Introduction Anxiety

[calicosrspecial]

FANTASTIC!!! Just keep trying to get any amount of time in a positive encounter. 7 minutes is fantastic.

And I LVOE to hear they turn their backs which is a big sign of trust!!

Don;t worry, we will get Trudie out of chasing. It is a process. For now keep trying to keep them focused on food etc. As time goes by that builds and there is less of a need to chase to protect. AND as they build confidence the need to chase will lessen as well. Happens in every intro, we will get through it. Just part of the process.

So yes, that urge (negative to chase) will go away. The play aspect of chase may remain but will not be negative.

I am reading a lot of positives. I am not at all worried. We will take it step by step and build on the positives and build their trust in each other and their confidence.

The more times they avoid negativity the more they build that trust and confidence and the less feeling they have to protect themselves or their territory.

Keep feeding as you are, making that positive association and use distraction to make every encounter as positive as possible and try to avoid any negativity.

Keep up the great work!! Sounds really positive.

 

[Hanm3]

I hope things are improving with your kitties and your nerves!

Thank you! We take it day by day, some are better than others. I’m thinking of doing my own thread actually. Yours seem to be doing better, keep it up We’re in this together!

 

[Lindanyc]

Well, we had a decent morning treat session. I was able to keep Trudie distracted. I’ll try to upload video. My anxiety took over at one point when it seemed like Trudie was going to run towards Charmin. This fear of a fight is so hard for me to shake. We had the gate up later in the morning so Trudie could have half the house and Charmin the other. Charmin approached the gate and meowed. Trudie ran towards it like a bat out of hell leading to hissing. Sigh.

 

[cat nap]

What was Trudie doing exactly before the run at the gate?
And after the run, did Charmin run away from the gate?

(To upload a video: How To Upload And Add Videos To Your Posts – Cat Articles)

 

[Lindanyc]

Trudie was walking between room and saw charmin at the cat meowing. She ran towards it. Charmin hissed and walked away. The video I have is just snack time not the gate incident.

 

[cat nap]

The video would still be okay to see, since it would show how each cat acts around snack time.

It sounds like Trudie is still not trusting Charmin, yet, and wants to 'chase her away' from 'her territory'.
What is going to help, is the fact that both cats love food/treats, and are not bothered by each other while eating.

You'll use this to your advantage, and get the cats to eat closer and closer to the gate.
Place the food a distance away, and then slowly, each day move the food bowls closer and closer.
What you are doing is lessening each cat's fear response, especially Trudie's.

 

[Lindanyc]

I uploaded the video to my folder.

 

[cat nap]

I just watched it in your Media Album. It's fantastic.

What you can do to 'embed your video in this thread' is to use those "3 dots"....right beside the 'smiley face'...in the bar above the reply box .
A drop down menu appears....choose "Media".
Then copy and paste the URL into your post.
Hit "Continue".

(I hope that works....Here's another way to phrase that: Embed videos

 

[cat nap]

I'm so impressed with both of you,... and your cats, too.

If you notice in the video, Trudie's hackles (the fur on her back)....stands up a bit, so she is not yet as comfortable being around Charmin.
But what is so excellent is the way you can distract Trudie, and how she listens to you.
That is simply amazing, being how Trudie is the 'new cat'.

Wow. I think you may have some 'cat whisperer' genes inside of you.
Your husband is also spot on with his observations.

I honestly don't think this cat-intro is going to take very long.
I'm hoping that C calicosrspecial , and the other members see your video, and offer their input, too.
(It may be tomorrow, though, since Calicosrspecial looks after feral cats, too.)

• What I would do for now, is keep them behind the gate, and continue to do the 'Scent swaps' with using Charmin's scent on her cat bed, cat blanket, cat toys, or t-shirt rubbed on her...and place it near Trudie...so that Trudie gets so used to Charmin's scent, that she no longer will feel like Charmin is an intruder or stranger.
• Also continue with the Playing, so that Trudie feels very bonded to both you and your husband. (It already looks like she is...but continuing with positive Play, and then food/treats...will help her to become even more relaxed.)
• When Trudie decides to run at the gate to scare Charmin away, then just step in front of her with either a piece of cardboard or towel and distract her.
• If you happen not to be at the gate, that is okay, ...just slowly go over and watch, and then distract her away from the gate.

