Introductions not working help

[EmilyMLG]

It’s been 3 months since we’ve got Ginge (male Castrated) but he still isn’t getting along with our first cat Mya (female neutered).
We’ve done slow introductions, the plugs in, calming treats, they can eat separately in the same room but as soon as there is no food distractions do not work for Ginge.
Trying to do a room introduction Mya literally walked by gave him no attention next thing Ginge has jumped on top of Mya and it was a proper cat fight - no one got hurt.
But three months and he’s still being aggressive, do I need to think about finding Ginge a new home - does he need to be living in an only cat household?
I don’t want to rehome him but it’s not fair he is in the kitchen whilst we are out and asleep and it’s not fair on Mya long upstairs and being attacked in her house.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi
How old is he?
What happens if you let the interaction happen? You may need to do this, my estimation is that given the chance, Mya will teach him how to behave, but that doesn't occur all in one go, --she'll likely need to remind him more than once.

 

[ArtNJ]

Also, what made it a "proper cat fight"? Was there screaming, hissing or growling? Fur pulled out? Rolling around while making noise? Just asking because sometimes it turns out that folks can get confused about whether or not the action is a proper cat fight. Generally speaking, if the aggressor is silent, there is a decent chance its not a real cat fight. A silent aggressor is usually a clue that there is something else going on.

 

[FeebysOwner]

How long has it been since Ginge was neutered? I know as of the first of September he had not yet been. I also read in your previous thread that you called him a semi-feral; I think because he was an outdoor cat on a farm that had to deal with a multitude of dogs. So, he hasn't had the best of times in the past, and probably still has some anxiety/'old habits' from how he lived before, especially with him since being neutered and also having had to deal with coming into a home right at the time you lost Luna. A lot going on! And that applies to Mya as well.

How old is Ginge? The older the cat - particularly one with a past life like his - is not likely to adapt quickly. Sometimes, it can take cats months and months. Knowing what these 'fights' are like is helpful too, just to understand how serious - or harmless - they are. It might take something a bit more potent in terms of calming agents to help him get used to his new life - you can ask the vet about this aspect.

Did you do the baby gate/blockade in between areas so that they could see each other but not get to the other one, and then swap their locations as well? I don't know if anything in this TCS article will help but it is worth looking at it anyway.
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles

 

[EmilyMLG]

How long has it been since Ginge was neutered? I know as of the first of September he had not yet been. I also read in your previous thread that you called him a semi-feral; I think because he was an outdoor cat on a farm that had to deal with a multitude of dogs. So, he hasn't had the best of times in the past, and probably still has some anxiety/'old habits' from how he lived before, especially with him since being neutered and also having had to deal with coming into a home right at the time you lost Luna. A lot going on! And that applies to Mya as well.

How old is Ginge? The older the cat - particularly one with a past life like his - is not likely to adapt quickly. Sometimes, it can take cats months and months. Knowing what these 'fights' are like is helpful too, just to understand how serious - or harmless - they are. It might take something a bit more potent in terms of calming agents to help him get used to his new life - you can ask the vet about this aspect.

Did you do the baby gate/blockade in between areas so that they could see each other but not get to the other one, and then swap their locations as well? I don't know if anything in this TCS article will help but it is worth looking at it anyway.
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles

It’s been a month since he had been neutered (thankfully no problem with healing - after we got him back he jumped the baby gate and chased after Mya). Think he’s around 5 or 6 not got a lot of detail about his background unfortunately. The last fight Ginge jumped on top of Mya and they were both howling and proper hissing, Ginge had pinned Mya down on the floor so she couldn’t move.
Yeah got the baby gate on the stairs and do feeding time there - we’ve had times where I’ve given them both tuna and had the gate door open - Mya about 4 steps higher then Ginge with no fights - Ginge moved into the kitchen with no prompt after eating but interactions like that happen maybe once a week if we are lucky.
Swapped locations and done scent swapping both have separate feeding areas and there own litter trays - I’ve even swapped litter trays around so they can smell each other more.

 

[EmilyMLG]

Also, what made it a "proper cat fight"? Was there screaming, hissing or growling? Fur pulled out? Rolling around while making noise? Just asking because sometimes it turns out that folks can get confused about whether or not the action is a proper cat fight. Generally speaking, if the aggressor is silent, there is a decent chance its not a real cat fight. A silent aggressor is usually a clue that there is something else going on.

The last fight (happened tonight) Mya likes to go in the kitchen and smell Ginge - we let Ginge see her go in and then let him go in once she is up on the cabinets - but Ginge jumped on top of Mya and they were both howling and proper hissing, Ginge had pinned Mya down on the floor so she couldn’t move. His hackles were up and Was doing a deep growl whilst on top.
He’s not a silent aggressor always vocal with Mya - he doesn’t meow but yowls and hisses.

 

[EmilyMLG]

Hi
How old is he?
What happens if you let the interaction happen? You may need to do this, my estimation is that given the chance, Mya will teach him how to behave, but that doesn't occur all in one go, --she'll likely need to remind him more than once.

Not got a proper age for Ginge maybe around 5/6, the last interaction Ginge pinned Mya on the floor both howling and hissing - not play fighting sounds Mya was scared, Ginge was growling. It’s weird how Mya reacts to him - with our last cat Luna when we did the introductions to Mya - Mya would put her in her place but won’t with Ginge. (Unfortunately we don’t have Luna anymore she passed away the day after with rehomed Ginge)

 

[ArtNJ]

Those do sound like hostilities, but if the submissive cat isn't doing much, and there is no rolling around trying to bite and claw, it might be more akin to a domanince thing than a fight. If they are real fights with the cats hurting each other, that sort of changes the analysis. I mean, 3 months of introduction time is a lot, and does raise the spectre of this being an intractible problem. However, if you had actual fights where they hurt each other, thats very destructive of progress. So perhaps the three months is deceptive, and a month or two separated by a gate might chill things out. I'm not one of those people that says it takes as long as it takes, if its 6 or 9 months its six or nine months, but on the other hand, if there were real fights, and you didn't have 3 months of a smooth intro process, it definitely might be worth trying a longer existence separated by a gate.

 

[EmilyMLG]

Need some brutal honesty. Are we being fair - kept them separate and have done sight swapping. Mya stays upstairs so we bring Mya down and essentially locked Ginge upstairs. Tonight Ginge managed to get upstairs and went under the spare bed whilst Mya was under there - she hissed at him but no problems whilst under the bed …… Mya comes out goes into our room, Ginge starts to go downstairs (got excited thinking we were getting some where) no prompt Ginge bolts across the landing and pins Mya to the floor same thing as last time Mya is howling scared Ginge showing no fear start rolling around getting more aggressive - I had to separate only got a couple of scratches. Got Ginge locked in kitchen and let Mya settle - Ginge seemed unsettle wouldn’t let me touch him (cause I separated them but would like Jake fuss him). Can see that Mya is nervous/scared walking back upstairs and hides under the spare bed.

Is it fair that Mya is scared in her own home and is potentially going to get seriously hurt by Ginge

Is it fair on Ginge cause when we sleep or go to work he is being locked in the kitchen for up to 8 hours at a time.
Should we start looking for a home for Ginge where he can be the only cat? He’s great with humans and children. Its been 4 months with no improvements even with slow introductions and the feliway plug in sprays.

 

[Furballsmom]

Should we start looking for a home for Ginge where he can be the only cat? He’s great with humans and children.

Let me give you this, it's viable for adult cats too;
“kittens To Good Homes” – How To Find A Good Forever Home For Your Kittens – TheCatSite Articles