Sorry for the long post, I'm at a loss on how to deal with new cat aggressive behavior!
Brief background: Resident cat is 4yo, male, fixed, was rescued from a hoarder house (with other cats), I adopted him 4 months ago. He's shy and the sweetest lap cat. 1 month ago I decided to get him a companion and adopted a 3yo, female. Shelter spayed her and said she's very shy and was a stray, so no background.
Now, with me and my bf she was never shy, very chatty and affectionate and opinionated from the second she arrived! She stays in my bedroom and sleeps on the bed with me every night (my 1 bed apt is quite big but I don't have a separate room where to keep her)
They are separated and for the past 3 weeks I've been trying to introduce them, following Jackson Galaxy method. They got to the point where they can eat together without fussing, with or without baby gate pretty fast. So I decided to let them meet one night and they nose bumped, RC hissed and NC got scared and backed up but calmed down and after a bit they both fell asleep on the couch. RC woke up and followed me to the kitchen, and at that point from nowhere NC chased RC and attacked him, fur flying. RC was walking away from NC so it seemed totally unmotivated to me.
I separated them immediately and went back to do only scent and site swapping every night after work.
When NC is alone in RC space she'll explore and mark a bit, but still looks scared and worried. When NC hears RC in her room, she'll start yowling really loud and gets fixated on the door, food or toys don't work as distractions.
During site swapping, RC will systematically use NC litter box, and NC is not happy about that. Not sure if this is a territorial thing or not, but I can stop him in case.
I tried to do intro sessions with NC in a playpen so they can get used to each other, and it was ok the first few times, now she keeps begging to be let out, and the 3 times I did, NC immediately puffed up, attacked RC, shrieking and chasing and cornering him. Again, fur flying, but not other injuries.
I always separate them and step back at this point, but it looks like her behavior is not improving at all, after 3 weeks of this cycle. She loves playing with laser and wand, but when she's in the same room as RC it's really difficult to distract her. RC for the most past just gets away and groom himself (until attacked).
I have Feliway in both rooms, and I'm trying Nutricalm liquid in NC food. I'm also asking the vet for help, but I'm getting general tips that are not helping.
I guess it doesn't help that RC runs from her instead of standing his ground. He hisses and runs and nothing else, he just wants to stay as far as he can when NC is around, but he's VERY food motivated lol. Also it takes 1-2days after an attack for RC to go back to his old self, affectionate kitty, which breaks my heart every time.
Any idea or advice would be greatly appreciated as I'm starting to think I'm not up to the task, or maybe NC is just not a good match. If you think it's her just trying to establish dominance, should I leave them together for some time after the attack to see what happens? I'd hate to take her back to the shelter, she's lovely with people, but this can't go on forever for the sake of my resident cat, I'm afraid he'll get injured
Brief background: Resident cat is 4yo, male, fixed, was rescued from a hoarder house (with other cats), I adopted him 4 months ago. He's shy and the sweetest lap cat. 1 month ago I decided to get him a companion and adopted a 3yo, female. Shelter spayed her and said she's very shy and was a stray, so no background.
Now, with me and my bf she was never shy, very chatty and affectionate and opinionated from the second she arrived! She stays in my bedroom and sleeps on the bed with me every night (my 1 bed apt is quite big but I don't have a separate room where to keep her)
They are separated and for the past 3 weeks I've been trying to introduce them, following Jackson Galaxy method. They got to the point where they can eat together without fussing, with or without baby gate pretty fast. So I decided to let them meet one night and they nose bumped, RC hissed and NC got scared and backed up but calmed down and after a bit they both fell asleep on the couch. RC woke up and followed me to the kitchen, and at that point from nowhere NC chased RC and attacked him, fur flying. RC was walking away from NC so it seemed totally unmotivated to me.
I separated them immediately and went back to do only scent and site swapping every night after work.
When NC is alone in RC space she'll explore and mark a bit, but still looks scared and worried. When NC hears RC in her room, she'll start yowling really loud and gets fixated on the door, food or toys don't work as distractions.
During site swapping, RC will systematically use NC litter box, and NC is not happy about that. Not sure if this is a territorial thing or not, but I can stop him in case.
I tried to do intro sessions with NC in a playpen so they can get used to each other, and it was ok the first few times, now she keeps begging to be let out, and the 3 times I did, NC immediately puffed up, attacked RC, shrieking and chasing and cornering him. Again, fur flying, but not other injuries.
I always separate them and step back at this point, but it looks like her behavior is not improving at all, after 3 weeks of this cycle. She loves playing with laser and wand, but when she's in the same room as RC it's really difficult to distract her. RC for the most past just gets away and groom himself (until attacked).
I have Feliway in both rooms, and I'm trying Nutricalm liquid in NC food. I'm also asking the vet for help, but I'm getting general tips that are not helping.
I guess it doesn't help that RC runs from her instead of standing his ground. He hisses and runs and nothing else, he just wants to stay as far as he can when NC is around, but he's VERY food motivated lol. Also it takes 1-2days after an attack for RC to go back to his old self, affectionate kitty, which breaks my heart every time.
Any idea or advice would be greatly appreciated as I'm starting to think I'm not up to the task, or maybe NC is just not a good match. If you think it's her just trying to establish dominance, should I leave them together for some time after the attack to see what happens? I'd hate to take her back to the shelter, she's lovely with people, but this can't go on forever for the sake of my resident cat, I'm afraid he'll get injured