Is my cat sad, depressed or sick?

drmroth

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I have a 1year 9 month old cat that I love so much that I adopted from the Humane society when he was probably about 8 weeks old. He was a bottle baby and suckles on my ear at night for a few minutes before bed. I'm home 95% of the time and he was very dependent on me for attention and play time. I bought him all the toys that are out there but he always wants to play with me. He even would grab onto my leg and hang on when I try to walk by. So funny.

After having him for 1.5 years I had never left him alone for more than a few hours but now I had to go out of town for 9 days. I was worried because I knew he wouldn't handle it well. He's scared of people and so even though I hired people to come in to feed him, play with him and take care of him, he didn't interact with them. Although toward the end he did come out once for a little bit to say hi to the caregiver (i guess he was tired of no contact). I have cameras around the house so I was able to watch and see how he was doing. It broke my heart because every night he would sit by the front door just waiting for me to come home. The only thought that gave me comfort was knowing that I was going to get him a friend when I got back to town so that he wouldn't be alone when go away and he would have someone to play with.

Fast forward... I got him his own baby, a 14 week old girl. I kept them apart for about a week, did all the tricks to ensure that they would love each other and I'm so happy to say that they do. They sleep together, clean each other and roll around biting one another. I love seeing them together but at the same time I'm heartbroken that the older cat is mad at me. He doesn't play with any of his toys, (although I'm thinking he has no interest because all he cares about is his new "real" toy), he doesn't bounce off the walls like he used to or come to me when I call him. I don't know why he's still mad at me when he loves her so much. Everything about him is so different and I don't know if it's just because of the change or maybe he's not feeling well. But then I go through the list in my head "he's eating, drinking, normal bathroom, grooming, running around with new kitty, ears and tail are up." It's the look in his eyes, I think he's depressed about me but happy with the new kitty.

Does anybody have any advice? It's only been 1.5 months with the new kitty, will my kitty ever love me again?

 

keyes

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He loves you now.   He's just not totally dependent on you anymore.  That's a good thing.  I'm glad you got him his own "baby".  The next time you have to leave home for a period of time it won't be so hard on him and on you!
 

DreamerRose

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I had the same thing happen when I got my Lily girl. Mingo was so occupied with her that I felt like I had lost him and grieved a lot, resenting his attraction to Lily. Now that four months have gone by, Mingo has turned back in many ways to the constant companion he was before. He still loves to play with Lily, but he follows me around the house like he used to and crawls up on my shoulder to give me head butts. He doesn't romp around so much as before, but he's doing it more.

So don't give up on him yet. He just needs some more time to get used to his new playmate.  Then you will see his affection for you return.
 

catlover73

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He is bonding with his new friend right now.  This is a good thing because he will not be lonely when you are away like he was before.  I have 4 cats and this behavior you are describing has happened to me quite a few times.  Your baby has not stopped loving you at all this is just part of the bonding process between your cats.  In time things will slowly go back to being more normal.  The last time this happened to me was a little over 2 years ago when I adopted Casey as a friend for my 1 year old active Apollo.  Apollo was chasing around my older female and needed a playmate of his own.  Casey was 7 weeks old when he adopted my hubby when we went to buy cat food.  Casey and Apollo bonded very quickly like you described and Apollo pretty much quit spending time with me for a while. He does come and hang out with me again now. While Apollo is not as dependent on me as he used to be he does show he loves me in other ways. Also some cats as they get older like to go through what I call an independent streak. Apollo did this too at one point.  He went from sleeping with us on the bed every night to sleeping by himself on the top of our love seat.  He has gone back to sleeping on our bed but now he sleeps on my hubby instead of sleeping next to me.  He does come and snuggle with me if I am laying in bed watching tv but he sleeps on hubby.  I do not think your baby is still mad at you about being out town.  I think your baby is trying to find his new normal between you and his new friend. This is something that just really seems to have no set time frame.  Just be patient and give your older baby love when he wants it on his terms.  Things will get better but there is no way to give you an exact time frame.
 
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drmroth

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Thanks everybody. I just need to keep hearing that it will be ok - that he'll come around. I just hope that he will.
 
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