Is He Aggressive Or Is She A Cry Baby?

[2rescuekitties]

As some of you may know I have two cats. A female cat named Stella, and a male cat named Toby.

Stella is a little over a year old, and Toby just recently turned 1. So I wanted to ask you guys for your opinion on this.... Stella isn't much for rough housing, and I try to play with Toby a lot to get his energy out. Sometimes though, he likes to make a run for her and almost like a wrestler jump and grab her by the neck with his paws and then he flips over her and tries to wrestle. Or he just sometimes makes a run for her and will lay on her and try to wrestle with her grabbing her neck or tummy.

Sometimes she plays along, but most of the time this is when the growling and hissing starts with Stella. She growls at his and hisses at him (he usually doesn't get the hint) and then jumps onto the cat tree.

Now, it's confusing because there are plenty of times that she chases him, or stalks and scares him and then wrestles him down or pins him....And he also goes up to her a lot and head butts her and they lick each other, mutual grooming and all of that..

So my question is...It Toby hurting her when she hisses and growls like that? Or is she just being a cry baby knowing that I will make Toby stop?

 

[susanm9006]

I don’t think she is being hurt, so yes, a crybaby. It may not be to get your attention though but rather to get his. Despite the hisses, from your description they sound like friends. I would stay out of it and let them sort it themselves

 

[2rescuekitties]

I don’t think she is being hurt, so yes, a crybaby. It may not be to get your attention though but rather to get his. Despite the hisses, from your description they sound like friends. I would stay out of it and let them sort it themselves

Okay, I was thinking so since she also does instigate sometimes, but he is also about 6 pounds heavier than her and taller and longer so I am not sure if he's rough or not. Poor guy now I feel bad that I intervene

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Don't feel bad about it. He'll get over it! Yeah, she just wants to play rough on her own terms, not his! They'll sort it out. So long as there's no blood on the floor or fur in the air, all is well!

 

[2rescuekitties]

Don't feel bad about it. He'll get over it! Yeah, she just wants to play rough on her own terms, not his! They'll sort it out. So long as there's no blood on the floor or fur in the air, all is well!

So even if i hear growling and hissing coming from her? And he gets this playful twitch to his tail too chasing and stalking her liked the annoying little brother who likes to torment his sister

 

[Cquinn1021]

I had the same issue. But, my Mizzy, was 8 weeks and our Dude was 4/5 yrs. At first it was a dominance thing, then a more " teaching " thing. Like how to "cat". Now they just love to attract, pounce, lick, nap with each other. I thought he was beating her up and intervened. But when she stopped being the victim and started being the attacker..I left them be.

 

[Gizmobius]

I'm going through this exact thing too. Sometimes my boy won't even let Stevie run away before he pounces on her again. And fur doesn't necessarily "fly" but there are some small little bits that end up on the carpet or in their mouths. I know he's just playing because I got him at 10 weeks old and he never learned the social cues of other cats to tell him when to stop playing so rough but goodness, he has 4lbs on poor Stevie and I always feel bad! I guess I have to just stop breaking them up.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

So even if i hear growling and hissing coming from her? And he gets this playful twitch to his tail too chasing and stalking her liked the annoying little brother who likes to torment his sister

Yep, even if. She's just telling him she is NOT amused. And it may come down to a swat or two. She's going to teach him some manners, at some point, OR, she may need a place to retreat to. Cat trees are great for that. The less you do, the sooner they will work out a plan for peaceful coexistence.

 

[Yanaka]

Mine are doing this, too! More often than not they run and play together a lot, but sometimes she hides and growls at him. I try to separate them at some point even if it means locking him out of my room if that's where we are and she's hiding, because I'm worried he doesn't listen to her clear communication to stop. He can be really annoying and rude. But as soon as I throw him out (just exaggerating for the image, here!) she goes to the door and looks for him XD so I guess it's us humans worrying too much!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

It really is, you know. And that's natural to us, and quite puzzling to them.

 

[2rescuekitties]

Yep, even if. She's just telling him she is NOT amused. And it may come down to a swat or two. She's going to teach him some manners, at some point, OR, she may need a place to retreat to. Cat trees are great for that. The less you do, the sooner they will work out a plan for peaceful coexistence.

I gave in and interfered last night I will try not to do that anymore though because you're right I think Stella uses me as her own personal body guard and poor Toby is like "maannn i just want to play"
Their new set of toys arrived today though, so hopefully i can get both of them super pooped out tonight haha

 

[Yanaka]

Do they usually play in the same room you're in? Mine follow me everywhere all the time (or almost) so of course they play rough in front of me and I tend to intervene. I try looking away or changing rooms (which makes them stop anyway) right before I can't take it anymore (same when he sticks his head in her butt and goes to town, I hate it and try to distract myself or do whatever that isn't direct interference.....)

 

[Gizmobius]

(same when he sticks his head in her butt and goes to town, I hate it and try to distract myself or do whatever that isn't direct interference.....)

Oh my god, Gizmo does that too! I'm like dude, do you have no tact? Stevie tends to give him a hiss and a swat for that.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

LOL, "cats" and "tact" should never be used in the same sentence, EVER!

 

[maggiedemi]

Hi. How are things going? Do Toby & Thomas fight at all?

 

[wealthy1]

Oh my god, Gizmo does that too! I'm like dude, do you have no tact? Stevie tends to give him a hiss and a swat for that.

Buddy does the same thing to Missy. I’m like UGH!!!

But they fight (play) as well. Mind you Missy weighs 5 pounds and Buddy is about 7 or 8. I intervene when it gets to bad.

As long as there’s no reason to rush them to the vet. I let them do what they do.