Just Moved, Cat Is Stressed! Help Please

miaray1013

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- Just moved with 8 years old, outdoor cat.
- She came and went as she pleased and lived her whole life so far at this house/neighborhood.
- Now has to be indoors, doesn't really know how to use the litter box. Stayed three nights at the vets office and they said she used the litter box fine. (I have to see it to believe it)
- I currently have her in the bathroom with litter box, food and water, and a bed with Feliway sprayed on it.
- I know she is so stressed by way of her meows and her body language.

PLEASE!
Any tips, advice, experience, or words of comfort would be so helpful!

Questions:
Can an older cat learn to use a litter box? How can I help her learn this?
Will she eventually get used to being inside?
Is keeping her in a more confined space with a litter box actually helpful at first? Or just stressful?
Once it is time for her to go outside again, what are the chances she'll try to run away back to her old home?
Anything I can do to keep her calm and distressed?

THANK YOU!
 

Kflowers

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Yes, an older cat can learn to use the litter box. Didn't your vet say she used the box there? Maybe she doesn't care for the litter you chose. Why don't you ask your vet what litter they use?

She's been through a lot of changes, including her stay at the vet. You knew it was just for a few days, but while she was there until you 'rescued' her, she thought that was where she was going to be forever.

Step one, relax. Yes, you. This is going to work out fine.

Ste[ two Give her a little time to get used to the new house, one space at a time. The bathroom is a good start. Staying in there several days to a week would be fine. That's plenty to get used to at first. If she misses the box, don't rush in and disinfect with enzyme cleaner. She maybe trying to claim her space. She maybe trying to make herself feel more comfortable. Some cats sleep in their litter boxes when stressed because it surrounds them with their scent.

Step three go in and visit her in the bathroom. You sit on the floor and let her come to you. Let her climb in your lap. If it's awkward to read to her tell her the old fairy tales Cinderella, Snow White, Hansel and Gretel, that your mother and grandmother told you.

Step four - as soon as she calms down let her explore the room next to the bathroom. She maybe fine in a day rather than a week. Mine were house cats and it would take them three days to get used to a new house and come out of hiding to explore.

Yes, she can adjust to being an inside cat. Thousands do every year. She might make dashes for the door, but that's only because she remembers. Keep her inside and in a couple of months she'll be happy with it. (At first, once she's out of the bathroom, it's easiest to keep her in a room with a door between her and the door you go out. In no time at all you'll have worked out the walk to the door, hold your foot to the side to keep her from running out. You'll do it every where you go and people will know you are a cat person by it.)
 
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miaray1013

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Thank you, kflowers!

I am very stressed about this, and just want her to be okay. I don't know if cats have alphas, and I am sure this is similar to a mom of humans thinking their child is the smartest, but I think my cat was the alpha of the neighborhood. She had friends and knew all the paths and drainage systems. So I feel awful for taking her away from her life and friends!

I hate hearing her cry in the bathroom, confused as to why she is not roaming her woods. But I will be patient and give her time to adjust. And I will do my best to relax ...
 

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Cats love their people as much as they love their cat friends. It is a shame you couldn't bring them all with you, but there is a limit to what you can do. As long as she is in your care she will be safe and that is a tremendous thing in this world.

It will take patience to convince her to be a house cat, but it can be done. No "I'll just let her out this once" though she may get out by accident. That it will take time and patience is actually a good thing. It means she was lucky when she was outside.

Only two of mine had trouble becoming inside cats. The others had suffered when they were outside - one had a broken shoulder, another had been shot and hit by a car -- you get the idea. None of them wanted to go back outside at all. This is the sort of thing you are protecting your kit from now. That she's never faced it means she won't have the nightmares survivors do.

You can let her out of the bathroom the day she uses the box for the first time. That will mean she's comfortable with the house. I really would ask the vet what litter they used. Cats are picky about litter.

Does her bathroom connect to your bedroom? If so you could let her have access to both rooms. She may be crying because she wants company, yes, her cat friends, but also you. She may want to hide under your bed. That's okay too. The first few days are hard on her and you. Cats hate change because change means you don't know where the enemy is, or where the safe places are. That's why opening up one room at a time is good. She has a chance to find the safe places slowly.

