Is my cat playing or being a bully?

JenRiri

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Jul 4, 2020
Messages
6
Purraise
2
About a month ago we got a new kitty. We currently have an older resident cat. The introduction process went generally well. After about a week they've been able to coexist in the same space without much trouble. On occasion the resident cat gets a little grumpy if the kitty gets a bit over zealous, but that typically escalates no further than a warning hiss from him before walking away from kitty. They eat next to each other and nap near each other almost daily (no cuddling yet).

That said, about 2-3 times a day they'll do a bit of a routine where I believe it's mostly play, but I'm also not entirely sure If this is just weird cat rough housing or my resident cat being a bully. A session usually last a few minutes before they go back to doing their own thing. I managed to capture a snippet here: - can anyone help demystify this for me? Do I intervene?

It never escalates further than what is captured in that video and often times our resident cat will also run away as well before re-engaging. There's never any hissing or growling either. The kitty will often poke back out after a few seconds of hiding and re-engage the resident cat too. She doesn't seem to be in major distress but his rough housing does seem to intimidate her at times. It seems like she has learned to hold back because she's aware of how much bigger and stronger he is but also can't help herself sometimes lol.
 

bikeman

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Aug 21, 2005
Messages
341
Purraise
110
Location
Chicago suburbs
Has the older male cat ever had a prior cat mate in the house? If so, how did that go? Do you cut the older cat's claws? I'd be wary of unintended injuries with super sharp nails. Can you leave the two unattended for long periods of time without worry, I mean, other than what's in the video?

Most of that interaction looks kinda sort of normal, if a bit rough. The noises cats make can seem worse to humans than they do to cats. I'd say the older cat is very solidly establishing it's alpha cat-ness and dominance. They all do that, especially with new introductions. As the younger cat gets bigger and stronger, things could change / will change /and possibly reverse the alpha relationship - or it will trade off every now and then.

Do check for injuries, no matter how small, on both, and often. At least you'll have an idea of any running physical changes when you can't watch them. The fact that they can eat together and sleep near each other is a very good sign.

I've got two that are OK with each other, and a newer young ex-feral that can't be anywhere near the other two because he'd kill them, so they are physically separated on different floors. Alone, they're fine. That you have two that are mostly OK together, as long as things don't go downhill fast, you have a situation that I'd envy, actually.

Cats are pretty resilliant to rough play. You might find patches of fur here and there and that is borderline normal, as long as there isn't blood. I still find this to be true of our two old girls (15 and 16), even though they are best friends.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #3

JenRiri

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Jul 4, 2020
Messages
6
Purraise
2
Has the older male cat ever had a prior cat mate in the house? If so, how did that go? Do you cut the older cat's claws? I'd be wary of unintended injuries with super sharp nails. Can you leave the two unattended for long periods of time without worry, I mean, other than what's in the video?
Thank you for the insight and tips! I did get a feeling that the resident cat was very much trying to establish dominance. He's never had a cat mate in his life (he's 9 now), so we had/have no reference point prior to bringing the kitty in. And yes, his nails are trimmed often! Thankfully, his nails always seem retracted when engaging with the kitty. I think at this point it's still too early for us to leave them unattended for more than a few hours, but that mostly stems from me being overly anxious. The few times we've left them unattended (Anywhere 1-4 hours), they've been just fine.
 

ArtNJ

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jun 1, 2017
Messages
5,485
Purraise
6,957
Its definitely play. The size difference is massive, and your 9 year old is not holding back as much as we'd like, so it doesn't look right. Its a pretty common scenario, especially when the resident cat is more like a year. Its ok if the kitten squeals and runs, as long as the kitten comes back soon enough and doesn't seem to hold a grudge or be afraid of the big one. In other words, you can let the kitten be your guide. If the kitten comes back, the discomfort is on the order of big brother giving a head noogie. Its uncomfortable, and little bro may call for mom and/or run away, but no serious harm is done.

If the kitten is underage, and the big one is playing this roughly, sometimes its best to wait until more like 12 weeks (they gain 50% in size from 8 to 12 weeks) but generally speaking, it looks a lot worse than it is. The big one IS holding back and has no intent to actually injure the kitten.

Although its play in the video, big cats do sometimes pin a kitten when its being a PITA to teach it manners. This is actually a good thing. A lot of older cats that are unwilling or unable to do that actually struggle greatly with kittens, appearing seriously stressed.

This seems to be doing quite well. It very much doesn't always go this way when the resident is this age. You have more than a little luck here.
 
Top