Just got back from Brazil - Lost my Beloved Grandmother <3 <3 <3

[carolina]

me-grandma-beto.jpg

• carolina
• Aug 19, 2013

Hi all,

Just arrived from Brazil yesterday.....
My grandmother had been very ill and had a turn for the worst last Friday, the 10th.
She was 100 years old, but in perfect health... happy.... until that she got Dengue fever. That hit her hard.
When I heard she was sedated on the 10th, I immediately got a ticket for the next flight out.................... I prayed and prayed for her to wait for me......
My last plane (3 of 3) got delayed an hour, and she passed away 1/2hr before I got there.
Either she couldn't wait, or she didn't want me to see her suffer.....

She was still at my aunt's house, so I got to stay some time alone with her and say my good byes before the funeral home took her away.

I feel empty, I feel like there is no floor beneath my feet. My grandma was everything to me. She was unconditional love.
She was my rock. She was everything good - she was pure, she was perfect, she was light.

She was the type of person that although very religious and conservative, she would never, EVER judge or impose her way of being on anyone.
She always had a smile, a hug, a loving word, a shoulder, she always had LOVE, pure love to give - without any agenda.

For the 17 years I've been here, the first thing I've always done, was go straight from the airport to her house. Now everything is changed.
I woke up everyday thinking "is grandma ok"? Now what? Now who do I think of when I go to bed?

I called to talk to her and tell her how much I loved her at least a couple times a week "Grandma - you are the love of my life, I love you more than anything, the sun and the moon, I love you more than the infinite". Now who am I going to call to say that?

I brought with me several of her personal things to remember her by......

My life feels very surreal right now.

Grandma, you are the love of my life - today, tomorrow, and always

 

[franksmom]

Carolina I am so sorry to hear this! Sending you 

and I hope you can get some peace soon!

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this!  The way you describe your relationship; it reminds me of how I feel with my own Grandmother.  It's a blessing to have had such loving Grandmothers in our lives.  I pray time eases your pain. 

 

[jcat]

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother passing away. It's sad that you didn't get to see her again, but it must have meant the world to her that you were there to celebrate her 100th birthday. She'll rest in peace after such a love-filled life.

 

[gemlady]

Lots of comforting coming from me with a few :rub: from the fuzzybutts.

 

[blueyedgirl5946]

I understand how you feel. My grandmother took me and my siblings in to raise when our mother left home. We were age 6, 3, 1. When we lost her it was devastating. I am so sorry for your loss. She will live on in your heart. In time, I hope your memories will be sweet and bring you the much needed comfort and peace that you so deserve. Hugs.

 

[Winchester]

I am sorry about your grandmother. And I'm sorry that she passed before you got there. But you said your good-byes and she still knew that you loved her dearly.

 

[natalie_ca]

I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma   She sounds like she was a very special lady!
 

 

[dejolane]

so sorry to hear you lost your grandmother. You will see her once again.  

 

[nurseangel]

Oh, Carolina. I'm so sorry. That's such a beautiful picture you posted. The love just shines through.

 

[maewkaew]

 I am so sorry for your loss of your dear Grandmother.   She sounds so special,  a very wonderful person.  and i'm sure she knew how deeply you loved her .      I'm so glad you were there for her 100th birthday.       

That is a beautiful picture.     It just radiates love.  

 I think she is always still watching over you.    

 

[mani]

Yes, the picture says it all.

How lovely to have had such a beautiful Grandmother in your life.

Sending you lots of love.

 

[goholistic]

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. I lost both of mine from each side of the family when I was a young teenager. I never got to know them and build a relationship like you were able to do. The photo is beautiful, and your sentiments so real and full of love. I hope that the fond memories of your dear grandmother will soon make you smile and overcome the depth of your pain.

 

[ldg]

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I'm so sorry Carolina.

No, you can no longer pick up the phone to call her. But you can still tell her these things, as often as you like. You no longer need the phone. Sadly, you may not hear her reply. But she hears you. :heart3:

I used to write my grandfather every month. It has been 22 years, and at the end of the month, I still think, "I need to write Grandpa." And I often do. And now I talk to my dad all the time.

I'm just so sorry, hun.


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[feralvr]

My dear Carolina................ I want you to know that you have been in my thoughts/prayers daily and I am so very, very, very sorry you did not make it on time. BUT, hun, your Grandmother knew you were coming and I don't think you were late. I think she WAS still there, waiting for you so you could still say goodbye to her, in spirit. I am so glad that you made that trip when you did - you will never, ever have any regrets, ever. AND, you needed to be with your family during this time. Please know that it will be alright. Gosh, I have tears right now because life is so beautiful, the continuity and circle of life, but at the same time it is extremely and utterly painful. We can never prepare ourselves for life's losses but somehow we have to accept that part of it and go on hard as it is. Our loved ones would want it no other way and your love for and from your Grandmother will never, ever die. She is forever with you but now in a different way. She is there, all you have to do is "look" for her. My heart is heavy from your loss. Keeping you close. :heart2: :touch: :heart3:

 

[lorie d.]

I am so sorry for your loss, your grandmother sounds like such a wonderful person.  I once heard that it's possible that the soul may hover over the body for a while after death.  If this is true then your grandmother did know you were there.  I know exactly what you're going through...I lost my mom yesterday morning.

 

[peaches08]

100 years...that is amazing. So sorry for your loss though.

 

[AbbysMom]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[starryeyedtiger]

I just now saw this thread, but wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and praying. I took it very hard when my Nannie passed away. Grandmothers hold such a special place in our hearts :heart3: