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Answers and an update: Yes, Twyla is usually walking somewhere when Hooper jumps her. Not always trying to get away, sometimes just trying to go about her business. Though sometimes she is on her back when he jumps, or they are facing each other and a slap fight escalates. She does sometimes go sit outside his room in the evening.That is great he is good about "going to bed". Yes, they do have pent up energy in the morning. AND usually around 8 or 9pm. That is the time they hunt in the wild typically.
"It's when they are on the move that the bad stuff usually happens." - Is Twyla walking away? When the bad stuff happens?
Good that Hooper plays with those. Keep trying to encourage that.
Ok, good on them eating. Positive. Yes, they do like to focus on the other cat's food.
"Hooper is in his room at night. Twyla is more nocturnal and likes to roam a bit during the night." - Interesting. DO you think she goes to his room at night?
""Did Twyla "fight" back this morning?" Yes, she did." - That is not necessarily bad as we want her to communicate her disinterest.
""How did they act after these "fights"?" Hooper either ran away and did something else, or came right back for round two. Twyla would either walk away if she had the opportunity or hold her position (usually lying down). She didn't go hide but seemed a bit subdued. Weather was probably a factor, too. It was raining pretty hard and that always stresses her." - Interesting he would run away. He is understanding a little BUT he doesn't seem to really fear her. Was she exposing her belly?
""Did they eat together before this? Did it go well?" No. He did sit and watch her as she ate some of his dry food." - That sounds fine.
"I'm hoping it was just a bad morning. They did have some good moments, it's just that things always seem to escalate to the rough play/fight. It would be fine it it was one and done, but he just doesn't know when to back off. When I get home I am going to give him some time with just me before they interact. I just feel like we are stuck at this stage and wonder if we will ever get past it." - I think it was a "bad morning". It actually doesn't sound all that bad and there were positives. I am not bothered by Twyla's actions and he did get it for a while. No, he doesn't know when to back off because he sees it as play. And he likes her. I am guessing he thinks "oh this is different, should be fun".
Oh, we may be a little stuck BUT we have the change in routine happening and the bad weather. Things don't switch on a dime AND it doesn't sound like it was really a fight. If they were acting differently (hiding etc) then I would be more concerned but they are way past the risk of them not getting along. It is just getting Hooper to stop being infatuated with her 24/7. He will get bored and the novelty will wear off.
We will get past this. Just when not if.
You are welcome. We will get there. I think you are a victim of your success. Hooper loves her and trusts her so doesn't always listen to her (though he seems to at times) and he does respect her. We don't have a fundamental issue here which is great. We just have a novelty, excitement issue. Which we can overcome. I know it is frustrating but we will get through this. Twyla might have to get a bit more forceful to let him know. But it doesn't sound like Hooper has any mean intent (which is great).
Don't worry, we'll get there. I suspect they will cuddle together in the future.
They did much better this evening, and I ended it at a peaceful moment after not quite two hours. Perfect timing as Hooper ran around like crazy immediately after. I ran pretty heavy interference, but they did have about three full contact loud tussles. But they also ate together, peacefully walked by each other and Hooper let her walk out of her litter box without incident. At times Twyla would sneak off for a little quiet time, but would eventually come back out to see what he was doing. At times she would gently play with a wand toy while he was nearby. They spent a lot of time in the bathroom, she was on the floor and he was trying to figure out how to drink water from the faucet (not very well).
Eventually she disappeared upstairs and I backed off on supervising because I figured she was hiding under the guest bed. After a few minutes I heard Hooper chirping upstairs. I went to see what was going on and discovered him in his room looking at Twyla, who was sitting on the cardboard scratcher next to his empty food bowl. She does that quite a bit, but today I remembered that the scratcher has catnip on it. She loves catnip, so I think she was a little stoned!
I think I am just suffering from a bit of exhaustion with the process. Our progress has been fairly slow and they still require so much supervision/observation and it takes a lot of time and mental and emotional energy. I was feeling pretty low today, so having a better evening helped.
Here is stoned Twyla: