Its Killing Me - Beautiful New Kitty Wont Let Me Hold Her

cihanthepanda

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so i adopted this goregous kitty 2 weeks ago she is now 9 weeks old


a bit of background - she wasnt feral, i know the person who breeded the litter but he does NOT take good care of them, this kity was covered absolutly crawling in fleas when i got her. i had to isolated her. and multiple time bathe and pick off the fleas manually over several hours. and then isolate again, clean everywhere. before i even let her into the house.

a week ago as she was old enough, i flead and wormed her

shes very happy healthy runs around no problem, loves purring and play fighting

but.......
she absolutly hates being picked up
no matter how i try it - ie the mother cat way by the neck
or gently from stomache
or gently holding with both hands against my stomache so shes got a firm base

she hates it
she cries, not angry cry but a real sad cry when i lift her up

i dont know what to do
i have bad anxiety in my life and having a kitten i can hug gently and sometimes pick up is very important
she loves kisses and snuggling next to me
sometimes she lies on my back
but for some reason shes terrified of being lifted up

its killing me this problem as i so want to cuddle her sometimes

i would really appreciate a suggestion

 

neely

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Your female kitten is pawsitively precious. :lovecat3: Thank you for rescuing her from an unsuitable situation. What's her name?

I understand that you would like to pick her up as part of the natural bonding process but she may need time in which case you need to be patient or she may simply prefer to not be picked up at this time. Please read this Article titled, Your Cat Probably Hates it when you: Your Cat Probably Hates It When You... then scroll down to being picked up.

Cats are individuals and we need to respect that although she is still so young I'm hoping with time and patience she will come around and let you pick her up. All the best of luck! Please keep us posted on her progress. :alright:
 
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cihanthepanda

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Your female kitten is pawsitively precious. :lovecat3: Thank you for rescuing her from an unsuitable situation. What's her name?

I understand that you would like to pick her up as part of the natural bonding process but she may need time in which case you need to be patient or she may simply prefer to not be picked up at this time. Please read this Article titled, Your Cat Probably Hates it when you: Your Cat Probably Hates It When You... then scroll down to being picked up.

Cats are individuals and we need to respect that although she is still so young I'm hoping with time and patience she will come around and let you pick her up. All the best of luck! Please keep us posted on her progress. :alright:
her name is suekey
the guy breeding who i know has bred before i told him quite clearly that if it carried on like this i would have to call rspca, having kittens in such appalling conditions literally crawling with fleas - at their age it could kill them!

she was so skinny when i got her
shes really put on weight and is nice and chunky

loves all kind of contact, playing, kisses me all the time

but its just when i pick her up she meows and crys right away
its not a struggle or an agressive attitude

its almost like it hurts her to be lifted?

but she doesnt portray this pain the rest of the time
 

susanm9006

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When she is awake and playing I would not try to pick her up at all. Instead, sit or lay along side of her and make your lap an interesting place with toys and treats. Then just let her come to you on her own and soon she will start to climb over you to get what you have. Don’t try to hold her or restrain her in any way, just let her play on you. When you can hold her is when she is very sleepy or sleeping. Pick her up gently, stroke her nose and head and let her sleep on you.
Usually kittens love the warmth and learn the comforting smells of their human and will seek it out the next time she gets sleepy. And, if you don’t let her sleep with you give that a try. As a big human you can be a little scary to a tiny kitten but lying down you are much less so. Where she used to sleep with her siblings she will now look to sleep with you.
 
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maggie101

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I cannot get my cat to sit on my lap until I play a video on my tablet like animals, or kittens. Or if I sing. Now that she is 8 yrs old she sits with me occasionally. As a kitten she was active all day playing so never on my lap. To wild to want to be picked up.
 
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cihanthepanda

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When she is awake and playing I would not try to pick her up at all. Instead, sit or lay along side of her and make your lap an interesting place with toys and treats. Then just let her come to you on her own and soon she will start to climb over you to get what you have. Don’t try to hold her or restrain her in any way, just let her play on you. When you can hold her is when she is very sleepy or sleeping. Pick her up gently, stroke her nose and head and let her sleep on you.
Usually kittens love the warmth and learn the comforting smells of their human and will seek it out the next time she gets sleepy. And, if you don’t let her sleep with you give that a try. As a big human you can be a little scary to a tiny kitten but lying down you are much less so. Where she used to sleep with her siblings she will now look to sleep with you.
really appreciate your reply
the thing is she isnt scared of me
i regularly open my eyes after having a nap and see her on top of me licking my face
she loves play biting my hand and all that

