- Joined
- Jan 15, 2020
- Messages
- 150
- Purraise
- 104
My kitten is not a lap cat, doesn't sleep with me, and doesn't like to be petted. The exception is when she has what we call 'a petting mood'. At such a time she comes over purring and demands to be petted, and that mood lasts for approx. 20 minutes every time, during which she demands to be petted without stop, purring and being very demanding about it.
But at other times she's cold, and this puzzles me. Obviously she loves petting, but only when she's in the mood? Why such dislike for it at other times? At other times she tries to outright avoid being petted. If I try, she ducks or moves away. Even if I just talk to her without petting her, she often starts wiggling or bashing her tail in irritation, suspecting that I might get an idea to pet her. Sometimes she outright stands up and goes somewhere else.
Then again, I cannot say that she doesn't like me at all. She sleeps in my room, and she often follows me from room to room, running along, as if she wants my company. But try to pet her? Nope, tail bashing and ducking away! When she was 2 months old she'd always briefly purr while passing me by and would greet me with a meow once I wake up. Now she's 5 months old, and such overt signs of attachment are gone, and I start to question if she likes me much and if she's happy.
At the time when she was younger I thought that she had basically two moods: 'a playing mood' and 'a petting mood', and I believed that the two were incompatible. So I explained her avoiding my touch and being irritated by attention by 'a playing mood'. When you want to play you aren't tender, you want to attack prey! But now she doesn't play as much and I can see that the explanation doesn't work. She bashes her tail around even when she's been resting quitely for quite a while and suddenly I try to pet her.
Is there any hope for her to grow to like petting more? Not just in her 'petting time'... Because frankly speaking, being woken up in the middle of a night (true story almost every day) to pet a kitten for 20 minutes often means she gets ignored. She gets in the mood about twice per day, but I'd prefer to have a cat who likes to be petted in general, rather than a 'bipolar' cat who has strange demanding petting moods, which are the polar opposite of her normal behavior. That doesn't feel like affection at all, it feels like she's exploiting me for pleasure, if that makes sense. I know it's stupid but I feel resentful and I just want to be able to pet her like a normal cat.
But at other times she's cold, and this puzzles me. Obviously she loves petting, but only when she's in the mood? Why such dislike for it at other times? At other times she tries to outright avoid being petted. If I try, she ducks or moves away. Even if I just talk to her without petting her, she often starts wiggling or bashing her tail in irritation, suspecting that I might get an idea to pet her. Sometimes she outright stands up and goes somewhere else.
Then again, I cannot say that she doesn't like me at all. She sleeps in my room, and she often follows me from room to room, running along, as if she wants my company. But try to pet her? Nope, tail bashing and ducking away! When she was 2 months old she'd always briefly purr while passing me by and would greet me with a meow once I wake up. Now she's 5 months old, and such overt signs of attachment are gone, and I start to question if she likes me much and if she's happy.
At the time when she was younger I thought that she had basically two moods: 'a playing mood' and 'a petting mood', and I believed that the two were incompatible. So I explained her avoiding my touch and being irritated by attention by 'a playing mood'. When you want to play you aren't tender, you want to attack prey! But now she doesn't play as much and I can see that the explanation doesn't work. She bashes her tail around even when she's been resting quitely for quite a while and suddenly I try to pet her.
Is there any hope for her to grow to like petting more? Not just in her 'petting time'... Because frankly speaking, being woken up in the middle of a night (true story almost every day) to pet a kitten for 20 minutes often means she gets ignored. She gets in the mood about twice per day, but I'd prefer to have a cat who likes to be petted in general, rather than a 'bipolar' cat who has strange demanding petting moods, which are the polar opposite of her normal behavior. That doesn't feel like affection at all, it feels like she's exploiting me for pleasure, if that makes sense. I know it's stupid but I feel resentful and I just want to be able to pet her like a normal cat.
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