Introductions and Normal Body Language

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Wow, if both cats can lay down, so close together, that is rather impressive.
The photo is great. :lovecat2:
The boys just finished a 40 minute hang out session complete with chilling out together, and Ghost trying to start play. I've figured out he does enjoy being chased! He's just not sure yet about Shadow trying to turn it in to wrestling. It was really nice to see them just relaxing together and I even was able to fold my laundry while they both hung out with me. I hate folding laundry, so it felt like a double win.
That's a pretty good stretch of time, for hanging out.
And so good to hear, that Ghost is getting more and more used to Shadow, and being chased.

Hopefully, your Shadow will lesson his stronger hits, strikes, or tackles, and always wanting to wrestle..
.and then Ghost will be more Confident, or be able to 'parry as they do in fencing, where a lunge is blocked'...or maybe just avoid it..for a cat.

If Ghost can somehow 'diffuse', or lower Shadow's need to wrestle,..by out-running him, or 'inventing some newer cat games, like that 'ping pong spring game'...and not always just trying to overpower Ghost...then it probably will lead to more Play, from both cats.

" It was really nice to see them just relaxing together and I even was able to fold my laundry while they both hung out with me. I hate folding laundry, so it felt like a double win."
(Lol. I hate ironing, period. My late mom would say that some of my shirts looked like a cow chewed them, and so told me to iron, before I went out. It's true, they did, and so I would have to iron. Yet now I just try to buy shirts that don't wrinkle so much.
Folding laundry is rather relaxing, although, I guess it depends on how much time you have, and if you fold everything, and if you have to do it right away, or the next day. Laundry is tiring.)

You're right, it's so much nicer to fold laundry, while you have a few relaxing cats next to you, or at least within eye sight. :cloud9:
Not sure if you cats do this, though,...When you are folding, do they come up to you, and sleep on the new laundry. yikes.:blush:
It did end with a bit of a scuffle which stinks, but they're acting completely normal at the baby gate so it seems I disliked it more than them! Shadow tried to start play that was way rougher than Ghost is ready for, Ghost started screeching, and that escalated it. They were easy to separate, and there was zero blood. Tiniest little bit of fur flew. So tomorrow they'll have the day off from each other since it's one of my long shifts, even though they don't seem too phased.
You'll know you are making progress, if when Ghost screeches, or vocalizes higher in pitch,...and your Shadow actually stops...and can be easily Distracted, or easily separated...like you did...then it means that Shadow is also learning to Respect Ghost's signals.

**Pretty soon, you will be able to Distract the boys, just by using your voice, or hand-clapping, tossing a small pillow, or cat toy.
Right now, I'm not sure if it will frighten both cats, but you could start with the, "hey, hey, hey"...or 'clap the hands'...and say "Shadow nooo"...or the usual saying the name...all drawn out..."Shhhhaaaadooowww".
(I'm not sure if it will work with your Shadow, but some how it always works with "Trrriiiiipppp...nooooo"...:blackcat:)

They will get rough at times, and some fur will fly, plus the louder vocals...but at least now, in the early meetings...you are actually seeing that they are able to Play well, and also able to Relax around each other. :)

So basically you're just trying to Direct and persuade...both cats, to not such an 'intensive and hurtful play'...but rather a much less 'knock out play style'.

(I wonder if your cats would like this type of 'motion toy' that I got for mine.
CAT'S MEOW Motorized Chaser Cat Toy - Chewy.com
I bought it at walmart for under $17 CAD, so you might be able to find it even cheaper.)

(Tripp loves it, and has pulled the wand off, but it's easy to re-attach.
Tepaul fears it, so maybe a 50/50 chance that your boys will like it.)
I have a friend coming to visit me and stay for a few days this week, and she is the reason I started to love cats, so I'm looking forward to having her around to see and interpret their antics along with us!

I hope the start of your week is a good one!
I like this friend already...since she is the reason you started to love cats.:cloud9: Yay!! :lol:
You'll all have fun, for sure. :catrub::bigeyes::tabbycat::bluepaw::greenpaw:

And she will be able to interpret their antics immediately, along with some sage advice.
If your Shadow already knows her, then perhaps Shadow will act on his best behaviour, too. Never know. :clover:
Oh dang that stinks, I hope your weekend went up from there! Happens to the best of us. :alright:
Thanks, yes, the weekend was excellent.
So, true, it does happen to the best of us. lol. Thanks for pointing that out. It makes me feel better. :)
(It's just that I've had a great record, until the past few months. One red light camera, and one rolling stop. Ahh, man. :dunno: :gaah:
(my sister said that I should not drive like the 'fast and furious'. I don't...at all. But I do have to not do rolling stops at three way stop signs. I just don't like full stops, sometimes. ahh well, the lady cop was very pleasant, which was out of the ordinary, or maybe it is, I have no idea.))

