It's been a month my beautiful boy...

[moodycatdaddy]

It's been a month since my cat passed away, and I'm still struggling to understand my emotions. On the surface, I may appear composed, but there's an inexplicable inner turmoil that lingers. Undoubtedly, I've made progress since his loss, but everyday activities can unexpectedly trigger memories. For instance, the simple act of scooping his siblings' litter box serves as a reminder of how little clumped litter there used to be due to his health issues.

I'm constantly reminded that I once had three fur babies when I see all three feeding bowls. Even the sight of a syringe evokes memories of the times when he needed medication and resisted eating. I recall the fear and discomfort he must have felt, but he trusted me. Those beautiful eyes would gaze at me, and I would reassure him that everything would be okay, encouraging him to take his medicine and eat so he'd get better.

I believed I had come to terms with all the guilt, but occasionally, they manage to sneak back in, and I find myself revisiting those moments once more.

It saddens me that as the days pass, fewer and fewer people mention his name, as if his memory is slowly fading away.

And so, I come here because I feel like this is a safe space where I can share what I feel without being judged, without being rushed, and where I can keep his memories somewhat alive.

 

[Mia6]

you will never be judged here,

 

[di and bob]

You are always welcome here, we all know the pain of losing someone we love and treasure. Time is the only thing that helps. It dulls the sharp edges of grief and allows us to go into the future. Right now just dwell in the present like cats do. Getting through each day and trying not to think of anything but today. You will never forget your sweet boy, don't worry about that. His memory will fade from other people's minds because he was YOUR love, YOUR precious little one and no one else will know that love or understand it. We can empathize because we have stood where you are now, brought to our knees with the pain and sorrow. Eventually, and it may be many years from now, your pain will morph into gratitude for having him share his life's journey with you. But that is in the future.
Of course, you are sad, of course, you are grief-stricken. You have lost a member of yoru family that was your world. Now you go forward and carry his memories with you, using them for comfort and knowing you gave him exactly what he wanted and needed, care and love...........

 

[moodycatdaddy]

you will never be judged here,

Thank you, Mia.

 

[moodycatdaddy]

You are always welcome here, we all know the pain of losing someone we love and treasure. Time is the only thing that helps. It dulls the sharp edges of grief and allows us to go into the future. Right now just dwell in the present like cats do. Getting through each day and trying not to think of anything but today. You will never forget your sweet boy, don't worry about that. His memory will fade from other people's minds because he was YOUR love, YOUR precious little one and no one else will know that love or understand it. We can empathize because we have stood where you are now, brought to our knees with the pain and sorrow. Eventually, and it may be many years from now, your pain will morph into gratitude for having him share his life's journey with you. But that is in the future.
Of course, you are sad, of course, you are grief-stricken. You have lost a member of yoru family that was your world. Now you go forward and carry his memories with you, using them for comfort and knowing you gave him exactly what he wanted and needed, care and love...........

Thank you, Di and Bob. Beautiful words.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Oh, DarIin. One month is no time at aII when you have Iost a beIoved famiIy member. HeaIing wiII come in time, but we cannot know how Iong that time wiII be, and the scars wiII ALWAYS ache when the wind is right. 50 years ago, I Iost my souI-dog, and once in a great whiIe I stiII weep...but there is sweetness in the tears now, aIong with the sorrow. It comes. MeanwhiIe, you come here as often as you need to come, pour out your pain, and we wiII Iisten, and absorb as much of it as we can. This is not just a forum, but a Ioving community. We are here.

 

[FeralHearts]

Time means very little as it takes as long as it takes. So don't let the world rush you. XOXOXOXOX

Raprap was beautiful and that Video you did is absolutely lovely! He was precious and loved - and he knew it - and we can all feel it too. You did everything you could for him. You can see he had a good life with you too.

I concur with everyone here - there is no judgement. Only understanding.

 

[Mighty Orange]

Remember, we all have been there and lost a fur buddy. Raprap was beautiful.

