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Is Your Cat A Cuddler?

Discussion in 'The Cat's Meow' started by debbila, Apr 22, 2018.

  1. debbila

    debbila Thread Starter TCS Member Top Cat

    Feb 8, 2016
    Phoenix, AZ
    My cat is not a cuddler, she's not even a lap cat! She will only sit next to me and let me pet her or lay next to me in the bed. She likes to sit on my boyfriend's lap though. :rolleyes:
    How many of you have cats like this? Did you get a cat with this personality and then they changed after some time?

  2. di and bob

    di and bob TCS Member Top Cat

    Dec 12, 2012
    Nebraska, USA
    It seems they all do once they grow out of kittenhood. Just like with humans, they grow independent and not as 'lovey'. With all the cats I've had over 50 plus years, males seem much more lap friendly and affectionate. Females are the enforcers, the rule makers. My soulmate, Chrissy, had the threshold limit of exactly three strokes. Then a slap came,. She did lay on my lap, but on her terms. They often choose one person in the household to give their affections to, I will have three cats on my lap, my husband, one. That being said I now have the most affectionate cat ever, a female (just to prove me wrong) who will get on my lap everytime I sit down and gets right in my face to give kisses and bumps. I have NEVER had a cat this affectionate. She is 4 and was hand raised from two weeks when her mom was killed, I don't know if that has something to do with it.My only hand raised kitten. A study on hand raised kittens, are they more affectionate? Or is it their personalities?
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2018
    foxxycat purraised this.

  3. weebeasties

    weebeasties TCS Member Super Cat

    Jul 14, 2016
    Spike has always been affectionate, but definitely NOT a lap cat. Then suddenly at the age of 9 she decided that she likes my lap! Just mine. She will sit beside my partner, but climbs all over me now. I don't know what caused the change, but it makes me happy.:)

  4. denice

    denice Advisor Staff Member Advisor

    Feb 7, 2006
    Columbus OH
    Yes hand raised kittens are more connected to people, they are often referred to as bottle babies. At a time when they are still dependent on mom cat they are raised by people and that imprinting that happens with mom cat transfers to people. I had one that passed this past January and he was also very connected to me. The people at the vet's office just loved him, people not working with the vet he was seeing that day would come into the exam room to get their 'Patch's fix'.

    The cat that I have now is not a cuddler or lap cat. She will come for her petting and she trills when she gets petted. She will sometimes lay in bed with me as I go to sleep but she doesn't stay there all night.

  5. betsygee

    betsygee Don't believe everything you think. Staff Member Moderator

    Mar 17, 2013
    Monterey, CA, USA
    One of our cats was already 10 when we got her and she was full of tortitude! She was not affectionate at all. She wouldn't sit on our laps for two seconds and we could barely pet her. It's been a long slow process (four years!) but she's become much more affectionate as she's grown older. She still won't sit on our laps for long, but she jumps up on the couch for petting and brushing, and sleeps on my chest at night. :hearthrob:

    They all four seem to go through phases, though, of being more or less affectionate.

  6. kpc1024

    kpc1024 TCS Member Adult Cat

    May 5, 2016
    My cat i took off the street at six months. He was an independent cat. He would chill and didn’t need anything. He loved pets but didn’t seek then out. He was always that way.

  7. DreamerRose

    DreamerRose TCS Member Top Cat

    Dec 11, 2015
    Naperville, IL
    Mingo has never liked to be petted or to lie in my lap. He was very stand-offish. Then I got Lily, who was instantly a lap cat. Every time I sat down, she hopped in my lap.

    As time has gone by, I've noticed Mingo has been copying her behavior. It's like he's jealous of Lily, so he does what she does. He will now lie in my lap, and he encourages being petted. Her effect on him is very nice. Two happy kitties.
    muffy purraised this.

  8. foxxycat

    foxxycat TCS Member Top Cat

    My angel Floey was not a lap cat although if I put her on my lap while on a chair-she would put up with it. She often lay next to me on bed, occasionally stretch out on my hip if I was on my side but rarely came for pets-she was very independent but friendly. She wasn't afraid of strangers.

