Kitten Biting And Clawing My Eyes

[BabyBlueberry]

Appointment went well, and it seems like he just slept the whole time we were gone.
Placing him elsewhere is workinggggg, sort of. It's gotten to where I put him down, and he goes and does something else naughty immediately. I'm working on getting some peppermint extract to mix with water and spray where I don't want him to be (i.e. behind my PC, he's already just about hung himself back there once on the wires).
It's a little exhausting. We're also almost out of Fancy Feast, pray for me.

Regarding my mother - ohhh yes, I know. She terrifies me when she wants to stomp around like that. I've already told her that if she hits my cat I'm moving out, no matter how many grievances he gives me. She's the type to not hit lightly, either.

While I'm here, I have a bit of a concern - when he's using his litterbox, no matter what he's doing, he cries horribly, like he's in pain. It's getting better, but is there any reason why he might do that? He also seems to meow a lot for no apparent reason, and completely at random. You'd think someone was killing him. We brought the litterbox thing up to the vet, and I love my vet, but he's very ancient and very eccentric, and he shrugged it off before we even finished the sentence. I figured I'd ask here for a second opinion, just in case my vet is right, before I go chasing another vet bill.

 

[BabyBlueberry]

For all the lovely people here helping me out, what are your opinions on using a flyswatter?

 

[kunoichi9280]

Appointment went well, and it seems like he just slept the whole time we were gone.
Placing him elsewhere is workinggggg, sort of. It's gotten to where I put him down, and he goes and does something else naughty immediately. I'm working on getting some peppermint extract to mix with water and spray where I don't want him to be (i.e. behind my PC, he's already just about hung himself back there once on the wires).
It's a little exhausting. We're also almost out of Fancy Feast, pray for me.

Regarding my mother - ohhh yes, I know. She terrifies me when she wants to stomp around like that. I've already told her that if she hits my cat I'm moving out, no matter how many grievances he gives me. She's the type to not hit lightly, either.

While I'm here, I have a bit of a concern - when he's using his litterbox, no matter what he's doing, he cries horribly, like he's in pain. It's getting better, but is there any reason why he might do that? He also seems to meow a lot for no apparent reason, and completely at random. You'd think someone was killing him. We brought the litterbox thing up to the vet, and I love my vet, but he's very ancient and very eccentric, and he shrugged it off before we even finished the sentence. I figured I'd ask here for a second opinion, just in case my vet is right, before I go chasing another vet bill.

I'm a very very big newbie to this whole cat health and behavior thing, but I know crying in the litter box is a big red flag. It could be the cause behind some of the behavior issues you're dealing with. I would go back ASAP to another vet.

And the flyswatter is a no-no, IMO (and please, more experienced people correct me if I'm wrong). He'll either think you're trying to play, which reinforces the negative behavior, or he'll just think you're just hitting at him for no reason. If you do it too soft to hurt it won't be effective, if you do it enough to hurt, you're teaching him to associate you with pain. Punishment really isn't effective with animals. It's not even the best way to teach humans.

 

[BabyBlueberry]

I pulled it out and waved it a little and he didn't even associate it with a toy. I used it some because he gets back behind where our clothes hang, in the corner of the wall behind the whole closet thing, and I can't reach him there. That's how he climbs up our clothes and walks across our clothes hangers, and I don't want him killing himself or poking out an eyeball, nor him ruining our clothes. He didn't take well to the flyswatter at all and won't let me really touch him anymore. I don't know what to do at this point. My mother won't help me train him, she won't help me to get things to at least help set boundaries, when I punish him for one thing he just goes and does something else and when I'm heavily concerned he's going to hurt himself and try to reprimand him he hates me.

I feel like cats aren't supposed to be this hard, I've never had anything like this before and frankly I'm ready to give up already. It went from him being a threat to my vision to him being a threat to himself and now him hating me. Not to mention he has now started going after my mother's eyes at well, and she's already began trying to throw him to "put him down". I'm starting to think I need to give him back to the girl I got him from.

