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How are they doing? All is going well and maybe a little better?
It's just more of the same. Nothing has changed. Duncan sometimes hisses, sometimes he couldn't care less that Indy was on the other side of the gate.How are they doing? All is going well and maybe a little better?
That is totally fine and positive. The fact it is not going negative tells me Duncan is accepting.It's just more of the same. Nothing has changed. Duncan sometimes hisses, sometimes he couldn't care less that Indy was on the other side of the gate.
And for Indy's part, he's completely oblivious to the fact that Duncan pitches fits.
So same 'ole, same 'ole.
Hang in there. The fact it is not escalating or turning negative is positive. The longer there is no real negativity the more trust is built.Well, it's been over 5 weeks now, and I feel like we've been in a stagnant place for 3 of them.
They're still eating together. Most times, Duncan is fine. He'll stop and watch Indy and then go back to eating. He's not far from the gate, and he's fine. Other times, like just a few minutes ago, he will walk over to the gate with Indy just on the other side, and hiss and/or growl. I get it - he's just communicating, and Indy is perfectly fine. Either he'll just watch Duncan, or today, he washed his feet, while Duncan growled.
I was there the whole time. It's just the same cycle over and over, and I don't see any movement for better or for worse. it's literally the same. thing. day. after. day. And it's been this way for 3 weeks. There's nothing more I can do to convince Duncan he's okay.
I swear, I'm about to let Indy out and see what happens. This is literally the definition of insanity.
/rant over.
Duncan is fine. He's fine when he's hissing and growling, too. I tapped the floor and said his name, and he quickly turned around and walked over to me. He's not traumatized, and neither is Indy."Other times, like just a few minutes ago, he will walk over to the gate with Indy just on the other side, and hiss and/or growl." - What does he do right after this? Here is where we want to distract and then reassure Duncan. If he rebounds back to normal it is very positive. If the negativity, negative body language lingers then we have more work to do.
I mean - Duncan is always walking and sniffing in the hallway where Indy eats. He's doing it right now. He walked in the bathroom the other day, while I was cleaning it, and Indy was in the bedroom.Are you still doing scent swapping and site swapping if possible?
Same as he's always been - sweet, loving, he wants to be near me, etc. He's just fine. In fact, he just brought me a toy as a gift.How is Duncan acting outside of these gate encounters? Normal?
I can distract Duncan pretty easily, but I've never tried it without the gate, so this would be a test for sure.We are going to have to think about doing a session with no gate with you involved to some degree (safely without at risk of being hurt in any way). I think in a week but I need to understand where Duncan is right now. Whether you think he would escalate, if he can be distracted away from a confrontation from Indy, etc.
"Duncan is fine. He's fine when he's hissing and growling, too." - This is great. Better than I was picturing.Duncan is fine. He's fine when he's hissing and growling, too. I tapped the floor and said his name, and he quickly turned around and walked over to me. He's not traumatized, and neither is Indy.
I mean - Duncan is always walking and sniffing in the hallway where Indy eats. He's doing it right now. He walked in the bathroom the other day, while I was cleaning it, and Indy was in the bedroom.
I put Indy in the bedroom sometimes, and he's rolling around and climbing/lying on the bed, which is where Duncan sleeps.
Days where Duncan hangs out in bed, I will allow Indy out to roam the house. He checks and sniffs, etc.
Same as he's always been - sweet, loving, he wants to be near me, etc. He's just fine. In fact, he just brought me a toy as a gift.
I can distract Duncan pretty easily, but I've never tried it without the gate, so this would be a test for sure.
Works for me.I think next weekend (8 days)we should try without the gate? What do you think?
Works for me.
The living room is probably best because they can either run to the bedroom, dining room, kitchen, and sun room. The bedroom would have them pigeon-holed.
Keep working on distracting and reassuring during this week.
I think we'll probably do it at the door to the bedroom. Duncan will feel very confident there.
Or do you think there is a better place?
We do want multiple escape routes as possible.
Ok. Good. Anywhere Duncan feels very confident and where Indy will feel pretty confident.The living room is probably best because they can either run to the bedroom, dining room, kitchen, and sun room. The bedroom would have them pigeon-holed.
What is a bit away from the bathroom? The living room? No, there's just a little hall between the bathroom and the living room, the gates, and the bedroom...yet there are plenty of places to scatter, if need be. The sun room has 2 large, high cat trees, which could help Duncan, since he loves those things.The only issue is that is a bit away from the bathroom I believe. So coordinating it could be a bit challenging.
And I would be in line to buy it. I love reading your advice C calicosrspecial !C calicosrspecial you could write a book and it would sell
Yes, the living room. I am trying to figure out how to get them together without having one run towards the other. Where they are pretty much there and the food goes down etc.What is a bit away from the bathroom? The living room? No, there's just a little hall between the bathroom and the living room, the gates, and the bedroom...yet there are plenty of places to scatter, if need be. The sun room has 2 large, high cat trees, which could help Duncan, since he loves those things.
My entire main floor is less than 900 sq feet, so it's not too crazy. The attic area and the basement are closed off by doors that I never leave open.
This is so great to hear!they both seem quite satisfied with the arrangement.
Great interactions today and yesterday between the two.
This morning, I sat with Duncan, and he immediately chowed down on his breakfast, back to the gates. He walked off right after. I was in the half bath, forgetting that Indy was still on the other side of the gate. I walked out and found Duncan sitting right on the other side, watching Indy - no stress, no hissing or meowing, and Indy was thrashing around, chasing a squeaky today.
I continued getting ready walking between the kitchen and the bathroom. Another time, I found Duncan happily eating his breakfast, again, back to the gates.
I only heard him meow once at Indy, and it wasn't even a threatening meow, so that was great. I'm noticing, too, that Indy will go and spend more time lounging in the bedroom doorway when he's not eating. I don't know if that's his way of giving Duncan some space or what, but they both seem quite satisfied with the arrangement.
So, good couple of days.
Ok, do the no gate intro in the place you think Duncan is most confident and secondly where you think Indy might be confident enough.Things are still going well. As I'm typing, Indy is shoving his feet under the living room door, and Duncan is trying to grab them. There's no hissing or anger.
They also just got done eating on opposite sides of the gates.
I'm ready to start giving this a shot tomorrow (saturday). I'm still thinking that the living room is the place to do it. The hallway door will be open, which leads to the bedroom and bathroom. It also leads in a different direction towards the dining room, sun room, and kitchen.
In the past, when Duncan and Admiral would fight (here in the living room), I'd stand up as if I was going to break them up, and they'd scatter. One would always run to the bedroom, and the other would head for the sun room. I would close the hallway door to keep them separated. Even though they could've easily just circled the house to get back to each other, they would always end up standing on either side of the door, crying for each other. I miss Admiral.
But anyway, this living room area worked for them, so I'm sure it'll be OK this time.