 

[Margot Lane]

I find what helps Is to channel their energy, their who-ness, if that makes any sense at all. Not so much the memories as their personality. It clings to you, runs through you, and never fades. The joy of who they were will always be there for you, wraps itself warm round your heart, purring. Try reading the poem “When Great Trees Fall,” by Maya Angelou, esp. the final paragraph.

 

[FeralHearts]

I find what helps Is to channel their energy, their who-ness, if that makes any sense at all. Not so much the memories as their personality. It clings to you, runs through you, and never fades. The joy of who they were will always be there for you, wraps itself warm round your heart, purring. Try reading the poem “When Great Trees Fall,” by Maya Angelou, esp. the final paragraph.

moodycatdaddy This made me think of something that might help you a bit. Especially about being worried he's being forgotten.

One thing I've been doing is that sometimes one of my others will do something only Mia would do. So I say outloud to them "Are you channelling your inner Mia?" or if they do something not great I'll say to them "Mia would not approve of this." It sounds weird but it helps me to keep that who-ness Margot Lane just mentioned. Keeps her memory alive.

 

[Purr-fect]

That was an absolutely beautiful tribute!! Raprap was lucky to have you. Thank goodness you kept him.

While your experience and memories are different to mine, like you and most here, I have also had loved cat family members pass.

Some thoughts. Put away the syringe, slowly move his bowl away (wash it and put it in a cupboard that you use, so you see the bowl and the "door" to his memory isn't being closed, but left "open" enough to find a balance between sweet memories and painful ones. You will close the door when you are ready.

Rejoice!!!!!!! Your baby would be saddened to know you are hurting. If you had passed, would you have wanted him to suffer your loss, or rather live life to the fullest each day?

His siblings need you. They can sense your emotions, your sadness and pain. They likely also feel a sense of loss and confusion. Don't let them hurt as well. Love them, cuddle them, spend more time with them. Perhaps take your sense of loss and redirect into making each day of their lives amazing. Give them the life you wanted Raprap to have.

It will be easier in time....and don't worry you will never forget.

 

[gareth]

It's been a month since my cat passed away, and I'm still struggling to understand my emotions. On the surface, I may appear composed, but there's an inexplicable inner turmoil that lingers. Undoubtedly, I've made progress since his loss, but everyday activities can unexpectedly trigger memories. For instance, the simple act of scooping his siblings' litter box serves as a reminder of how little clumped litter there used to be due to his health issues.

I'm constantly reminded that I once had three fur babies when I see all three feeding bowls. Even the sight of a syringe evokes memories of the times when he needed medication and resisted eating. I recall the fear and discomfort he must have felt, but he trusted me. Those beautiful eyes would gaze at me, and I would reassure him that everything would be okay, encouraging him to take his medicine and eat so he'd get better.

I believed I had come to terms with all the guilt, but occasionally, they manage to sneak back in, and I find myself revisiting those moments once more.

It saddens me that as the days pass, fewer and fewer people mention his name, as if his memory is slowly fading away.

And so, I come here because I feel like this is a safe space where I can share what I feel without being judged, without being rushed, and where I can keep his memories somewhat alive.
View attachment 460823

It's been years since I lost my little Eva, and I still think about her often. There is no timeline for Grief, and no end-date for love.

No-one here will judge you in the slightest.

I DO question your guilt. I see no failing in your actions, no lack of love and care in your words. You did everything and more anyone could expect and you treated your cat with the love and considered due. He trusted you and you rose to it. You loved him until his last breath and beyond. That's our responsibility. When you see syringes and feel the inevitable trigger of grief remember that was your finest moment. You fought for him in his darkest moments. You held his welfare and comfort above everything else.

Wherever he is, I'm sure he'll never forget that, and never stop loving you for it.

 

[moodycatdaddy]

Oh, DarIin. One month is no time at aII when you have Iost a beIoved famiIy member. HeaIing wiII come in time, but we cannot know how Iong that time wiII be, and the scars wiII ALWAYS ache when the wind is right. 50 years ago, I Iost my souI-dog, and once in a great whiIe I stiII weep...but there is sweetness in the tears now, aIong with the sorrow. It comes. MeanwhiIe, you come here as often as you need to come, pour out your pain, and we wiII Iisten, and absorb as much of it as we can. This is not just a forum, but a Ioving community. We are here.

Thank you for the comforting words. I'm sorry about your soul-dog. If there is still pain after 50 years, it just means the love was so great. Sending love.

 

[moodycatdaddy]

Time means very little as it takes as long as it takes. So don't let the world rush you. XOXOXOXOX

Raprap was beautiful and that Video you did is absolutely lovely! He was precious and loved - and he knew it - and we can all feel it too. You did everything you could for him. You can see he had a good life with you too.

I concur with everyone here - there is no judgement. Only understanding.

Thank you, FeralHearts. Really thankful that there is no judgment here and only understanding. Truly means a lot.

 

[moodycatdaddy]

Remember, we all have been there and lost a fur buddy. Raprap was beautiful.

Thank you, Mighty Orange. He was indeed beautiful. I am in awe at how beautiful all these innocent creatures are that come to our lives and allow us to love them plenty.

 

[moodycatdaddy]

I find what helps Is to channel their energy, their who-ness, if that makes any sense at all. Not so much the memories as their personality. It clings to you, runs through you, and never fades. The joy of who they were will always be there for you, wraps itself warm round your heart, purring. Try reading the poem “When Great Trees Fall,” by Maya Angelou, esp. the final paragraph.

Hi, Margot! Thank you for the recommendation. And yes, it does help to channel their energy. He was a very loving and silly cat. Just thinking about it makes me smile.

 

[moodycatdaddy]

That was an absolutely beautiful tribute!! Raprap was lucky to have you. Thank goodness you kept him.

While your experience and memories are different to mine, like you and most here, I have also had loved cat family members pass.

Some thoughts. Put away the syringe, slowly move his bowl away (wash it and put it in a cupboard that you use, so you see the bowl and the "door" to his memory isn't being closed, but left "open" enough to find a balance between sweet memories and painful ones. You will close the door when you are ready.

Rejoice!!!!!!! Your baby would be saddened to know you are hurting. If you had passed, would you have wanted him to suffer your loss, or rather live life to the fullest each day?

His siblings need you. They can sense your emotions, your sadness and pain. They likely also feel a sense of loss and confusion. Don't let them hurt as well. Love them, cuddle them, spend more time with them. Perhaps take your sense of loss and redirect into making each day of their lives amazing. Give them the life you wanted Raprap to have.

It will be easier in time....and don't worry you will never forget.

Thank you, Purr-fect. I will definitely put away the syringe. Now that I realize it, I find it weird that I haven't done that yet as it brings back so many painful memories. Yes, that's what I don't want my other furbabies to feel. My sadness. I cuddle them as often as I can and make sure they feel loved.

 

[moodycatdaddy]

It's been years since I lost my little Eva, and I still think about her often. There is no timeline for Grief, and no end-date for love.

No-one here will judge you in the slightest.

I DO question your guilt. I see no failing in your actions, no lack of love and care in your words. You did everything and more anyone could expect and you treated your cat with the love and considered due. He trusted you and you rose to it. You loved him until his last breath and beyond. That's our responsibility. When you see syringes and feel the inevitable trigger of grief remember that was your finest moment. You fought for him in his darkest moments. You held his welfare and comfort above everything else.

Wherever he is, I'm sure he'll never forget that, and never stop loving you for it.

Hi Gareth! I'm sorry about your Eva. Yes, you are right. I have to remind myself that I did everything I could for him. Or maybe forgive myself that I couldn't save him. I'm still in the process of doing that. To not think of the what ifs. I'm sure I'll get there someday. Thanks for the kind words.

 

[gareth]

Hi Gareth! I'm sorry about your Eva. Yes, you are right. I have to remind myself that I did everything I could for him. Or maybe forgive myself that I couldn't save him. I'm still in the process of doing that. To not think of the what ifs. I'm sure I'll get there someday. Thanks for the kind words.

Remind yourself that, ultimately, we can NEVER save them. Forgiveness for yourself comes from knowing you did what anyone reasonable would expect from someone that cares for an animal. The very fact that you are on this board, and clearly in pain, suggests very strongly that you did that and more. so be gentle on yourself.