I hope the start of your week is a good one, too. :biggrin:
Not too long...in a long shift....and that it goes by well. :)
 
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hybriseris

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I like this friend already...since she is the reason you started to love cats.
Well I come to you with many videos and pictures!

Ashley (my visiting friend) quickly helped me see that Shadow may be a little exuberant, but is being very friendly and just trying to play. Ghost, she called my "little drama queen" because most of his reactions are out of proportion to whatever Shadow is doing. For instance, Shadow could turn his head to look at him and Ghost will sprint away. In her opinion he either has very little experience with other cats besides being bullied in the shelter (as reported by the woman I worked with at the Humane Society), or that he has had bad experiences, because he's so wary.

However, we made a bunch of progress over the weekend! The boys can now be out together as long as I'm home, and while I occasionally have to redirect Shadow if Ghost is getting stressed, both are making progress. Shadow is now not so fixated, so he backs off if Ghost vocalizes or climbs up high to escape him, and Ghost isn't reacting so "dramatically" when Shadow tries to play. They still have a ways to go, especially Ghost, but there's lots of potential here!

I hope you enjoy all these videos, and that you and your kitties are well. It's HOT here all of the sudden, so we've been laying low and keeping cool.

Progress!
Sleep
 

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Well I come to you with many videos and pictures!

Ashley (my visiting friend) quickly helped me see that Shadow may be a little exuberant, but is being very friendly and just trying to play. Ghost, she called my "little drama queen" because most of his reactions are out of proportion to whatever Shadow is doing. For instance, Shadow could turn his head to look at him and Ghost will sprint away. In her opinion he either has very little experience with other cats besides being bullied in the shelter (as reported by the woman I worked with at the Humane Society), or that he has had bad experiences, because he's so wary.

However, we made a bunch of progress over the weekend! The boys can now be out together as long as I'm home, and while I occasionally have to redirect Shadow if Ghost is getting stressed, both are making progress. Shadow is now not so fixated, so he backs off if Ghost vocalizes or climbs up high to escape him, and Ghost isn't reacting so "dramatically" when Shadow tries to play. They still have a ways to go, especially Ghost, but there's lots of potential here!

I hope you enjoy all these videos, and that you and your kitties are well. It's HOT here all of the sudden, so we've been laying low and keeping cool.

Progress!
Sleep
Awesome update! :thumbsup:

(Please send some of that hot weather up our way, because it's been nothing but cool, cool temperatures, for a while. (14*C highs =57*F) Brrrrr. First two weekends were 'shorts weather', and now back to pants. yikes.
I mean I like cooler weather, but mostly from 20-24 *C (68*F-75*F), with no humidity.)

The videos are fantastic.! :clover:
And it sounds like your friend Ashley has those magic 'cat whisperer' genes, for the fact that you both got your cats to sleep so close to each other. Yay.! :cloud9: :bigeyes::tabbycat:

1st video: So excellent to see your Shadow just sleeping, with only his ears moving, while Ghost casually walks by. :greenpaw:
Meaning Shadow has Accepted Ghost into his territory, and no longer has to be on 'high alert'...to whatever Ghost is doing.

2nd video: I love it even more,..since Ghost approaches your Shadow, to the front right side and then behind Shadow's back, to sniff him slightly.
Shadow is wonderful, in that he 'does not just up and run' after Ghost. :blackcat:

Totally relaxed from Shadow. :coolcat:
While Ghost is not all the way relaxed,...and is still giving Shadow much respect, and a clear area, and tentative approach,...it still signifies that Ghost is willing to approach, and deal with any fear. Nice to see. :cloud9:

3rd video: Again a little tentative approach from Ghost, in sniffing Shadow,...yet it is still great to see that Shadow had no extreme defensive or offensive reaction. :woo:
Just a slight stretch of he front paw.
Almost like a slow wave or trial touch.:bluepaw:

4th video:..My new favourite, since is shows both your cats in a leisurely run. Not too fast, and not too slow. :thumbsup:

It's actually quite funny, because both cats use the entire space as a sort of obstacle course, and when Ghost hides behind the cardboard box,...Ghost actually looks to be peeking out, from the right side...in anticipation of Shadow following him. :lol:

It's kind of a sweet thing, actually.
Both cats play a game of 'hide and seek' with Ghost hiding behind the box,...and Shadow anticipating that Ghost would have come out on the left side,...but when Ghost does not, then Shadow goes in to flush him out. Then another chase happens.
You can kind of tell that both cats are getting more and more used to each other's play runs, and movements.:jive::woohoo:

The sleeping photos are just relaxing...to have both cats so close, and showing so much Trust with each other. :cloud9:
The second sleeping photo is cute, since Ghost looks like he has 'one eye open'...which is fine, since you know, even having humans there for 'protection'...may not be 'fast enough'...because well, "humans are very slow", according to cats. :lol: :blush: :wink:

Thanks for the update and all the videos.
My fur crew and I have been doing well.
Hoping that your week is good, and that both our weather systems even out, to more balanced and pleasant temps for all.
I don't like too hot or too cold...but rather 'somewhere in the middle' temperature-wise. :daisy::purplebutterfly::tree: 🌱🌳🌤🚴‍♀️
 

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It's so beautiful to read this thread and to see that they are gradually getting comfortable with each other! It's reassuring to see this too -- I'm in the first week of an introduction process between elderly resident rescue kitty Lucy and newcomer Padma (about 3 years old, has been through miscarrying kittens and a failed adoption). Lots of worries about whether this is going to be bad for Lucy (I'd planned to just give her a comfortable old age as a solo cat, but then Padma came into my life needing a home; I worry that I've betrayed Lucy by disrupting her life). Padma is mostly staying in her "base camp" spare bedroom for now; she ran out briefly to explore a few days ago, and Lucy mostly ignored her, but there was a bit of growling this morning on Lucy's part. Lucy is eating fine and doesn't seem upset as long as Padma stays in the "base camp". Sorry to inject my introduction story into yours :) I hope things continue to go really well for Shadow and Ghost -- and would welcome any advice RE Lucy and Padma:redheartpump:.
 
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hybriseris

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Padma is mostly staying in her "base camp" spare bedroom for now; she ran out briefly to explore a few days ago, and Lucy mostly ignored her, but there was a bit of growling this morning on Lucy's part. Lucy is eating fine and doesn't seem upset as long as Padma stays in the "base camp".
This is a good thing, that's what I observed with my guys too. As long as Ghost was in his room, Shadow seemed to be acting completely like normal.

I completely get feeling like you've betrayed or done something bad to your resident cat. Shadow is my absolute love, so I had many days I was worried that he felt some sort of negativity about the whole situation. My recommendation would be to find some time, even if it's just 10 - 15 minutes, to give Lucy your undivided attention above and beyond what you usually give her. For Shadow, I put my phone down and just pet him and brushed him for 15 minutes which he LOVES. It seemed to help with the transition because he still felt like he was getting attention and love.

My biggest advice after this whole experience is to take to heart the concept of "challenges", and to increase the challenge and wait until both cats seem comfortable to move to the next. For example, for me the first challenge was paws under the door. This seemed to really stress Shadow out, so I simply left it at that until Shadow either didn't react, or reacted positively. Of course all the carrying on started all over again once I gave them visual access to each other but then we just stayed at that until everyone was relaxed. It sort of felt like they needed to take each step and make sure it was fine before they tried anything more, so by the time they got to hang out with no barriers, they had some proof it would turn out okay!
 

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Thank you for the kind words and suggestions!! I am definitely giving Lucy some extra treats and pets (not so much brushing, which she hates ;) And thinking of things as step-by-step challenges is a really good idea -- I can see that also helping to mitigate the "overwhelm" for the human who is thinking ahead and catastrophizing about whether harmony will ever be achieved. Hope your furbabies are having a peaceful and cozy day!
 
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hybriseris

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cat nap cat nap Haven't had the most fun of evenings here with the boys. One dust-up I had to separate them from (though in all honesty, it may have just been Shadow trying to wrestle and Ghost getting extremely vocal underneath him and it looked like a fight to me), and otherwise Shadow will just NOT leave Ghost alone even after I've distracted him with another toy for a bit and he's seemed tired. He's also not backing off when Ghost growls, which he's been good about doing the last few days.

