Is my cat playing or fighting?

Dandaleyy

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Hi there! I have a 9 month old kitten named Romeo who I’ve had since he was a baby. He is an extremely cuddly playful boy, so I decided to get him a playmate thinking he would love it. Boy do I feel stupid!! He absolutely hates our new Kitten Oscar, I think?? The kitten is 4 months old so they are not far off in age but I’m not sure if Romeo hates or loves him.
Here’s the thing Romeo our resident cat doesn’t growl or hiss or flatten his ears but he stalks Oscar. He doesn’t let his eyes off him for a second and pounces or runs at him every chance he gets, is this aggressive behaviour if there is no hissing? Oscar hates this play and gets very scared of romeo usually hiding under the bed or screaming when romeo catches him.
I’ve set up a screen door between the two and feed than all meals and treats through this. Romeo never gets angry but it’s like he’s preying on Oscar? I’m not sure if I should let them be together and work it out or leave the screen up. Or what I should do next to be honest.
I once got in the middle of one of Romeo’s stalking sessions with Oscar and he attacked my arm pretty bad, he’s never done anything like this before which is why I got the screen.Before he attcked my arm I thought he was just trying to play with Oscar, but ever since this time I’m scared that he’s really being aggressive. Does anyone know what I can do to help this situation or what is going on?
 

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rubysmama

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Normally that type of interaction between kittens is play, or play fighting. And it can look rough, with one cat squealing and running off.

When Oscar runs and hides under the bed, does he quickly come back out for more "fun"? Or does he stay there until Romeo is gone. Does he try to avoid Romeo, or does he sometimes search him out.

How long have you had Oscar? And did you do a total separation at first, followed by a slow introduction? Also, is Romeo neutered?
 
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Dandaleyy

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Thanks for your reply! No Oscar doesn’t come back out, he does seem very scared when Romeo does this. He will usually growl and tell romeo to back off, but of course he doesn’t. Romeo will try to go under the couch with him. But I always separate them when this happens.
I’ve had Oscar for about three weeks now. He is very settled in and plays and acts normal when romeo isn’t around. They had a slow introduction and everything seemed to be going fine but Oscar suddenly became scared of Romeo, and only hides now when he is around. Romeo is neutered but has only been for a week now, so I’m sure there’s still plenty of hormones running through him. Do you think they stalking behaviours will calm down in a few weeks?
 

FeebysOwner

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Hi. As asked above, how long had you had Oscar? Usually, kittens this age will adapt well to one another, but there are always occasions when that is not the case. In addition to the information and questions above, a more formal introduction process might be needed to just get Oscar more comfortable in his new surroundings so that he is not as intimidated by Romeo. A new home, freedom to run a large area, and dealing with another kitten who wants to stalk is a lot to take on at once, even for a young kitten! Likelihood is that Romeo is wanting to play, and Oscar just needs more time to understand that.
How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home – TheCatSite Articles
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles

EDIT: The neutering so recently could very well be influencing things right now!
 
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Dandaleyy

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Hi. As asked above, how long had you had Oscar? Usually, kittens this age will adapt well to one another, but there are always occasions when that is not the case. In addition to the information and questions above, a more formal introduction process might be needed to just get Oscar more comfortable in his new surroundings so that he is not as intimidated by Romeo. A new home, freedom to run a large area, and dealing with another kitten who wants to stalk is a lot to take on at once, even for a young kitten! Likelihood is that Romeo is wanting to play, and Oscar just needs more time to understand that.
How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home – TheCatSite Articles
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles

EDIT: The neutering so recently could very well be influencing things right now!
Thank you for your reply! It’s been about three weeks since we’ve had Oscar. They have been separated since romeo got neutered. I’ve been giving him some time to heal before I try to reintroduce. Oscar seems comfortable and happy in the house until he is met with romeo. They have seen each other through the screen door however and it’s the same behaviour as before. Romeo won’t take his eyes off Oscar, it seems innocent as he doesn’t growl or hiss but I just can’t tell if it’s aggression or play. Does stalking behaviour ever equal aggression?
 

FeebysOwner

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Does stalking behaviour ever equal aggression?
It could, but I would not assume that just yet. Given Romeo's recent neutering, he has been through a bit himself. Let hormones settle, devise an introduction plan that keeps them separate with the screen door, but swapping locations frequently which gives both of them time to roam your home without being distracted by the other one.
 

rubysmama

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I wonder if a form of non-recognition occurred due to Romeo going to the vet to be neutered?
How To Deal With Non-recognition Aggression In Cats | TheCatSite

If that's the case, you could try the vanilla extract trick.
Ode to vanilla extract

However, you might have to do a complete separation, and restart the introductions.
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles

As for is it playing or fighting, there's some pics and videos in this article that show the difference.
Are My Cats Fighting Or Playing? – TheCatSite Articles
 

Alldara

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Thanks for your reply! No Oscar doesn’t come back out, he does seem very scared when Romeo does this. He will usually growl and tell romeo to back off, but of course he doesn’t. Romeo will try to go under the couch with him. But I always separate them when this happens.
I’ve had Oscar for about three weeks now. He is very settled in and plays and acts normal when romeo isn’t around. They had a slow introduction and everything seemed to be going fine but Oscar suddenly became scared of Romeo, and only hides now when he is around. Romeo is neutered but has only been for a week now, so I’m sure there’s still plenty of hormones running through him. Do you think they stalking behaviours will calm down in a few weeks?
Sorry I'm seeing that they had a 3 week introduction from your post above. This is actually a very quick introduction!

During re-introduction give Oscar lots of time to observe Romeo's play with toys. Cats from different homes are like having two children who don't speak the same language. They're learning one another's language and likely can still play, but will play better once they learn how the other one 'speaks'.

Keep giving lots of breaks until Oscar is the same size and can hold his own against Romeo.

If Oscar hides and Romeo is still in pursuit, separate them and give Romeo a 'time out' in another place if he's hyper focused. Ensure that Romeo is getting some human-cat playtime to get that extra energy out.

It's very normal for young male cats to be a bit more agressive to new kittens. 2-3 weeks post-neutering he will have less testosterone so it helps 😸 However, likely he will still need to learn to be gentle. You can help by playing with him an extra bit, getting some kicker toys for him and generally stopping the play or distracting them if it gets too rough.
 
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