its just for some reason physically picking her up shes terrified

and like, ive had loads of cats and kittens growing up
i have even dealt with feral ones
and long as you pick them up the right way and are no threat, ive never had a kitten who genuinely doesnt like being picked up
its a shock to me as gently snuggling it and feeling loved is a big part of having a kitten for me

i know they arent toys by the way
 

LTS3

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Some cats just don't like being held and snuggled:dunno: It's just their personality and they have their boundary on how much interaction they want from you. You can't force a cat to be snuggly against their will. If anything, it would cause the cat to become terrified of you. Just let your cat be herself.
 

ArtNJ

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Very few young kittens like being picked up.

Its very simple though. If you want to deepen the bond, do stuff the kitten likes. Pet only when and where, hold when and where, the kitten allows. Kitten has to be the boss.

Its not at all unusual for trust to come in bits. Kitten trusts you enough to crawl on you when you are lying down. That is different from not being scared when you are walking in those boots, or pick the kitten up high. Most kittens will allow petting only when sleepy, or in a special spot, at first. Very normal.

And its not all a trust issue. Take laps. If you try to force hold a super active kitten in your lap on the theory they learn to like it (not saying you would) then of course that makes a negative lap memory. Who wants to be forcibly restrained by someone they just met?

I actually have a 3 year old that is still well bonded and at one time was too closely bonded. He luv luv loves me. Even when it isn't feeding time lol. But I can't pick him up. He will attack my arm. Or squirm. Its not his thing. And I have had cats for decades and know how to pick them up.
 

Luc

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One of my cats ( the one in the pic next to my name ) is a female, she was rescued from a shelter when she was 4 years old and hates to be picked up. She also hates when I hug her it makes her feel as if she has less space and she get tensed and stressed. I have no idea why or what happened to her before but I accept that is just how she is.

Since your cat is a kitten you might try giving treats while you hug your cat or pick him up to make it a positive experience.

I tried that with my adult cat and now she tolerate me picking her up for a brief time. Eventually I decided to make a bond with her in other ways, for instance she loves to be brushed.

It takes patience at times I would love to hug her tight, but I know I must respect her boundaries. Around feeding time or when she wants attention she will rub herself against my legs. That is her way to expressing herself so in the end I just do my best to meet her at where she is...hope it makes sense.
 

dollbaby25

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so i adopted this goregous kitty 2 weeks ago she is now 9 weeks old


a bit of background - she wasnt feral, i know the person who breeded the litter but he does NOT take good care of them, this kity was covered absolutly crawling in fleas when i got her. i had to isolated her. and multiple time bathe and pick off the fleas manually over several hours. and then isolate again, clean everywhere. before i even let her into the house.

a week ago as she was old enough, i flead and wormed her

shes very happy healthy runs around no problem, loves purring and play fighting

but.......
she absolutly hates being picked up
no matter how i try it - ie the mother cat way by the neck
or gently from stomache
or gently holding with both hands against my stomache so shes got a firm base

she hates it
she cries, not angry cry but a real sad cry when i lift her up

i dont know what to do
i have bad anxiety in my life and having a kitten i can hug gently and sometimes pick up is very important
she loves kisses and snuggling next to me
sometimes she lies on my back
but for some reason shes terrified of being lifted up

its killing me this problem as i so want to cuddle her sometimes

i would really appreciate a suggestion

Ok, not sure if this will work, try cradling her like a baby. I've done this with 3 of my 5 cats and they love it. My beauty Cali just snuggles in my arms purring and has fallen asleep this way loads of times.
 

dollbaby25

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Ok, not sure if this will work, try cradling her like a baby. I've done this with 3 of my 5 cats and they love it. My beauty Cali just snuggles in my arms purring and has fallen asleep this way loads of times.
20190626_000637.jpg
 
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Maria Bayote

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My kitty also does not want to be picked up, so I let her be, even if I am tempted to by her cuteness. Give it time. Cats come to you when they are ready.
 

dollbaby25

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You are correct. Each cat is different. like people, they have their own personalities. My husband's tabby Diva is a lap cat now, but when she first came to us - re-homed from a rescue by a co-worker - she took a while to warm up to us.
20181117_192244.jpg
 
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