    When Honeybee came along she got more affectionate almost like she was jealous. Bee was a lap cat from the very start. I too wasn't used to this-she sleeps on my chest at night but during the day she's busy doing her cat things.

    Pumps is not a lap cat at ALL. She will sit next to you=she will sleep next to you but for some reason hates laps-I have had her since she was 8 weeks old-even as a kitten she didn't like being on my lap. I think they are born with their personalities and we can help shape them with training, time or other cats where they can learn behaviors-there's still much to learn about cat personalities.

    my other angel Flash was also not a lap cat-she was friendly but scaredy cat. she slept on my pillow above my head but she wasn't cuddly.
    1CatOverTheLine purraised this.

  9. misty8723

    misty8723 TCS Member Top Cat

    Jan 16, 2006
    North Carolina
    Cricket is very friendly, loves to talk to us, loves being petted, loves hanging around with us -- but will not get on a lap. She will sometimes get on the bed next to me for a few minutes and has just started getting onto the couch when I'm at the computer, so sitting next to me.

    Swanie, who we got in 2005, was an instant lap cat. I will forever remember when he was just here for a few days and I sat down. He flew over the couch and jumped on my lap and started purring. He still will sit on my lap, but it's harder for him to get up there now. He does love to cuddle. If I lay on the bed he will come up and settle in under my arm right next to me. Sometimes he lays on my legs. He used to lay on my stomach, but has a harder time getting up there now, so he settles for legs.

    Cindy I don't recall being a lap cat, but she loved to sleep on DH at night and sometimes me. There were a few times when both Cindy and Swanie were on me.

    Darcy we didn't have very long sadly, and I don't remember about laps, but she loved to lay right up next to you. I do remember her being on DH's knee when we he was sitting on the couch.

  10. cassiopea

    cassiopea TCS Member Top Cat

    May 30, 2013
    Ontario, Canada
    All in all, my kitties are pretty much like glue :lol:

    Meadow: Found her and picked her off the street, literally, last fall. She was riddled with health problems, lung infection, eye infection, ears etc but much better now after her vet visits. Incredibly sweet little lady, dainty, gentle, a huge lap cat. She was about a year old when I found her.

    Morgana: A big lap cat and petting lover, although only under her terms. She is not one where you can just pick her up whenever you want, it is whenever she wants. Still, when she chooses to nestle on your lap or snuggle against your neck in bed she is a sweetie! Her background is of a bottle baby, raised by yours truly. She is also born deaf.

    Tippy Toes: She is the stickiest, cuddlest and gooiest of them all :lol: Adopted her as a kitten. A polydactyl kitty. I was told they have a reputation for being sweet and even tempered generally speaking?

    Camelot: Snuggle bunny, big lap cat. Adopted him from a farm when he was a kitten.

    Liffey: She was a semi feral older kitten who appeared in my barn sometime ago. A ginger. After some time and socializing within the stable I scooped her up and now she is a full time house kitty. She is very social, loves to be petted, and enjoys napping on my lap at night. Granted, she is still pretty skittish with other people, other than my mom.

    Autumn: (Passed away a year ago) Another adoption off the street! An older cat, she was a tortie and had the typical personality. She wasn't one who adored being petted all the time, but she ended up loving being a lap cat, including snuggling with my older dad who was unwell.

    Aside from Camelot, all the girls snuggle with me in bed at night.
    1CatOverTheLine and weebeasties purraised this.

  11. Boris Diamond

    Boris Diamond Cat Valet Top Cat

    Mar 27, 2015
    Diamond is not much of a cuddler, but he does like to sit upright on my lap and get pets. He loves the brain eater - putting my hand on top of his head, mashing his ears down and giving him a full head massage. It's the only way I can distract from biting the comb when I groom his ruff. If I pick him up, he will want down in a minute or less.

    Seal cuddles. He will climb up on my chest and start nuzzling my face until I put my arms around him. Then he curls up and puts the top of his head down against my arm and purrs and purrs. It is bliss. For me, anyway.

    Lilah is a very private cat. She will nuzzle my hand and make biscuits on my chest, but that is as affectionate as she gets. She is a sweet lady, even so.

