Is Adopting A Cat Now Really A Good Decision?

[bugmankeith]

My girlfriend just moved and got her own rental apartment and has never been able to own a pet growing up and family who had pets had dogs. She has been volunteering at her local animal shelter for a month and is starting work there part time. But in all honesty she barely has enough money to feed herself and pay rent until she is able to work full time.

Since volunteering at the shelter she decided she wants to adopt a cat for a pet. I understand why she wants to, but I feel she isn’t ready for a pet both in experience and lack of finances, and it’s frustrating because she disagrees.

She thought cats only live 8 years, this cat she wants to adopt is 6 with health issues, he has been overlooked for months.
I tried helping her on what to buy, and understandably all products she got are the cheapest; including food, she said it’s all she could afford but doesn’t see an issue. This to me is one reason I feel she isn’t ready for a pet because she has no money. She already bought all supplies not even considering they may not even let her adopt. She hasn’t looked for a vet and has no idea how expensive it is yearly. She knows the basics for cat care but lack of ever being around a cat she should know more information I feel.

I’m in a tough dilemma because I know she is lonely right now and wants a pet, now that she can have one finally. But, financially and experience wise I think she should wait and this cat she wants has medical issues so it’s already going to need hundreds for vet bills upon adoption. She almost got kicked out for not paying rent last month and if she adopts this cat and can’t afford rent it will just be returned back to the shelter She just won’t listen to reason and I’ve owned multiple cats for over 20 years, I know how much is involved in their care and it’s not as simple as she makes it out to be.

 

[Kieka]

I say this with love.... you need to let your girlfriend make her own mistakes.

She is an adult, she lives on her own, you've given her your advice on the situation, now you need to step back and let her be. It sounds like it is a no kill shelter and the cat will be able to go back if things go sideways. Cats can live happy lives without what we'd consider the best food and best supplies. Maybe the shelter is helping with medical expenses too or she will be able to use their vet. Maybe you are right and everything will go wrong. But you could be wrong and she could be able to manage it.

If there is one thing I've learned in life it is we can't fix everything or be responsible for other people's choices. Sometimes the only thing we can do is step back and let them fall. In falling they will learn how to do differently next time; or they won't. But once you've said your words on the subject it is up to the other person to make their life choices.

I know how hard it is to know the cat may suffer for her poor choices. I know how hard it is to see others suffer when we think we knew the "right" path. But if we insist on always correcting and carrying other people in life they will never learn for themselves. It hurts to see those we love suffer for their own poor choices, but that is also how they learn to stand on their own.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

What you can do is mention that you've found a site with a lot of experienced people on it who can answer any questions she might have. Sometimes hard truths come better from strangers, simply because they don't, so to speak, have a horse in that race.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

My girlfriend just moved and got her own rental apartment and has never been able to own a pet growing up and family who had pets had dogs. She has been volunteering at her local animal shelter for a month and is starting work there part time. But in all honesty she barely has enough money to feed herself and pay rent until she is able to work full time.

Since volunteering at the shelter she decided she wants to adopt a cat for a pet. I understand why she wants to, but I feel she isn’t ready for a pet both in experience and lack of finances, and it’s frustrating because she disagrees.

She thought cats only live 8 years, this cat she wants to adopt is 6 with health issues, he has been overlooked for months.
I tried helping her on what to buy, and understandably all products she got are the cheapest; including food, she said it’s all she could afford but doesn’t see an issue. This to me is one reason I feel she isn’t ready for a pet because she has no money. She already bought all supplies not even considering they may not even let her adopt. She hasn’t looked for a vet and has no idea how expensive it is yearly. She knows the basics for cat care but lack of ever being around a cat she should know more information I feel.

I’m in a tough dilemma because I know she is lonely right now and wants a pet, now that she can have one finally. But, financially and experience wise I think she should wait and this cat she wants has medical issues so it’s already going to need hundreds for vet bills upon adoption. She almost got kicked out for not paying rent last month and if she adopts this cat and can’t afford rent it will just be returned back to the shelter She just won’t listen to reason and I’ve owned multiple cats for over 20 years, I know how much is involved in their care and it’s not as simple as she makes it out to be.

B bugmankeith -
I would keep trying to give her your advice and wisdom. We do not just learn things in life ONLY by making our own mistakes at the cost of innocent lives but also by having loved ones around us that have experienced certain things, have wisdom and foresight to help us make better decisions. It makes no sense to me to just get a cat when one is not able to afford it, especially one with health issues which indeed take more money than one can realize. If she has that 6-yr-old unhealthy cat in mind, one who has been acclimated to the shelter life for a while, again, it makes no sense to me to adopt that cat when you cannot care for it for its lifetime, and just have the loophole of bringing it back to the shelter when you have been kicked out of your apartment from not being able to make your rent payments or give it proper health care. That would be really stress-inducing for the cat!

The best thing that can happen to her, if you do choose to sit back and let her learn her own life's lessons, is that the shelter is a GOOD shelter, a responsible one, which will not home a cat to a person and household which obviously cannot care well for the cat long term. (You did say, "[she is] ... not even considering they may not even let her adopt. ...")

It's great she is volunteering at the shelter now, and when she is there longer than the one month she's been there, maybe her eyes will begin to open up more about caring for animals long term!

 

[Pjg8r]

I didn’t read everything, but could she foster from the shelter where she volunteers? That way she gets companionship without the expense.

 

[molly92]

I think fostering would be an excellent option! The shelter pays for supplies, food, and vet care, and the foster houses and takes care of the animal and provides all necessary transportation. Many people choose to foster when they aren't in a position to have an animal of their own. Foster homes are good for animals that don't do well in a shelter environment for health or personality reasons. There are also many organizations that are smaller scale and operate entirely out of foster homes because they do not have a building.

I think you should discourage your girlfriend from adopting her own cat right now. The part you mentioned where she thought cats only live 8 years really makes me worry-an 8 year lifespan is tragically short for a cat. A 6 year old cat may still have 15 years left and she needs to be prepared for that. It does sound like she has no idea what she's getting into.

You can skim through these forums and see a sampling of all of the problems that crop up that require expensive vet visits and medications. It's not a matter of if, but when. And like I think you realize, trying to save money on cheap supplies can become costly later-cheap food leads to long term health problems, cheap flea medications can have dangerous side effects, etc.

It sounds like she's young and has many years of pet ownership ahead of her. She can wait a bit until she's financially stable. I hope she starts to understand thar, and do look into fostering as an alternative! If this shelter doesn't do fostering there might be others in your area so ask around!

 

[Furballsmom]

I'm another who thinks fostering is an awesome idea and solution. I don't know if the shelter gives any instructions or communicates much, but if so, she'll learn about how to care for a cat, and have companionship as well

 

[basschick]

our cat is 19, going on 20, and we spend $700 a month including his food, his medications and vet care. you might want to pass that on to your GF.