Introducing new kitten to my cat

[littlecatt]

You've gotten great advice so I just wanted to send my support Introducing cats is incredibly stressful on us too, don't forget to take care of yourself and give yourself breaks! You're doing an amazing job with what seems like a difficult match, and most importantly you've opened your home to two cats in need. Sometimes these things take an exhaustingly long time, but with Mia being so young, I think it's more likely than not that there's going to be a time in the future you look back at this thread and can't believe the two couldn't co-exist. Though it probably seems like no progress is being made, just remember that one less hiss or swat is progress to your cats!

 

[dashy1]

They're so bossy aren't they

I'm more nervous than the kitten, she isn't that phased by Olly and at times tries to go for him (through her carrier)! I've been bringing her into the living area the last few days & yesterday I had one of those toys on a string & both were playing with it at the same time....Mia through her carrier & Olly sat tall on a kitchen stool! Olly did do a bit of showing his tummy & rolling when I brought her into the living room today but still swiping, hissing & growling although not so aggressively, so things are getting better. I'm hoping over the next week or so I'll be confident enough to let Mia out of her carrier in his presence.

Thank you all for your encouragement, it's really helping x

 

[dashy1]

You've gotten great advice so I just wanted to send my support Introducing cats is incredibly stressful on us too, don't forget to take care of yourself and give yourself breaks! You're doing an amazing job with what seems like a difficult match, and most importantly you've opened your home to two cats in need. Sometimes these things take an exhaustingly long time, but with Mia being so young, I think it's more likely than not that there's going to be a time in the future you look back at this thread and can't believe the two couldn't co-exist. Though it probably seems like no progress is being made, just remember that one less hiss or swat is progress to your cats!

Thank you! It is stressing me out a bit but things seem a tiny bit better lately & I'm sure they will at least accept each other but hopefully they'll become friends. I'm feeling more confident this week than last week & the support on here is amazing x

 

[Tagrendy]

I would swap rooms, they all need to own the whole place, the moment when they start claiming separate section as their territory only is when they'll start guarding it.

I would also feed them at the same time putting the bowls so far apart that their attention would be on the bowl and not on each other. After knowing how big that toleration distance is then it's a matter of inching closer and closer every day.

 

[littlecatt]

Thank you! It is stressing me out a bit but things seem a tiny bit better lately & I'm sure they will at least accept each other but hopefully they'll become friends. I'm feeling more confident this week than last week & the support on here is amazing x

So glad to hear that!! Cat friendships can take months to build even after they reach that "tolerating" stage, it's definitely not out of the question! Olly hasn't had any time to realize how fun having a sibling can be — my older resident tolerates my new kitten, but is just realizing that it's a great time to chase each other around the apartment at 3am And if it's not aggressive, that swiping and hissing is just part of cat communication, Mia speaks his language better than we humans do and knows that getting smacked or hissed at is just his way of saying to give him space. It sounds like they've made a lot of progress already!

 

[dashy1]

I would swap rooms, they all need to own the whole place, the moment when they start claiming separate section as their territory only is when they'll start guarding it.

I would also feed them at the same time putting the bowls so far apart that their attention would be on the bowl and not on each other. After knowing how big that toleration distance is then it's a matter of inching closer and closer every day.

Hi It's a bit difficult to swap rooms I have an apartment....open plan, and Mia is living in the spare bedroom/ come office. Olly isn't used to be in a closed area, he's allowed to go anywhere in the apartment except of course in the spare bedroom at the moment.

Thank you for the feeding tip, I'll try that from tomorrow - I'll see how they get on later today when they meet again

 

[dashy1]

Mia managed to run out of her room just now and Olly went mad. He was hissing and swiping at her quite heavily. I got scratched in the process as I picked her up he continued to try and jump up growling, swiping and hissing and I've got lovely marks all down my leg! This isn't going well at all is it? She was shaken and when I took her back to her room I checked her out, she seems ok and was ready to play but as soon as she heard Olly hissing under the door she scrambled under the sofa when normally she goes towards the door when he's having a hissing session!

Update....I've just gone back into Mia's room and she's trying to get out again....not phased one bit!

 

[ArtNJ]

Adults cats don't normally try to hurt kittens. Swipes are usually "get away from me" swipes. Sometimes the adult cat may also charge at the kitten to back it off, and if you have a charging swiping adult cat, well, hard to say that isn't a problem no matter what the adult's mind set might be. So, it certainly didn't sound good, but could you provide more details on exactly what the adult cat did?