BEFORE you let her out of the bathroom - check the whole house for cat traps. Holes in the walls in the back of closets, back of cabinets, along the baseboards that sort of thing. You don't want to have to get her out of the walls. If there is a basement take a flashlight to check the entire thing.

The more relaxed you are, the more relaxed she'll be. Cats read our emotions. If you are upset, she'll figure there is something big and dangerous threatening both of you. So you're doing good.
 
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miaray1013

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Unfortunately, the bathroom doesn’t connected (though where we are now is temporary and at the permanent residence it will connect! - so she will have to go through this again in 2 months but I’ll be much better prepared and calm next time)

I will call in the AM and ask about the litter - especially if she doesn’t go at all over night!

Thank you for all your help and advice! It is so so helpful. Mia, nor I, have ever been through a move like this so I want to make her as comfortable as possible and you have been so helpful!
 

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Have you tried playing with your cat? Try using a wand toy so that you can actively take part in playtime. Something I learned from Jackson Galaxy is that when a cat makes a kill in a space, whether for real or play, they now own that space.

Try playing with her in the bathtub. If you don’t have a wand toy, try tying something solid an round to a string, and roll it around in the tub. Your cat may jump in the tub right away or not, but it will make her curious, and if you do it long enough, she’ll eventually check it out.

Keep in mind that I am not a cat behaviorist, nor am I as experienced with cats as others on this forum are, but if she’s been an outdoor cat her whole life, I’m sure at the very least, she will appreciate the opportunity oto run, jump, and be a kitty.
 
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miaray1013

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I just tried playing with her. She may be too stressed right now still. But she was interested for a second so I’m doing to take that as a good sign!
 
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miaray1013

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Ok I think this is my last question and it could be a silly one.

This bathroom has no windows. So at night I should turn off the lights, but have them on for her during the day?
 

thefishyone

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I would, if you leave a cat alone in a dark room, they might feel abandoned. I’d leave the light on until bedtime, then turn it off.
 

Kflowers

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I expect she'll take the second move better. After this she'll know she's staying with you. That she's got stuff (be sure she's got stuff - toys, a cardboard box house, a bed ) and when she sees that stuff comes with, she'll feel better. She'll probably only spend a couple of days in hiding.

And right now, she's not hiding. Hiding means being silent and hoping the predators don't find you. She's protesting, which is actually a good sign. Give her more stuff. Jackson Galaxy thinks stuff really matters to cats. I think it makes them feel secure, but what really matters is their relationships. She's still working on her relationship with you. The more you interact with her the better.

It's hard to interact with a cat who won't come out from under the bed, the far side of the bed. So you're ahead of the game there. She's a brave little warrior.

Her name?
 
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miaray1013

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Her name is Mia!

We made it through the first night with some tears from both of us. She's peed in her litter box, which was exciting! She's eating some but not as much as she usually would - and I think she only eats when I am in there with her.

She's a little quieter now, I think she has accepted that this is where she is to be for the time being. She really likes the sink so I've put a towel in there for her.

When I go sit with her she purrs and wants to sit in my lap, so I think this is a good sign that she does not resent me!
 

Kflowers

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Mia is a lovely name. You are both doing well.

Once you've checked the apartment for cat traps - holes she might wiggle through to get in the walls you can let her explore more. Don't push her. Be sure to close her in a room before you open the front or back door.

Do the windows have screens? If the don't, don't open them in the room she's in. It's easy for a cat to jump out a window. Some have done it from several stories and hurt themselves so badly they don't recognize their people when rescued.
 
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miaray1013

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Just a little Mia update!

She's doing well and is getting close to her regular eating habits - still not enough as I would like, but nothing that concerns me!

She's using the litter box great, and I am very proud!

We get to walk around the house during the day, but for now, it is still back in the bathroom at night. The vet gave us some anxiety meds for her, and I've been giving her that at night, but only half. I think we will stop these soon.

She's becoming very playful in the evening. She's always been an active hunter when outside, so I think she's bored. The sound of ping pong balls is not uncommon around here now. (I got her expensive toys for her, but I should have known better. She's always loved a ping pong ball over everything.)

So far, we have a good system from getting in and out of the house during the day without any escapes *knock on wood*. She goes from window to window longing for her freedom. A few more months and then she can have it after the second move!

Thank you all for your help with her. I was a nervous wreck, but everyone was right - we are all adjusting and doing well!!
 
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