Introductions With Two Scaredy Cats

[di and bob]

Everything is really going OK. Cats just take a LONG time to get used and accept each other. Just keep doing what you are doing. Chai is still too uncertain of herself. She needs some extra reassurance. Keep interchanging any blankets they sleep on, and most of all, just mainly ignore them and let them get to know each other at their own pace. No outright attacks is a very good sign that things will work out. For a while there may be a little growling, hissing or wailing if one comes into the other's personal space, but even that will get better. In a year they will be buddies!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

di and bob is (are?) right! This is just going to take time, and they are actually doing better than it seems to you right now.

 

[rosegold]

Thanks so much for the reassurance!

I decided to finalize the adoption and trust that they will come around eventually. It actually made me feel better and took some of the pressure off—we now have all the time in the world to make this work!

 

[dustydiamond1]

Thanks so much for the reassurance!

I decided to finalize the adoption and trust that they will come around eventually. It actually made me feel better and took some of the pressure off—we now have all the time in the world to make this work!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Best news EVER! YES! And we will be with you, every step of the way!

 

[rosegold]

Mamanyt1953 Thank you so much!!! I am so grateful for this site! I truly need all the advice (and emotional support) I can get!

I am still leaving the bathroom door open and letting Chai explore at night. She usually uses Chilli’s litterbox while she’s out—I’m not sure if that’s a territorial thing, or she likes pooping in a separate one, or just decided to use it since it’s there, or what. Either way Chilli is still using her box normally (even with Chai’s poop in there), and doesn’t seem skittish of the area, so I guess it’s fine.

Chilli’s “sentinel watch” at night has improved as well. Even though she knows the other cat is exploring down there and still wants to watch if she hears the litterbox digging, she calms down much more quickly afterwards. The first night she was pacing the loft back and forth anxiously all night; last night she watched for a bit and then came back to purr and cuddle with me in bed.

Chilli overall seems less scared now and more jealous. If I’m hanging out with the new cat in the bathroom too long, she meows at me and stampedes around the house (literally running up and down the stairs as loudly as possible) trying to get me to come out. So we’re increasing playtime and making sure she gets lots of loves and reassurance.

Chai has also finally started using her scratcher and seems to love it! I can now pet her on the head and face carefully with my hand while she’s eating treats, and all over her body with a wand toy. She is very neat and well behaved compared to my wild child’s shenanigans. She eats her food and grooms herself no problem with Chilli yelling like a maniac right outside the door.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Mamanyt1953 Thank you so much!!! I am so grateful for this site! I truly need all the advice (and emotional support) I can get!

Darlin', that's what we're here for! We love all cats, and we love those who want the best for their own cats. It makes for a bond, you know.

You really are progressing well with these two! I forsee a calm and peaceful home before too very long! And we'll be here for any little hiccups along the way...those can happen, and aren't the end of the world.

 

[rosegold]

Cats are being much more chill with each other today. We had another "meeting." This time Chai had come fully out of her box and was lying on her rug in the bathroom (quite good progress for her considering all the lights were on and I was close by!). She meowed a few times at Chilli who glanced at her for a minute and then ignored her. I was there to supervise and this time both cats seemed much more at ease (hope it's not my wishful thinking getting in the way!). Both cats would break eye contact with each other if I talked to them, compared to the intense staring of before. Both cats had more relaxed pupils instead of huge and dilated. Chilli had a happier, calmer tail and rubbed on my hand when I offered it and decided to play instead of staring at the other cat. Both cats are also getting more comfortable eating closer together--not quite at the point where they can see each other plainly and eat, but definitely comfortable with being in each other's general vicinity and eating...

Slowly but surely... emphasis on slowly... I have to acknowledge these tiny improvements so I don't go crazy...

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Excellent! I think that if you took the time to go back to the very beginning of this thread, and listed all of these "tiny" improvements, it might help you realize just how far you and they have actually come!

 

[rosegold]

I have a question about the meowing at one another. Lately if Chai hears/sees Chilli near the bathroom door, and if I’m not nearby, she will meow at her. Chilli hasn’t been meowing back, just listening (and occasionally spooking and retreating a bit). Is this Chai being aggressive or territorial over her bathroom, or is it her wanting to bond and say hello? I thought cats don’t typically meow at each other unless they want to fight, so I was concerned... It seems like a really basic “meow.” Similar to what was in the other video. Not an angry yowl by any means but also not a super-soft chirp.

Both cats still eating food well within smell, sound, and occasionally sight of each other.

I know Chai was great with all the cats in the shelter and frequently cuddled up to them. But I’m still feeling paranoid.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

If it just a "basic meow" then I wouldn't read more into it other than, "I'm here, where are you?" sort of thing. Watch for lashing tails, ears back, whiskers pinned to cheeks...those are sure signs of agitation.

 

[rosegold]

If it just a "basic meow" then I wouldn't read more into it other than, "I'm here, where are you?" sort of thing. Watch for lashing tails, ears back, whiskers pinned to cheeks...those are sure signs of agitation.

Okay! There definitely isn't any of that that I can tell. There haven't been any stareoffs recently either. Today Chilli walked past the bathroom doorway without a single glance to investigate a box in the hallway, and was happy to eat treats quietly on the open door threshold while Chai meowed at her. A few cautious glances but no intense staring.