It may sound weird or unkind, but I'm less worried about you getting scratched up then what happened vis-a-vis the kitten. That is because humans are not protected by biological hard wiring that protects kittens. For a very stressed cat to lash out with claws at their human is actually a pretty typical thing called redirected aggression. It can be a serious problem sometimes, but in a two bedroom, I'd think you could mostly deal with it by having a towel handy to grab the adult in case you need to separate them.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! In case something like this occurs again have a big piece of cardboard ready that you can shove inbetween them and hold off an upset Olly.

If you aren't already, have some cat music going for the both of them. In case I haven't provide this for you (and for readers and lurkers as well ), there's Spotify, youtube, RelaxMyCat and MusicForCats. Classical harp music can have surprisingly good results.

 

[dashy1]

Adults cats don't normally try to hurt kittens. Swipes are usually "get away from me" swipes. Sometimes the adult cat may also charge at the kitten to back it off, and if you have a charging swiping adult cat, well, hard to say that isn't a problem no matter what the adult's mind set might be. So, it certainly didn't sound good, but could you provide more details on exactly what the adult cat did?

Mia shot out of her room and was running around the living area quite excitedly. Olly ran towards her hissing and she backed off under a dining chair. Olly had his claws out and swiped at her about 6 or 7 times, growling and hissing all the time. Not sure if he caught her but she seems ok. I ran over to pick her up out of his way and he tried to jump up still hissing and growling and swiped me in the process. He's always been a nervous cat, if anyone he doesn't know comes to the apartment he runs into my room and hides under the bed, sometimes he'll come out but usually he stays put.

 

[dashy1]

Hi! In case something like this occurs again have a big piece of cardboard ready that you can shove inbetween them and hold off an upset Olly.

If you aren't already, have some cat music going for the both of them. In case I haven't provide this for you (and for readers and lurkers as well ), there's Spotify, youtube, RelaxMyCat and MusicForCats. Classical harp music can have surprisingly good results.

Thank you

 

[ArtNJ]

So he didn't charge at the kitten, the kitten came for him and he defensively swiped. That is much less of a disaster. Still, its been a while and this introduction is definitely proving problematic. Are you too attached to consider rehoming the kitten? I mean, you can probably still get this workable...but in a two bedroom, with a very difficult case, and the kitten still being young enough to rehome easily, its something to think about imho.

 

[dashy1]

So he didn't charge at the kitten, the kitten came for him and he defensively swiped. That is much less of a disaster. Still, its been a while and this introduction is definitely proving problematic. Are you too attached to consider rehoming the kitten? I mean, you can probably still get this workable...but in a two bedroom, with a very difficult case, and the kitten still being young enough to rehome easily, its something to think about imho.

Sorry didn't explain well. He charged at her and that's why she ran under the chair. I did actually try to re home her last week as I couldn't see things improving. I posted on 5 Facebook pages and there were another 8 or 10 after my post and more before all on the same day,a lot of those were re posts of kittens still seeking homes! We have a huge problem with strays over here unfortunately. I am attached to her, I've had her over 2 months and I'll be in bits if I eventually do re home her but I can't see any other way right now.

 

[Furballsmom]

I did actually try to re home her last week as I couldn't see things improving.

Wait, so you have only had her since July 13? This isn't a very long time at all, try and be more patient with the whole thing. They're working on cat time, not yours. Are you trying any of the calming music for them, or calming products for him?

Just in case there might be something in here that helps, there's this although it's for adult felines;
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles

 

[dashy1]

Wait, so you have only had her since July 13? This isn't a very long time at all, try and be more patient with the whole thing. They're working on cat time, not yours. Are you trying any of the calming music for them, or calming products for him?

Just in case there might be something in here that helps, there's this although it's for adult felines;
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles

So there's still a chance? I'ts actually just over 2.5 months I've had her but that makes me feel better The other thing is that I have Mia on her own in a room most of the day (not ideal for any cat I know) and Olly was used to wandering into that room and the others whenever he pleased. That particular room is where he would sometimes go and take afternoon naps as well. So I think he feels as if she's taking over his home! I tried Felliway and it didn't make any difference to Olly. I'll try the music you suggested thank you

 

[dashy1]

Sorry for all the panic attacks! I've only ever been a cat mum to Olly - even though I grew up with pets both cats and dogs - usually one of each in our home. I hadn't actually had a pet for years though before Olly, But I'm so glad I found this forum. You've all been really encouraging and helpful

 

[ArtNJ]

If I read it right, it was 4 weeks prior to July 13, and you weren't seeing much progress and were worried you messed up. So basically its been 9 weeks now. Thats a long time for the big cat to still be charging and swatting a kitten with fervor. There is still a chance, these things almost always gradually improve with time together, but I'm concerned about when we are going to be able to get to time together? If not 9 weeks, when? If we can't progress to time together via a little bit of daily in the carrier time, then what else can be tried in this two bedroom apartment? Thats my concern. Is there some way to segregate the kitten's room by double stacked baby gates? Or do you have a big covered playpen? Just some way to get more time together, because I don't think the carrier time is cutting it for progress. I get it. Its not right to leave the kitten in the carrier for too long; its too small. But at the same time, the carrier time is not enough for progress it seems. If we can't make progress towards time together, I do think its reasonable to look for a rehome.

