rather feeling much less confident about her place in the home.

I am not a super-advocate of leaving the two of them in the same area unless there is someone home that can keep an eye out for any sort of escalation. It is not likely, but could happen. If there is someone at home, then stop confining your older cat.

Also, it's only been a month, the kitten will eventually figure it out and hopefully before your older cat starts to lose her patience!

 

[ChallengerDream2010]

Help with Yoda (our 1 eye kitten terror) to Morgan and Misty (older cats that wants to be left alone).

I brought Yoda home around November of last year. He had serious eye trauma and I thought that if I didn't rescue him, he would surely have died. Lucky for me, my family adopted this little kitten. (He ended up getting the name Yoda because he reminded my ex of Yoda from Star Wars when when he was bundled up in a blanket.) Fast forward 3 months and now Yoda is a feisty, nurtured kitten of approximately 4 months old. I know he is just being a kid and wants to play, but Morgan & Misty want nothing to do with him and they will growl and swat Yoda when he is trying to "aggressively" play with them.

We all (3 family members) all have squirt bottles to try and deter his aggressive behavior, but the water does not seem to bother him. So he ends up being put in jail (a cat carrier which I we have adapte to be his bed and is located next to my bed) but no matter how long he is in jail... he just goes right back to his ways of wanting to play with the other kitties unless he is tired.

I saw some drops on Jackson Galaxy's website (calming, or bulling) drops, does anyone know how these drops work? If anyone has any suggestions, I sure would appreciate your advise. I will post some photos of my children so you may see them. I love the picture of Yoda still in his cone from being nurtured. Big fluffy cat is Morgan and Misty is the older hefty kitty.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. Cute pics & cats!!! Your best bet is to give your older cats a refuge they can go to to get away from Yoda. And, at times, let them have free roam of their home while Yoda is confined elsewhere. Also, playing with Yoda to distract him from bothering the other cats will be helpful.

Spraying a cat with water is counter-productive (see article below), and a time out for Yoda that last longer than 1-2 minutes loses it's effectiveness because by the time you let him out he has long forgotten why he was put there in the first place. And, it just serves to 'rev' him up even more.

You might also want to look at the other article links below to see if they might give you some additional ideas.
5 Reasons To Never Spray Water On Your Cat [Or otherwise punish them] – TheCatSite Articles
How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat – TheCatSite Articles
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles
How To Set Healthy Boundaries For Your Cat – TheCatSite Articles

 

[ChallengerDream2010]

Hi. Cute pics & cats!!! Your best bet is to give your older cats a refuge they can go to to get away from Yoda. And, at times, let them have free roam of their home while Yoda is confined elsewhere. Also, playing with Yoda to distract him from bothering the other cats will be helpful.

Spraying a cat with water is counter-productive (see article below), and a time out for Yoda that last longer than 1-2 minutes loses it's effectiveness because by the time you let him out he has long forgotten why he was put there in the first place. And, it just serves to 'rev' him up even more.

You might also want to look at the other article links below to see if they might give you some additional ideas.
5 Reasons To Never Spray Water On Your Cat [Or otherwise punish them] – TheCatSite Articles
How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat – TheCatSite Articles
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles
How To Set Healthy Boundaries For Your Cat – TheCatSite Articles

Hello Feebys Owner,

Thank you for your quick response, surely appreciate it and thank you very much for those articles. And thank you for the advise on the water squirting also, I had thought it was a safe way of distracting Yoda away from bothering Morgan and Misty. (besides the water wasn't working much anyways; Yoda would just look at you when he was squirt, like he was saying "What do you want?"