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Kitten Choosing Her Favourite?

Discussion in 'Cat Behavior' started by twinkles21, Nov 26, 2018.

  1. twinkles21

    twinkles21 Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    98
    62
    Sep 15, 2014
    Alberta, Canada
    Once a kitty has chosen one person as their favourite, is it too late for the other (non-fav) person?

    If the non-fav spent more time with the kitty, playing, treats, food, etc, is there hope to switch? or is it just preference, regardless of the amount of time spent?

    What's your opinion?

    There is a story to this, but that's the TL;DR version. ;)

    I had lost my kitty in august (young, 4 yrs old, quick spreading, aggressive cancer) shortly after, the shop guys at work found a kitten in the break room eating their leftover food. So I took her home and named her Narya.

    Well a few months later my hubby lost his senior kitty (Pyre); chronic illness complications that led to euthanasia. (yeah, 2018 has been a complete dumpster fire)

    After Narya was completely restless, she loved playing with Pyre. So out of necessity we adopted Nenya, who is the same age as Narya. They hit it off immediately, All is good there.

    Problem is, both of them seem to prefer me. Narya is much more independent, but has an obvious preference to me. She won't let hubs touch her for some reason.

    But, Nenya is like my velcro kitty, not independent at all and will follow me if I leave a room. Nenya's bond with me is so obvious, she'll curl up in my lap and just look up, staring at me. You can practically see the hearts in her eyes. (Sister in law even pointed it out "look at her, look up at you!")

    We were secretly hoping that Nenya would take to my hubs as his kitty. Pyre was his lap kitty, she took to him immediately, I was never absent in her life, she just liked him better right from the start and it seems to really (like, REALLY) bother him that Nenya is so attached to me. He's making off-hand comments that are really upsetting.

    I keep telling him if spent more time with her, played with her, gave her some treats, she would come around. I just don't know that for sure? I might be lying to him to make him feel better?
     

  2. maggiedemi

    maggiedemi TCS Member Top Cat

    8,010
    11,145
    Mar 26, 2017
    Upstate NY
    I think it's definitely possible! Play & treats seem to be the key to their heart.
     
    Kflowers and twinkles21 purraised this.

  3. amethyst

    amethyst TCS Member Alpha Cat

    464
    898
    Nov 25, 2016
    Alberta, Canada
    I'm not sure they can really switch, assuming their favorite person is still around, however it doesn't mean you can still become friends. For example, when my husband and I moved here I picked out a 5 month old kitty, that I named Mystic, at the SPCA to be company for me while my husband worked (at the time he could be gone for up to 3 weeks or more at a time). So even though I pretty much raised her, and spend everyday with her (I don't work outside the home) she still loves my husband more and gets so excited when he gets home. She will still come over to me for cuddles and petting, if my husband snubs her or isn't home, but I am clearly second choice. I think it's like having a best friend, you can still have other friends.

    We did get a second kitten after adopting Mystic, and I am definitely his human. He tolerates my husband now, but at first he did not like him at all, it took months for him to come around. He is never going to be cuddly with my husband, and doesn't come up to him unless he wants something and I am not around, but he does allow him to pet and pick him up.

    A more extreme example is my little Rascal (my avatar pic), she is 100% my cat, and will scream if she even think someone else is going to touch her. I don't think any amount of time or treats will ever win her over to someone else. She claimed me at 4 days old (she was born here) and we have a special bond.
     
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  4. duncanmac

    duncanmac TCS Member Alpha Cat

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    781
    Feb 22, 2017
    This is a tough one - we have three cats two of whom seem to have chosen favorites and the third showers either my wife or I with affection depending on how the wind blows.

    Of the two that show favorites, one is just a kitten at 5 months and may change her mind. The other is a former feral who seems to like my wife but not totally trust her, so I am the one who gets to pet him and play with him more.

    Some cats just find something about a person that makes them happy - it could be how they pet them, the sound of their voice, who feeds them or who knows what else. If your husband wants to woo the new kitty into liking him more, he's got to keep trying different things, but mostly playing and feeding, but he will probably never be the true favorite.
     
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  5. Mamanyt1953

    Mamanyt1953 Rules my home with an iron paw Staff Member Forum Helper

    17,936
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    Oct 16, 2015
    Havelock, North Carolina
    Oh, lots of playtime and treats will go a long way to making you at least the SECOND favorite person! And that's a very good thing, indeed!
     
    maggiedemi, Kflowers and twinkles21 purraised this.

  6. twinkles21

    twinkles21 Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    98
    62
    Sep 15, 2014
    Alberta, Canada
    Thanks for all your responses!! :redheartpump: You're right, I think the best he can hope for is second favorite at this time. But still, I'll keep pushing him to spend more time with her. Who knows what can happen right?
     
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  7. Kflowers

    Kflowers TCS Member Top Cat

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    Jul 28, 2018
    Spending time with her couldn't hurt, unless he's angry, annoyed, or frustrated with her or someone else while he's around her. Kit's don't seem to see passed those emotions easily.
     
    amethyst, Mamanyt1953 and twinkles21 purraised this.

  8. twinkles21

    twinkles21 Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    98
    62
    Sep 15, 2014
    Alberta, Canada
    Hmm? That is a good point. He has been stressed a bit with work. I'll watch closer with how he is with her. He Might be giving 'stand-offish' vibes :sweat:
     
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  9. Mamanyt1953

    Mamanyt1953 Rules my home with an iron paw Staff Member Forum Helper

    17,936
    21,609
    Oct 16, 2015
    Havelock, North Carolina
    Yep...if work is stressing him, the kitten is definitely picking up on that. Cats are energy sponges. I can actually tell if I have some underlying stress by how my cat reacts to me, especially if I touch her.
     
    Kflowers and maggiedemi purraised this.

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