 

[kunoichi9280]

I pulled it out and waved it a little and he didn't even associate it with a toy. I used it some because he gets back behind where our clothes hang, in the corner of the wall behind the whole closet thing, and I can't reach him there. That's how he climbs up our clothes and walks across our clothes hangers, and I don't want him killing himself or poking out an eyeball, nor him ruining our clothes. He didn't take well to the flyswatter at all and won't let me really touch him anymore. I don't know what to do at this point. My mother won't help me train him, she won't help me to get things to at least help set boundaries, when I punish him for one thing he just goes and does something else and when I'm heavily concerned he's going to hurt himself and try to reprimand him he hates me.

I feel like cats aren't supposed to be this hard, I've never had anything like this before and frankly I'm ready to give up already. It went from him being a threat to my vision to him being a threat to himself and now him hating me. Not to mention he has now started going after my mother's eyes at well, and she's already began trying to throw him to "put him down". I'm starting to think I need to give him back to the girl I got him from.

Honestly? That's what I would suggest. It's probably what I would do. Sometimes there is just too much of a personality mismatch in adoption. And you have another party there you can't control with your mom, and it's not fair to you or the kitten. Throwing an animal is never ok, and it's not going to help your attempts to impose discipline. It sounds like you got a much more high strung kitten then fits (and I got my kitten to be an ESA too, so I know what dealing with anxiety is like) and both of you might be suited better if he found another home. That's just my opinion.

We adopted a kitten once, when I was still married. In 3 weeks it never came out from behind the couch or under the bathroom cabinets except to eat, poop, and snarl. Attacked the kids, the dog, us. We finally returned it to the shelter and came home with a kitten. After an hour hiding it was cautiously sniffing things out and 3 hours later it was playing with the dog and soliciting affection. Best cat I've ever owned. So don't give up on cats because of this.

 

[daftcat75]

You have a kitten. What did you expect? Hopefully the neuter will mellow him out some. Age will as well. In the meantime, you’re mama cat and you have to teach him boundaries. I wonder if you put him down too gently to be effective. I’m not saying throwing. But another cat wouldn’t think twice of pushing a troublesome cat off a chair or bed. When Krista was younger, if she got too aggressive or she bit at me for some reason, I just pushed her off me. “Your Cat Dad time has been revoked.” Removing my attention from her was usually more a punishment than anything else.

Especially when your kitten is going for your face or eyes, this is the perfect time to set boundaries. If you’re sleeping in bed, push him out of bed. If he’s in your lap, push him off your lap. He can safely land from higher than you can push him. So don’t worry about that.

Invest in wand toys, laser pointers, or even just a shoelace. You don’t want to play with your kitten with your hands because kitten play can get rough. Don’t try to squash this out of him. Just stay out of danger’s path. If he does swat or bite at you, push him off you or away from you or remove yourself from his company.

Don’t give bad behavior negative attention like scolding because that’s still attention. When your cat wants your attention, he knows he can do any number of these bad behaviors because it never fails to get (even the negative) attention. Instead you want to remove him or yourself from your company. The opposite of your attention isn’t negative attention. It’s removing your attention from him.

At the end of the day, these rough behaviors with you or your mom are basically just attention-seeking. Show him there’s a right way to seek attention and there’s a wrong way to do it. If batting at your face isn’t it, he’ll figure out other ways to get your attention. And you’ll need to show him whether his new ways are acceptable or not.

 

[Kflowers]

If you feel your mother may hurt the cat, it might well be best to give him back to the girl who gave him to you. That would make it easier for you when you have to move out. sometimes it's really hard to find apartments where you can have pets.

You owe your mother nothing.

 

[Talien]

If your mother is getting to the point where she's throwing him then yes, unfortunately, it may be best for all concerned to return him to the person you adopted him from.

If you want an emotional support animal I would HIGHLY suggest adopting a senior Cat, preferably one that is around 9-10. They have established personalities already so you will know what you are getting going into it, if you want a calm mellow Cat then you can find one who you will know is already calm and mellow and there won't be any surprises. Older Cats also tend to be much more grateful at being adopted, unless they are a reformed feral who has only known life outside and at a shelter they have already had a loving home and will be very appreciative of having another one.

I would go one step further and say your best bet would probably be to find an older Cat who was taken to a shelter after their owner died.

 

[Luna92]

Aw that's such a shame, it's not even been two weeks! I hope you give him at least a month. You mentioned that he was the "least feral" I wouldn't accept a kitten like because I'd have no idea what to do with it. A semi feral kitten is going to be a lot more work than a normal kitten, but if you would like to give him a chance I'd go from there. Create a post about feral kittens you'll probably get more helpful advice and focus on that part of his nature.

I know you've had cats before but I can't remember if you've had a kitten, baby animals are hard. Before I got my kitten I remember watching loads of "I wasn't ready for a puppy/kitten" videos just to prepare for the worst and I can't remember but I think I did have a time when I regretted taken on the kitten, I think that's completely normal. You just need to be prepared to do the work. A fly swatter is a no for many reasons but you can't be afraid of your own kitten! If he's miss-behaving or about to be injured you need to go in there and get him with your own hands (if you can't reach just wait him out", yes bites and scratches hurt but your his mum and I promise they become less frequent and don't hurt as much the more you get involved. I agree with what the other poster said you can't really hurt him by giving him a little push (just make sure your not angry, last thing you want to do is get in a fight with a feral kitten). He needs lots of stimulation boxes piled up on each other so he can explore and jump and look outside.

Does he have bite control? or do you believe he's giving you the full brunt of his teeth? How was he at the vet did he scratch and bite him? When he's being aggressive is it play is he getting over excited? Or is he spitting, trying to hiss, does he have his ears back?

Depending on these answers he may be a bit too wild for you and that's no shame in admitting he'd be to wild for me too! I'd try to give him up to a shelter or maybe a farm? And you can always try again my kitten Delphi is 12 weeks she's still small and cute and playful but she has so much more control and is less of a headache then a few weeks back, it's such a nice age. Tbh any kitten that's been handled well and raised with siblings and mum in a busy household will be heaven compared to what you're dealing with but still work.

Sending lot's of hugs for this stressful situation, he won't "hate" you forever he'll be over it in a couple of hours just give him space, let him explore he won't kill himself...he might learn a thing or two!

 

[Hellenww]

he has now started going after my mother's eyes at well, and she's already began trying to throw him to "put him down". I'm starting to think I need to give him back to the girl I got him from.

Right now she is basically a baby/todler. If she is in danger then find another home for her. If you gave her back would she be going outside? Do you have a rescue or no kill shelter? Talk with them about finding her a home and matching you with a laid back adult.

As long as she is with you kitten proof your home. Stuff pillows and blankets so she can't get behind things until she's bigger.

Kitten Proofing Your Home: 13 Practical Tips

I belief there is a cat match for everyone. It's ok if this kitten isn't your match.

 

[Kflowers]

I would hesitate to adopt any cat. Is this normal behavior for your mother? Is she jealous of the cat? If so she will be jealous of any cat who takes your time or attention. Perhaps you should wait and see what your mother does after you take this one back before you consider another. Your mother doesn't sound like a person who enjoys pets in a good way.

 

[danteshuman]

Let’s start with kittens should stay with their family until they are at _LEAST_ 12 weeks old!!!!!! So whether he was 6-8 weeks old, he was taken from his family way to soon! He is a wee baby who needs to learn manners. I would put him in a crate (with a nuked rice heating pad wrapped in a towel) that you place next to your pillow as you sleep. Maybe if you can, put a shoebox in the crate with unclamping litter in it. That way he can start learning how to use a box and cut down on your laundry. Expect him to be hungry every 4 hours and to need your fingers through the crate all night long. (Honestly I’m more likely to sleep with two eye patches then to kick him out at that age, but I have been trained by past kittens not to move in my sleep if there is a kitten/cat there.) I would feed him before you go to bed (wet food with extra water in it) and put a small handful of kitten dry food in his crate (if he will eat that or wake up every 4 hours to feed him.)