Do your kitties have moods, where one seems to antagonize the other more than usual some days? It's the only thing I can think of, that Shadow is just having a very "intense" night. Usually at some point he'll get bored of chasing Ghost and find somewhere to park out and hang but not tonight! I've since separated them again, with Shadow in the guest room for a bit while Ghost gets to hang in the rest of the apartment.
 

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Sorry you are going through that with them this evening! Other than separating them, tiring Shadow out with active play (catch the laser light?), and distraction, I don't have any good suggestions, and you are already doing those sorts of things... My previous kitties, Charcoal and Dominique, were siblings, and they definitely had days like that, where Charcoal was "sort of" playing, but ended up chasing his sister and jumping on her, and I had to separate them. Hopefully this is just a blip in the process for Shadow and Ghost!
 

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cat nap cat nap Haven't had the most fun of evenings here with the boys. One dust-up I had to separate them from (though in all honesty, it may have just been Shadow trying to wrestle and Ghost getting extremely vocal underneath him and it looked like a fight to me), and otherwise Shadow will just NOT leave Ghost alone even after I've distracted him with another toy for a bit and he's seemed tired. He's also not backing off when Ghost growls, which he's been good about doing the last few days.
If Shadow is constantly trying to pin Ghost down, and Ghost is not wanting it....then it could potentially lead to a fight.
It's really hard to tell sometimes, since one cat will often want to overpower the other, and then brush-ups happen.
Do your kitties have moods, where one seems to antagonize the other more than usual some days? It's the only thing I can think of, that Shadow is just having a very "intense" night. Usually at some point he'll get bored of chasing Ghost and find somewhere to park out and hang but not tonight! I've since separated them again, with Shadow in the guest room for a bit while Ghost gets to hang in the rest of the apartment.
Definitely, yes, my cats do have extreme moods...and extreme days...where I have no idea what really sets them off.
(I like to blame the weather, but really, I don't know.)

Some days, it's such a nice day, and they start off right from the morning, early, around 7am...while other times it's during the afternoon...so really I've not noticed any patterns.

It's good that you put...."Shadow in a time-out"..in the guest room.

(I don't often have to do that with my cats, because Tripp will always disengage, and just run away,...and place himself in another room. He does not like to be reprimanded, be in trouble, or lectured...at all. But I still find him, and even if it's minutes after, and he is settling down to sleep,...I'll still have a 'talk with him'.)

Cats do understand...that the things they do...have consequences...so don't feel bad, for placing Shadow in the guest room.

What is difficult is to know it it's a true fight...or just rough play-fight.
But go with your instincts...so that whenever...the 'play fight'...gets too, too much,...then it's better to separate them...for a while.
 

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It's so beautiful to read this thread and to see that they are gradually getting comfortable with each other! It's reassuring to see this too -- I'm in the first week of an introduction process between elderly resident rescue kitty Lucy and newcomer Padma (about 3 years old, has been through miscarrying kittens and a failed adoption). Lots of worries about whether this is going to be bad for Lucy (I'd planned to just give her a comfortable old age as a solo cat, but then Padma came into my life needing a home; I worry that I've betrayed Lucy by disrupting her life). Padma is mostly staying in her "base camp" spare bedroom for now; she ran out briefly to explore a few days ago, and Lucy mostly ignored her, but there was a bit of growling this morning on Lucy's part. Lucy is eating fine and doesn't seem upset as long as Padma stays in the "base camp". Sorry to inject my introduction story into yours :) I hope things continue to go really well for Shadow and Ghost -- and would welcome any advice RE Lucy and Padma:redheartpump:.
Hi JacobinCat JacobinCat :wave3:
I think it's awesome that you've adopted Padma...and given her a new home. :bluepaw:
Don't feel too bad or worried about your Lucy,...especially if she is still eating regularly,...and does not seem so upset. :greenpaw:

And being that it's only the first week of cat introductions,...I don't actually even count the first week or two...since it's the new cat's time to get used to the new territory (home), new Scents, food, sights, Routines, and their humans, too.
It's a lot for cats to Adapt to, so it's best to go ultra slow...and allow each day to unfold, as it will.

What is good is to have a cat-to-cat intro Plan in place, so it's easier for you to see each of the Steps...or Stages...per week...as they unfold.
Not sure which 'cat-to-cat intro method' you are using...it sounds like the Jackson Galaxy one, with 'base camp' set up.

Since you are only in the first week, then just remember to take it slow. :caticon::bluecat:
(I think Post #40, in this thread, mentions some of the different ones...which are also good to read about...since they may offer some other 'tips and advice'...on how to proceed from Step to Step.)

The Cat Site Article one is here:
You've probably read our article on cat introductions, but in case you haven't here's the link:
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide | TheCatSite
If you can set up some baby gates...or 'shelving gates as barriers'...then it may help to allow Lucy to feel more protected, and Confident in her home territory. :cool2:
This is the usual set-up that we recommend here, at the Cat Site, but if you already have baby gates, then that's fine, too.:
How to Build a Free-Standing Cat, Dog, or Pet Gate Cheaply, Without Tools

**Basically, by allowing Scent and then Visual access to both cats...you are Slowing opening up the 'territory' of each cat...so that they come to feel, and Accept, that the other cat is a part of their territory.

This is done before actual 'physical meetings take place'...so as to gradually lessen a cat's natural instincts of fear and territorial acceptance. Cats have to feel that all their basic needs are being met,...and that no other cat will take away those needs...of food, water, litterbox, security, sleeping areas, their humans, etc.

**With the age difference from Lucy to Padma, the cat intro Steps will be the same,...from Hearing each other,...Scent swapping, and Site/Room swapping,...and then Visuals through a Gate...where Lucy and Padma can observe each other,... before actually 'meeting face to face'.

It just may take a little extra time, since Lucy is a senior, and Padma may want to be out and about, more.
It really depends on each cat's personality...and how they view the other cat.

Hopefully, you will be able to see some daily improvements...when you are following the Steps...and have a solid Routine, in place.
Cats love Routines. :greenpaw:
...
My biggest advice after this whole experience is to take to heart the concept of "challenges", and to increase the challenge and wait until both cats seem comfortable to move to the next. For example, for me the first challenge was paws under the door. This seemed to really stress Shadow out, so I simply left it at that until Shadow either didn't react, or reacted positively. Of course all the carrying on started all over again once I gave them visual access to each other but then we just stayed at that until everyone was relaxed. It sort of felt like they needed to take each step and make sure it was fine before they tried anything more, so by the time they got to hang out with no barriers, they had some proof it would turn out okay!
This is some really helpful and awesome advice, since it breaks down the 'cat to cat intros'...in the form of "challenges".
With breaking the 'cat intros' down...into smaller pieces...and 'challenges'...then we humans can better see if our cats are getting more comfortable...or less comfortable. :bluepaw:

And also being able to see that...at each 'challenge Step'...that progress is indeed being made....both negative and positive progress.

(One of the other members here, Mservant, had taught me, that even with other things in life,...if we are able to 'break them down, into smaller, and more manageable pieces/steps,...where we don't feel so overwhelmed, and don't feel like we have an idea where to start,...that by tackling a small bit at a time...then eventually the larger task is accomplished. (actually she said it way better, so I'm doing a terrible paraphrase, but anyhow,...I hope...the basic meaning comes across.)

With cat to cat introductions...it's very similar: You break down the Steps/Stages...into manageable and smaller steps...and then proceed...from one Step to the next.
Sometimes you have to go back a few Steps...and that's okay.
Sometimes it feels like we get to a 'stall'...or 'no forward momentum'...but it's only because of the way we humans view...the actual way that our cats are Adapting, to each other.
 

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Thank you so much for the encouragement, the suggestions, and the links! We've been doing scent swapping and site swapping today, and I have a baby gate up for the first time this evening -- neither of them has noticed, though. They are both sound asleep!
 

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Thank you so much for the encouragement, the suggestions, and the links! We've been doing scent swapping and site swapping today, and I have a baby gate up for the first time this evening -- neither of them has noticed, though. They are both sound asleep!
Sounds like things are going well,...especially both cats being 'sound asleep'...with baby gate going up. :lol:
It always amazes me, how our cats can act all 'dramatic and expressive' at times, usually around feeding times, or play,...and then sleep so soundly, at other parts of the day/night. :sleep2::sleep:

If you do decide to create an 'intro thread for your Lucy and Padma'...then just 'tag' both hybriseris hybriseris and myself ( cat nap cat nap ), in to it.
Or just leave the link here, since I'm sure that it would be good to see...photos of your cats,...and also see where you are at,...at different stages...and updates, too.
Good luck with the beginnings of your cat intros. :goodluck:
 

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I had this problem back in 2019 when a stray cat entered my house and both my cats suddenly didn’t know each other. It was horrible. I followed all the steps, failed, tried again over and over. It took them 9 month to be okay again.

I think it took 9 months was because we as humans, we think too much. The 2 cats staring at each other could be nothing, could be just them processing information but since I was watching them so closely, I got so nervous and intervened. That is the biggest mistake. With me intervening at every little stare or growl, I believe that didn’t help the situation. They sensed my nervousness and it caused them to be nervous too. If I hadn’t put much attention like a helicopter on them I’m sure the issue would have resolved in 1-2 months.

The 2nd incident was in 2020 when I was opening the door and the same stray suddenly popped out of nowhere and threw itself on my gate. Luckily I have installed a net so the stray didn’t manage to strike my Meffy. But it made her puffed up and angry she redirected her aggression on Meimey. Angry fighting to the bedroom. This time it lasted about 2 weeks because I just ignored them after 1 week of separation.

So, as long as they’re not up front attacking one another, leave them be. They’ll work it out, set their own boundaries. Good Luck!! ❤
 

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I hope your kitties are doing well! I thought I'd update you on mine (two months after the introduction of the new cat) for encouragement: Mozzie (the queen of the apartment) still likes her space for sure, and will bop Catrick (the newb) on the head if he bothers her too much... but they're living in peace now! They even sleep butt-to-butt when Mozzie is feeling generous. They keep each other occupied when they're alone at home, which is great, and they get energy out by chasing each other around the apartment like little cheetahs. Mozzie doesn't hiss at him much at all now, only if he seriously startles her. They both seem well-adjusted and Mozzie isn't bored like she used to be.
It's funny having two cats who couldn't be more different, lol! Mozzie is the classic aloof, diva cat, whereas Catrick is an absolute cuddle bug and has almost no grace or dignity. But thankfully they get along well despite their differences! Gj45Y7FKT1mok%+hcPyWYg.jpg
 

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Hi hybriseris hybriseris ...I cannot believe a week and half has gone by with no "Shadow and Ghost" updates. yikes.
How are your two furballs doing? :bigeyes::tabbycat:
I hope 'no news is good news'...as the saying goes. :crossfingers:

Hopefully, both Shadow and Ghost have reached...a 'mutual understanding' of sorts...and can now 'learn how to play in a not so painful, loud, or dramatic fashion'. :cool2: :catrub::blackcat:
 
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hybriseris

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cat nap cat nap I return after some health troubles! Nothing major, but put me out of commission for a bit. I am now 100%, and come bearing an update!

For the most part, the boys are getting along very well. Ghost is still a little dramatically wary of Shadow, and occasionally I need to redirect Shadow to another activity, but they are not only co-existing but occasionally seeking each other out and doing things together. There's not enough comfort on Ghost's end for any sort of sleeping close together or grooming, but they've made great strides in figuring each other out and I think given time, they'll come to be good buddies.

Our issues now mainly revolve around Shadow not being able to resist going up to Ghost when he's laying down or comes to lay down. As I'm writing this, Ghost jumped on to my bed with me & Shadow, and Shadow got up to try and play with him instead of just hanging out. At first I was worried he was trying to guard me as a resource, but I've noticed he'll do it even if I'm in another room! Shadow is having a more energetic day though.

Here's a fraction of the 9000 videos and pictures I have of the two of them. 🤣


 
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hybriseris

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Catrick is an absolute cuddle bug and has almost no grace or dignity
I laughed right out loud at this description! That's how I'd describe Ghost. I don't know if it's because his face is white so it's easier to see, but he's CONSTANTLY bonking his head on things or running in to things and gets little cuts on his face. 🤦🏻‍♀️ There's grace there, but it's overshadowed by youthful exuberance LOL.

Thank you for sharing, it IS encouraging, especially because we both have cats who are very different from each other. Mine aren't comfortable sleeping that close together yet (or at least Ghost isn't), but I'm hoping that maybe it'll just be time and learning to fully trust one another.
 

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stand with ukraine
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cat nap cat nap I return after some health troubles! Nothing major, but put me out of commission for a bit. I am now 100%, and come bearing an update!

For the most part, the boys are getting along very well. Ghost is still a little dramatically wary of Shadow, and occasionally I need to redirect Shadow to another activity, but they are not only co-existing but occasionally seeking each other out and doing things together. There's not enough comfort on Ghost's end for any sort of sleeping close together or grooming, but they've made great strides in figuring each other out and I think given time, they'll come to be good buddies.
Glad that you are feeling 100%, again. :hugs: :grouphug: :thumbsup:

(Something must have been going around, because the two weeks, before I posted, my last post, I was also 'so under the weather'...(which incidentally outside was cold, rainy, and not warm at all). But I just could not seem to gain any energy, even after sleeping for an abundant amount of hours. I couldn't figure out if it was chronic fatigue, hormones from perimenopause,...or turning into some type of 'vampire'..🧛‍♀️.:wink:..who has a few good hours in the middle of the night, but cannot seem to gain energy during the daylight. :rolleyes2:
Uggghh...I too, was so glad when that ended.)

I did see your 'purraise emoji'..on that post..:)..so just figured that you were, super, super, busy with work, or riding your horse.
I hope both our health troubles are over, and never to return, again. :crossfingers:

The Shadow and Ghost update sounds great. :biggrin:
You've made tremendous progress, since April 16th, or April 2nd,..depending on how you want to count it.
Since it's only been under 2 months, from april 16th,...so to hear, and see,... both your cats so enjoying each other, and Playing, Stalking, Laying near each other, ...each taking turns, with going up to the other cat...to initiate Play...is absolutely fabulous. :woo:

I don't think they necessarily have to sleep near each other, or groom each other, to be best friends. :think:
Just the fact that they can lay near each other, and also have Respect...when one cat is sleeping...or slowly try to engage the sleeping cat...but not by pouncing on them, or constantly wanting to dominate the other cat...is honestly great to see.

All the things you did in these cat intros...you did amazing well,...and still are continuing to do good things,...to make sure that each cat feels safe and happy.

In time, I don't think you will even need to do as much re-directing,...since I think that Shadow, will come to Listen to your Voice,...unless he is a bit 'thick headed and stubborn'. :blackcat:

(a bit like my Tripp...who does hear me, but will often wait,...until I get up,...and then figures that the "human must be serious"...in the slight reprimands a person must do, when Tripp decides to bother his sister Tepaul. Though lately, it has been the other way around, and it's Tepaul, who I've been having to reprimand slightly. She does not care, either, but just walks or runs away,...but Tripp is a sensitive soul, who does not like to get into trouble.
I always try to keep my voice calm, and even, since I know that cats can take on our emotions, but sometimes...it's very difficult to do. Clapping hands works well, here,...and the usual, "hey, hey, hey"...in quick succession.)

Your two cats, probably already pick up on your Voice, tone, and movements....and know when they have to 'tone it down'.:agree:
Our issues now mainly revolve around Shadow not being able to resist going up to Ghost when he's laying down or comes to lay down. As I'm writing this, Ghost jumped on to my bed with me & Shadow, and Shadow got up to try and play with him instead of just hanging out. At first I was worried he was trying to guard me as a resource, but I've noticed he'll do it even if I'm in another room! Shadow is having a more energetic day though.
Hahaha...that's so interesting that you mention your Shadow...being the one to get up...and immediately want to Play...and not leave Ghost alone. :bluepaw:

But in your videos, first and fifth,...it was actually Ghost who was going up to Shadow, while he was sleeping,...and either sniffing Shadow's paws, while Shadow is laying down on the sofa,...or else touching Shadow's paws...with the old, "hey, high-five buddy"...when it just looks like Shadow is enjoying some nap time. :lol:

I think you're going to see...both cats do this...with a lot of back and forth.
They will try to trick you, into thinking that the 'other one started it'...but don't fall for that. :bigeyes: :gingercat:

Just tell they, "hey, I have both my eyes on you"...even if you don't.
And don't worry, either, since us humans cannot ever have all eyes on them.