Even after Chilli walked away, Chai kept meowing--at me I suppose as she was staring right at me! My best guess at a translation is: "Human, I really want to meet that cat and eat those treats, but you're too scary and I can't come out of my box!"

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Well, that or, "HEY! See that other cat? I think I might get along with that other cat, what do you think?"

 

[rosegold]

Help! We just had a very odd update and I have no idea what to make of it, but I don't think it's good.

I came home today (spent a few more hours than usual away from home, but otherwise no difference) and both cats were fine and chill. Got slow blinks from Chai and usual greetings from Chilli. Went to feed them near each other as we've been doing regularly and Chai surprisingly came out of her box with me nearby to groom herself. Great confidence on her part! Then she caught sight of Chilli, there was a bit of staring, and Chai was meowing at her nonstop.

P.S. Both these videos are after Chilli was out of sight in the other room. The first video Chai is lying funny because she's missing a front leg on the other side; the second video she's licking her lips I think because I just fed her a treat. She wasn't licking her lips before that.



This meowing has been sort of escalating each time, but usually she stops after Chilli leaves. But this time she kept on meowing loudly and has seemed quite insistent. It's been half an hour at least and she's still at it. She keeps poking her head out of the cracked door, which she has NEVER done before--always too afraid of me! She accepted treats, and would calm down if I pet her with the petting stick, but otherwise has kept meowing. I don't know whether to interpret it as stress/agitation because in the past, all her stress responses have been to hunker down and hide silently. I decided to close the door and turn on the radio near her to see if she will calm down. But she's still meowing behind the door.

Chilli, to her credit, has been very chill about it. Occasionally curious and glancing over, but after the initial staring she's been playing, eating, lounging in her usual places despite the incessant meowing.

Is it aggression? Is it fear? Is she yelling at me or at Chilli? Still zero hissing, growling, or posturing. Just stares and meowing. The meows seem loud to me, but Chilli meows with tiny squeaks, so perhaps I'm not used to it. Maybe there has been a vocal cat hidden in Chai all along, waiting for some confidence to come out, but this is the first time in three weeks she's meowed this much. I gave her some Composure liquid in her wet food and I'm hoping that might help calm her down so I can go to sleep (it's 11pm here!).

Any insight on this would be great. I'm not going to be home during most of the day for the rest of the week, and this is stressing me out.

 

[Hellenww]

Chai doesn't looked stressed. Ears forward, eyes not dilated, and even exposing some belly while laying down. I almost wonder if she is trying to work up the courage to come out.

 

[rosegold]

Chai doesn't looked stressed. Ears forward, eyes not dilated, and even exposing some belly while laying down. I almost wonder if she is trying to work up the courage to come out.

Oh, do you think? That would be awesome. She has been so quiet for three weeks, and I was so shocked by her being suddenly, incessantly loud and confident that I assumed something must be wrong.

But yeah, I wondered if she might be “talking” about something other than Chilli, just because Chilli’s reaction was so calm. It seems like if the meowing was very clearly “hey, bad cat, go away, I hate that cat,” Chilli would’ve reacted more than she did. I would love if it was more along the lines of “that cat is out there? I want to be out there!” but then I feel like I’m humanizing her a bit.

 

[Hellenww]

Since she quiets down when petted maybe she getting more lonely than scared. Can you call to her from other parts of the house when she's meowing? Maybe she'll come out soon.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Oh, do you think? That would be awesome. She has been so quiet for three weeks, and I was so shocked by her being suddenly, incessantly loud and confident that I assumed something must be wrong.

But yeah, I wondered if she might be “talking” about something other than Chilli, just because Chilli’s reaction was so calm. It seems like if the meowing was very clearly “hey, bad cat, go away, I hate that cat,” Chilli would’ve reacted more than she did. I would love if it was more along the lines of “that cat is out there? I want to be out there!” but then I feel like I’m humanizing her a bit.

I've no experience with multiple cats but want to lend some moral support .
Heck until Gypsy entered our lives two years ago as the neighborhood stray, I nor Scott, had any experience with indoor animals. I grew up with lots of outdoor animals (no cats however) and my instincts worked well introducing her to indoor life

 

[rubysmama]

I didn't realize you had this 2nd thread till you posted the link in your other one. Happy to see that Chai's adoption is official. Now just need time and patience for her and Chili to become best buds.

 

[Hellenww]

I saw you're leaving the bathroom door open at night. Have your tried leaving it open while you're out yet? If that makes you too nervous just got out for a few hrs the first time. Maybe dinner or movie or a little shopping.

 

[rosegold]

I saw you're leaving the bathroom door open at night. Have your tried leaving it open while you're out yet? If that makes you too nervous just got out for a few hrs the first time. Maybe dinner or movie or a little shopping.

I haven’t yet... next time I have a couple hours to spare, maybe I’ll try it. Right now I am leaving the door cracked while I’m gone so they can see and smell each other if they want.

It wouldn’t surprise me if Chai is very bored in there. She doesn’t really play with toys and it’s a pretty tiny room. She likes her scratcher and has been using that often, but other than that she has nothing to do and no cats to interact with. It makes me sad to lock her in there when I’m gone, but until she decides she’s brave enough to come out I can’t really do anything. I tried dragging her out once (site-swapping) and that was very counter-productive. I guess leaving the door open when I’m gone would be a good idea. I’m just nervous that I can’t monitor the two of them. I thought about looking into a pet cam but they’re probably expensive...