DO NOT EXPECT TO SLEEP SOUNDLY FOR A MONTH OR TWO!!! If caring for a baby/teen kitten for the next year as he grows up is to much, please rehome him now! Sadly kittens get adopted and 6 month old teen kittens do not get adopted!

If you willing to be mom and commit to keeping him/taking him with you for the next 15 years; then you need to train him on boundaries. Honestly a second kitten close to his age would be ideal. Your mom/you/the entire household need to agree to only play with him using toys (not hands) and to train him not to use his teeth or claws on you. Every time he uses his teeth or claws on you, pretend it hurts way more than it does, make a high pitched ow or eeee sound..... then ignore him. If he wants to come back for more tell him no or hiss at him..... then ignore him for 5-15 minutes. At the same time you need to play with him 4-as many times as possible every day. I suggest food puzzles, rotating interactive toys, ‘wrestling’ with him using your hand under the same thick blanket/quilt, wand toys or fishing pole toys (like pet fit 4 life fishing pole toys) , jingle balls, playing fetch using rabbit fur mice (which kitties love for some reason.)


Soon you will this phase. In 10 years you will long for him to be a kitten again. Take tons of videos and pictures, they grow up so fast!

 

[BabyBlueberry]

A lot to address, this is gonna be a long message.

I've had cats and kittens before, and also dogs. Only two of my animals (I'm not including fish) have died in my care. My very first animal, a cat named Bear that we found outside, was hit by a car. He was pretty wild but I wouldn't say feral. I was maybe 4, and my household members were allergic at the time so he had to stay outside. I don't remember him a lot. My other animal was a puppy that my mother rescued from my abusive cousin - when she found him he was skin and bones and probably days from death, if I'm honest. She accidently hit him with her car one night on her way home from work in our driveway. I knew she had given him to my Uncle, but I was told it was to see if his little leg was fixable. I found out a week later my Uncle had shot him. I'm still furious over that.

All my other animals my mom "couldn't deal with" and blames me for why they were rehomed. I'm pretty emotionally stunted from this. She's not great to live with, and she's narcissistic on top of it all, but this thread it's terribly about her.

Charcoal is friends with me again, which is great. He won't sleep in my lap no matter what I try but, he's letting me touch him again, so there's that.

I had actually really wanted to adopt Charcoal along with his other brother (my mom refuses to let me adopt female cats because "they have to have stitches", which yes they do but so? idk) from his litter, but I couldn't, I don't have the household space for two. I know I've adopted a cat while I myself am in a terrible situation and I'm trying desperately to keep it still comfortable for him.

I know results aren't immediate with a cat but it seems like I'm really going backwards instead of forwards. I'm trying to wait it out until his neuter. We finished his first round of earmite drops today, which is at least something. He despised those, so maybe not having that as a daily routine for him will be better, I dunno. His flea treatment doesn't seem to be working which is disheartening, he still has fleas everywhere.

I don't want to get rid of him if I can make things get better. I've already yelled bloody murder at my mother for her behavior. I'm kind of at a loss for what to do but I'm still definitely trying.

 

[BabyBlueberry]

I forgot some things - also, he has a wand toy, fake mice, and little jingly balls. My mom insists he's not old enough for cat treats despite the bags not saying an age requirement, so no treats.

I've noticed when he plays with the wand it's a little odd. He just grabs the mouse and holds it. He doesn't really do the crouch or butt wiggle, he just leaps or reaches, and once he has it that's kind of it - though he won't let go of it. He rarely bites it, but he does like to bunny kick it. It doesn't display typical hunt behavior and it's kind of bizarre to me.

I know not to play with him with my hands - my mom refuses to play with him at all. She just wants to pet him and when he's in a playful mood he registers her hands as toys because she WON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE and then yells when he scratches her. I have no sympathy for her honestly.

We typically feed him his Fancy Feast in the mornings, should I swap that to at night? Someone suggested that. We just ran out of it today though and need to buy more. We're temporarily supplementing with ham. Not sure if that's good, but he likes it.

My house doesn't have the space for any crates, and we actually don't have a single door except for our bathroom and to go outside. The bathroom is inhumanly small to the point we can't even fit a little box in there and I'm not going to force him in that.

