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- Oct 11, 2019
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I have a six years old female cat I've had for the past five years, and she's the queen of the house. One month ago or so we "got" a one year old male cat, "feral" but well kept, possibly abandoned, who decided to live with us. I've spent the majority of the time trying to make them acquainted.
Unfortunately I couldn't follow the proper introduction protocol - you know, keep them separated, let they sniff each other through a door, gradually have them interact through a gate etc etc, for a simple reason: I live in the boonies, and they both love spending a lot of time outside. The female cat spends most of the time outside as long as the weather allows it, and the new cat is the same, he even refused to get inside for the first week or so because he didn't trust us yet. This means they spend time unsupervised and it's pretty much impossible to keep them 100% separated.
Luckily, introductions didn't go that badly. Our F cat is pretty territorial because she's used to feral cats jumping in our garden trying to pick up fights every now and then. She hissed and growled lightly but never outright attacked, at best she would dash in his face, hiss loudly, and then hastily scurry away. M cat was very chill, he's very playful and curious, he always takes submissive stances whenever the other cat bothers him, at best he turned one of her "aggressions" into a chase in his favor a couple of times, but is otherwise the chillest cat.
A few weeks later and things are going pretty okay, we spend time with them outside and they tolerate each other fine, she ignores him until he really gets into her face, and I even caught them sniffing each other and her rolling on her side playfully once. They mostly ignore each other when he's inside in the female's domain. We even started feeling comfortable in leaving the house with both cats outside. Suddenly, things took a weird nosedive.
Last Tuseday and Wednesday weather was terrible and both cats stayed inside for two full days without seeing each other. Note: Male cat likes staying inside now, and he has his own personal domain where he's undisturbed and untouched by our cat or dog. Now that they are out again, she's sort of... Regressed? Almost like she forgot who he was and is starting anew. She growls a lot more and kind of bullies him even when he's minding his own business: ie, he's prancing around and she gets into his face, and everytime he tries to take a step anywhere she does it again until he starts fleeing. She's also a lot more nervous outside, growling and hissing even minutes after I broke up a fight, and she avoids my touch even though she was used to playing with me while the other cat was a few meters of the garden away less than five days prior.
What happened? Did she forget his smell after not seeing him for two days or something like that? I got Feliway Friends a week ago or so, and by now it should be in full effect in our living room (where the F cat spends most of the time inside), why is she more nervous now? She's otherwise great, doesn't have any symptoms of anxiety, no compulsive licking, she goes to the bathroom absolutely fine, still sleeps with me or on her usual bed, she's chill as usual once she actually gets inside and so on. It's just, now when she's outside with him she acts worse than she did a month ago, and I really don't understand why.
PS: both cats are neutered/spayed, they both have access to food, water, litter and everything a cat may want without interfering with each other's
PPS: this post was written in other forums a few weeks ago. I didn't get the opportunity to follow my cats that much compared to before due to university, luckily my parents take care of them. Today I got the opportunity to look at them interact in our garden for the first time since then: she's aggressive towards him, never fully attacks but now charges at him whenever he moves, and he's fully submitted. It breaks my heart. She used to let him play with us as we split our attentions to them both, but now she just goes crazy whenever he starts walking anywhere, and he's a lot more submissive than before. I have no idea what caused this regression. I actually unplugged Feliway because this started more or less when it should've started taking full effect.
Attaching pic of today's interaction: she got in his face and slowly backed away and started grooming, but as soon as he'd move she'd approach again
Unfortunately I couldn't follow the proper introduction protocol - you know, keep them separated, let they sniff each other through a door, gradually have them interact through a gate etc etc, for a simple reason: I live in the boonies, and they both love spending a lot of time outside. The female cat spends most of the time outside as long as the weather allows it, and the new cat is the same, he even refused to get inside for the first week or so because he didn't trust us yet. This means they spend time unsupervised and it's pretty much impossible to keep them 100% separated.
Luckily, introductions didn't go that badly. Our F cat is pretty territorial because she's used to feral cats jumping in our garden trying to pick up fights every now and then. She hissed and growled lightly but never outright attacked, at best she would dash in his face, hiss loudly, and then hastily scurry away. M cat was very chill, he's very playful and curious, he always takes submissive stances whenever the other cat bothers him, at best he turned one of her "aggressions" into a chase in his favor a couple of times, but is otherwise the chillest cat.
A few weeks later and things are going pretty okay, we spend time with them outside and they tolerate each other fine, she ignores him until he really gets into her face, and I even caught them sniffing each other and her rolling on her side playfully once. They mostly ignore each other when he's inside in the female's domain. We even started feeling comfortable in leaving the house with both cats outside. Suddenly, things took a weird nosedive.
Last Tuseday and Wednesday weather was terrible and both cats stayed inside for two full days without seeing each other. Note: Male cat likes staying inside now, and he has his own personal domain where he's undisturbed and untouched by our cat or dog. Now that they are out again, she's sort of... Regressed? Almost like she forgot who he was and is starting anew. She growls a lot more and kind of bullies him even when he's minding his own business: ie, he's prancing around and she gets into his face, and everytime he tries to take a step anywhere she does it again until he starts fleeing. She's also a lot more nervous outside, growling and hissing even minutes after I broke up a fight, and she avoids my touch even though she was used to playing with me while the other cat was a few meters of the garden away less than five days prior.
What happened? Did she forget his smell after not seeing him for two days or something like that? I got Feliway Friends a week ago or so, and by now it should be in full effect in our living room (where the F cat spends most of the time inside), why is she more nervous now? She's otherwise great, doesn't have any symptoms of anxiety, no compulsive licking, she goes to the bathroom absolutely fine, still sleeps with me or on her usual bed, she's chill as usual once she actually gets inside and so on. It's just, now when she's outside with him she acts worse than she did a month ago, and I really don't understand why.
PS: both cats are neutered/spayed, they both have access to food, water, litter and everything a cat may want without interfering with each other's
PPS: this post was written in other forums a few weeks ago. I didn't get the opportunity to follow my cats that much compared to before due to university, luckily my parents take care of them. Today I got the opportunity to look at them interact in our garden for the first time since then: she's aggressive towards him, never fully attacks but now charges at him whenever he moves, and he's fully submitted. It breaks my heart. She used to let him play with us as we split our attentions to them both, but now she just goes crazy whenever he starts walking anywhere, and he's a lot more submissive than before. I have no idea what caused this regression. I actually unplugged Feliway because this started more or less when it should've started taking full effect.
Attaching pic of today's interaction: she got in his face and slowly backed away and started grooming, but as soon as he'd move she'd approach again
And I love the white tip on the black cat's (female?) tail. 