Our cats are just too fast, and since your two are looking like they are enjoying their play-times, together,...I figure that you don't really have to do much anymore,...except for the occasional 'refereeing job'...where you won't really know which cat started it.
Here's a fraction of the 9000 videos and pictures I have of the two of them. 🤣
:lol::crackup::spew:
Love it, love it, love it. :clover:
Your cats are so cool.
The photo and videos are great. :thumbsup:

The first photo, I'll just call, "looks like a bit of synchronized sleeping"...:crackup:
(I mean both cats have great form, but their angles are a bit off...so if it were olympic diving...I would score them a six or seven. I'm a harsh olympic judge. lol.)

1st video: Ghost casually walking over to a sleeping Shadow, to sniff his paw.
Why cats do this, to their sleeping buddies, idk.
I mean, do they notice the other cat sleeping, yes, ..do they care...nooo.

2nd video: Hilarious.
It's like Shadow stops at one point, and seems to look over to Ghost, and says, "Ghost, Ghost,...check out these 'new moves'.
I'm going to 'kill this toy'. You definitely have to Learn how to do this Ghost... Don't ever go after it half-heartedly, but be passionate and as quick as I am. Pay attention." :eek2: :lol:
Ghost really is paying close attention. 😹

3rd video: I'm glad you put the caption on it, because when I first watched it, I didn't see what the two cats saw.
That bird was super fast.
I only noticed my favourite amazon box, again, since it reminded me of one of my favorite 'Ghost and Shadow videos'.

There are so many now, but in my top tier...are the "Ghost coming out of that box:..the I can do this, I can do this...No, I can't video".
The many climbing baby gates videos.
Especially the one with Shadow watching Ghost climb.

And many of the early ones, where they were both in the early stages, but still wanted to engage.

4th video: This 'Ghost stalking Shadow video', is now, also one of my favorites. hahahah. :crackup:
Ghost creeps up so quickly, close to the wall, to stalk Shadow.
Yet, at one point, Ghost stops, peeks around the corner, turns his head...as if thinking....but then brilliantly does such a fast look at you...and then continues to think some more. :flail:
Just brilliant.
It's the 'thinking and watching Shadow slowly saunter away', that is so entertaining to watch. :lol:

5th video:...I don't know...so funny.
What's up with Ghost in this one.
I mean Ghost could be a little bored, and then decides to try and play some 'cat paws'...
or maybe Ghost is trying to Teach Shadow to play gently with the paws...and figures the only good time to do this...is when Shadow is half sleepy.
Might be a good 'cat strategy'...never know. :bluepaw::greenpaw:

Thanks so much, once again, hybriseris hybriseris ...for making me laugh, on this Friday night. :lol:
It's a good way to start a weekend. :cool2: :clover:

I hope your weekend goes well, with yourself, and your fur crew. :bigeyes::tabbycat::greenpaw::bluepaw:
Sending you the Best, from myself and my fur crew, too. :catrub::blackcat::blackcat::bluepaw:
 
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hybriseris

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I come with updates and videos and a couple questions, if I can impose on your kindness once again!

The boys have reached a big milestone. They're now together 24/7, including when I'm not home. It was VERY hard for me to take the leap, but I tested it when I was going to be at my sister's house very close by for a few hours. Peeked in on them on my security cam every once in a while. Came back and...perfectly fine. I'm sure they have their hairy moments when I'm not around but for the most part it seems like they've reached comfort around each other.

I guess my question is, could I expect that it might take quite a while longer for them to form a true friendship? Right now they'll sleep in the same room together, play together (Ghost is slowly learning to be the initiator and can get overwhelmed, but mostly seems to have fun), and are comfortable eating treats near each other whereas before they were too nervous to eat in sight of one another. But they don't lay WITH each other, no mutual grooming, etc. I also have the reality in mind that this may be as much as they ever get along which I would be okay with. But I do worry that in seeking to enrich them both, I've not done the right thing? (If my boyfriend could read this he'd scream. He's always telling me they're CLEARLY happy and enjoying each other's company even if they haven't figured it all out yet but... as is established by this thread... I'm a worry wart LOL)

Secondly, Shadow occasionally goes up to Ghost while he's laying down and puts his mouth on his throat. It doesn't seem aggressive, especially because in the early days after adopting him, he did it a lot to my arm when I had a sweatshirt on - just bite and kind of squeeze. Is this dominance? Play? I am hoping it's not behavior where he's trying to drive Ghost away from me, but can't tell.

Here's some videos and pictures of these two goofs!

Hope all is well with you and your kitties!

 
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