When I first visited the girl to get him, there were four kittens, two calico females and two males, him and a big big gray tabby. His brother was MASSIVE in a crazily not proportionate to the rest of the litter way. I can't explain that one. But one of the calicos was gray and tan, and the other was black and orange. The gray/tan one hated being touched and was very hissy and kept her ears back. She ended up running off the porch and I assume didn't come back until we left. I didn't have a lot of hope for her, she was the most feral out of all of them. The black calico was also pretty big, but she was also skeptical of touch. She wasn't the type to hiss or run away, just looked uncomfortable. The gray kitten was kind of aloof, he didn't move a whole lot. Reminded me of a big ole lazy lap cat. He didn't mind being touched but wasn't interactive. Charcoal was the smallest (mass wise, the gray calico was the tiniest in height) but he was the most playful. He was skeptical when we got there but after touching him a little he went right to just playing with us and the black calico. His personality and my affinity for black cats won me over, so I adopted him. The first two days and most of the third day were a nightmare. He cried and cried and cried. I'm talking he CRIED. Just about nonstop. Cried when he was in the litterbox, cried when he was eating, cried when he was even playing with his toys. It was sad. He's mostly stopped crying now, except when in the litterbox. If he doesn't stop by the time of his neuter (or it gets worse), I'm bringing it up to the vet again.

 

[Hellenww]

If the vet didn't check for worms, take in a stool sample for testing. He's a baby and needs to eat several times a day. You can do 1/2 can in the morning and 1/2 in the evening. Get some dry food the have out all the time. Kittens need a lot of food to grow. He would also benefit from some KMR (kitten milk replacement).

He is just a baby who misses his family and has probably been hungry. Kittens are also very adaptable. Be sweet to him and he'll love you back.

 

[danteshuman]

I agree with Hellenww. If a kitten looks hungry, feed them. For kittens I like to do 2-4 small wet food meals (at his age maybe 1/4 of a can...., getting it to half a fancy feast can by 4 months) at the same time every day plus free feeding dry kitten food. I have found for adult cats 1.5 oz is about what they consider a meal. Cats are nibblers by nature. If all you can afford is Putin’s dry kitten food, that is OK and he will be fine! He needs kitten food the first 18 months. I would offer him saucers of KMR or KMR mixed with his wet food for one more month if you can but again he will still grow up to be a fantastic healthy cat without the KMR formula.)

About your mom? Well save up to move out and accept she is who she is. All you can control is how you respond to her/how much you let her into you life. I grew up in a dysfunctional, abusive home where my dad abused our pets. So I feel for you (& next time I suggest you ‘kidnap’ and surrender an injured pet over to a shelter or call the police and report your uncle if he shoots another pet.) There is the family you are born to and the family you choose.

About fleas. Those little blood sucking bastards can become resistant to one type of flea poison or another. I suggest a flea comb where you brush him daily and toss all fleas into a glass of water until disposable. You can give him a flea bath with baby shampoo you did up from the neck down then keep him soapy for 5 minutes, then rinse. Be sure to crank the heat up to 85 before he gets his bath, then towel dry him then put him in a new dry towel and on your chest or a heating pad for 10-20 minutes. Keep the heat high until he is dry. Vacuuming daily plush washing all fabrics/bedding helps keep them in check. Vacuum your sofa weekly to. Call your vet and ask about another kind of flea medicine and when you can safely give it to him, plus about deworming him/vaccinating him. There are low cost neuter/vaccinate clinics. You can google your area and ‘low cost vet clinic’ to see what is available near you.

 

[BabyBlueberry]

Charcoal has been wormed and needs to do his last round of earmite treatments in a week (vet said one week, skip a week, do another week), and he has been given flea meds. He's only 2.5lbs so I'm thinking maybe that's why all the fleas didn't die? I desperately need to bathe him again (the first time my mom did it and she did it all wrong).