    Leo likes to jump on my lap and head butt me. Then he wants to curl up in my lap. He likes to stand on my chest when I lie down and will head butt me then. Last week he lay down on my chest with his head against my cheek and did some nuzzling and purring. You can really hear the purring when his head is against your cheek!

    Do others feel as blessed by these shows of affection as I do?
    1CatOverTheLine and weebeasties purraised this.

  12. Moz

    Moz TCS Member Top Cat

    Jun 6, 2006
    Scratch wasn't a cuddler until she was about 10 years old. She slept on the foot of my bed when she was young, but she wouldn't sit on my lap for years and years. Slowly that changed, though, and she learned that sitting on a person's lap wasn't so bad.

    Squee, on the other hand, was never a cuddler. She was friendly, but she was definitely not a lap cat.

    Tango and Indy are cuddly. They don't really sit on laps in a nice little ball as much as they like lying on your chest when you're reclining. :lol:

    Both Indy and Tango were separated from their mothers at 3 and 4 weeks old. That makes me wonder if that's why they're so comfortable around people compared to my past cats, who were not orphaned or separated from their mothers.

  13. Ladysnuggable

    Ladysnuggable Mother of Cats Adult Cat

    Dec 24, 2017
    Sunny California
    My females are less cuddly. My artemis is the big cuddle bug he always wants to be held we also rescued a feral who loves to rest his head on your shoulder when you pick him up its so cute

  14. tara g

    tara g TCS Member Top Cat

    Jul 16, 2007
    On the farm
    Dozer seems to enjoy cuddling with my fiance. Me, he will come walk across, nudge me for pets for a bit, then go lay on my fiance's chest or head.

    I have noticed in my experience my male cats were very affectionate and my females were not so much lol. Monte & Nero were the most affection cats I'd ever been around for sure! Katina couldn't have given a rats booty less.

  15. susanm9006

    susanm9006 Willow Top Cat

    Feb 20, 2011
    Most of mine have enjoyed being picked up, held and cuddled. Current girl will occasionally lay beside me on the sofa and allow some stroking but usually at arms length. At night though she lays right next to me and enjoyed being petted for quite a while

  16. mightyboosh

    mightyboosh TCS Member Top Cat

    Jul 19, 2017
    Burnley, UK
    Oliver was ten when I got him and he was friendly from day one. He wouldn't sit on my lap much, preferring to be near me instead. However over the last couple of months he's turned into superlapcat and is always snuggling in to me usually when I'm trying to type on the site.
    He gets his face next to mine and bows his head slightly so my cheek in resting on the top of his head. I love it and I feel at one with him. It feels like pure love which, of course, is mutual.
    1CatOverTheLine and susanm9006 purraised this.

  17. aliceneko

    aliceneko TCS Member Top Cat

    Dec 28, 2017
    London, England
    Toffee was when we first got him but if you try to cuddle him now, he will usually respond with a bite. He likes cuddles now only when he's tired but is a lap cat. He does love giving kisses though and understands to put his little nose up to mine when I say the word "kiss" to him.
    Fudge, who took more time with cuddles initially, is an absolute cuddler. He loves nothing better than sleeping in a pair of human arms or a tummy tickle.

  18. Lari

    Lari TCS Member Top Cat

    Nov 18, 2017
    I wish. Lelia likes to be in the same room as me, but isn't really a lap kitty, though she will sleep on my legs at night.

    My bf's cat is a definite lap kitty. Maybe Lelia will pick it up from her when the bf and I move in together.

  19. lollie

    lollie TCS Member Young Cat

    Apr 28, 2018
    Koshka (who is four) was never a lap kitty. I could count on one hand the number of times she had voluntarily got on my lap. Then fairly recently, I went away for two days. Ever since, she has wanted on my lap several times a day. Actually made me feel bad. I realized she had been lonely.
    1CatOverTheLine purraised this.

  20. Candybee

    Candybee TCS Member Adult Cat

    Mar 6, 2018
    Shenandoah Valley
    Gypsy is very affectionate and loves to snuggle up and lay down on the pillow I use in bed. She hasn't tried to get on my lap yet but I haven't had her for very long either and she can still be a bit skittish at times. But when she is wanting some love she can be very affectionate and talks about it to me too!

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