Kitten behavior/personality change

[catheetiem]

Hi everyone, hope you're all well! I was wondering how to handle an apparent behavior change in my kitten. He is 14 weeks old, I got him when he was 8 weeks old. He was taken from a kill shelter down south and brought up to the shelter I adopted him from. When I first brought him home he was sweet, he loved to sit on my lap, would sleep on my chest while we watched TV at night, and loved pets.

In the past couple weeks his behavior has changed a bit, he hasn't wanted to cuddle as much. He'll sit nearby me, but he's not as interested in coming in my lap. He started biting me occasionally (gently, but there will be no biting at all in this house) when I pet him, which at first I responded to by yelping or saying "OW!" loudly. That would stop him in the moment, but he would do it again some hours later. Finally, yesterday morning, he bit me and I hissed at him. He was freaked out and seemed to have gotten the message, he hasn't done it since then. He does, however, seem to shy away from pets now. He'll sometimes swerve out of the way of my hand, other times he'll bat it away, other times he'll try to grab it. Usually I make a high pitched whine noise and walk away, but I wonder, is this what he wants? Does he want to be left alone and I'm giving him exactly what he wants? The last time he swatted at me I forced him to look at me and stared him down. I don't want him swatting at me, if he wants to be left alone he needs to let me know in a nicer way.

Last night was the first night he didn't sleep with us. I'm just wondering what's going on, what happened to the sweet little guy I brought home last month. Is he just more comfortable and this is his true personality, is he going through his teenager phase and just leave me alone mom? And how should I be handling this? I'd like my sweet little boy back lol.

My last cat was a stray that we took in from our neighborhood's woods. For the longest time I was the only one in my family she respected, I was the one who picked her up and carried her all the way back home when she slipped out after the first day, despite all of her (very painful) protests (I still have the scars from that, 12 years later!). I didn't let her get away with anything, and she would let me do just about anything to her. I was the only one that could pick her up, give her medicine, do her nails, etc, etc. She ended up becoming the sweetest, most friendly cat in her later years, although she was almost always that way with me. So that's how it worked with her, by laying down strict rules and not allowing her to deviate at all, and honestly just kind of forcing it on her. I've been struggling to find where the line is with this kitten, I want to be sweet and understanding with him, I'm nervous about being too harsh and him not being comfortable with me. I'd just appreciate some advice on how to handle this! Thanks so much,a nd sorry for the long post!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
He's growing and maturing, and it's difficult to know what his personality will turn into.

I personally think that a certain amount of flexibility may be helpful (except with the biting). Are you providing him with other things to play with and bite/chew?

 

[ArtNJ]

The stupid one cat year = seven human year things is, well, stupid, but it can help us understand this. An eight week old is 8x7=56 weeks, about a year. Some human kids aren't walking at that point and will still be very cuddly. But 14 weeks is 14x7 = 98 weeks = almost two years old. What human two year old has a lot of time for cuddling? TL;DR - time flies for kittens.

You need to be patient here. The harder you try and force cuddle time, the more the kitten will resist. Pet and cuddle when the kitten is receptive, and only then, and the same with picking up and/or putting on the lap. As he ages, you'll be able to do more. In the meantime, as suggested above, get some toys and have fun with the kitten!

 

[catheetiem]

Hi!
He's growing and maturing, and it's difficult to know what his personality will turn into.

I personally think that a certain amount of flexibility may be helpful (except with the biting). Are you providing him with other things to play with and bite/chew?

Oh yes this little guy has SO many toys, and even more should be arriving today! He's got every type you could imagine, wand toys, stuffed toys that chirp, stuffed toys that don't chirp, hard balls, soft balls, foam balls, dental chew toys, those crinkly shiny balls, paper bags, a light socket cover (he loves that thing lmao), and who knows what else. He loves them all, he's excited about every toy he has!

I'll be chiller with him. I have a fear of not making the most of this impressionable age. Growing up, I've had really, really fantastic cats, except one cat that we got as a kitten, my mom has taken to calling him "a waste of air" and it sounds harsh but like, he kinda is haha. I love him, but all he wants to do is lay in their closet behind a dresser, eat, and drink the pool water. Like that is his life, and I'm terrified of this kitten ending up like him lol.

 

[susanm9006]

Definitely patience but also not expecting this kitten to be like your other cats. Some cats will adapt to a “do it my way” approach while using this with others will result in skittish cats that stay away from you. You must figure out what works for your kitten.

As far as kittens, most have no time for us unless we are playing with them, they are trying to play with us or they are sleepy. Otherwise they are all about running and going wild. Get your cuddle time in when he is sleeping or falling asleep. When you pick them up they usually fall back asleep and are content to stay with you as long as you like. This is a good time to groom and trim nails as well.

And I wouldn’t worry if you have to give him an occasional hiss or reprimand. In the long run he won’t hold it against you.

 

[catheetiem]

The stupid one cat year = seven human year things is, well, stupid, but it can help us understand this. An eight week old is 8x7=56 weeks, about a year. Some human kids aren't walking at that point and will still be very cuddly. But 14 weeks is 14x7 = 98 weeks = almost two years old. What human two year old has a lot of time for cuddling? TL;DR - time flies for kittens.

You need to be patient here. The harder you try and force cuddle time, the more the kitten will resist. Pet and cuddle when the kitten is receptive, and only then, and the same with picking up and/or putting on the lap. As he ages, you'll be able to do more. In the meantime, as suggested above, get some toys and have fun with the kitten!

Thank you, it's comforting to know that he might calm down a bit as he ages. And yes, time certainly does fly, I can't believe how grown up he looks now!

Thanks, I'll let him do his own thing! He's got a TON of toys, like seriously everything under the sun. He loves them all (and a few things that aren't really toys, but have become ones haha).

 

[catheetiem]

Definitely patience but also not expecting this kitten to be like your other cats. Some cats will adapt to a “do it my way” approach while using this with others will result in skittish cats that stay away from you. You must figure out what works for your kitten.

As far as kittens, most have no time for us unless we are playing with them, they are trying to play with us or they are sleepy. Otherwise they are all about running and going wild. Get your cuddle time in when he is sleeping or falling asleep. When you pick them up they usually fall back asleep and are content to stay with you as long as you like. This is a good time to groom and trim nails as well.

And I wouldn’t worry if you have to give him an occasional hiss or reprimand. In the long run he won’t hold it against you.

Thanks for the advice!! Yes, almost everything about him is the opposite of my last cat, and I picked that on purpose! My last cat was amazing and I doubt I'll have the same relationship with another cat ever again, and I didn't want to compare my new cat to my last cat, so I got an orange male kitten, my last cat was a black female who was two when I got her!

Thank you, that definitely makes me feel better! That's how it's been so far, he is basically dead to the word when he's asleep so that's when he gets his nails clipped, hair brushed, and teeth brushed. And of course when he's hungry he knows how to lay it on thick too lol

 

[Furballsmom]

One reason that other cat is doing nothing could possibly be that its stomach is upset from the pool water.

 

[catheetiem]

One reason that other cat is doing nothing could possibly be that its stomach is upset from the pool water.

Oh haha that's just the way he is. He was like that before they moved to the house with the pool. And their pool is an ozone pool, there's very little chlorine in it. My parents had brought it up to their vet but he said the water was fine for him.