Jealousy over cuddles

MonaLyssa33

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I've had my two for almost two years now. Remy instantly bonded with me and has always been interested in cuddling with me. Maisie, being semi-feral, only started to show interest in cuddles about two or three months ago. The problem I have been having is that Remy seems to get jealous when Maisie wants to join a cuddle session.

This morning while I was in bed, Remy was lying on my back (which he does almost every time I'm in bed) and Maisie decided to do it too. Remy started swatting her and trying to pick a fight while still on my back. Maisie is very, very patient with him, I'm assuming because she had a litter of kittens before she was brought to the cat rescue. Remy has also always been a brat with a lot of attitude.

When Remy starts to pick a fight while in my lap, I'll hold him back by the scruff of his neck to keep him from being a little jerk toward her. This doesn't always work. Is there anything else I should or could be doing to keep him from being mean? I live in a studio apartment so I can't sequester him to another room because the only options are my bathroom or my closets and that seems unnecessarily mean.
 

Podoko

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I would love to know the answer for this too because I always seem to have one boldly affectionate cat and another who death glares and runs off if I dare give both of them attention at the same time, so I can't exactly help you!
 

FeebysOwner

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Hi. How do the two cats get along otherwise? If they get along fairly well, you could try handing out treats when both want to be near you at the same time, to see if that will help distract Remy. And, when possible, head off an issue before it happens by coaxing Maisie to lay beside you instead of on top of you, if that is where Remy is. Likewise, once Maisie starts getting to you first, you'll have to do the same with Remy. On those occasions when you are in bed, can you cuddle Maisie on one side of you and slide Remy to the other side of you?

The other thing to consider as Maisie grows more confident, is that she may very well end up taking a swipe or two at him to tell him to stop. If it doesn't end up in fur flying or blood being drawn, this really would be the best solution of all!

As Maisie becomes more and more comfortable with approaching you, you might consider initiating together time with her when Remy is busy elsewhere. And, after a while, you could also integrate some play time involving both of them when they want to be by you at the same time. And, make sure that they both have time alone with you.

I think this problem will likely resolve somewhat on it's own, since you are saying that Remy will stop attacking some of the time after you scruff him. He is learning, but will surely test you on this for a while to come, just in the hopes you will let him have is way!!
 
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MonaLyssa33

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Hi. How do the two cats get along otherwise? If they get along fairly well, you could try handing out treats when both want to be near you at the same time, to see if that will help distract Remy. And, when possible, head off an issue before it happens by coaxing Maisie to lay beside you instead of on top of you, if that is where Remy is. Likewise, once Maisie starts getting to you first, you'll have to do the same with Remy. On those occasions when you are in bed, can you cuddle Maisie on one side of you and slide Remy to the other side of you?

The other thing to consider as Maisie grows more confident, is that she may very well end up taking a swipe or two at him to tell him to stop. If it doesn't end up in fur flying or blood being drawn, this really would be the best solution of all!

As Maisie becomes more and more comfortable with approaching you, you might consider initiating together time with her when Remy is busy elsewhere. And, after a while, you could also integrate some play time involving both of them when they want to be by you at the same time. And, make sure that they both have time alone with you.

I think this problem will likely resolve somewhat on it's own, since you are saying that Remy will stop attacking some of the time after you scruff him. He is learning, but will surely test you on this for a while to come, just in the hopes you will let him have is way!!
They do get along very well when they aren't both trying to cuddle with me. If I'm not involved Remy won't attack her if Maisie comes to cuddle with just him. He may try to play with her, but it's not as rough. That's why it feels a lot different with me in the picture.
 

Caspers Human

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If Remy starts a fight with Maisie while he's on your lap, make him get down.

He needs to learn to have better manners if he wants to have cuddle time. If he doesn't learn manners, she shouldn't get what he wants. Right?
 
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