(I'd like to go watch the video some more, and slow it down, to see if Trudie is always focused on Charmin while not eating, or only when she turns.)

I also like the way you place the Treats in Trudie's cup, to make it more of a game, and challenge for her.
That is really good in inventing games for her, both for distraction and mental stimulation.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Well, we had a decent morning treat session. I was able to keep Trudie distracted. I’ll try to upload video. My anxiety took over at one point when it seemed like Trudie was going to run towards Charmin. This fear of a fight is so hard for me to shake. We had the gate up later in the morning so Trudie could have half the house and Charmin the other. Charmin approached the gate and meowed. Trudie ran towards it like a bat out of hell leading to hissing. Sigh.

"Charmin approached the gate and meowed. Trudie ran towards it like a bat out of hell leading to hissing." - This happens in intros. Totally normal and expected. Shows that Trudie is feeling insecure/threatened etc which is normal. But if that is all that happened (hissing) and there was no fight etc then it wasn't.

Remember, hissing is communication. It is like us saying to someone "watch it" or "don't even think about it". If the other cat respects the communication then it is actually a positive (if a fight or something really negative is avoided it is a positive).

Anxiety is always something we have in intros. It is totally understandable (I still have it once in a while now after A LOT of intros - And I know I need to control it and try but it still happens). Just do your best and be prepared to distract as needed.

Ok, I am editing. WHOA, That video is AWESOME!!! I have NO DOUBT they are going to be fine. Yes, we have work to do but seeing their body language etc tells me these cats will be intro'd. It is a question of WHEN NOT IF. That video was WAY BETTER than I ever expected. They are well on the way to being intro'd. GREAT job!!

One thing is, I would watch how many treats. I would do more food/meal feeding since too many treats can be unhealthy. Try using a toy if possible as well. The one thing you would have to watch out for is if the other cat goes for the toy and it creates an issue. If your husband can play with one cat and you the other and keep them focus on their respective toys that can be really good.

If you can figure out a way to put the videos in the thread that would be great and take as many as possible so we can see the nuance and body language between them.

Don't rush things, take it slow, make positive associations and positive encounters before they can get at each other. Work on getting them to look away, etc. And keep building their confidence (separately).

Overall, I don't read anything that is worrying or out of the ordinary. And the video was really amazing!!!

By the way, your cats are SOOOOOOO ADORABLE!!!! Absolutely GORGEOUS!!!

 

[Lindanyc]

"Charmin approached the gate and meowed. Trudie ran towards it like a bat out of hell leading to hissing." - This happens in intros. Totally normal and expected. Shows that Trudie is feeling insecure/threatened etc which is normal. But if that is all that happened (hissing) and there was no fight etc then it wasn't.

Remember, hissing is communication. It is like us saying to someone "watch it" or "don't even think about it". If the other cat respects the communication then it is actually a positive (if a fight or something really negative is avoided it is a positive).

Anxiety is always something we have in intros. It is totally understandable (I still have it once in a while now after A LOT of intros - And I know I need to control it and try but it still happens). Just do your best and be prepared to distract as needed.

Ok, I am editing. WHOA, That video is AWESOME!!! I have NO DOUBT they are going to be fine. Yes, we have work to do but seeing their body language etc tells me these cats will be intro'd. It is a question of WHEN NOT IF. That video was WAY BETTER than I ever expected. They are well on the way to being intro'd. GREAT job!!

One thing is, I would watch how many treats. I would do more food/meal feeding since too many treats can be unhealthy. Try using a toy if possible as well. The one thing you would have to watch out for is if the other cat goes for the toy and it creates an issue. If your husband can play with one cat and you the other and keep them focus on their respective toys that can be really good.

If you can figure out a way to put the videos in the thread that would be great and take as many as possible so we can see the nuance and body language between them.