 

[dashy1]

I know a 2 bed apartment may sound like a small area but it's a big apartment with 2 huge cat safe balconies where I keep each litter box & they can access those through a cat flap. Thank you for the advice but I want to give it more time and as explained even if I didn't want to give it time re homing a cat here is very difficult at the moment due to the huge number of stray cats.

 

[Furballsmom]

So there's still a chance?

You're getting two rather different perspectives here, but I still think yes, there's a chance . I like the idea of the baby gates or a big covered playpen to help expose Olly to Mia under different circumstances than her charging out of the room and startling the heck out of him, but I think I like the babygates more. Mia got scared enough to hide in her room hearing Olly hiss, and I think it's important for her to have a way to retreat further than a playpen would allow her if she gets frightened.

Can you play with her more - it can sometimes help to increase a feline's confidence levels.

My boy didn't have any reaction to feliway either - some cats just don't.
There are these that might help Olly;
Only Natural Pet has a calming product called Just Relax Calming spray with essential oil (catnip oil).

There's this one, be sure and scroll all the way down the page;
www.bachflower.com

Also, there is ThunderWunders calming chews, Richard's Organic Pet Calm drops, Naturevet Hemp, HomeoPet Anxiety Relief, Head to Tail Calming, Relaxivet Quiet Moments Cat treats, GNC Calming formula, and there is Calm-o-mile, Natures Miracle calming spray, Vetri-Science's Composure is another item to look at, Pet Remedy - UK (it has valerian) is yet another, as is Essential Pet Pet-eze, Pet Organics No Stress, Only Natural Pet (brand and website) has other calming products, Pet Naturals also has one I believe, and there are others.

Lambert Vet Supply is a website to look at, and of course chewy, also there's Petwishpros, animaleo, 1-800-petmeds, Petco and PetSmart, and other pet stores.

There is also a product called a lickimat which could be helpful, as cats can be calmed by the process of licking.
foodpuzzlesforcats.com

This post talks about some other products;
Calming Treats For A Very Picky Cat

 

[dashy1]

You're getting two rather different perspectives here, but I still think yes, there's a chance . I like the idea of the baby gates or a big covered playpen to help expose Olly to Mia under different circumstances than her charging out of the room and startling the heck out of him, but I think I like the babygates more. Mia got scared enough to hide in her room hearing Olly hiss, and I think it's important for her to have a way to retreat further than a playpen would allow her if she gets frightened.

Can you play with her more - it can sometimes help to increase a feline's confidence levels.

My boy didn't have any reaction to feliway either - some cats just don't.
There are these that might help Olly;
Only Natural Pet has a calming product called Just Relax Calming spray with essential oil (catnip oil).

There's this one, be sure and scroll all the way down the page;
www.bachflower.com

Also, there is ThunderWunders calming chews, Richard's Organic Pet Calm drops, Naturevet Hemp, HomeoPet Anxiety Relief, Head to Tail Calming, Relaxivet Quiet Moments Cat treats, GNC Calming formula, and there is Calm-o-mile, Natures Miracle calming spray, Vetri-Science's Composure is another item to look at, Pet Remedy - UK (it has valerian) is yet another, as is Essential Pet Pet-eze, Pet Organics No Stress, Only Natural Pet (brand and website) has other calming products, Pet Naturals also has one I believe, and there are others.

Lambert Vet Supply is a website to look at, and of course chewy, also there's Petwishpros, animaleo, 1-800-petmeds, Petco and PetSmart, and other pet stores.

There is also a product called a lickimat which could be helpful, as cats can be calmed by the process of licking.
foodpuzzlesforcats.com

This post talks about some other products;
Calming Treats For A Very Picky Cat

Yes i think the baby gates is a good option. And I'll have a look at the links and products you posted, thank you for those.

I play with her for about an hour a day, sort of 10 - 15 minute playtimes. I'm working from home most days so I keep looking in on her as well but conscious of giving Olly a bit more time than normal. Thank again for your help