I lost my cat Mutty on January 30th.
All I can do is write my journal entry from that day but there's much more to the story....I've been utterly devastated. I'm 26 and have had her since I was 8 years old, she is my soulmate and I have been in tears off and on and incapable of leaving the house since this happened.
I knew I wanted to come here for support and to share, but it was just too hard at first...here was my journal entry that day:
I'm dying inside. I feel so guilty and miss her so much.
If I had discovered her original lump sooner and had it checked and removed...she might still be here. I can't stop blaming myself. The guilt is over-whelming and the pain is non-stop.
My heart is broken.
All I can do is write my journal entry from that day but there's much more to the story....I've been utterly devastated. I'm 26 and have had her since I was 8 years old, she is my soulmate and I have been in tears off and on and incapable of leaving the house since this happened.
I knew I wanted to come here for support and to share, but it was just too hard at first...here was my journal entry that day:
Please someone tell me how to deal with this.....because I have not been dealing well or healthy.So this morning...around 5am, I noticed my cat Mutty was having breathing problems.......
It got worse and I got super scared and ran in and woke up Patrick and we rushed her to the vet down the street who referred us to the emergency vet like a half an hour away.
So we go there, and they put her in an oxygen tank and took x-rays.
We got there around 7 and around 9am, we were given the X-Ray results.
She had tumors all over her lungs and so much fluid in her lungs and around that you couldn't even see her heart.
I had to face the decision to put her to sleep...at first I was begging the vet for another option...he said if we drained the fluid, it would just come back and get worse and she would die an agonizingly painful death.
So around 9:30am this morning, my little baby was brought in, put in my lap and a needle put her to sleep. She died in my arms with me bawling uncontrollably and kissing her head telling her how much I love her.
I had her for 17 years. She was my rock, my *ANGEL*. The one thing that I could always count on and hold onto. I cannot explain how much I love her and always will.
The vet made me paw impressions and we're having her privately cremated so I can have her ashes.
This was completely unexpected. I'm crying again right now.
Please say a little prayer for her.....I pray that there is an afterlife and I will be with her again.
I'm dying inside. I feel so guilty and miss her so much.
If I had discovered her original lump sooner and had it checked and removed...she might still be here. I can't stop blaming myself. The guilt is over-whelming and the pain is non-stop.
My heart is broken.