Don't rush things, take it slow, make positive associations and positive encounters before they can get at each other. Work on getting them to look away, etc. And keep building their confidence (separately).

Overall, I don't read anything that is worrying or out of the ordinary. And the video was really amazing!!!

By the way, your cats are SOOOOOOO ADORABLE!!!! Absolutely GORGEOUS!!!

Thank you so much for the encouragement! I feel like we are going at a snail’s pace, so it helps to hear that you see good things. We are trying hard to find toys that hold Trudie’s interest. She’s hard to entertain. Charmin is easier. I agree about too many treats. I try to give Trudie the freeze dried salmon treats which I hope are healthier. Charmin hates them. I’ll keep looking for ways to entertain Trudie and keep her distracted. Thanks again!!

 

[calicosrspecial]

You are welcome but you really have made great progress. It is easy to be encouraging when I am seeing such great things!!

I know it may feel like a snail's pace but you really have come a long way. We now know that they will get along. We just have that last little bit to finish off. So keep building those positive encounters. Showing the cat that the other cat is not a negative (physical threat, threat to food, water and litter box access etc). And the more times they are together without anything negative the more trust is built.

Yes, younger cats can be hard to keep distracted especially a new cat as they tend to want to play more while the older/resident cat is more likely to be more territorial defensive. So the mismatch can cause issues. That is why we go through a process taking steps to build trust between them. Toys are important as is food and if you can safely talking to the cat, giving them love (but only if you are not at risk of being hurt in anyway).And as we build the confidence of the cats through Play, Food, Height and Love the more accepting the cats are as confidence cats are more likely to accept and be accepted.

I am really impressed at how positive the body language was on the video. Charmin looked great as did Trudie. You are definitely doing the right things. They are in a great place.

Keep up the great work. If I was in your situation I would be really happy, I think you and the cats are in a great place. Let's finish off the intro by reinforcing those positive associations and maximizing those positive encounters. You are well past the risk point. It really is a question of when not if they are intro'd. This last part can have some steps forward and back but that video showed me that there is no question they are going to be fine. I don't think you have any reason to worry. Please feel free to ask any questions for clarifications. We will help you finish off the intro. Keep up the great work, you really have done a fantastic job to this point!!

 

[Lindanyc]

We had 17 minutes of peaceful meal time tonight. The licky mats are great for slowing them down. Charmin walked away when done and played a little with hubby and her wand toy. Trudie took longer because she’s a little pig and practically licks the color off the mat. I put a few treats In a food puzzle to keep her busy longer. Probably could have gone longer but didn’t want to blow it. ))

 

[Furballsmom]

The licky mats are great for slowing them down.

I LOVE this, I'm so glad they work for you!

 

[colaradocatlady]

I am having almost the exact same issue as you are. But in my case it is the resident cat who is defending her territory. We have the new cat in a guest room with a baby gate, but whenever she comes close to the gate, resident cat comes running up to it to scare her away. They do eat together and snack together, but I stay really close. It is super stressful. We have had many cats in the past, but they were outdoors cats and we just threw them together and they figured it out. It's been a month now.

 

[calicosrspecial]

We had 17 minutes of peaceful meal time tonight. The licky mats are great for slowing them down. Charmin walked away when done and played a little with hubby and her wand toy. Trudie took longer because she’s a little pig and practically licks the color off the mat. I put a few treats In a food puzzle to keep her busy longer. Probably could have gone longer but didn’t want to blow it. ))

AWESOME!!!! 17 minutes?!?!?!?! WOW!!!

You did the exact right thing. End it on a positive note, no negativity.

I LOVE that Charmin walked away then played!!! A sign of confidence. Add Trudie focusing on the food.

You did the exact right things. GREAT job!!

Keep up the great work. Remember, there are always ups and downs but I have no doubt you are well on your way to success.

Please keep us up on how things are going and ask any questions. REALLY GREAT JOB!!!

 

[pearl99]

I am also in an intro process, it will be 4 months on March 15th. I adopted a 12 year old cat, my resident cats are 2 years and 5 1/2 years. (And, one week ago I added a 13 year old kitty unexpectedly when my neighbors of 18 years son died suddenly. I couldn't let her go to a shelter. We couldn't find a home. So I'll be doing this all over again in the future.)
All of the above is super advice.
I don't have anything to add, except the play, treats, lavishing love, positive associations and going slowly has worked here. My 3 can eat in the kitchen together, sit and meow like I haven't fed them in 2 weeks while I get their food ready, and the boundaries where they will get closer are shrinking.
For treats, I'll add that I've used Bonito flakes. They are dried fish flakes, cheapest from Amazon. Now they are flakes so not solid, so you can't toss them, but I put them in a little bowl to use to get the kitties closer with a treat, on either side of a gate or door, etc. Basically almost zero calories.
It for sure takes time!
Your kitties are lovely. And doing what mine did in the beginning. You're doing great. It will happen!

 

[Lindanyc]

I am also in an intro process, it will be 4 months on March 15th. I adopted a 12 year old cat, my resident cats are 2 years and 5 1/2 years. (And, one week ago I added a 13 year old kitty unexpectedly when my neighbors of 18 years son died suddenly. I couldn't let her go to a shelter. We couldn't find a home. So I'll be doing this all over again in the future.)
All of the above is super advice.
I don't have anything to add, except the play, treats, lavishing love, positive associations and going slowly has worked here. My 3 can eat in the kitchen together, sit and meow like I haven't fed them in 2 weeks while I get their food ready, and the boundaries where they will get closer are shrinking.
For treats, I'll add that I've used Bonito flakes. They are dried fish flakes, cheapest from Amazon. Now they are flakes so not solid, so you can't toss them, but I put them in a little bowl to use to get the kitties closer with a treat, on either side of a gate or door, etc. Basically almost zero calories.
It for sure takes time!
Your kitties are lovely. And doing what mine did in the beginning. You're doing great. It will happen!

Thanks for the Bonito flakes tip!!

 

[Lindanyc]

I haven’t updated in awhile, so here’s where we are. We can have the cats together for 30-40 minutes. So far we have only done this when they are eating or playing. We have paused to see what happens. They watch each other but are pretty easy to redirect. Charmin seems to have no interest in chasing Trudie. Trudie’s body language seems pretty relaxed, but I still get the feeling if we don’t distract, she will charge. When she moves too close to Charmin, Charmin will give just the tiniest hiss. I know at some point I’m going to have to see what happens if I don’t keep distracting Trudie, but I’m not comfortable trying it just yet. Do you think they will just hiss it out?

 

[calicosrspecial]

Fantastic. GREAT job!!

30-40 minutes is really, really great.

And what is even better this - "We have paused to see what happens. They watch each other but are pretty easy to redirect.". The fact they don;t immediately go at each other shows trust has been built AND the fact they choose the distraction over the other cat is another great sign.

"Charmin seems to have no interest in chasing Trudie. Trudie’s body language seems pretty relaxed, but I still get the feeling if we don’t distract, she will charge." - Yes, probably. BUT that is why we distract and as Trudie doesn't charge (it builds Charmin's confidence) and as Charmin gets more confident it will discourage Trudie. Do you get a sense the charge is more of a play thing? Or a test of Charmin?

"When she moves too close to Charmin, Charmin will give just the tiniest hiss." - How does Trudie react to the hiss? Respects it? Or gets more aggressive and escalates the situation? Hissing is communication and a part of the intro process so it can be really helpful to teach the other cat acceptable boundaries.

"but I’m not comfortable trying it just yet." - I agree and would just keep doing what you are doing. The more they are together without incident the more trust and confidence is built. And the more trust and confident the less they will feel the need to defend or "eliminate" the other "threat".

You are doing an absolutely fantastic job. I am not at all worried, they are going to be intro'd. Not sure if it is next week or a few weeks but all sign point to success.

Keep watching their body language, keep doing what you are doing, and please update us and ask anything. Everything sounds great, keep up the great work!!