Charcoal has dry kitten food out 24/7, and before we would just give him the whole can of Fancy Feast and he generally ate the whole thing, sometimes he'd nibble on it throughout the day (if it got gross and dry we would just throw it away). Since we're out of it now and need to get more I give him like 3-4 pieces of ham, which he also eats just fine. I think he does prefer the Fancy Feast though.

I have some good news! He's getting better with the picking him up and putting him down elsewhere thing when he's being naughty. I've about decided we take two steps back and then two and a half forward, so it's slow and generally looks bleak but it is getting better. I've established with him that (when he's pestering me or things near me like my food or my headphones cord or my hands/face) I'll pick him up normally the first two times and place him down, and by the third time I'll scruff him and place him down, so scruffing is sort of like the "last straw", and it seems to be working. If he's in a place that I've already tried establishing was a no-no place, I just scruff him immediately. It rarely takes me having to scruff him twice.

Things are looking better right now and hopefully they stay that way!

Last night was also a bit eventful - I went to lay down and he had already been in my bed laying down before I was, which he's never done before. When I laid down I did have a bit of trouble with him (as I discovered) trying to nibble and almost sort of suckle on my eyelashes (with my EYES he sees them as a toy, it's confusing), but after I put him off the bed the first time he got back up and slept for most of the night with no troubles.

I have noticed something concerning and new in his behavior - like I said earlier, he's started trying to suckle. Since I obviously won't let him do that to my eyes, he tries doing it to T-shirts specifically on shirts that have the sort of printed on glossy designs. My mom typically wears shirts like that and she just lets him do it and it concerns me because he never did this before. He was weaned when I got him, which is why the girl was giving them away.

I had a previous cat who did something similar except he suckled on pillows, and ruined MANY pillow cases. What should I do to address his newfound love for suckling? Should I leave it alone?

 

[BabyBlueberry]

Also, I forgot to address this, Charcoal has a neuter scheduled. The flea treatment has worked SOME, but there's definitely some fleas that don't look like they're going to be leaving. When we first got him, fleas spread from him into our bed, and they quickly just returned to him for whatever reason. There are no loose ones in my house as far as I know, they're all just on him.

When I bathed him the first time I ised warm water and kept him in a towel until I had sufficiently dried the places he couldn't lick, and I also let him groom himself dry also (while still in the towel). After I kept him wrapped in a blanket and he napped. My mom argued with me that he would be fine but thankfully Youtube videos taught me kittens get cold very quickly.

 

[Hellenww]

With Charcoal and your Mom challenging your patience you are getting a great handle on this kitten Mama thing. My Yoshi sucked on earlodes for the first 6mt. I found it very cute but eyes are a different story. Some cats suckle into adulthood, it's a common self comforting/happy thing. Get a few plus blankets or infant safe stuffed animals. Gently move him to those and he will learn to seek them out.

Mama cats hold the kitten down when they misbehave or it's time to calm down. I've used this method in bed. It seems like the younger they are the closer to my face they wanted to be. I made a spot next to my pillow for them with a soft blanket. I'm a nervous guardian so I kept a hand on them all night, getting up a few times a night for litter and nibbles. Around 4lb they were able to get on and off the bed easily and understood where to sleep.

At Charcoals age scruff should be fine but as he gets bigger it causes cats pain to lift their whole weight that way. People still hold the scruff but support their weight from below.

I sure you're right that he prefers Fancy Feast and it has more balanced nutrition than people food. Since cats get most of their needed moisture from their food you can even add water to the wet food. Meat is a wonderful treat.

 

[war&wisdom]

I'm really concerned about your mother's behavior, toward you and toward the kitten. If I were you (if it's even possible), I would be looking for a new place to live.

Suckling is pretty common, especially in kittens taken away from their mothers too early. Since you got yours so young, it's to be expected. My two orphaned rescues do it too, although as they've grown, they've isolated the sucking to a particular soft blanket, which we call their "mommy blanket." When they were little, they would suckle on my clothes, especially when hungry/right after eating. There's nothing wrong with it unless they're destroying things you'd rather they leave alone.

Gently placing a hand on him and hissing or saying "NO" is often an effective combo.

And it's best to give him as much wet food as you can afford!